What Not To Wear

Don’t you just hate those proclamations? I do. What not to wear was a very popular television show about 15 years ago which I could not watch. The premise was that a style “felon”, who was nominated by family and friends, would agree to throw out their current wardrobe and be given $5,000 to go shopping for a new one.

Stacy London, Clinton Kelly, and the viewing audience would watch this “felon” (not my word) shop while the two hosts critiqued what they chose. I couldn’t watch it without my stomach-turning. Seeing a woman ridiculed for her shopping choices may have made for interesting television but I felt they were needlessly demeaning her.

Whew…OK, I got that off my chest. Now let’s talk about what not to wear. The things we choose to not wear for no other reason than the limitations we put on ourselves.

Doesn’t it always seem easier to narrow down the styles and fashion you would absolutely never wear? The ones that feel too old for you.

For me, there are several things starting with orthopedic shoes because although my feet would feel wonderful in them, they make me feel ancient. That means I’m always on the hunt for comfy shoes with a modicum of style. You’ll also never see me wearing elastic waistbands, that show. I love the easy comfort of pants and skirts elastic waistbands but I never let them show.

How about the fashions you’d never wear now because they seem too young for you? The ones you’d feel silly wearing lest someone thinks you look like “mutton dressed as lamb”.

What about fashions we won’t wear because of our aging bodies? Sleeveless comes to mind as does short items where our knees and elbows are on display. Why are we limiting ourselves at a time when time itself seems so much more precious?

There is a style that never seems to look too old or too young. It’s classic style. A pair of chinos with a button-down doesn’t look appreciably different on a 15-year-old or an 80-year-old. What is different is how you style it and the accessories you add. That makes classic garments ideal for investment dressing so you can buy fewer items of better quality.

And so right about now, Iā€™m reconsidering trends. I know they help to keep us looking current, but at what cost?

I would love to know, is there a style you avoid like the plague because of your own prejudices?

Be well and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.

xo

 

 

106 Comments

  1. Great post Jennifer!!

  2. Suzanne Robinson says:

    I loved watching WNTW and tried to find better ways to dress my plus size body. So, being plus size most my life and now digging into my 50s, I have many rules. What is sad is I find myself wearing what I call uniforms. My standard outfits. Hard for me to try new šŸ™ So, only v necks, no crew necks ever. No ruffles. No button down tops. I an apple, buttons always pull and I just look big and blocky. Loose on top, fitted in bottom, loose bottoms, fitted top. I cant imagine tucking in anymore. My top uniform is a tank, with fitted capris or pants and a third layer such as a sleeveless open long vest, cardigans are my best friends. I also cant wear a necklace up close on my neck, only long. I love seeing your page and trying to gather new ideas! I need them! ā¤šŸ˜·

    1. I am breaking out of my mold these days too and love to have you along!

  3. I loved WNTW but thought their final outfits were too formal for older women living in California. They hated flip flops and those shoes are a standard here. I still wear sleeveless tops and capris. Also leggings. Donā€™t like anything with ruffles or lace. Love j.jill Wearever line, soft knits with elastic waist but still classic look. I also need an orthopedic type shoe but look for style like Vionic and Clarkā€™s. No heels. A lot of clothing choices depends on where you live and not so much age.

  4. Catherine says:

    When I first read the question my gut response was I donā€™t have hard and fast rules on what I wonā€™t wear. I wear mostly shoes that will hold my orthotic insoles, much better than orthotic shoes! But I donā€™t wear camouflage, anything orange, anything ā€œsexyā€ mini skirts bare belly, lots of cleavage etc. Other than that I am willing to try almost anything in the change room and assess it on its own merits. My rule is it has to work 5 ways in my closet and I have to LOVE it.

  5. Well, there are a lot of items I won’t wear: sleeveless tops, off the shoulder tops (I have always hated them!), patterned pants, culottes, frilly blouses, etc. I must admit I wear orthotics in my shoes, so I am stuck in sneakers but at least I found a great pair of ECCO sneakers which I have 3 colors. I change them with my outfit. If I wear a skirt, I wear a cute pair of skechers. Had to give up on heels when I was 45, so it has been a long time. at that time, I did mourn not being able to wear cute or stylish shoes. But now at age over 70, I don’t mind so much! ha ha

    1. Kathleen P Doherty says:

      I’m with you!

  6. Leggings. (Nope. Never.) Long bohemian tops and tunics ā€” ruffled, peasant-style, etc. (Just not the right look for me.) Cold shoulder tops. (Few things are more aging or more dated than this look.) Cowl or draped necks. (Unflattering to my bustline). Polo shirts. (Ditto.) Capri pants. (Flattering to no one.) Very long or oversized earrings. (Proportion is wrong for me, though I do admire them on others.) Anything brown. (I can wear it, but I choose to stick with black, navy, white and gray in basics, and doing so simplified things for me. I wear lighter and brighter warm tones, but no brown.)

    1. Also ā€” ditto to orthopedic-looking shoes. I do wear heels for work, though nothing higher than 2ā€ these days, and nothing narrow/spiked. Love a block heel and can wear all day. I love cute flats and stylish sneakers/espadrilles for casual days, but I avoid all round toe styles, and those Mary Jane comfort styles are also not for me. But I understand that people with feet problems have few cute options, so I am not judging those who have to wear them.

    2. I forgot about leggings! haha No thanks. I bought a pair, attempted to wear them a few times, always felt strange in them. I finally gave them to my 20 something niece. She rocks them.
      I have an internal meeter that goes off when I look like I’m trying to hard!!

      1. The closest I come to classic is a mandarin-collared silk button-down shirt or silk blend v-neck sweater with straight leg jeans and ballet flats. I feel sad, boring and not-myself in most classic clothes. I avoid tight and bare things for both aesthetic and comfort reasons. Maxi dresses are my favorite – summer rayon caftans or kimonos over maxi tank dresses and winter cotton jersey knits (it never gets really cold in Southern California). Palazzo pants are also fun. I guess I like things that drape and swish around my feet.šŸ™‚ I donā€™t need orthotics but my feet are wide, so I have a collection of Vionic sandals, Rockport Cobb Hill ankle boots and Tieks ballet flats. I have one off-the-shoulder blouse in black and two cold shoulder maxi dresses that always get compliments; no cropped pants or leggings or sleeveless things, no tiers or ruffles, no neon or pastels, no high heels (my knees wonā€™t tolerate them). Black, white, gray, teals and turquoise, sunset and autumn colors. I love jewelry, so I tend to wear clothing that provides an interesting backdrop for it, but always comfortable.

  7. I don’t to lace or ruffles. Just too frilly for me. There was a time that I wouldn’t wear sleeveless tops, but in my “old age” I figured – why not. There’s something to be said for staying comfortable in the heat! šŸ™‚

  8. Mary Wilson says:

    I loved WNTW and learned a lot; but I love reading you too! I donā€™t have much I wouldnā€™t wear except orthopedic shoes and mixed patterns. Donā€™t wear anything too low cut or too tight or too short. Love distressed jeans and I rarely wear anything with elastic in the waist At the moment I am on the hunt for comfortable and fashionable shoes but am ā€œsheltered in placeā€ per dr orders; so all shopping must be done online. Just received a swimsuit with ruffles on the shoulder that I will only wear on the deck because we canā€™t go anywhere safely! I often wear sleeveless tops as I am too hot during the summer to do otherwise. I do my hair and makeup and wear a smile as I think most people will notice your smile and not your arms. šŸ˜€

  9. Connie Haines says:

    I enjoyed that show once in awhile, but agree one could arrive at the makeover’s end goal without the harsh reality check. I have always supposed – like with so many of the reality shows – that much of the dialogue was actually scripted for maximum effect, or at least coached along by directors looking for shock factor. As to what I avoid: bikinis, overly girly anything, polyester, clunky shoes and clingy fabrics.

  10. I avoid ripped jeans of any length, capri pants, cold sholder tops (never got into that), statement sleeves, booties with cut out toes, tshirts with wording, large flowers, short skirts/dresses. I have a good idea of what looks nice on me and what to avoid.
    I agree that classics always work with your own style additions.

  11. I agree with many of your replies, especially ripped jeans or cut off jeans. I never wear ruffles and I pass on crazy patterned outfits, although I canā€™t seem to pass on a paisley item when I find them. I have given up on short shorts, even though I have managed to maintain a reasonable weight. I have switched over to pull up pants and jeans, mainly because I do not see the reason for belt loops when belts are not worn and they are comfortable because I have a short waist. I also never let them show and I am very selective of the material.

    1. Hi Dee,
      Would you please share brand name pull up pants that work for you? I agree with your thought process.
      Thanks,
      Pat

      1. Eileen Fisher does some great pull on styles. Look at the stretch crepe.

      2. Thank you, waiting for stores to openšŸ¤—

      3. Hi Pat,

        I like gloria vanderbilt jeans and shorts. They have a moderate waist band which I find comfortable because its not too high. I just purchased some nice pants that are Liz Clairborne classic ankle studio pants and I also have New York brand. Both of these brands do not have waist bands and lie flat all the way up just like a dress pant does. I am 5ā€™2ā€ and have a difficult time getting pants to fit, petite can be too short and regular is usually too long.

      4. Exactly! I know where to find brands you mentioned, thanks for the tips! Girls have to stick together.

  12. I gave up on any shoe with a heel years ago but will never buy a ā€œMary Janeā€ style shoe no matter how comfortable they might be. I just donā€™t care for the look. Ripped jeans are another fashion trend that evades me. I watched WNTW and did learn a lot from the show.

  13. Cathy Holloway says:

    Agree with you, mostly, about WNTW. I didn’t find Clinton’s comments as demeaning as Stacey’s. Often felt the roles they were assigned were “good cop/bad cop”. Must admit I learned a lot watching them though.
    I won’t do tattered, frayed, holey jeans and don’t understand why anyone out of their teens does. Love the boho look on others but don’t feel like I wear it well. Same shoe struggle as you. Try Vionic & Earth brands. Style & comfort, the winning combination!

  14. WNTW had a few good lessons. Throw out old bras. For a professional look, a well-fitting blazer looks far more professional than a trendy blouse or old t-shirt, etc. I hope this pandemic’s lessons stick as well. Women look naturally beautiful with less make-up. We can make do with less. Consider the cost of keeping up with all of the trends. What styles do I avoid? I am with you on orthopedic shoes. Just can’t go there yet. Also anything overly floral, pastel pink, or ruffly (a holdover from my days as one of only a few women in a male profession). Peplum. Tight button up shirts. Platform shoes because I have big feet and they just look bigger in them. Tube socks. Tube tops.

  15. I agree with ripped/distressed jeans are not a style I find attractive. I try to purchase classic pieces and add current fashions and colors to make them have a cool vibe.

  16. I donā€™t know that my style choices have changed that much over the years. I have never been comfortable wearing anything low cut, too tight, pastel, ruffles, lace, short shorts or sleeveless.
    Yikes! As you mentioned, I still try to find a shoe that is comfortable and functional but does not date me, too much. I focus more on my skin and hair maintenance these days. I keep my nails trimmed and polished with a neutral color. I do wear makeup everyday and have found that adding accessories can really elevate an updated look. I am ok adding a trendy piece of clothing as long as itā€™s not an investment piece.

  17. Biggest challenge is finding breathable, long sleeve or 3/4 sleeve tops for summer, that don’t cling and don’t require ironing, and are not black or white, or sheer, without crew neck style, and are not blousey. Is that asking too muchšŸ˜Š?
    I’m not a fan of sandals that are all straps and thick soles.

    1. I am with you on the tops for summer. 3/4 sleeves are my jam, but so hard to find

      1. Just a reminder…you can always buy easier to find long sleeve tops and have them shortened. šŸ˜Š

  18. While much of it was hard to watch. I learned a few good lessons: Jeans are seldom a perfect fit. Donā€™t be afraid to get them properly altered. ( tuck the waistband, hem the length)
    Jackets also – if it fits well in the body, get the sleeves adjusted.
    A good fitting bra is your first tool.

  19. I love tees and sleeveless shells (keeps me on track to do arm exercises, and now I am doing yoga.) I hope my arms look okay in these – I am my worst critic.
    I do not like frayed jeans (the ones frayed at the cuff, chewed I think some sites are calling them.) I know they are very popular with many, but I just don’t like them.

    1. I agree we are often our own worst critic. Iā€™m hoping to change that.

  20. I tend to feel the cold – not just in winter – so when I am at home will very often wear a fleece over a nice outfit. I know they are something we are told to avoid as they are aging, but honestly, nothing is more aging than feeling miserable. BTW, I do have the central heating on!

  21. I avoid wearing too much of anything, especially fabric and shoes. Thick heels, soles, and straps add extra weight. You wonā€™t catch me in a tunic top. Iā€™ll stick to classic style.

  22. sheryl beil says:

    oh yea….crop and or ankle pants…heres the reason, in the 70’s remember the thing was big long bellbottoms. and i loved them..however we didnt have much money, and frequently my stuff was 2nd hand….and sometimes the pants were shorter than the style…and i got teased, of course. so while every style guru on the planet is pushing crops, i just sit here like, when pigs fly, ladies, when pigs fly…….also, while i liked that show, i frequently disagreed with their choices of what women should wear….my biggest aggravation?, peplum tops or jackets….they pushed those frequently, and i dont think they do anything for anybody, not even the 90 pound weather ladies on the local news….thank you for letting me vent, feels good!

    1. Itā€™s so interesting how the teasing wounds from our youth last and last. Mine sure have

  23. For me, it comes down to fabric. Absolutely need breathable ones…linen, cotton, bamboo etc. especially in the warmer months.
    Totally agree with you on footwear. My personal choice is anything made by Vionic.
    I say, wear what you are comfortable in. You donā€™t need to follow the trends to be current. Update with accessories and yes, carry yourself with confidence!
    Classic pieces will always stand the test of time.

    1. True and now that you mention it, artistic clothes have similar staying power.

      1. They absolutely do! I have a few artistic tops and tunics that I love to wear with stream lined bottoms. I actually have a few from my mom that she had way back in the day. I think of them as my big accessory. When I do wear them, I let them do the talking, so I only wear simple stud earrings, or one over size bangle!
        So much fun …

  24. Gail Schwartz says:

    Because I am short, I avoid cropped pants and maxi skirts

  25. As a petite, I don’t wear maxi skirts or dresses or the soft fabric wide leg pants. I tried in the past, but always felt overwhelmed by all that fabric and the garments ended up in the back of my closet.

    1. Thatā€™s a great reason to not spend money on them again.

  26. Torn, distressed jeans. Itā€™s a puzzle to me why this trend gets adopted by any woman over the age of 16.

  27. Gaye higgins says:

    No sleeveless for me. If I have one one under a jacket, I wouldn’t remove my jacket if I caught fire!!!!

  28. For me it’s Boho style and maxi dresses and skirts. Last summer I thought I should stop restricting my choices and bought a gorgeous kimono which is in a fabric and pattern that is my style, but I’ve never worn it. Every time I try it on, it just feels wrong. If I don’t wear it this summer, I’ll give it to a friend to make scarves out of it.

  29. Paulette Levy says:

    Yes, there are styles I try to avoid…yet I’m NOTalways successful. Sleeveless blouses, tees! I own a few and usually send them to the rear of the closet, but with layering….I grab onto the tanks and tees! Then, if the weather warms up and I remove the topper or remove the cardi…there I am in a sleeveless tee. I’m not heavy but my upper arms have not responded to gardening,light weights etc. they are flabby…ugh.

    1. Susan Gowan says:

      Don’t like animal prints though I have tried. My shoe choice is Skechers as they are comfortable. Love the classics as they are always “in”. Would never wear ripped jeans and try not to wear sleeveless unless the weather is hot like today. A humid 31Ā°C. Never liked WNTW as it seemed very demeaning to the subject but it did bring up some interesting style points.

      1. Like Sheryl explained, in the 70s and 80s my pants were always too short, which made me feel like a clown. As a result, I now avoid cropped pants and capris. I let my hair turn silver, so now I avoid brown or taupe next to my face. Also, since I have a large bust, I avoid pockets around the chest area, crew necks, and scarves. Shoes, well I had two foot surgeries last year for arthritisā€”I now wear colorful trainers even with conservative suits. Iā€™ve decided if I look good from the ankle up, thatā€™s Ok with me! So go figureā€”crops make me feel awkward, but giant supportive trainers (Altra is my fave) donā€™t. šŸ˜Š

    2. Iā€™m right there with you and the untoned arms but if itā€™s really hot I have to ignore them.

  30. I do not wear anything sheer. Anything that needs a Camille under it to provide modesty, I will not touch. Mostly because in summer I get too hot, but also I think a mature woman in sheer clothing isn’t attractive, unless they are a suoermodel of course.

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