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Ageless? Why Would You Want to be?

Ageless? Why Would You Want to be?

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know I have strong opinions. Every now and then I feel the need to rant about discuss topics and get your input. Last week I ran across something that was initially puzzling… then annoying because it insulted my intelligence.

Because I’m a blogger, I spend a lot of time on social media. That’s not necessarily a good thing but it comes with the territory. I’ve noticed a new buzz term and hashtag on Instagram (the fastest growing social media channel) that disturbs me. It’s #ageless. Perhaps it’s harmless… but not the way I seeing it being used.

No one is ageless. We’re all aging and it’s nothing to fear or be ashamed about. I know many women do fear it and fight tooth and nail to look younger than they are by any means possible. The term anti-aging has always bothered me and #ageless falls into the same category if you’re telling us a brand’s product has caused your face to appear #ageless and timeless.

As far as I can tell the only way to stop the clock is by dying. Marilyn Monroe will look 36 forever because that’s when she died, at 36. She’s timeless.

A lot of women my age are having facelifts, neck lifts, eye jobs, getting Botox, and injecting fillers into their face. I have no problem with doing any of those things! Heck, my Mom had a total facelift at 55 and looked amazing! I’m also not saying I rule any of those things out for me.

What bothers me is seeing women with their faces full of filler and their necks pulled tighter than a drum, spouting the joys of looking naturally #ageless.

Is it just me who sees the work they’ve had done or have you picked up on it as well? How do the women feel who don’t spot the “work done”? Do they feel worse about themselves because their faces are showing the natural signs of aging?

I frequently use #agelessstyle because I believe great style is ageless. I also use #agelessfashion because great classic clothes are always appropriate and timeless. But simply #ageless, in relation to our faces feels wrong.

I like to support all women but I reserve that for honest women, facelift, injectables or not, who’re not trying to sell us a bill of goods that impact our confidence.

I’m not suggesting every woman need admit publically what she does to enhance her appearance. I’m saying that if you’re getting paid by a brand to promote a product, you need to be honest.

Is it just me or do you find these terms insulting?

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

 

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56 Comments

  1. January 12, 2018 / 2:09 pm

    I hate the terms ageless, anti-aging, any of that garbage as it insinuates that if you don’t meet whatever criteria there is for those words, there is something wrong with you. The same goes for folks who compliment others for “not looking their age”, that makeup makes you “look like a better version of yourself” or “enhances your beauty” (as if you’re not perfect without it), and the entire societal issue with a woman “admitting” how old she is and not being able to ask a woman how old she is for fear she will be ashamed of how many years she’s survived on this planet. It’s all extraordinarily twisted. By the way, I’m 43, turning 44 in a few weeks, haven’t worn makeup since my 20’s, and only wear SPF moisturizer because I don’t want to get skin cancer. Why the hell can’t people just focus on being HAPPY? There is massive hypocrisy out there in so many women’s publications claiming to celebrate all women and diversity (Glamour is a great example) and yet their pages are filled with “anti-aging” advertisements, articles on how to “look youthful at any age” (because apparently it’s bad to look like you’re 40, or 60, or whatever), and even cigarette ads right after articles touting ways for women to improve their health (I wrote Glamour about this as they regularly have at least 2-3 cigarette ads as do many “women’s” magazines, they blew me off). Women are raised from a very young age to look at makeup as a necessity for “beauty” and sold cosmetics to ironically “look like you’re not wearing makeup” and celebrities being told that to be “camera ready” means to glom on the makeup, not to mention the fact that most makeup is filled with endocrine disruptors and other toxic chemicals because cosmetics aren’t regulated by the FDA. Just imagine if the “Beauty” sections of magazines and blogs and other media were filled with images of nature and happiness and flowers and authentic moments, rather than $25 eyeshadows and $200 face creams that supposed environmental advocates like Nicole Kidman and Julia Roberts push at you telling you that you need these to “look younger” because god FORBID you walk out your door looking like you do naturally. (Don’t get me started on the fact that these women are relegated to hock ‘anti aging’ products because after 30 you’re deemed over the hill to simply sell normal lip gloss and mascara). Cosmetics as decoration to the face? Fine. Groovy. Love a good cat eye or a red lip. But as a way to pretend you’re not who you are or to try and make yourself feel better because a company told you that you are not beautiful just as you are and must wear their crap to be accepted (i.e., look young)? Makeup artist Bobbie Brown is one of the worst offenders, claiming to promote empowerment of girls while telling them they should ask their parents for plastic surgery if they don’t like their nose and that her makeup will enhance their beauty, ultimately saying that they are not attractive enough without it (and you know what that means, you’ll never fall in love or be happy if you’re not pretty enough for today’s crazy ass standards). Life is hard enough on women and girls – fuck these terms and let’s call bullshit on all the manipulation out designed to make women feel less than perfect just as they are.

    • January 13, 2018 / 6:28 am

      Our society is heavily focused on appearance over substance. It’s a shame but I’m seeing some things change which gives me hope!

  2. Reader
    July 27, 2017 / 2:07 pm

    There once was a back-to-school print campaign for a shopping mall in my city that featured a 21-year-old model as “mother” to an 11-year-old girl. I knew this because I knew them. This is the impossible standard women are held to in our society. Unless you have children at 10 years old, it is impossible. BTW, the model had a constant struggle to keep slim and changed shape and size quickly after leaving that career behind.

    • July 27, 2017 / 3:38 pm

      Just today I passed a cosmetic display and the model in the photo could not have been older than 12. It annoyed me know end.

  3. July 27, 2017 / 9:32 am

    Ageless style is not what my post is about. I thought that was pretty clear.

  4. July 27, 2017 / 9:16 am

    You’re referring to ageless style Cindy. I use the term ageless style also. This is not what my post was about. Popping over to read.

  5. July 27, 2017 / 3:20 am

    Great discussion here, Jennifer. I recently wrote about age acceptance. I want to look my best at 64, but also accept that I am 64, love it, and not try to be 20 again. I look at some pictures online and they actually make me sad, because I think some women are trying to live in the past, a past that is long gone. The real harm is that the younger generation of women have begun Botox in their 20s and 30s and do not wish to age at all We need to embrace who we are at the age we are ….and of course look and feel our best at that age. (but not try to be something we have left behind)

    • July 27, 2017 / 9:35 am

      I totally agree Pam! Some women over 50 aren’t sending the right message and it’s harming all women.

  6. Sharron
    July 26, 2017 / 5:48 pm

    You can always tell when someone has had work done. Always looks a little strange.

    • July 26, 2017 / 9:12 pm

      That’s my experience too, Sharron.

  7. Creal
    July 26, 2017 / 5:46 pm

    I’m not thrilled with the term ageless either. My bigger pet peeve is the over 50 bloggers who present themselves as ageless. I prefer the bloggers like you…REAL. So many of the other bloggers have professional photos of themselves using a filtered lens wearing clothes given to them by a retailer. If I see one more 55 year old blogger wearing a short dress with flawless legs, I’m going to scream! I look fabulous too when I use a filter and edit my photos. How is that helpful?

    Rant done. Keep up the great work, Jennifer!

    • July 26, 2017 / 9:11 pm

      Just to add a little levity to this conversation…filters? How do I get one? I rely on poor picture quality, and bad camera angles. I’m not going to lie about anything that happens here with me. Thanks for sharing!

  8. Bonna Nichols
    July 26, 2017 / 4:04 pm

    The most beautiful women I ever knew were my Grandmothers, Mother and Mother-in-law and not one of them had anything “done”.

    • July 26, 2017 / 9:01 pm

      I love that Bonnie. I wish more women felt that way. We need not have had work done to be beautiful.

  9. July 26, 2017 / 4:01 pm

    I am fine with the term ‘ageless’ and believe it implies something is suitable or appealing to anyone. Women who have work done want to look better and some may want to look younger, and certainly some refuse to admit they are getting older. My issue with aging is when people make assumptions about me based on the way I look, having no knowledge of my capabilities, accomplishments, or interests. If I want a senior discount, I will ask for it! Assuming people qualify for a discount, or need help, or are impaired simply based on looks is insulting to me.

    • July 26, 2017 / 9:00 pm

      That insults me too, Nancy.

  10. Karen
    July 26, 2017 / 1:56 pm

    Well said! Spot on!!

  11. July 26, 2017 / 1:38 pm

    Hi Jennifer,
    This is an interesting point of view on the term ageless. My personal interpretation of ageless is – without Age. Meaning to me that age is not an issue. I think that being ageless is always being who you really are all the time.
    . Personally I have never made an issue or announcement of my age. I’ve never hid my age. If someone asks I gladly tell them. My grandkids love to announce how old everyone is all the time.

    I wear clothes and do activities what fits my body and lifestyle and when it doesn’t I release it and move on. I think we all ( both men and women) place too much power in a number. I believe two things. First: What does age have to do with it? And number two, If we don’t mind it doesn’t matter.

    I guess, my point of view is that if we aren’t attaching a number to someone then they are ageless and all beautiful in their own very special way.

    I love you posts????

    Rosemary Davis

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:57 pm

      I love your perspective, Rosemary! It’s only an issue if we make it one. Women with your confidence are not rattled by the social media propaganda that goes on, and good for you. I wish all women were as confident as you are.

  12. July 26, 2017 / 1:11 pm

    I’m about to turn 55 and I was just thinking the other day that instead of fighting the aging process, we really should enjoy the freedom that comes with it. Nobody in their right mind would really expect a 55 year old to look 25. It’s time to just relax and embrace the stage of life we’re in, whatever it is. I’ve enjoyed every stage of my life, so why not this one too? So, my goal is to look good for MY age, not someone else’s.
    Aimee

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:52 pm

      So perfectly put!! My goal is to look the best I can at 60. I’m not trying to look 20, 30, 40 or 50 and they won’t pretend to be younger than I am.

  13. Harriet
    July 26, 2017 / 12:03 pm

    I think women need to love themselves at every age and stop trying to look like someone they are not. Do I like the wrinkles, weight gain and grey hair. No. I just try to look the best I can without going under the knife. I would rather spend my money on life experiences and my family. I want people to remember our times together and not commenting at how great I look laying in my coffin.

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:49 pm

      Harriet, you’ve hit the nail on the head! It’s all about experiences…not about how you look when you’re doing it. At the end of the day, no one is going to remember what you wore, they’re going to remember how you made them feel.

  14. July 26, 2017 / 12:00 pm

    I actually never thought of the term and hashtag #ageless as never growing older, I see and thought of it as styles, activities (daily living) can be for any age group. I can definitely see where you’re going with this and I relate and agree in so many ways since I’m one who has never had any plastic surgery or injections (although I see nothing wrong with women who choose to do so if it makes them feel better about themselves).
    I’m enjoying life each day regardless of my age.
    Love your openness and look forward to reading how others feel about this.

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:47 pm

      Enjoying life is what it’s all about, Trina. My readers of some of the smartest woman around!! I love to hear their opinions and share their wisdom here.

  15. Cheryl Ann
    July 26, 2017 / 11:19 am

    The honest part of this is what caught my attention, Jennifer. I remember Joan Rivers saying she’d be at an event, talking about one of her surgeries. Someone would overhear her conversation and act like it was something unusual. She said most woman and many of the men were having the same surgery, lipo, etc. and acting like they wouldn’t do such a thing. They just” ate right and exercised”. Many of my friends have had surgeries and just look too tight & truly a little strange. I miss their beautiful faces & expressions. Maybe one thing would be ok, but it seems once they start, they can’t quit. I guess I’m afraid to start, because I may want to continue. I don’t think I’d look younger…just stranger!

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:44 pm

      I agree with you, Cheryl Ann. The friends I know who have gone down that path have not stopped at one procedure. Some end up looking so unlike themselves as to be unrecognizable.

  16. Connie Miller
    July 26, 2017 / 11:15 am

    Jennifer, I’m with you! Would I like to have my 20 year old boobs again? Sure I would but I’m not 20 anymore and no amount of botox or or medical intervention is going to change that. Honestly, if I could choose between 20 year old perky breasts or 65 year old self-confidence and acceptance, I’d choose the latter hands down. It took a lot of years to learn to love myself but I finally got there and I love my life – wrinkles, sags and all. Personally, I have always thought there was something incredibly exotic and intriguing about the faces of our seniors. There are some amazing stories tucked between all those skin folds!

    • marlene alves
      July 26, 2017 / 11:20 am

      Connie Miller, you put it perfectly; thank you!!

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:41 pm

      You’ve nailed this one better than I ever could have, Connie! Thank you!

  17. Diane Caird
    July 26, 2017 / 11:06 am

    Jennifer,

    You nailed it ! I am so tired of approaching cosmetic counters only to be approached by a 25 year old talking to me about “what she likes” and “anti-aging”….. nothing against the sales girl (other than poor training on the part of management), but what a 25 year old girl finds “amazing” is not what I find “amazing” at 60. I find I will not purchase anything now until I have researched and read about best products on-line from my various go-to-blogs (you) and favorite YouTube channels !

    Great post !

    Diane

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:39 pm

      I’m with you, Diane. Those poor young girls at the cosmetic counters have no idea how much they insult our intelligence with the rhetoric they have been told to tell us.

  18. July 26, 2017 / 10:59 am

    I so agree! When it comes to aging, promoting #ageless isn’t doing any of us, regardless of age, any good. Nothing, short of dying, prevents the aging process. Would I like to turn the clock back on my face? Absolutely! Will I get Botox or plastic surgery? I don’t think so, but won’t rule it out. Let’s stop using “ageless” unless we mean “timeless,” in which case, we should probably just say what we mean: timeless or classic.

  19. July 26, 2017 / 10:54 am

    I don’t buy into that either. It’s a way of making us feel ashamed and invisible – or that we should be if we’re not “fixing” something that is a natural part of life.

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:36 pm

      I agree, Barbara! Aging is nothing to be ashamed of.

  20. Lisa K
    July 26, 2017 / 10:42 am

    I do find it annoying and dishonest when someone who has obviously (I think) had work done tries to sell me products to help me look younger, ageless, etc. Each to her own, but don’t act like your expensive plastic surgery was accomplished with a face wash or cream or vitamins.

    I enjoy looking my best, but at least for now can accomplish that with exercise, healthy eating and clothes I enjoy ????.

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:28 pm

      Exactly my feelings, Lisa!

  21. Lynn
    July 26, 2017 / 10:28 am

    Jennifer I agree with you. I personally would not choose to have work done to look younger, I am the age I am and striving to be younger is just futile. As you said we are either aging or we are no longer living. The culture we live in puts such high esteem in youth, being slim and doing whatever to stay that way. Many cultures are better at honouring their elders than we North Americans are. As we “baby boomers” are a large section of the population maybe we can help to change this thinking as we stay connected and relevant to the generations before us as well as those coming after us. I will be 67 in a few days; I love dressing well and knowing my personal style. I don’t want to be invisible but I won’t strive to appear younger either! I think I’ll get off my soapbox now????ha ha

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:26 pm

      Stay on that soapbox as long as you like, Lynn! I agree wholeheartedly.

  22. jodie filogomo
    July 26, 2017 / 10:10 am

    i’ve also seen the term #proaging which I definitely like better than #antiaging!!
    XOXO
    Jodie

  23. Barbara Daley
    July 26, 2017 / 10:03 am

    Totally agree

  24. Phyllis
    July 26, 2017 / 9:56 am

    I think looking healthy, having energy, positive attitude, and someone interesting (at any age), is ageless.

    Next time, show pictures of (ageless) 60+ yr.olds. I’m 70+ (and ageless). Before I turned 70, I was not going to admit it, but, I’m happy to say – I’m 70 !

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:23 pm

      That’s the trifecta I love, Phyllis! No shame in being what we are.

  25. Jan
    July 26, 2017 / 9:47 am

    I’m with you every step of the way. When I still lived in the south and could afford it, I had Botox ad fillers for a couple of years. My fairly conservative and fabulous Dermatologist’s goal was to help one look less tired by filling in the lines that can pull one’s face down……never to look years younger or ageless with that awful “work has been done” look. I always say…when someone supposedly seems to be getting younger looking…glance down at the elbows and knees. LOL I now live in CT and spend my income on many extras but the upside is I can to see my grandchildren several times a week…that’s more important than wrinkles.

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:20 pm

      You’ve nailed that one, Jan. The knees, elbows and backs of the hands, never lie. It’s all about priorities, good for you.

  26. July 26, 2017 / 9:46 am

    Darling Jennifer….I’m kind of ambivalent about the term “ageless,” personally. I think the goal is to look our very best no matter what our age might be. For me, at 64, that means retinol on my face and cream around my eyes before I go to bed, and moisturizer before I apply my makeup. And during the day – EVERY day – sunscreen (usually 50+ SPF) for me on every speck of skin exposed. I’ve not had any work done to my face, and people tell me I look 10 years younger than I am. HOWEVER…..I see the adverts for Kybella, and I must admit I’m envious. While I may have inherited Eastern European skin from my Mom’s side of the family, I also inherited jowls from BOTH my parents. I would not rule out Kybella. As for Botox and other injectibles, I just really don’t think they’re for me. But never say never!

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:18 pm

      Thanks for being honest here, Candy! I think a lot of us can relate to how you feel. Bravo for taking good care of your skin.

  27. Sandra Herman
    July 26, 2017 / 9:46 am

    I agree 110% I don’t have a problem when a woman does these things. What I do have a problem with is when they try to deny it .Other women are not blind.

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:16 pm

      No, we are not blind. Nor are we dumb. I’m annoyed when they think we are!

  28. July 26, 2017 / 9:46 am

    The quest to look ageless is so futile and such a time waster… in my opinion. And I’m with you about the women who have had “work done” and yet are praised for looking so wonderful. If there’s nothing wrong with getting “work done” why not just admit that you’ve had it done? I don’t get it, frankly. I don’t tell people that my hair colour is just me aging naturally. Sheesh. That would be silly.
    Sigh. Guess you’re not the only ones who feels like a rant about this. Let’s start a new hashtag #rageagainstthebull … 🙂

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:14 pm

      You’ve nailed this, Sue!!

  29. July 26, 2017 / 9:44 am

    PS. Interesting that Marilyn Monroe died at 36 and so did Princess Diana.

  30. July 26, 2017 / 9:43 am

    Oh, I’d never thought of that connotation. I like your personal interpretation. No, I do not think that people look in the mirror. Otherwise, we would not see the duck lips, very pudgy cheeks, and high cheekbones. I can spot it from a mile. I don’t think others can. Sometimes it looks good other times I don’t recognize a person. I guess it all comes down to how you age and what you want to see in the mirror. I’d be very anxious if I didn’t look like myself. I’ve got enough problems with facial skin cancers I don’t need more. I don’t think that others have quite the artistic eye that you have.

    • July 26, 2017 / 8:13 pm

      I’m with you Sandra! I’d be very disturbed to not look like me.

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