Does Your Hair Color Match Your Personality?

We’ve all heard of color analysis which is often broken into seasons and suggest we chose our most flattering colors based on how warm or cool our skin tone is. This is a great place to start but it’s only the tip of the iceberg. We also need to consider the intensity of our personal coloring and personality.

A mellow personality is often flattered by more subdued colors. Conversely, a vibrant and strong personality can and should wear colors that support that. Hair color is no different. Often, what Mother Nature puts on your head is in opposition to your personality.Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled Life wearing Artful Home scarf and Talbots sweater

Case in point, me.

I shared here, that I was struggling to go gray. I’d stopped coloring my hair and fully expected that my hair would grow in a gorgeous silver. I saw my stylist this week and had her cut more than usual so we could get rid of the highlights and low lights we’ve been adding for years.

It’s shorter than I like but worse, I don’t have enough gray hair! My gray is a pale silver but there’s not enough of it. It’s not clumped into a dramatic streak or silver temples, just evenly sprinkled and boring.

The older I’ve gotten the more confident and outspoken I’ve become. My hair hasn’t kept up and doesn’t match my personality. So while this is a pretty color, it’s not a reflection of the person I am or the impression I want my appearance to send about me.

I need more dimension and attitude in my hair color. I also need more texture which I achieve with the color variation of high and low lights. Texture in hair or garments reduces the appearance of texture (wrinkles) on our face.Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled Life wearing Talbots sweater

This experiment at going gray was not a failure. It was a lesson. I’m not silver enough to go natural and still feel like myself. I’ll try again in a few more years and hope the color is more striking.

Going gray or coloring your gray is not anyone’s business but your own. It is not a moral failure to cover your gray hair, nor are you superior if you choose to go gray. Our hair is an accessory and we should wear it the way we want.

Does your hair color match your personality?

Thanks for reading and have a great day!


  1. Cheryl Ann says:

    Your daughter is beautiful! I love your hair color, Jennifer. It’s lovely on you. My thoughts were along the same line last year and I didn’t have enough gray either. Gray hair can be striking on some men and women, but not me. Darn, because it would save me a lot of money! Blessings, my friend.

    1. Thanks Cheryl! I added some “gray” highlights last month which gave it oomph that my hair sorely needed. I may never have enough to go natural, according to my stylist.

  2. Jennifer, I love your hair…Your stylist is just excellent…The last side view shows the cut and color…We should all follow your advice to do what feels best for our own situation…You go girl…

    1. Thanks, Deede. She just informed me that she is retiring so I had my husband take a ton of pictures of my cut so someone can duplicate it.

  3. Julie,Melbourne,Australia says:

    Timely topic as I’ve been thinking of changing my highlights at my next appointment in a few weeks.I feel like me with my blonde highlights and I would look sallow and dull without them.Do what feels right for you Jennifer.

    1. I’m with you Julie…now if I can only get an appointment to see her.

  4. It took 3 tries before my hair became a natural silver that I love. I’m always on the quest for an edgy cut so I don’t feel frumpy.

    1. An edgy cut is so helpful at this stage! Frumpy is not a good feeling or look.

  5. Whether you color or not is a personal choice, I’m happy with my decision but it’s not for everyone. I have very fine baby like hair it’s always been this way. I colored my hair for years because it gave it more texture but my scalp too a toll because of sensitive skin. I went natural last year and I’m in love with my salt and pepper but that’s my choice. It took a few months to recognize myself in the mirror no get comfortable with makeup and clothing colors. Like fashion, hair is personal have fun with it!

    1. I totally agree Cathy. It does take time and ultimately we need to please ourselves.

  6. Cheryl Johnson says:

    You look beautiful and have confirmed my decision to stay with high/low lights! Thanks!

  7. My daughter is a hairdresser so I never have to worry about the expense or time spent. Lucky me! She did bring up the going natural route as it is now in style for even those of us who don’t need to hide the grey. Both my mother and grandmother had beautiful white hair so I am hoping I have inherited that trait. I did a lot of googling and research but in the end after a lot of soul searching decided I’m just not ready yet and at 66 not sure when that day will come. I just know that I don’t feel old and want my outside to reflect that still. I also was a brunette and never went blonde so going grey would be a drastic change for me. So for now I have added some blonde
    hi lights and see how I feel in the future. ????

  8. I know by looking at my roots that I’m not ready for the mousy brown with random silver strands that grow in. So I’ll keep highlighting and coloring for the foreseen future. It’s so uplifting to have my hair done. A lot of things would fall by the wayside before I gave that up. 🙂

    Your hair always looks great, Jennifer!

    1. Thanks Laurel. My hair was too pale to picture what it would look like without some grow out time. Now that I see it, I know it’s not my time.

  9. Hum… I love the color of your hair. Don’t know whether it agrees with your personality, but it looks wonderful with your eyes and skin tone.

    I also like your outfit. I’m a big fan of black and blue.

    1. Thanks Cathy. I actually like the color too and adore its cool taupe tones. It’s just not vibrant enough for my personality.

  10. I’ve had mine natural since retiring and it is not perfect but I like the freedom of not having to spend hours in the salon every 6 weeks and the money that I save can be spent on other things…everyone has their own ideas about hair and we live in an age where one can make choices so embracing what makes us feel good and confident is the main thing

    1. I agree Leslie. We are lucky to be living in an era where we are empowered to make our own choices. Your hair looks amazing!

  11. What a timely post. I have been letting mine grow out, too. But, instead of the gorgeous white hair of my slightly older sister, mine is exactly as yours. There are silver strands throughout and my hair just lacks life. I’m going back in for highlights and lowlights. As a previous blonde, I just feel more like myself with those lighter colours throughout. It’s all about what makes us feel our best.

  12. I love your comment “Our hair is an accessory, wear what you want.” I needed to hear this. I too have been struggling with to grey or not to grey. Like you my grey is not dramatic and I’ve been feeling vain with coloring it. Then in a rush I pulled the wrong color off the shelf and ended up with a Gypsy Princess look. Soooooo not me. I’ve done some correcting & some extreme trimming. I’m now in the “learn to be patient’ mode. I guess I have some time to decide just which way I’m going with the color. There is a reason I have well over two dozen scarfs. Thanks for these timely words of wisdom!

    1. I’m fortunate to have never colored my own hair…save that one disaster when I ended up crying on the customer service line to Clairol…for hours. Scarves are miracle tools for many reasons. I like tying mine as a do-rag which covers almost all of my hair. Hang in there Lesley…hair grows:)

  13. Susan Scott says:

    I so appreciate your thoughts on going gray. Could you share your thoughts on cosmetic surgery? I know this is personal for all of us as we age and although I don’t like the appearance of my neck or winkles, I don’t plan to have surgery. I do therefore like your skin recommendations. Would you share if you had surgery?
    Thanks for all you do to help us look our best.

    1. I will always be honest here. My mother had a complete face and neck lift when she was 2 years younger than I am now. I nursed her through it. She initially looked scary and too tight, which she loved. As time went on things loosened and she looked amazing!! Uh..mazing! I both wish I could afford a facelift and not sure I’m brave enough to have one. My neck bothers me the most and like many, I often pull it back in the mirror and wonder what if. I am trying some topical things for now and will share my results here. If I ever resort to cosmetic surgery I will be honest and share it with you all because life is too short for anything less.

  14. I’m trying the natural gray, but the jury is still out. I think the most important thing is to find a great hairdresser that you can trust and have honest conversations along your journey. I just had my latest hair appointment two days ago and it was the first time we didn’t add any color at all. Previously we had added color to targeted areas only and were letting the rest do it’s natural thing. I’m not sure I will like the texture or the color when all of the high/low lights grow out, BUT the good news is, like Jennifer said, I can always go back to coloring.

    1. Yes!! Thank goodness we have options. Leave yours open and do what makes you feel confident.

  15. I really appreciate your openness and forthrightness. I am 70 and have hair like yours in terms of quantity and type. My natural colour is mousey brown and I have been colouring my hair for many years with light auburn mostly. The colouring really helps with the texture and body. I still only have a small amount of grey at the temples, so I only have to colour about every 2 months.My mother didn’t go grey until well into her 80’s and ended up a gorgeous silver at age 101. But she also had very thick curly dark hair.
    There should be no medals for going grey just like there are no medals for wearing eye shadow. Empowered people do their own thing.

    1. I adore your analogy, Sue!! Thanks for sharing it. There are no medals for doing anything other than being kind and making ourselves happy.

  16. Janice may says:

    I shaved my head a few years ago. I now sport a salt and pepper look that is now managed by a barber at $15 a cut. I felt such a relief to no longer style and maintain the hair styles.
    It’s not for everyone, but I love it!

  17. I have struggled with this question for years! I was very blonde as a child, but of course it grew darker as I got older. I started coloring it (blonde again!) in high school and have never looked back. In looking at my gray hair, it looks like a pretty silver in front and a very dull brown/gray in back. Not ready for that look yet….so I stay with basically a honey blond with high and lowlights…

  18. I agree with what everyone says above…do what makes you happy. I’m happier being a blonde. Even as my color starts to fade as I get close to my next appointment, I feel I look tired and older. Speaking of color fade, does anyone have a favorite shampoo to help with that?

    1. I use Pureology Hydrate and it keeps my color from fading so far. It’s purple and may be formulated for blondes…not sure. But I love it. And the conditioner, too. They’re pricey but you don’t need much…they last a long time.

      1. Thank you, I will try that!

    2. I love the bluing shampoos. I know there are shampoos that deposit color. I’ll look into it more for us.

  19. Fantastic cut!! Perfect color!! You made the right decision to wait ongoing gray!! You look adorable!!

    1. Carol Gilber says:

      I agree 100%. You look great as a blonde. Don’t mess with perfection!

  20. I love reading these comments on going gray. I’m 68 so I felt that I should give it a try besides I had colored for so long that I wanted to see how much gray there really was. I tried for one year telling myself that when it evens out I will like it. Well, it never did even out. The top of my head is almost white, but I have two bands circling my head of my natural dark brown hair that are not gray yet. I did not like anything about my gray hair. I felt washed out. The gray hair frizzed when I used styling tools. It was limp. I felt old not proud. My mother’s hair was a lovely shade of silvery white when she was my age so maybe I will get there in a few more years. But for now I’m coloring and highlighting.

    1. You gave it the old college try and lasted longer than I did Diane. Washed out is not a confident feeling. Keep doing what makes you feel amazing…life is too short to otherwise.

  21. I don’t like grey on me, so I color with highlights. I have curly hair but recently had my stylist flat iron it. It’s so much fun to try new looks. I think a woman should do whatever makes her feel good!

    Love your cut and color!!

    1. Mine just introduced me to a flat iron too! I would have never thought onewas an option for someone with straight hair so I never say never.

  22. This is a beautiful cut and color for you. I don’t think I will ever stop coloring my hair. If my hair looks good I feel good. Sometimes the maintenance is frustrating but the result is worth it. My 92 year old mother still colors her hair and looks great,

    1. Go for it Monicar! I am prepared to put in the time required for my maintenance because it makes me feel confident. If it includes hair color…so be it.

  23. My opinion on hair color is firm: do whatever you want, there’s no right or wrong! If you think gray looks good on you, do it. If you prefer color, do that. I like my hair better colored. I like the texture better and I like the contrast with my skin tone. But my advice is, you do you. Confidence looks good on everyone!

  24. I think there are two options: Be natural (even if you color, you stick to your natural shade and just tweak a little) or go crazy. I have nothing for admiration for the women of all ages who have pink, green or purple hair. (In fact, women of the retirement age seem the most likely to have fun–those still working worry about looking professional and those who are younger have to deal with parental approval. I am amazed by all the vibrantly coiffed women of a certain age I pass in town.)
    Failure strikes when we try to be something we are not. If we’re not really artsy or eccentric (like me, boring), maybe purple hair won’t feel right. But even if we’re of a classic bent and go for a color that’s too strong or strident–one that’s in battle with our natural coloring–our image won’t win.
    Menopause is so similar to puberty: our bodies change, so does our hair and our skin…. Our changing hair can be an excuse to experiment–after all, you can always change it and at worst wait for it to grow out.
    I think your hair looks great. The color and style are flattering.

    1. Such wise comments! We have to be true to ourselves and that can be a challenge for some. I would love to dye my hair blue…but I’m not sure I would like it longer than 2 days.

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