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Monday Musings- Kindness Matters

Happy Monday ladies. I have many things on my mind this week, not the least of which is kindness. This past year has been a strain on everyone and many of us are showing the signs of stress that often sneak out of the little cracks in our composure. We all need to treat ourselves with greater compassion because kindness matters and that extends to the way we treat others.

power of kindness sign

You can’t know what someone’s life is like until you have walked a day in their shoes. Everything may look hunky-dory on the outside yet be a hotbed of pain on the inside.

My Saturday would you wear it posts are very popular with many ladies and not so much for others. I get it! That’s human nature. We’re not going to all like the same things. That’s why they make so many flavors of ice cream. But not liking something doesn’t give you permission to say something that hurts another woman’s feelings.

 

Working online has exposed me to more than my fair share of keyboard warriors. These are the folks who hide behind a veil of anonymity and strike out with their words. They’re the mean girls from our youth, all grown up to be mean women.

I admit I’m that person who has a hard time keeping her opinion to herself because…well…I know everything. Just ask my husband. But I always strive to temper my words and have compassion. I’m asking you to please do the same.

I want this to be a safe, supportive place for women to express their opinions. Some comments crossed over into hostile territory on Saturday and seriously offended other readers.

If you feel that strongly about something, get your own blog and spew your negativity there. Or better yet, head over to Facebook… there’s tons of negativity there.

I won’t tolerate women criticizing other women here on AWSL and that extends to their taste in fashion. Ladies don’t come here to be insulted by other women. If you absolutely hate what the mannequin is wearing and can’t comment as it relates to you, hit exit and go on to your next email. We’ll catch you next time.

I have never had to turn moderation on for every comment and don’t plan to start now. We’re adults and if you can’t play nice in this sandbox, go home.

The term old lady, grandma, and granny were tossed around in a derogatory way. I ask you, what’s wrong with being a granny?

Related – Why Granny Panties aka Full-Cut Briefs Are The Best Over 50

Just for the record, I am that (sometimes) sweet old granny who started her own business from scratch in my 50’s. I’m a solo entrepreneur who works upwards of 10 hours a day to keep it afloat and help support my family.

I go on cruises when I can, and if someone asked me to play shuffleboard, I would. I also played Bingo when we could. Does that make me inconsequential and worthy of derisive comments? Not in my mind and my readers don’t deserve it either.

I will be trying a new format here this week and hope I can keep the “mannequins” because I usually find it a lot of fun.

Take care of yourselves, be kind and most of all, wear what makes you feel confident, no matter what other people think.

xo Jennifer

 

 

 

 

 

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128 Comments

  1. Amy Weiner
    February 28, 2021 / 3:14 pm

    Every Sunday, I catch up on AWSL to get a relaxing break and discover ways I can try new things in fashion. I have enjoyed your blog because you write it from the heart, and you seem like a very kind person. Your words have encouraged me to try new things and try to find the best in everyone including myself. The Would You Wear It? posts are fun and often show items that I might consider trying. I rarely post, but I wanted to let you know how much I have enjoyed reading your posts each week and that they make a difference in my life! Thank you!

  2. Mary Beth
    February 26, 2021 / 5:19 am

    Your blog brings a smile every day! I have particularly enjoyed looking at fashion from a different perspective and through different eyes. I especially appreciated your comment about “mean girls”. Life is certainly too short to spend effort and time on negativity! Jennifer, thank you for the bright spot in my inbox every morning!

  3. Joanne
    February 24, 2021 / 6:36 pm

    I really enjoy the “Would you wear it” posts and hope you’ll keep them. Please don’t let the mean people change what you do. You were right to call them out. I hope it makes people think twice about what they post.

  4. Susan Gowan
    February 24, 2021 / 6:04 pm

    Sorry I missed last Saturday’s blog. I like seeing the mabnequins ansmd I comment from time to time. As a Granny of almost 5 littles, I strive to be fun, stylish and casually comfortable. I enjoy seeing the fashion choices you present as well as the comments as long as they are civil. Thanks for taking a stand on the derogatory remarks. One of the things I like about your blog as that you won’t stand for mranness ir disrespect. Bravo to you!

  5. Denise M Withrow
    February 23, 2021 / 6:24 pm

    I am commenting on Saturday’s posts,referring to Would You Wear It? I love your blog and I look forward to reading it everyday. I appreciate all the hard work you put into this blog. It is ashamed,there are always some people who are just not very nice, especially when it comes to expressing themselves. Keep up the good work!

  6. Kat
    February 23, 2021 / 3:01 pm

    I subscribe to get your posts in my email and read everyone. I never comment however. I love the mannequin posts as I rarely go in store shopping right now. I miss touching fabrics and trying on clothing. . The posts help me live the experience vicariously. Please don’t stop posting. I would miss the opportunity to “shop”. The platforms we are communicating in for some reason lifts inhibitions and people often say horrendous things.

  7. Carla Mahaney
    February 23, 2021 / 10:33 am

    Very well said, Jennifer. It’s unfortunate that you even needed to.

  8. Maggie
    February 23, 2021 / 7:39 am

    I am a 70 year “old lady” who, unfortunately, may never have the pleasure of being a grandmother. I support your effort to promote kindness but I was surprised at some of your responses to some comments that mentioned granny or grandma. I did not perceive these comments as mean or insulting. In fact, I thought your responses could be perceived as hurtful by the commenters. The foil outfit reminded me immediately of the Golden Girls, not an insult. It looks very comfortable but not current, in my opinion. I just moved to Arizona and tend more to comfortable boho. My fashionable 80 year old sister-in-law in San Diego would probably love it. I guess what we consider fashionable is influenced a lot by trends where we live and by whom we associate with. Please remember that some commentators may not be as articulate or descriptive as others. I have avoided joining Facebook so I have been somewhat insulated from a great deal of negativity. I enjoy your blog postings and the comments from your devoted readers, even those who comment that a particular outfit would be suitable for an old lady or granny.

  9. Kay
    February 22, 2021 / 11:05 pm

    I thought the tone from Saturday was odd. Usually all of us here support each other’s choices. A couple of things: shuffleboard does still exist on the cruise ships, and my teenage grandsons love to play it. I tell people that grandchildren are God’s compensation for old age, so the fact that I’m an old grandmother is a privilege and a joy! I still sashay around in my “restrained boho” style, and I’m happy about it. Poor sourpusses who are afraid of being old! What’s the alternative, hmm?

  10. Sheilah Howard
    February 22, 2021 / 10:37 pm

    Well said, Jennifer!

  11. Anne T
    February 22, 2021 / 7:30 pm

    I must say it breaks my heart to read that women took precious time to hurt another. Our lives are so precious. Women have to be tough because life is so challenging, but that is exactly why we need to support each other with kindness. Ladies, we have enough critics and measures to live up to, so please give kindness instead, especially when our hearts are hurting. Ladies, you are the glue to life.

  12. Lin
    February 22, 2021 / 7:10 pm

    Jennifer, I so appreciate your blog and feel very sorry that some turn opinions into personal attacks.
    Thank you for drawing attention to how words can hurt.
    I am sure this will make people think twice about how they express there feelings about said subjects.
    Love your mannequins and dressing room dairies.
    Thank you for being a little joy to my day.

  13. Linda Daspit
    February 22, 2021 / 6:50 pm

    You go girl! Keep doing what you are doing. I love all your posts, and they are so helpful as the years and pounds creep up. It is very sad that at this particular time in all our lives, some would blurt out something nasty without thinking. There is a major epidemic of blurting nowadays unfortunately. What happened to “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything”?

    Keep posting and best wishes to you!

  14. Cynthia
    February 22, 2021 / 6:32 pm

    I actually loved the foil-decorated top and wish now that I had commented on it. I did not see it as “old-lady” or “grandma” style, but then I am 70 and a grandmother! I would certainly wear this outfit and I consider myself quite stylish. I agree with others who have said that if you have nothing constructive or positive to say, be quiet! I do hope you continue these posts, Jennifer, because I find them interesting and useful.

  15. Janis
    February 22, 2021 / 5:33 pm

    In a world where we can be anything, BE NICE. Keep up the great work, Jennifer.

  16. Anne
    February 22, 2021 / 5:25 pm

    I am just going to admit to leaving the comment about the shuffle board contest on the cruise. I am so sorry to have hurt anyone’s feelings! Everyone needs to dress in clothing in which they feel attractive and also feels comfortable. I do not look very fashionable so am in no position to criticize others. So I will apologize again . Hope you are all having a great Monday. Jennifer, I enjoy your blog and hope you will not kick me as out as a Mean girl”!

    • beth byrd
      February 23, 2021 / 5:41 am

      Anne, that is very nice and brave of you to apologize … I’m sure that you didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings!!

    • Jennifer
      Author
      February 23, 2021 / 10:55 am

      Dear Anne, That is very sweet of you to speak up. I had received many, many emails from ladies who were hurt and insulted by comments being made on the post so I jumped in like Superman and should have waited to calm down. My only excuse is having been distracted by the virtual memorial I had attended for a girlfriend that morning, which of course, is no excuse at all. I apologize if I hurt you, that was not my intent.

    • Lori
      February 23, 2021 / 11:59 am

      Shuffleboard can be fun! I played on a cruise ship at the age of 34 with my kids. You should try it sometime. 🙂

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