Monday Musings- Kindness Matters
Happy Monday ladies. I have many things on my mind this week, not the least of which is kindness. This past year has been a strain on everyone and many of us are showing the signs of stress that often sneak out of the little cracks in our composure. We all need to treat ourselves with greater compassion because kindness matters and that extends to the way we treat others.
You can’t know what someone’s life is like until you have walked a day in their shoes. Everything may look hunky-dory on the outside yet be a hotbed of pain on the inside.
My Saturday would you wear it posts are very popular with many ladies and not so much for others. I get it! That’s human nature. We’re not going to all like the same things. That’s why they make so many flavors of ice cream. But not liking something doesn’t give you permission to say something that hurts another woman’s feelings.
Working online has exposed me to more than my fair share of keyboard warriors. These are the folks who hide behind a veil of anonymity and strike out with their words. They’re the mean girls from our youth, all grown up to be mean women.
I admit I’m that person who has a hard time keeping her opinion to herself because…well…I know everything. Just ask my husband. But I always strive to temper my words and have compassion. I’m asking you to please do the same.
I want this to be a safe, supportive place for women to express their opinions. Some comments crossed over into hostile territory on Saturday and seriously offended other readers.
If you feel that strongly about something, get your own blog and spew your negativity there. Or better yet, head over to Facebook… there’s tons of negativity there.
I won’t tolerate women criticizing other women here on AWSL and that extends to their taste in fashion. Ladies donāt come here to be insulted by other women. If you absolutely hate what the mannequin is wearing and can’t comment as it relates to you, hit exit and go on to your next email. We’ll catch you next time.
I have never had to turn moderation on for every comment and don’t plan to start now. We’re adults and if you can’t play nice in this sandbox, go home.
The term old lady, grandma, and granny were tossed around in a derogatory way. I ask you, what’s wrong with being a granny?
Related – Why Granny Panties aka Full-Cut Briefs Are The Best Over 50
Just for the record, I am that (sometimes) sweet old granny who started her own business from scratch in my 50’s. I’m a solo entrepreneur who works upwards of 10 hours a day to keep it afloat and help support my family.
I go on cruises when I can, and if someone asked me to play shuffleboard, I would. I also played Bingo when we could. Does that make me inconsequential and worthy of derisive comments? Not in my mind and my readers don’t deserve it either.
I will be trying a new format here this week and hope I can keep the “mannequins” because I usually find it a lot of fun.
Take care of yourselves, be kind and most of all, wear what makes you feel confident, no matter what other people think.
xo Jennifer
Jennifer, I read your post today and it brought tears to my eyes. On Saturday, I read every post. To be quite frank, I didnāt find the posts insulting. Iām 77. My husband and I donāt have children so I donāt have the ultimate pleasure of being called āa grannyā.
My take on these posts from Saturday is that this was a general term used to denote an old fashioned look. To all intents and purposes, these days of COVID when I canāt go out, I wear the most comfortable clothes I can find….most itās a pair of sweat pants and one of my husbandās cast off oversized t-shirts! I guess these ladies would say I had a granny look! Iām completely comfortable and thatās what counts!
Wearing what works for you is what counts.
Thank you for this post, and for your continuous work to make it a safe place.
As an example, Cup of Joe manages not-so-kind behavior by (almost) immediately replying to the reader receiving the āhateā with supportive words and kindness. Itās impressive and clearly sends a message to others of not tolerating not-so-kind behavior.
Thank you again for your blog and for the helpful and informative information you share.š
As another granny, I commend your words here. Well written, and oh, so true. Let’s be kind.
I appreciate that this is a blog where differences can be shared, and I’m glad you addressed the negativity, Jennifer. It certainly is not fun having to read other’s
comments coming from a mean place. There’s enough of that going on. Kudos for having the integrity and tenacity to address it here.
Hi Jennifer,
I appreciate you sharing your style and wisdom. Unfortunately I have seen several bloggers post these types of blog posts recently, even turning off comments because of so much negativity. The pandemic is bringing out the worst in people, or maybe just their true colors are showing. Either way there is no excuse for it. Thank you and keep shining!
Saturday’s blog left me studying my closet. What pieces would get rehomed?! Love your comment to wear what inspires confidence! So happy we can delight in individuality.
Very well said but so sad that you have to remind people to be nice to each other. If you have a negative or rude comment that comes in your head, move on. No one needs to hear it. Keep doing what you are doing! Love your blog! š
What a great post. I agree wholeheartedly.
Well said Jennifer!!
Loved this post so much truth in it.
Pandemic stress has me…and most ….. saying things better not said!
Thanks, Jennifer for your reminder !
It is a good practice to write a comment then PAUSE then reread it to see if it is kind and necessary!
I’m New to your blog and am enjoying it very much. I normally dont comment and did not read the comments from sat. But your blog today was very well said. Sometimes we are too sensitive and interpret things in a negative manner. Easy to do when we aren’t hearing the tone of voice or seeing the body language of the commenter. I always try to look on the positive side, as I eliminated negativity back in my early 60s. Pushing 70 now, but 70 is the new 50 and blessed with good health, so not slowing down. Love the blog keep up the great work.
Thank you!
It is important to be supportive of one another!
Attacking me or another because we thought an outfit was beautiful enough to wear just shows me how insecure you are in your own skin.
We are all the flowers of the field here and as such, we are all beautiful no matter what we are wearing!
We must support each other on our journeys and celebrate the differences as well as the. Similarities
Well said and thank you for all you do!
Thank you Jennifer for pointing out that certain terms can be hurtful to some readers. I am a āgrannyā and love fashion! Again, not all styles appeal to everyone. Age is just a number! Keep showings a variety of fashion. It is fun to see all the styles. Love your posts
I must admit that I haven’t seen the comments on Saturdays post. I very rarely comment on any subject but I agree with you about being polite to others. I am of the ‘if you can’t say anything nice,then don’t say anything at all ‘camp . If others are hurt by remarks then you are right to raise the issue. Thank you,I enjoy your posts, sometimes the clothes appeal to me and sometimes they don’t – if we all liked the same things,the world would be very boring!!
Jenifer, thank you so much for speaking out and reminding everyone, that our tastes are not always the same. I enjoy your mannequin posts. I always look at them and if it is something I would not wear because it doesnāt work on my body shape or just isnāt to my liking, I simply move on. Stress shows its ugly head in many ways. Please continue, we do enjoy your blogs.
Another person thanking you for speaking up. Yes, people are on a short fuse after a year of lockdown, but that’s a reason to be more kind than usual.
Thank you very much. If it is one thing I have learned during this time and it is life is way to short and precious. You don’t know what someone else is going through and if we all spread kindness wherever we can, to whoever we can what a nice place this would be. Life is truly a team sport.
On another note, keep the mannequins, I haven’t been in a store for a year and I live vicariously in that regard(shopping which I do miss although packages in the mail are a nice surprise too).
Well said Jennifer! Your stance is courageous and what I believe demonstrates the meaning of grace and maturity, which are ageless constructs.
Thank you for speaking up, Jennifer. It’s a shame some people feel the need to be unkind. We are so much better when we support each other and lift each other up!
Spot on.
Thank you for reminding us to be kind! My mother would meow like a cat when she would hear my sisters and I gossiping and I still hear her saying āif you have nothing nice to say, donāt say it at all.ā
I rarely leave a comment, but just wanted to say thank you. I try to live by my Momās words āif you canāt say something nice, donāt say anything at all.ā Love your blog.
Well said- thank you!
Thank you Jennifer! Your blog is my favorite of all that I subscribe. Canāt wait for your hair styling tutorial.
Jennifer, The anonymity of the internet makes it easier for unpleasant people to spew vituperative thoughts, ideas and words with abandon. I’m in awe of anyone such as yourself who meets mean people and behavior head on. It’s a scary, dispiriting by-product of maintaining an online presence. You and your positive attitude are doing a bang-up job of showing us how it’s done with style.
Thanks.
Linda J
Jennifer, thank you for this blog today and your continued hard work. I was taught, many many years ago, that if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all !
I believe most of your readers are 50+. Isnāt it a shame you have to remind ladies to be ladies. I see so much hate in life, be it politics or differences in beliefs. Respect for each other seems to be in short supply. Letās use Jenniferās blog as a safe fun place to see new fashion without leaving our homes. I enjoy the mannequins & your pictures in dressing rooms. Jennifer & I are built very differently but the things you wear together gives me ideas. I always check out the mannequins in the stores. Some I wouldnāt wear if they were free, but it still gives me ideas & a look into the trends for the new season. Letās all be friends and help each other in these difficult times. Life is short.
Jennifer
Please donāt stop the mannequin post as I really look forward to seeing whatās out thereš It seems in situations that a few will ruin it for the majority, donāt give them that powerš Iāve learned over the years that you will never pull a negative person up, they will try to pull you down.
Thank youš