Monday Musings: Some Things Are Too Precious Not To Wear
Our escape to a cooler climate was shorter than we wanted. Sausalito was as charming as ever, and it was fabulous to visit with my sister-in-law.
The weather is always a bit unpredictable by the water, so I’m glad I tucked this Jackie cardigan into my bag. The terry is just enough for breezes, but I didn’t overheat because I could unbutton it.
We had a lovely dinner and catch-up, but on the second morning, I had to bail on our trip and head home.
The root canal I’d had redone on Thursday wasn’t as “effortless” as I’d hoped. I’ve never had to redo a root canal, so I didn’t know what to expect, but I can report from the trenches that an abscess in your cheekbone is not fun.
What We Decide Is Worth Keeping
After our conversation last week, I suddenly remembered two family rings I’d tucked into a safe-deposit box years ago and nearly forgotten.
As a child, I remember my mother wearing her wedding band that had a row of three small diamonds. On each side, she wore two narrow bands of small diamonds separated by sapphires. One had belonged to my granny and the other to my great-granny.
My granny was nice, but she lived across the country, and we didn’t see each other much. I only met my great-granny once, and she seemed a bit intimidating.
The rings passed to my mom, who treasured them, then they passed to me, and I seldom wore them because a jeweler told me they were very fragile.
About 25 years ago, I noticed that one of the prongs looked loose, so I took the rings to a local jeweler. I wanted to have the stones reset into a stronger setting so I could wear them without worrying about losing one.
He told me the stones were old, the cuts were out of fashion, and they weren’t worth much. He convinced me they weren’t worth the expense of resetting, so I put them in the safe-deposit box and left them there until last week, when I rediscovered them.
When I slipped them onto my finger, I thought about all the life that had been lived wearing those rings, and I wanted to add some of my own.
It struck me that 20 years ago, I’d allowed the jeweler to decide what these rings were worth to me. At 70, I’m far less willing to let someone else make that decision. I’m also much harder to talk out of my own opinions, which may be one of the better parts of aging.
It strikes me how easily society equates newer with better and older with diminished worth. Age does not diminish value. And yet our culture has a bad habit of treating older women as though it does.
The old-fashioned cuts don’t bother me. They’re part of the rings’ history and part of what makes them meaningful to me. These rings have been worn by generations of women in my family, and their value isn’t in the cost of the gems. It’s in their history.
I’m going to have them repaired or reset so I can wear them.
If I eventually lose a stone, at least it will happen because I was enjoying the rings. Precious pieces need to be worn, not kept perfectly safe until we die and pass them along to someone else.
Do you have a piece of family jewelry that isn’t especially valuable on paper but means something to you? Do you wear it, or is it still tucked away somewhere?
Answers to your questions:
Q – With so many shades of brown showing up this fall, should we adjust our usual lipstick, blush, or eye makeup when wearing brown instead of our usual black or navy? And which eyeliner and eyeshadow shades work best with fair skin, blue eyes, and gray hair?
A – Our makeup should make us look healthy and alive, not match our clothes. Changing it to coordinate with brown can leave us looking sallow. Keep wearing the lipstick, blush, and eye makeup that bring your face to life, then choose clothing in shades of brown that flatter your coloring. Cooler skin tones may look better in grayed taupes and ashy browns, while warmer skin tones can often carry richer, golden browns. Here are some cool-based browns and taupes:
Q – When using the one-third/two-thirds rule of dressing, do we measure from the top of the head or from the shoulders?
A – The measurement starts at your shoulders. The rule applies to the proportions of your outfit, so we don’t include the head. It’s more of a visual guide than an exact measurement. I explain it in more detail, with examples, in my article on the rule of thirds for outfits.
Q – I’m seeing so many short cardigans in stores, carrying over from summer into fall. What are some different ways to style them?
A – Short cardigans are a great layering piece because they create that shorter one-third proportion we were just talking about. I love to wear mine over a longer top because it stops the eye at your waist, without having to tuck anything in. Their length is also perfect with fuller bottoms like midi skirts and the wide-leg pants we’re seeing everywhere. Short cardigans also great over a dress, or you can button it closed and wear as a top on its own.
Q- How can we dress for fall and winter in a warm climate like Southwest Florida? Should we wear traditional fall colors in lightweight fabrics, continue wearing brighter summer colors, and are white pants appropriate year-round in Florida?
A- This is really personal choice, but if you want to wear fall colors, do it in lighter weight fabrics. Dress for the temperature, not the calendar. but there’s no reason to retire the brighter colors that make you look and feel good.
And yes, wear your white pants year-round. Florida doesn’t suddenly become New England because the calendar says October.
Thanks for reading and being part of our community.
When my mother went into care and we started to pack up her home, I found a small jewelry case shaped like a little flat hat. inside was a ring I had never seen before. When I asked my mother where it came from she said it was her mother’s engagement ring. I now wear that ring together with mum’s eternity ring all the time. My grandmother’s ring it over 100years old and I treasure it.
That’s so special!
I had my mother’s wedding band reset to fit my right hand. When my grandson got married, he gave that ring to his wife. I love that it is being worn and loved again. My severe arthritis prevents me from wearing rings now. My own wedding band gets worn on a gold chain that my husband gave me 30 years ago around my neck.
Antique rings are wonderful! I use my great grandmother’s ring as my engagement ring because I like the old mine cut and gold filigree. I too had a jeweler sniff that the cut was inferior to a brilliant cut but ignored him 45 years ago. Glad I did! I had to get the prongs repaired recently but was a small price to pay for a ring I’ve been wearing daily for decades !
I wish I’d ignored that jeweler who told me not to fix the prongs!
I’ve heard jewelers do that to get bargains on gems and metal and resell at an inflated price, especially with diamonds. Good for you.
And last week my Book Club was shocked that I wore white pants in a warm, post-labor day meeting. I said that one peeson made the No White after Labor Day rule and I wasn’t going to listen to it!! Feel better soon.
Yay! It’s an antiquated rule I’ve ignored for years.
I am a brand new follower of AWSL and am so enjoying your postings! I live in the mid-west but grew up in SF and the Bay Area. A sister-in-law lives close to Sausalito, in Kentfield. Still having warm feelings for my home state, and the roses I grew, I saw one post where you were pictured with your Hubby’s roses, and I wondered where? … Contra Costa, Santa Clara, both get hot in late summer beckoning escape. In my 80’s now, I still am very active and love comfortable, simple and casual clothing. Looking forward to more of your enjoyable and informative posts!
Welcome!! I’m so glad you’ve joined us. Felt free to email me if you have any questions you’d like me to cover.
Your post is bang on! I just decided I had old family jewellery that I hadn’t worn for awhile and just got it out and have been enjoying because of the memories of my loved ones and remembering them wearing the items. Thx for this.
Xo
I love older jewelry much more than new. I have my mother’s original wedding ring from 1945. I always loved it. When I received it, it was missing one of the rubies. I had it replaced but it fell out. I wear it all the time. I also have the ring my daddy had made for her on their 25th wedding anniversary. It has one larger diamond (from my brother’s engagment that didn’t make it to a wedding) and 24 smaller diamonds. I wear it on special occassions. My husband gave me his grandmother’s original wedding rings when we were married 31 years ago. His grandmother was engaged when she meet his grandfather. She broke off the engagment but the guy told her to keep the ring. So his grandfather just bought a wedding ring. My mother-in-law passed away 22 years ago and all her jewelry was just left in jewelry boxes. My father-in-law passed away this spring, I now have all kinds of jewelry that belonged to them. I have a lot of vintage jewelry from the 20’s. I have decided I will wear as many or as few as I want at the same time. I love being 80 and now caring what other people think.
Bravo!! I love your attitude Linda. You’re so lucky to have them.
Hi Jennifer, yep you should give that jeweler the boot. Keep and use that beautiful ring set. It is something precious handed down from your granny. Regarding last week’s post, I hope you were able to get the blog kinks worked out. I’m noticing that my comments are not appearing. Wondering if others have had that issue?
We are still working out the kinks Karen. Thanks for letting me know.
I have worn my mother’s engagement ring since she died in 1980. I loved it as a child and I still do now, cherishing it and her memory. I have never had it appraised. I really don’t care what value other’s place on it.
One sapphire and two diamonds, square cut.
Sorry about the root canal. I hope you get some relief soon!
The ring is such a treasure and you’re so blessed to have it!
Jennifer, definitely wear the rings or have them reset into something new. I love the tradition of passing down jewelry to the next generation. I recently gave my wedding ring and other vintage (1980’s) jewelry to my niece who is getting married next year. I designed my wedding ring so it is quite unique – I didn’t want a traditional engagement ring and band. She is either going to have it enlarged or designed into something new – both with my blessing. I love the idea that something I cherished for many years will now be worn by her. My sister (her mother) passed away in 2021, and I don’t have children, so this feels right.
That’s such a beautiful thing to do Yvonne. I love your story.
Thank you, Jennifer, and all of you who commented before me, for reminding me to take out meaningful jewelry and wear it. We take a lot for granted in life, and need to remember to honor all the sentiments and time and thought and investment that our loved ones put into those special pieces, whether they were given to us as gifts directly (by loving husbands, children, parents, friends) or passed to us from others.. Appreciate the reminder!
Hi Jennifer,
Your post so resonated with me today! I wear my grandmother’s ring-Evie- which my mother gave me about ten years ago out of the blue. I never knew either of my grandmothers’ and I treasure wearing this ring as my mother says I am very like her. It is a square sapphire cut surrounded by tiny diamonds on a silver band probably bought mid to late 1920’s. I did have it cleaned by a jeweler and checked for stones care and he was very impressed by the workmanship and the meticulous detail of the cluster diamonds. I wear it every day and take it off only when gardening or lifting weights and one day I will give it to my daughter. Evie sailed on a ship to India from England to get married in the late 1920’s where my grandfather was working at the time. She did not know him that well and so it was very much a leap for her leaving everything she knew. Brave lady!
She sounds remarkable and you’re so lucky to have her ring.
I love that you are wearing your rings. I have my mom’s beautiful wedding ring set but I have to wear a hinged ring now because of arthritis. I also have a diamond Bulova watch that’s really fragile but I do wear it on special occasions. My husband passed recently but I still wear my ring with Sapphires and diamonds. I have had a root canal go bad too, really painful, take care.
A hinged back is brilliant!!
Thank you for pointing out cool browns! It is so helpful to be able to identify appropriate shades when we are flooded with so many chestnut and warmer browns!
My pleasure. Those are the ones I like leaning into.
I have my mother’s engagement ring from 1943. It’s a tiny center diamond with diamond chips on the side. Obviously in this day and age way out of style. But I had it set between two channel set bands to protect it. One band represents my 15th wedding anniversary and the other my 60th birthday. I wore it regularly until arthritis arrived and my knuckles expanded. I still do wear it occasionally for short periods and will pass it on to my only granddaughter.
Amazing!
My mother passed away 50 years ago. My stepfather gave away all her belongings and my sister and I got nothing, except for a ring each, which my grandmother had put aside. The ring I inherited is gold with two pearls in an s-shaped setting. I’ve kept the ring in a safe deposit box until two months ago, when I decided it was time to start wearing it. I had it stretched to my size and cleaned and now get to enjoy a ring I know my mother loved. What was I waiting for?
I’m so happy to hear that!
Wear your rings and enjoy their history. Ignore the quite frankly dismissive remarks of the jeweller who made you put them to one side for so long. How rude and thoughtless of him. I always wear my mother’s engagement ring alongside my own and have quite a collection of other rings inherited from my grandmother and great aunt I love them all It isn’t all about monetary value. Old rose cut diamonds aren’t as sparkly but they are still beautiful.
Yes!
I love those two diamond/sapphire rings. Frankly, I think your jeweler misled you. I am so glad you’ll get them reset and wear them.
He sure did, and I was young enough to let him. With age comes wisdom and a lot more great things.
Please let us know what the dermatologist says about your hair thinning. Each week, when I clean my brushes, I am disturbed about the amount of hair I have lost.
Your two rings would make wonderful hoop earrings. It doesn’t seem like that remodel would take much effort and it would not disturb the stones. I’ve had two bad experiences with having prongs replaced or repaired at reputable jewelers.
Hope you are feeling better.
I’m seeing her this week. I’ll let you know.
Wear the jewelry! Beautiful rings and need to be enjoyed.
I totally agree
On the subject of your grandmother’s rings. How about wearing them on a pretty necklace chain? Just a thought. They are very precious.
That would work. But I’ve got to get the prongs checked again.
I am so sorry to hear about your tooth. This must be the year for root canals and painful abscesses. I recently had a filling and a new crown. Then I developed an abscess and a swollen face and scheduled a root canal that was delayed for a week. I have never experienced pain like the pre-root canal pain.
And re: jewelry, I have bought good pieces made by a local jeweler occasionally for 30+ years and wore them only for special occasions. I realized how foolish that was and now wear pieces every day. They are real but rather simple and I am finally comfortable wearing them daily. And your wise decision goes along with my new “if not now, when?” philosophy!
Ouch, I’m sorry to hear about your tooth. Dental pain is no joke.
Sausalito is one of my old stomping grounds. I used to go to a little button store there which had buttons from all over the world in my sewing days.
I make it a point to wear the jewelry passed onto me from my Nana and mother.
I did have an old diamond ring with a vintage cut. I had the jeweler use the 1 carat diamond to make a diamond necklace which I wear now and love it!
How cool! I am running out of fingers, so I may need to do that with some things.
I inherited pink cameo earrings from my grandmother, but they had non-pierced ear backs on them. I took them to a jeweler who changed the backs for me. I told him that they probably weren’t worth anything, and he agreed, but said “they are worth everything to you so wear and enjoy them!”.
What a fabulous piece of advice
I have a similar ring from my mom, which she received from my dad, with rubies and I wear it often. I had my dad’s ruby ring, a gift from my mom to him, reset into a more feminine style and spent way too much money. Both rings bring me comfort when I wear them and I also think of all the fond memories.
If you love them, spending the money to reset them is worth it.
Hello Jennifer, your Grandmother and great- Grandmother rings are beautiful. I have a ring almost identical although not as old. I wear it everyday. It is comfortable, my birthstone and a gift from my husband years ago. Have the prongs strengthened and have wonderful memories everytime you wear them! Love your articles
Thanks Debbie
I have 2 rings that were my great aunt’s, who I loved. One is jade and the other is a cameo. They were in my mother’s jewelry drawer when I was growing up and I used to go into the drawer when she wasn’t around and try them on. She gave them to me years ago. I treasure them and wear them now and then. I think of them when I do. Their value is in the memories they bring to me and you can’t put a dollar amount on that.
Exactly!! I love your story
Dear Jennifer, so sorry to hear about post root canal complications. The same thing happened to my hubby. 😐
How wonderful that you are planning to repair and wear your beautiful heirloom rings! Who cares what the jeweler says!
About a year ago I took all my old and out of date jewelry to a jeweler and had them reset or cashed in for profit. I love my resulting new jewelry made from that hideous cocktail ring and diamond watch but I turned over one ring I now wish I had kept. Be sure to think every piece over before you commit but do wear or reuse that old jewelry!
Great point. I did that several years ago and wish I’d kept a piece or two.
When our mother died in hospice, my sister and I held hands at her bedside. All of a sudden, our eyes went to her diamond engagement ring, of which she was so proud. Nancy said – we cannot let that ring be cremated! So we took it off. When my oldest daughter got engaged, I gave her the ring. Not very valuable, said the jeweler, and set in a cut that was too high. But Anne loved her grandmother and proudly wears her ring – all the time!
What a beautiful story, Margaret! Your daughter is so lucky to have it.
My piece of jewelry is the opal birthstone ring I picked out for my 16th birthday. It wasn’t terribly expensive but for my parents it was much more than they could spend at one time so they put it on layaway. As I got older, I grew out of it so it no longer fit. The setting is very old fashioned but I still love it at 70 years old. I finally took it to the jeweler a few years ago to have it sized up, so am able to wear it and enjoy it again. The stone has lost its brilliance which the jeweler explained was due to scratches (not seen by the naked eye), but the ring is still pretty and the blues and greens still come through.
Enjoy your rings while you can. They may be old fashioned and not worth much monetarily, but they are precious to you!
What precious memories, Pat!
Good morning! Ugh I’m putting those rings away for years. I’m like you, now I want to have these reminders close to my heart. I wear a ring from my mother in law with my wedding ring. I believed it was good with diamonds until a jeweler told me it was CZ. Did I stop wearing it? No, it still makes me think of her. I have lots of my Mom’s rings as well and need to incorporate one into my stack.
The value is in the memories! Enjoy them, Amy!
I think the jewellery was ‘having a lend’ of you at the time and was a bit of a ******. I have two rings from Tiffany’ – exactly the same style, except the stones are Emeralds, not Sapphires) and are circa 2000s. My grandmother (whom I loved dearly and who lived with us) left me her rings, plus a pair of dainty pearl earrings she was given on her 21 st birthday in 1918. Those earrings mean more to me than other more expensive jewellery I have.
Quick question about the Jackie cardigan. Is the sizing generous – I am an extra small in the mini Belfast, but have my eye on the cardigan?
The fit is closer to the body than the Belfast, probably because it’s single-breasted…which may be why I like it better too.