The Very Silent Majority of my Readers

The Very Silent Majority of my Readers

You know who you are, and I’m writing to you.

You get my posts by email, so you thought me interesting, at some point.

I want to hear from you.

The Very Silent Majority of My Readers


I am giving away 2,  90 minute virtual styling sessions, via Skype or phone. They’re free. Value $200 each.

You can choose to email me at [email protected], or you could reply in the comment section. Just answer to win.

  1. What is your biggest style challenge right now?
  2. What is the one perception you think people get wrong when they look at you.
  3. Are you happy with the message your clothes send?
  4. When is the last time you felt totally confident with your look?


This blog is about more than clothes, but at our age, if you get that wrong, it can seriously slow down your fun. I’m redesigning my personal style recipe and realized some of my readers may want to do the same.


Style your day beautifully,


ps-Putting an End to Style Victims, One Woman at a Time


This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.


  1. September 20, 2015 / 11:00 am

    Hi Jennifer,
    I follow your columns religiously but rarely comment, perhaps because I am a bit intimidated. Not because I fear ridicule but because I am a transgender woman and may not be taken seriously. I actually write fashion columns for the transgender community which are well received but I personally still have many challenges because I am TG and I am plus size. By far my biggest challenge is hiding my plus size flaws (apple-shaped) so finding slimming silhouettes is important for me. Sometimes my message is good and sometimes not as I try to be both classic and a little trendy. I tend to get compliments on my dress but am never sure if it’s just being kind or not.

    • Jennifer
      September 20, 2015 / 7:13 pm

      Hi Tasi,
      I’m so glad you responded. Style is a healing and powerful tool! How wonderful that you are helping other TG women. I’ll be deciding this week and emailing the winners.
      Thanks for reading.

  2. Deborah Montgomery
    September 19, 2015 / 2:29 pm

    It may be too late for me to enter this wonderful giveaway, but I’ll put my 2 cents in anyway! My biggest style challenge right now is how to dress now that I’m going gray, rather than bleached blonde. I want to look stylish not old. Also, now that my hair is short, I’m re-thinking my image in that regard too.
    Another challenge is to find clothes that cover décolleté and arms and hit the knees without looking frumpy!
    Thanks Jennifer.

    • Jennifer
      September 20, 2015 / 7:11 pm

      It is not too late Deborah! Thanks for joining the conversation. I’m deciding this week and will send an email to the winners.

  3. Kim Campbell
    September 15, 2015 / 5:03 pm

    So my style challenge is after entering pre and post menopause I gained a lot of weight. I feel frumpy I used to work part time for a clothing store (J.Jill) and loved how I dressed. I read fashion magazines. While I try to wear simple clothes to feel presentable and comfortable I catch a glimpse of myself and think “That’s really how I look?!?!” Classic clean lines, nothing frilly, never have, never will. I miss the old me and old wardrobe.Used to be interjected with a bit of whimsy and hippy. Just this side of edgy.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:33 pm

      Working in a clothing store is fun and stimulating. The old you is still inside, you just haven’t been buying her clothes to wear. You could add some whimsy with an accessory, that will perk up what you have.

  4. Lisa H
    September 15, 2015 / 4:26 pm

    I’m a lurker too, but your questions are very thought provoking and inspired me to respond.
    My biggest style challenge right now is trying to develop a cohesive wardrobe for my actual life (not aspirational) and body which doesn’t involve black (LOL).
    I have no idea of the perception people get wrong when they look at me. I am often thought to be younger than I am, but that may not be a good thing. I worry about dressing “young”, although my shape & pesky gray roots might say otherwise.
    Are you happy with the message your clothes send? Generally, but I’m honestly not sure what the message is. Hopefully it’s polished yet approachable and “me”, whatever that is. I used to love color (especially red) but feel overly conspicuous in a lot of color now.
    The last time I felt totally confident with my look? Too long to remember but it’s been decades. I’ve been losing weight and that’s helping.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:28 pm

      Losing weight is a huge confidence builder.Good for you! String color can be over whelming as our natural coloring fades, so it makes sense the red feels a bit off.

  5. September 15, 2015 / 10:47 am

    What a wonderful offer! I would love to be chosen, but I also see several comments that mirror mine, so I hope you at least post the results of those lucky two who you work with.

    What is my biggest style challenge right now? I’m recently retired so I am looking for a casual wardrobe that reflects my artsy taste. It’s too easy to go for the jeans a t-shirt or sweater basics. I am 5′ 6″ and fairly slim, but I have a few body shape challenges (high waist, a little hippy, aging upper arms) that I don’t know how best to address style-wise.

    What is the one perception I think people get wrong when they look at me. That I don’t put much thought into what I wear. I do but I don’t have the pieces to reflect that (I’m willing to purchase them).

    Am I happy with the message my clothes send? Not always. I’d love to have a more arty flair.

    When is the last time I felt totally confident with my look? Not sure. Maybe when I was working because I wore the “uniform.”

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:25 pm

      Uniform dressing can be a great way dress in retirement. The pieces just change to reflect your taste. Wardrobe work-horses that are the foundation for accessories.

  6. Sharon
    September 14, 2015 / 7:11 pm

    Yes, I am a lurker and not a participator, probably because I don’t have the proper participation clothing! I am a retired English lit teacher and still hang on to my work clothes.

    My idea of the perfect style for me would be classic trousers or skirt, boots, crisp white shirt, leather blazer, and trendy accessories. I have 25 pounds to go in order to pull off that look. Help!

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:22 pm

      Weight shouldn’t prevent you from wearing a look you like. That’s like waiting until you’ve lost weight to enjoy your life! Wrong way around. Feel great about yourself and the weight will come off. You describe a great look that’s totally doable at any weight!

      • Sharon
        September 16, 2015 / 9:51 am

        Thanks Jennifer, you are correct. I will make that my fall project!

  7. September 14, 2015 / 6:40 pm

    I don’t think I’d know where to start. Can’t wait to see what you do.

  8. Theresa
    September 14, 2015 / 5:05 pm

    I love reading your blog and am generally one of the “silent” followers. I did reach out to you a few months ago and you kindly responded. So much on my plate lately and little time for myself so I did not get a chance to repond to your response! (Lol)

    Response to your four questions:
    1. My biggest style challenge is putting it all together. I often purchase an item because I like the piece, yet lack the skills in building a wardrobe.
    2. The one perception people get wrong when they look at me is probably that I look older than I am or I look tired all of the time. Most likely due to the fact I don’t wear much makeup.
    3. No, I am not happy with the message my clothes send. I would like to be more stylish and comfortable with my look. Defining that “look” is very challenging to me. I just don’t know what my look is, can’t determine which colors are best for me, which styles to avoid, and how do I even begin to build a wardrobe.
    4. The last time I felt totally confident with my look? Rarely happens for me. Probably on my wedding day.

    I am truly embarrassed by my responses, but feels good to have this opportunity to self reflect. Thank you!

    ~ Theresa

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:18 pm

      Thanks for sharing Theresa. The place to begin, is knowing how you want to look. And how you want people to see you.
      Feel free to write back anytime:)

  9. September 14, 2015 / 2:15 pm

    Well, I’m not going to be silent! I’m truly having fun trying to assemble a “capsule wardrobe.” I’m also suffering from my age old shopping problem, buying things I don’t really need. I love jackets, so I have jackets, enough with the jackets. But then I go out and see this beautiful pure, soft wool number from Italy. So, I buy it, take it home only to be confronted by the 20 other cute jackets in my closet. I take the jacket back. At least I have some discipline left. Temptation is everywhere.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:11 pm

      LOL! At least you know what you like and aren’t coming home with frilly dresses!

  10. September 14, 2015 / 10:02 am

    I hope they come OUT of the woodwork for YOU!!!!
    As you know I do not NEED YOUR HELP!However, there are MANY that DO!Traveling this week I did not SEE ONE ELEGANT WOMAN!NOT ONE…………
    LYCRA and JEANS………….t-shirts and Flip Flops!

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:10 pm

      Flip flops are destroying peoples feet and their appearance. I hate to see people traveling, dressed as though they were just at the beach or gardening.

  11. September 14, 2015 / 9:45 am

    Brilliant idea my friend!! You have such savvy style advice and any woman would be very fortunate to have your attention honed in on their style. I agree, it is essential to reboot our style every now and then–especially at this stage in life. As I approach the mid-50’s I find I crave more simple, luxurious dressing than at other stages in life….oh–and breathable and comfortable, too.
    Fabulous giveaway, Jen!!
    Have a lovely week!
    xx, Heather

  12. Kris
    September 14, 2015 / 9:01 am

    What a great giveaway and the questions are challenging! So here goes:
    1. Biggest challenge- developing a retirement wardrobe for a more casual lifestyle
    without slumping into daily sloppiness.
    2.This is the hardest- I think I would be perceived as reserved and, hopefully, in
    command of my appearance.
    3.Am I happy with the message my clothes send- sometimes, not always.
    4.I had some very together work clothes- so 2011.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:08 pm

      The trick is to duplicate the feeling, those clothes gave you in 2011! Casual does not mean sloppy, but it’s very easy to slide that way.Do you want to be perceived as reserved?

  13. September 14, 2015 / 8:56 am

    Hi Jennifer,
    What a great idea! This is a “win” I think any woman would love.

    My biggest styling challenge is finding affordable yet well made clothes that fit by body (I am petite and bigger on top than on the bottom),

    I am not sure what my style says to others. I try to mix classic and youthful pieces but I am not confident if I am pulling it off. I could use help. I would love to win a consultation with you!

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 8:06 pm

      Thanks Cheri! Affordable, well made clothes, yes!! Do you know what you want your clothes to say?

  14. Kate
    September 14, 2015 / 7:39 am

    Yes, I’m one of the silent majority – It’s so easy to read your blog and quietly enjoy it without responding so I’m sorry about that and thought I’d better respond!

    I’m 67years old and 5ft 1″. Unfortunately, I’m losing height as I age – which I begrudge as I was only 5ft 2″ to start with! SO lack of height is the first thing I have to contend with but I can’t wear heels any more as I have rheumatism in my toes. Lots of nice flats around though so I do have lovely shoes to wear.

    I put on quite a lot of weight due to liking food too much as well as dealing with various bereavement and loss over a period of about three years however this year I’ve lost 10k and weigh 63k at the moment. Still some way to go with the new eating regime however I’m back within my parameters of ‘normal’ so am now able to wear clothes I put away 3-5 years ago. What I did find very difficult to cope with was when my body changed from ‘hourglass’ to ‘apple’ very quickly. I spent the last three years wearing ‘box’ shaped tops over coloured vests which peeped out at the neck and hem, teamed with 7/8th trousers and always a draped scarf and coloured bangles.

    It worked for me and gave me a ‘look’ which no-one else in my age group was wearing although I have no idea what perception people have of me – they probably continue to think I dress oddly as I rarely buy anything from High Street shops unless I can find ‘my’ way of wearing them.

    That’s what comes of NOT living in a city, I guess, as the only place I don’t feel I have a different ‘look’ is London! So, to sum up, I’m old, short and curvy but have learned to live with it – even if I mourn that lost inch!

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 7:57 pm

      Congratulations on your weight loss!! The height loss, not so much. Sorry! There really are some great flat shoes out there. It’s just a matter of looking. It sounds like you have found a look that works for you. Thanks for reading!

  15. September 14, 2015 / 7:23 am

    Hi Jennifer, I would say planning my wardrobe around some weight gain to camouflage and take the eye away from my middle. I never had a tummy always a small waist, well those days are over and I am accepting my new self, while walking etc, eating better, etc!

    The Arts by Karena
    Featuring India Hicks!

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 7:43 pm

      That dreaded weight around the middle! I’m struggling with it too. It sounds like you’re taking the right steps!

  16. Jane
    September 14, 2015 / 7:22 am

    I had to ponder the above questions above because this is a subject I don’t really like to think about. I love following blogs about fashion and style, but it’s difficult to relate it to myself. I will turn 60 this fall and I feel ambivalent how so many things: aging, working, family, and just how style fits into the mix. I will be retiring, hopefully, in 5 years. My style is casual, which I like and am comfortable with. I like clean lines and don’t like ruffles or stiff clothes. I’m 5’2″, with a short-waist and medium frame. Generally, I look to my mood and where I’m going when choosing what to wear. I’m an introvert but like color and love to wear scarfs. I think the last time I really liked how I looked was 10 years ago when I wore a deep v-neck, flitted, knee length, black velvet dress. It was very flattering and I loved wearing it. To bad I don’t have many formal occasions to wear that dress, I would love your help and try to bring a clearer definition to my style so I can feel attractive all the time not just occasionally. Love your blog. Thanks so much for this offer.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 7:42 pm

      Thank you Jane! The dress sounds very classic and elegant. Fashion blogs are great fun, so long as you know what’s right for you and can weed out what wouldn’t work.

  17. LoriM
    September 14, 2015 / 6:57 am

    I’m not sure I’m the silent majority (I think I have commented before? Is that what you mean?) but I’ll take a chance and answer:

    What is your biggest style challenge right now? Getting rid of stuff that’s not working; paring down; doing a capsule maybe? Only got a couple years more to work at my office job (possibly; may work part time in retirement) so trying not to buy too much that won’t work in retirement, too.

    What is the one perception you think people get wrong when they look at you. Hm. “She doesn’t care about her hair” maybe. I’ve always had very short hair; recently started letting it grow out, with a body perm – and I don’t know how to style it very well. Which is mostly not a problem, but sometimes I look at photos and think – SHEESH!

    Are you happy with the message your clothes send? Yes, mostly.

    When is the last time you felt totally confident with your look? I feel confident today. In a general sense, I could probably be more consistent.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 7:37 pm

      Sometimes very short hair is not that flattering on older women. As our face ages, it’s nice to have some softness framing our face. What is it in the photo’s you don’t like?

  18. Wendymm
    September 14, 2015 / 6:55 am

    I love that you did this! Can’t wait to see what it produces! But then you know I love you! And time with you working on these issues? Priceless….

  19. Olwyn Irving
    September 14, 2015 / 5:40 am

    My fashion issues:
    Can I wear gray with gray hair?
    Is gloss (make-up) out for my age group?
    How to do propriety make-up for my age.
    How much jewelry is too much?
    How to obtain a long,sleek look on a short frame.
    No décolletage showing.
    Nothing with names, labels, writing.
    No v-necks as I have a long face.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:44 pm

      These are issues that many of us relate to. Thank you for bringing them up.

  20. Carole Boris
    September 14, 2015 / 5:21 am

    My biggest style problem is that I have size 12 shoulders, legs and derriere and a size 16 waist. Due to numerous abdominal surgeries, I’m left with a very large middle. If I buy a size 16 top, it falls off my shoulders and still is too tight around my middle. Add to that, I am short-waisted. I always wear a third layer of some kind. I have looked at all the “apple” styling tips which help a little. I still have the problem of what to buy — do I have to buy XXL and have the shoulders altered? (That is an expensive and not always satisfactory solution). I’m 72 and not ready for Alfred Dunner matching granny outfits.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:42 pm

      Altering shoulders is very expensive! A third layer is a great tool but not enough. Proportion and shape iskey. I’m glad you’re not ready for granny outfits! Me either:)

  21. Patricia Kimber
    September 14, 2015 / 1:32 am

    biggest style challenge. – buying clothes to suit my shape. My waist seems to have disappeared as I have got older.

    Incorrect perception – that I am not as old as I am, which is nice.

    Happy. – no, I seem to have lost my way. Do I dress for my age (67) or not?

    Confidence. – probably about 10 years ago.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:39 pm

      That is a nice perception. Lucky you! Dressing your age, is that important to you?

  22. Fiona McMurdo
    September 13, 2015 / 10:52 pm

    I have a lot of trouble trying to find balance in an outfit, how much is too much, have I gone overboard with the bling (I love bling) but I don`t feel dressed enough if I wear too little bling or lace or colour. I think people who know me admire the way I dress, and if they see something lacy or blingy in the shop they think of me, but I don`t want to look gaudy or like mutton dressed as lamb (I`m 51)

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:37 pm

      It can be a fine line between gaudy and creative! Especially when we are short. Do you like the message your clothes are giving?

  23. Lisa
    September 13, 2015 / 9:23 pm

    I’ve just left full time work for a flexible part time position, and consider myself semi-retired. In my former career, I wore fairly classic clothes, which I don’t feel truly reflected my more creative, adventuresome nature. Now I would like to add more personality, more fun, pizzazz and creativity to my look, but in a somewhat subdued, practical and classic way — that works for my age/stage of life (not to mention my body type!). So — looking to jazz up the classics I have, and extend my style to be more reflective of who I feel the “real me” is.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:35 pm

      Hi Lisa, I understand perfectly!! Change in lifestyle and work requires an update to your style. Being authentic is critical to confidence. Thanks!

  24. Sandee H
    September 13, 2015 / 9:14 pm

    I enjoy your blog and feel a kindred spirit in you. I don’t know what my style challenges are, but there are some. It depends upon the day. I would love to enter for the Virtual Styling Sessions. Lately, I’m just feeling old and could use some help.
    Thank you. And yes, I knew you were talking to me. 🙂

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:33 pm

      Hi Sandee! Welcome and thanks for being here! Can you be a bit more specific and give me an example of a challenge? It would help me understand better.

  25. Elizabeth Tierney
    September 13, 2015 / 9:11 pm

    Hmmm…my biggest style challenge? I’d have to say trying to adapt style trends to my mid-50’s body. I’m mostly a classics girl, but I like to mix in a few fun pieces to show I’m not the Brooks Brothers spokesmodel. But as I get older, it gets harder. Especially since I’m a teacher in a parochial school, which is to say, $300 bracelets are OUT. I’d really like to find just one magic piece to update my current wardrobe.

    Thanks for asking!


    PS: I love your blog!

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:30 pm

      Thanks Elizabeth! Sometimes that one special piece makes all the difference.

  26. Olwyn Irving
    September 13, 2015 / 7:13 pm

    Hi Jennifer – I am one of your silent readers. I am 74, 5’2″, 118 pounds, vegan, and a volunteer for a charity organization 3 full days a week. I have a garden I created years ago that nourishes me and keeps me busy. I live in jeans, long sleeved t’s, sandals or flat shoes, wear orthotics and now compression stockings as age related issues make their presence known. I have an early morning yoga routine to keep me limber. I let my hair go gray in my fifties. My biggest challenge is finding good crew necks, round necklines with no cleavage, and ways of covering the ageing arms, neck, etc. finding comfortable footwear that looks good is difficult. I dress simply for my volunteer job which is in the housewares department of a Thrift store. My life is quiet but full to the brim with family, work, books, friends, cooking and my garden. I am below the radar and like the freedom it affords after a professional career that had me visible and “out there”.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:28 pm

      Hi Olwyn! Your life does sound wonderful. Where do you like to shop now?

  27. September 13, 2015 / 6:57 pm

    What is your biggest style challenge right now?
    Living as an American expat in South Korea makes shopping a challenging. At 5’8 I am quite tall here and am also plus size making the in-person purchase of clothing almost impossible. I must rely on internet shopping and all the risks that come with it, including selecting an incorrect size. As a woman at the smaller end of plus-sizes, I also find it difficult to find clothing that fits my proportions. I’m too small for many plus-size fashions but too curvy for styles made for women with smaller shoulders and chest than I have.

    What is the one perception you think people get wrong when they look at you.
    Although I don’t see it, many local people think I’m a great deal younger than I actually am. In fact, many people mistake my eight-year-old daughter for being my (much) younger sister. I suppose many people would call this a good problem to have, but in a society where age matters when it comes to how one is perceived and treated, looking my age is important. I’m okay with growing older and am ready to leave behind fashion statements of my last age-decade.

    Are you happy with the message your clothes send?
    I am not. I would like to look more elegant and polished and to posses a capsule wardrobe that makes this task easy. I also find much of my clothing from when I was young, and when my daughter was younger as well, no longer works well for my current lifestyle. Where I was one a stay-at-home mother who spent most days at home, I am now a homeschooling parent who travels around Asia, spends a considerable amount of time at cultural events and museums, and am active in organizations which demand a nicer dress code than SAHM uniforms provide.

    When is the last time you felt totally confident with your look?
    To be honest, I cannot recall. It’s been a long while.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:26 pm

      Shopping online is always a gamble! Looking younger than you are does have benefits, and I see the cultural pitfalls. Thanks for sharing.

  28. September 13, 2015 / 6:34 pm

    I’m not one of your silent followers so I don’t qualify but your questions got me thinking so I thought it would be fun to answer anyways.
    My biggest style challenge right now is trying to decide which of my many many clothing items I really need and which to get rid of. Also trying to decide if I can still rock the flare jeans (lol).
    The one perception people may get wrong, hmm, I really don’t know?
    Yes, I’m happy with the message my clothes send. I enjoy the art of dressing and usually wear what I feel good about on that day, thus sending happy vibes (hopefully sending happy ones)
    Maybe I’m overly confident but I usually feel good about what I’m wearing (ok, I do text pictures to my daughter once in awhile before heading out the door, just for a second opinion)?
    So true what you said, at our age getting in wrong can take away lots if fun time.
    Want to come and help clean out my closets, haha? I think it’s a great excuse for you to come a visit me.

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:22 pm

      I’d love to help you clean out your closet!
      Btw, you can’t be too confident! And it shows in how you dress and carry yourself!

  29. September 13, 2015 / 5:32 pm

    What an awesome thing to do, Jennifer to help other women to look and feel their best!!

  30. Reyes Briones
    September 13, 2015 / 5:20 pm

    Here are my comments for styling session…

    Biggest style challenge? – I am half way to getting the look I feel most comfortable with – I have the pieces but somehow they still do not transform to the final image I am after. I think because I am petite some of the size proportions need to be tweaked.

    Perception about me that folks get wrong – I am actually more “artsy” then folks think/know about me as I dress more conservative (i.e. safe) then I feel/think.

    Happy with message that my clothes send? – not always – I would like to send a more colorful and somewhat edgy message.

    Last time I felt completly comfortable? – When I wore LBD, pearls, pumps and good pieces of gold jewelry for evening and black jeans, white/black striped top, khaki jacket, black slip on tennis and coach bag for daytime.

    Thanks for your consideration and would love to be selected!! I am a young thinking 62 and live in Oakland with my wonderful hubby of 36 years and our “grand”cat. Just found your site and I really connect with your style!!

    • Jennifer
      September 15, 2015 / 3:20 pm

      Thanks Reyes! “Artsy” is getting very popular these days. It’s very different than LBD and pearls! Can you elaborate more?

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