6 Things That Look Matronly

The words matronly and frumpy came up on the blog this week which got me thinking about wardrobe items we may be holding on to that aren’t doing us any favors. Style has no age limit but there are items a 25-year-old can make look modern, that often go awry on the older woman. Here are 6 ways to look less dowdy and frumpy over 50 you should ditch from your wardrobe this spring/summer.

Capri pants

talbots capri pants
SKIMMERS

I know this will be unpopular, but capri pants that end at the widest part of your calf, are unflattering and can look dowdy. Brands that cater to middle-aged women feature a lot of capri pants because women love them, but they’re not your most flattering option. Pants that end where your leg narrows, just above the ankle bone are more flattering and look modern.

Too Much Jewelry

TOO MUCH JEWELRY

I love jewelry just much as the next gal, but wearing too much at one time looks matronly. If you wear a statement necklace, dial down the earrings, or better yet, skip them altogether. A large bracelet with a statement necklace and bold earrings is too much and detracts from you. Wearing matching sets of jewelry is also dated so break them up and wear them separately.

Clothes that don’t fit well

woman wearing matronly outfit
HERE I AM IN TWO BAGGY PIECES AND TOO MUCH BOLD JEWELRY

Oversized, baggy clothes may be comfy, but an entire outfit of loose garments looks frumpy. If your top is oversized, choose a bottom that fits closer to your body. Blouses and shirts that are tight and gap between the buttons look sloppy, which translates to “don’t care” and that’s frumpy. Peasant skirts (like this) have been popular since the ’70s but they add bulk around the tummy and have a dowdy vibe. My outfit would have been saved by a slim tee and wearing the blouse unbuttoned, then removing some of the matching jewelry.

drab colors

Whether or not you’ve had a personal color analysis, or know your most flattering colors, beware of drab colors that bring your appearance down. An entire outfit in washed-out, faded colors looks dated and frumpy. That’s not to say you must wear bright, but have a balance and wear colors near your face that give it life.

Beware of florals

LOOKING AND FEELING VERY MATRONLY IN THIS TINY FLORAL

Florals are hugely popular this year, but they can be a fast track to frumpy in the wrong color or size. Tiny florals are the most dangerous, especially in pale colors so if you love them, be sure the shape is modern.

Shiny Nude pantyhose

There’s just no way to look modern when wearing shiny pantyhose for casual wear. Pair them with sandals and you’re on the fast track to frumpy. They can work for formal and dressy events but ensure they’re the sheerest possible and that your toes are covered.

No woman sets out to intentionally look matronly but it’s easy to go overboard and cross into dowdy territory, trust me, I’ve done it.

What do you look back on and realize that it made you look dowdy?

Thanks for reading and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.

 

 

 

103 Comments

  1. Thank you for your post today, you are stop on. Your comment on capris has given cause to re think my summer wardrobe. I have always loved capris, from my first pair of pedal pushers when I was 10ā€¦..that alone should have made me realize I might have outgrown the look! I always think of Bridget Bardot in her denim capris and Breton stripe T, a look I still love, but maybe itā€™s not doing me any favours! I find since retiring two years ago, and moving from a large city to a small town with very limited shopping it has been difficult to transition my wardrobe. When working I had a group of lovely young women who would help me keep current. Either in their choices of dress or or comments made. My daughters live on the other side of the country, so I no longer have the ā€˜ oh mum just noā€™ comments to give me nudge. I have you Jennifer, thank you. I am now finishing my coffee and doing an overhaul of my closet with a more critical eye.

  2. I would also like to add glittery, embellished and/or holiday themed tops. In my 40ā€™s I thought they were fun and whimsical. Now in my 70ā€™s I feel they are definitely matronly. I do like the white outfit on you, perfect for a resort vacation.

    1. I agree. Sequins and glitter tends to age us too.

    2. Too much makeup makes me look old and like Iā€™m trying too hard! Nowadays itā€™s just moisturizer, a dab of foundation here and there, eyebrows, lipstick , blush. Maybe mascara. When I look at makeup videos for women over 70, I laugh out loud! If I was going fancy, I would add smudged eyeliner and mascara. Thatā€™s it..
      And big floral prints! Plus tiny pale prints like the one you showed us, Jennifer. Geometric prints are ok but big florals are taboo for me. And Iā€™m tall and thin, so there ya goā€¦

  3. Personally I feel; choosing footwear that is ‘chunky or heavy in appearance’ , risks looking matronly if not paired properly with an outfit.
    Super advice, Jennifer! -Brenda-

  4. I too donā€™t like the look of caprisā€” or whatever they are calledā€” that end at the widest part of the calf. I prefer to wear very long Bermuda shortsā€”or whatever theyā€™re calledā€”and if theyā€™re well fitting and skim the knee are flattering and comfortable in summer. And the old pedal pushers of our youth often ended at the narrow part of our knee, an old style that isnā€™t embarrassing to look back on. As a tall woman, I should be happy for the crop pant that ends somewhere above the ankle but they just remind me of a lifetime of not being able to find long enough pants. Every time I try them on I wonder if they are just pants that are too short on me or if they are meant to be that way. I remember being shocked the first time I saw a woman in heels and a a pink business suit that had cropped pants and she looked smashing. It opened my eyes to shorter pants but like I say on me it just feel awkward.

    1. I like longer shorts. I try to adjust the length so my top and shorts don’t split me 50-50. I always liked to wear Summer skirts and long shorts have gotten substituted for skirts b/c they’re slimmer.

  5. I so agree about the crops — pedal pushers are the worst! The juvenile-matron comment is so true as well.
    Here’s another item to be careful with – socks. Look at younger women when you are out, not a sock in sight. They wear ‘invisible’ socks in their shoes, boots, and heels, but you will never see them. One other fashion-don’t that I’m guilty of is rolled trousers. Would you be able to explain how to roll or make cuffs without looking dowdy? Thanks!

    1. Have to disagree with the socks commentā€¦a few years ago, 100% the younger set wasnā€™t wearing socks, but now socks are trending with the under 30 set, and are, at least in my university city highly visible especially with sneakers

  6. Julie Greene says:

    Hi Jennifer,

    This post was spot on! Yesterday, I tried on a gorgeous white linen shirt dress I had recently purchased. The dress made me look like a total frump. I think taking a photo of an outfit is helpful because sometimes what we see in the mirror or in our mindā€™s eye is totally different from reality. As one who is nearing the ninth decade, I know it is easy to fall into the frump trap.

    Thank you for the reminder, Julie

  7. Hi Jennifer,

    This post was spot on! Yesterday, I tried on a gorgeous white linen shirt dress I had recently purchased. The dress made me look like a total frump. I think taking a photo of an outfit is helpful because sometimes what we see in the mirror or in our mindā€™s eye is totally different from reality. As one who is nearing the ninth decade, I know it is easy to fall into the frump trap.

    Thank you for the reminder, Julie

  8. I agree as we get older frumpy can be our nemesis. Being petite I have to worry about proportions. Anything baggy on me looks frumpy. I have a hard time breaking away from capris since I don’t wear shorts. Now I just wear them around the house and try to wear long pants or jeans with lighter material.

  9. I canā€™t add a thing to todayā€™s commentsā€¦ just want to agree it was an outstanding post. Super helpful, spot on tips. Loved it.

    1. Iā€™m so glad you liked it.

  10. To avoid looking matronly I believe one should update their wardrobe every season with a more current piece of clothing. Even the most tailored, classic pieces change every few years with manufacturers adding tucks, length etc. and white shirts yellow; jeans are either loose or fitted; shoes become scuffed & worn. When I purchase yet another striped tee or a white top my husband will often remark that it looks like other pieces I own. While most things I own are solids, tailored without embellishments and classic Iā€™ll go for a fun print now and then but I know itā€™s something that wonā€™t have longevity. Right now Iā€™m thinking many of the comfort sandals look matronly to my eye; it might just be me but Iā€™m seeing mature women wearing heavy, clunky sandals. In my SoCal community I see women who try to pull off voluminous tops in wild prints & while many of them look good, I know I just canā€™t wear that without looking like my grandmother. Interesting topic!

  11. Less is best. I like a clean, classic tailored look. Feel women of a certain age that donā€™t look like they are trying too hard look the best. Embrace your age.

    1. Trying too hard isnā€™t a great look as I get older.

  12. Some of the sandals I have purchased in the past I feel have made me look dowdy. I’m thinking of a particular brand my daughter likes to wear, flat with buckles. At 4’10”, I need a little lift šŸ˜Š
    Also wearing sneakers with anything other than work out clothes. Nowadays I wear wedges a lot in the Summer. I feel like I still get the comfort but they elevate an outfit. The capri issue is a tough one. When you are older and you don’t want to wear shorts, they are often a go-to, and the stores have so many of them!!! I totally agree with your post, when they end at the widest part of the calf, they are very unflattering.( My daughter used to work at Talbots and noted that they never miss an opportunity to add buttons to anything).
    Thank-you for your advice, Jennifer, since starting to read your blog, I dress with more thought and feel more confident and put-together.

    1. I am 5ā€™ 11 and had to wear high waters growing up since girls pants were not long enough. In the 1980ā€™s ankle length pants were popular and I loved them but so many of those turned into cropped pants on me! I worked with this lady once and we realized we were wearing the same pants! She was much much shorter than me and her pants were too long on her and my pants were cropped and too short for that on me! Talk about opposite body types, but I always remember that and laugh. I really need to rethink the cropped pantsā€¦.but I like to wear themā€¦.I need to stop! Thanks!

  13. The baggy white outfit makes me recall a trip to Florida many years ago. It was called “The Boca Look” because it was a fad among retirees. Tons of big jewelry.
    You are right on with pant length that stops in the widest place. I have a pair or two that I kept for around the house and yard (and expect no visitors) because they are comfy in the summer.
    Thanks for the tips!

  14. Being too matchy-matchy can be frumpy. Looking like you are wearing a “set” (matching top and pants for example) can be very aging. I’m thinking of the loose unbuttoned shirt over a matching t-shirt and matching pants… each piece might be great, but break them up.

  15. I have to disagree with the capri vs. cropped pants. Capris can look matronly but I have found that on my 5ā€™4ā€ 160# body, they balance out my larger thighs whereas, all the cropped pants I have tried on make me look short, fat and frumpy. So, I have yet to see how cropped pants look better on everyone.

  16. Jennifer, once again, you are spot-on, as are other posters here. I confess to wearing capris for their comfortā€”but only while walking for exercise. When I was young, anything looked good on me. Now, at 67, not so much. Every day, Iā€™m making conscious choices to avoid the frumpy, but more importantly just to look pulled together at this stage of my life. Iā€™m proud of my children, my retired teaching career, etc. so why wouldnā€™t I also want to be proud of myself and how I present to the world? In a very real way, we are emissaries for how the world sees aging women. Letā€™s do our best.

  17. Love this post, Jennifer. Question for you and other readers – what are your thoughts about sandals with velcro closures? They provide a great secure and adjustable fit, which I love, but lately I wonder if they look frumpy?

    1. I have them but have a love/hate relationship with them.
      Theyā€™re a blessing for those with arthritis in our hands but do tend to look clunky on me. Itā€™s another item that straddles juvenile and matronly for me.

      1. I know that my wardrobe of Tevas veers into frump, but I love them.

        Sandals with velcro that have wide straps, which sometimes looks like a mini podiatrist-boot, aren’t all that fashionable. However, if our feet hurt or don’t fit right we can’t wear our greatest accessory – a happy smile.

        Maybe own a pair of sandals with thinner velcro straps for times when you think the frump police will be about šŸ™‚

      2. If our shoes are painful, life is miserable.

  18. Great post today. You are right on with your suggestions. As another reader has said, at age 25 you can head out the door with little effort and look put together. When we are older not so much. Striking the balance of some effort but not overdoneā€¦. That is the key.
    I concur with your assessment of baggy over baggy looking frumpy; however as another reader asked, is that what is ā€œseemingly on trendā€ in the ā€œCoastal Grandmotherā€ look ?

    1. Costal grandmother is more about loose and neutral in my eyes and less about oversized/baggy or sloppy.

  19. Joann Czarny says:

    Jennifer, you are spot on with this post. I am also very tall and I find that too many ruffles and embellishments can look juvenile on me. Maybe not frumpy, but I always say it makes me look ā€œTwee.ā€ (Like a little girl playing dress up.)

    1. Oh yes! Iā€™m not sure whatā€™s worse at my age, looking matronly or juvenile! Todays trends are dangerous!

  20. Janice in Ky says:

    My most recent moment was Motherā€™s Day. After looking at pictures of me with my daughter the dress went into a bag I keep to sent to my sister ( for her daughter who is taller). Canā€™t believe I went out to brunch looking like that. I pride my self in looking nice, usually get compliments on my outfits.
    Should of sent dress back as I tried it on when it arrived without my wig on. It was a dress that should be (tea length) wasnā€™t happening on this 72 5ā€™ 125# person. It nearly touched the floor but was so pretty, navy with white design, button down the front with flutter sleeves, looked so pretty on line, but I think model was tall with high heelsā€¦..that should of told me enough, only good thing it wasnā€™t expensive. But it was so pretty šŸ‘©šŸ»ā€šŸ¦³šŸ˜”
    Wish I could sent you a picture.

    1. What about hemming it? Could you have 6ā€ taken off the bottom? Iā€™ve been known to cut that much off.

  21. I agree with you Jennifer. The all white baggy top and pants is too much fabric. I do think a less baggy top with color would look better. I am not one for layers of heavy big jewelry, seems to be overwhelming . I think a smaller purse ,shoulder or crossbody, would look fresh.
    I have been wanting to buy a pair of ecru linen wide leg pants, but looking carefully. I am 5’2″ so I don’t want to look like I am lost in my clothes. There are so many different widths in pants.

  22. At 25, you can pull your hair in a loose pony tail, wear a touch of moisturizer, pull on some slightly worn jeans and look fabulous! Decades later, we seem to over think and blur our natural beauty with a whole lotta bling. I just saw a lady on the news who had a hair style that wouldnā€™t move in a hurricane! She had a matching set of earrings and necklace in bold, chunky, bright colors. Her makeup was distracting rather than flattering.
    Soft lines, a subtle use of accessories goes a long way. For me, my focus is on a fresh hair style, fresh, soft makeup and more classic, easy to wear clothing.
    Maybe you could repeat the points system for accessories. It really opened my eyes! Itā€™s really all in the details! Great blog this morning!

    1. Fresh is a beautiful way to describe this look, Jan. Trying too hard often shows and works against, rather than for us.

    2. I really liked the point system for accessories, also! It would be great to have it repeated.

    3. I laughed at the hurricane hair, because that is exactly what my thick, wavy hair does. No amount of texturizing or frequent haircuts can change it. A new hairstylist asked me how much hair spray I use. The answer is none. This hair is going nowhere. I should have been a TV reporter.

      1. LOL, thatā€™s hilarious MJ

  23. Agree with most of your points, particularly the capri one. Where the pants hit at the leg makes all the difference. I also never see buttons at the bottom of pants on younger stylish women. I do slightly disagree on your oversized look however, because I actually like your look there. To me, on hot days, oversized linen garments (like what you are wearing) look chic and weather appropriate! But your idea to open the top and ditch some of the heavy jewelry makes sense. Thanks for this post.

    1. I agree! Loose and airy is a must in the Deep South.

      1. When it hits 100 here, loose and airy is all I want too.

  24. Holly Rigby says:

    Many years ago when I was about 45 and a size 10, I had a navy dress with tiny white dots. I wore it to special work events. It was nice quality and a little expensive for my usual purchase. I thought I looked quite smart and professional. I put it on and my mother, then about 77 took one look and said ā€œI think it looks ā€œ Hennyā€ which was her word or maybe Boston, for dowdyā€¦matronly. Well, I wore it after that but the word rang in my ear. When I saw your post, my mother was right on my shoulderā€¦saying Jenniferā€™s right! HENNY!

    1. Jennifer, as always great info and thought provoking. After being in high powered business dress clothes for too many years then a pandemic wardrobe I am really having to fight the frump. I love color but find if I hop on a trend I have to be extra careful that itā€™s actually flattering. Like some of the cute peasant tops at Loft this year. Thereā€™s enough material in the width for 2 people? And some of the sleeves while so cute are just overwhelming to my frame. Your blog is such a help and you are realistic. I like your choices and ideas. My body type is quite different but you have been great to address us modified pears etc. I like some of the cropped pants Talbots offers but agree with another commenter stop with the buttons. I think I am going to remove the buttons. Have a great weekend!

      1. I too wish Talbots would ditch the buttons on the bottom of pants.

      2. Yes, me too. Talbots has more non-functional buttons on their clothes. Also, sometimes the button color is all wrong — bright metal buttons with ‘Talbots’ imprint — when navy buttons on a navy sweater would look much better.

    2. My motherā€™s voice often rings in my ears. Her preferred phrase was, ā€œoh, the sights you see when you donā€™t have a gunā€. She was a gentle woman so that always made me laugh.

  25. So very true! Especially capri pants!!

  26. Jennifer, this article really resonates with me. I was trying on some dresses the other day and it was seriously sad. I am short and was shown a series of ankle draping, floral or tiered dresses, all with sleeves which were so voluminous they could double as a parachute. I am short (160cm) and when trying them on, looked like I belonged to cult where the leader has multiple wives. But, doesn’t your ‘baggy’ white outfit somewhat resemble the Coastal Grandmother look so desired these days?

    1. It certainly does resemble the coastal grandmother look. I just know I could do better by slimming the top or pants.

    2. Love your sense of humor! You made me laugh over your comments.

      1. @Ren Thank you. But my sense of humour is not half as amusing as the shop assistant who kept telling me how wonderful I looked.

    3. Love your sense of humor SusanšŸ˜Š

    4. Julia Carling says:

      I roared with laughter at your cult comment ! You have such a great way with words !!

  27. Paulette Levy says:

    One of the reasons I shy away from dresses (many of them anyway), is that Iā€™ve seen myself in pictures. Oooh bad.
    There are only a couple of styles that flatter me and none are long or midi or mini. They are a straight narrow cut to the knee – just there. Simple lines. No flowers. I did try on a to the knee trapeze (?) style I think itā€™s called and it was nice but too expensive. Never purchased. No florals. Yes I know I said that before.

    1. A sheath dress always seems modern to me too.

  28. Jennifer, your blog today brought back a memory of me asking a dear friend (when I was much younger!) if a certain new outfit made me look matronly. Her answer was, “Not on you.” I still smile when I think of her answer. If I were to wear that same outfit today, I bet it would make me look dowdy, so what you say here today rings true. The young can wear anything! But at my age, it is important to look critically at potential outfits if I want to look stylish & youthful. Thanks for the memory and the advice.

  29. Elizabeth Setum says:

    What looks matronly to me is what I call a Queen Elizabeth purse, one with short handles meant to be carried on the elbow or in the hand. A shoulder purse of cross-body looks more youthful.

    1. I love cross body bags for their practicality, but I think it is the style of the Queen’s handbags which make them seem even more matronly. But, the Queen rocks.

      1. Agree! The Queen at 96 is on her own keenly developed fashion sphere! What a woman!

      2. Elizabeth says:

        I meant to say ā€œa cross-body OR shoulder purseā€. I am not criticizing the Queen at all, just trying to describe the style of purse.

      3. I totally understand Elizabeth. You described her bag well.

      4. She does indeed!!

    2. There is a very special look to the Queenā€™s purse :). I have a love/hate relationship with crossbody bags because the scrunch my tops and I hate the look of the strap across my chest. They are modern and handy though.

      1. Nancy Choat says:

        I have to agree with Melissa about your outfit with the all white loose fitting top & long linen wide pants. You look cool & casual especially with the natural straw hat & bag which keeps the look modern & very chic. Iā€™d wear that look in a minute omitting some of the jewelry & wearing one long natural looking statement piece around my neck. Natural sanders (not black) would also help the look. Great advice on the capris which Iā€™ve ditched!šŸ¤—

      2. @Elizabeth I didn’t think for a moment you were criticizing the Queen (which you can of course) but merely describing her style of handbag which I don’t think has changed since she was crowned.

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