Why I’m Not Going Gray

I’m not neurotic about it or anything, but I do think about my hair often. Not because I love it but because it’s always a struggle. Baby fine, poker straight, and thinning is not an easy combo. Toss in the “to gray or not to gray” question and there’s more to consider.

What I Know to be True About Gray Hair

Our natural coloring softens as we age. Eye color lightens, natural lip color fades, and our skin loses its vibrancy. As a result, we have less contrast between our features and our hair. The stark contrast of very dark hair can make wrinkles appear deeper, which makes you look older.

Going gray or silver is a choice many women struggle with. It’s all the rage to go natural these days. Of course, hair color companies aren’t suffering because there’s just as many of us who choose to cover our gray than not.

Salt and pepper hair has always been one of my favorite looks. There’s something about the contrast of colors that I find beautiful. Sadly, that’s not a look I will ever get because my hair is too light. I always wanted to be a brunette…go figure.

I’ve written about my hair here, here, and here, pondering the gray question more times than not. When I make a plus and minus list for going gray, in my case silver, the minuses far outweigh the plusses.

Why I’m Not Going Gray

  • My blonde is ashy and taupe. Coloring my hair adds body which is why when I started with highlights at 15, I never looked back.
  • Adding lowlights gives my hair dimension and helps it look thicker.
  • The truth is, I don’t have enough silver coming in so it looks mottled, patchy and drab.
  • I don’t need to lighten my hair to flatter my softening features because it’s already pale.
  • I really do look older with silver hair. I am old seasoned but I don’t want to look older than I need to.

Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled Life in sunshine to show how her hair is not going gray

Dishwater blonde hair worked on my younger face but it’s not flattering now. I’ve toyed with the idea of going platinum but I’d need to wear it very short because of the damage the bleach would cause. I don’t look good in short hair. Been there done that in my 30’s and it was not my finest moment.

I love the look of gray and silver hair, just not on me, yet.

Did you decide to go gray?

Thanks for reading and have a great day.


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This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.


  1. suzanne
    December 19, 2019 / 9:42 pm

    So I wonder if anyone has any advice? I just turned 52 and I have been dying my hair platinum blonde for the past 5 years – which in certain light looks silver in other light looks white – think 1962 Marilyn Monroe. In fact I have been compared to her which of course I am not but I must admit I like the comparison. However the last 6 months I have have had two colleagues I had not seen in several years, greet with with the same words “wow you are greyer than me now!” Oh dear. I am looking for a job after graduation and I do not want to appear older than I am since i am in competition with much younger candidates. The truth is I like my hair, the cut and color. If I go natural I will be strawberry blonde on my sides, ash brown in the back and white blonder/grey in the front and at the temples. I know this because i was in school and unable to afford dying it for two years. I would love to have the confidence you all talk about but reality is that I want a job so shall I go for psychological counseling to improve my confidence and carry the platinum or spend the money on a good highlight low light and maybe not like my hair so much but get the job?

    • Jennifer
      December 20, 2019 / 9:55 am

      I sent you an email

  2. Gwen
    December 11, 2019 / 12:39 pm

    You and your hair looks lovely! Very classy. Do what makes you happy! 🙂

  3. Nancy
    August 13, 2019 / 6:14 am

    Does anyone use those temporary gray cover products? I don’t color my hair. I’m 66. Love my natural color and have very little gray. What I have is all at my temples and use Style Edit, it really works. My daughter has a white streak at her forehead and uses a crayon that is miraculous.
    My mom went gray very gradually in her 70s and had very attractive white hair in her 80s. But, she looked pretty dreary in those going gray years. I plan to get high/low lights I guess. I detest roots so much I might be that person that goes every 3 weeks.

    My problem is as I get older my hair cuts get so much less attention, a young stylist will cut a helmet and say bye! I have to dress to the 9s , do my nails, and bring photos and be very specific. Still no guarantee. It’s a pain to not have a regular stylist.

    • August 13, 2019 / 7:53 am

      I hate stylists like that! Do dress to the nines and be demanding of something chic. Stylists in larger cities are often more up on what’s current. Sometimes a younger male stylist is a better option too.

      • Nancy
        August 16, 2019 / 7:34 pm

        My 12 years in Seattle about wore me out, but I think you’re right about younger men stylists. But they move on!! I have also had good luck with some women in their 40s when I think about it.
        I think cut *and* color would be at least $150 or so. Certainly not $85! To the above question. My daughter actually has a special savings account for her hair. She got her father’s very curly flat black, no shine, supposed to be Irish hair. Wow, it’s beautiful but with a lot of assistance.

  4. Dee
    August 11, 2019 / 12:16 pm

    I am 62 and get my hair done every 5 weeks. My hair grows quickly so I try and stretch appointments apart by doing a root touch up at week 4.
    I know I would look older and washed out if I didn’t get my hair coloured. It is a great but also helps me feel better about myself.

    I would love to know what people pay for a cut and colour? I am lucky that my wonderful hairdresser is very reasonable. I pay 85.00 and add a 15.00 tip.

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