Civility and Style
I had another post planned for today but felt this was more timely. This topic has been on my mind for weeks, then events over the weekend brought it to a head. I invite you to agree or disagree with me but for the sake of civility, please be polite.
When I was in middle school, the mean girls ruled by intimidation. I wasn’t part of their crowd so was fair game. Their weapon was to publicly humiliate me for what I was wearing. Sadly, some of those mean girls have grown into mean women who feel entitled to do the same.
As a style blogger, I put myself out there in the public eye and welcome feedback. When negative comments cross the line to name calling and cruelty, they’ve gone too far. Social media can feel like a battlefield some days and my Facebook page became the front line last Friday.
A woman commented that I was narcissistic and shallow for sharing pictures of what I wore. Hello? She was on the business page for my blog which makes it pretty clear what I do. She said my outfit looked boring and insisted I had to wear more color because that’s what women with careers did. She began private messaging me where her comments crossed the line to vicious. I finally banned her from my page and deleted the entire exchange.
This got me thinking about women who aren’t style bloggers. Women who wish to try new styles and change their look. Many of us need to transition our style because of retirement, physical challenges, or other lifestyle changes. Some of us are just ready for a change.
We’re  bombarded with enough messages about how we should and shouldn’t look. We’re told we shouldn’t wear certain fashions because of our age, shape, size, etc, etc. When you add the verbal critiques from other women into the mix…you have the perfect storm to cripple some woman’s style creativity.
I’m not the only one who has overheard 2 or more women, openly pick apart another woman’s appearance. It’s called gossip and it’s mean. Offhand comments do more damage than you might imagine. We need to support and encourage other women’s fashion choices. Just because it’s not your style doesn’t make it wrong.
What do you think?
Have you got a great retort for critiques about how you look?
Thanks for reading and have a great day!
and daily…Bullies are always bullies… unless they have a “roadside experience”!!! It’s how they feel OK about themselves. Sad really…But to end on an up note. Thank you Jennifer for your commitment to keeping us all in the know…Love your Blog / sb
They always are so I like to keep them at a distance:) Thanks Sue
Jennifer, this post moved me so much. I was so sad to read that you were bullied at school – and that someone had been using bullying behaviour through your Blog. It is also sad that, to this very day, children in schools across the world are still being bullied. Some responses mentioned school uniforms and whilst I agree uniforms equalise the student population – here in Australia 99.9% percent of schools have uniforms and bullying still takes place. As a child, when girls said mean things to me my mother used to say it was jealousy. It really didn’t help me then but the cuddle that went with the statement did make me feel safe. As an adult I can see what she meant – this woman who attacked you is clearly jealous. I love your Blog – love, love all your black – I can see that you (like me) feel more confident in black and your clothes are suitable for all occasion AND definitely aren’t boring – they are classic and tasteful……Also love the fact that you are the only Blogger I know who talks about caravanning clothes……Keep strong and keep wearing exactly what makes you feel good.
Thank you so much for your kind words an support Joy!! Bullying is so unacceptable. It hurts me to think of children enduring it.
I enjoy what you post and most of what you wear. Even when I do not care for what you wear, I admire the overall presentation and how you share what is going on while you are wearing the clothing. Its like a nice chat with a friend. I think that observing new ideas in fashion can lead to growth, personally and professionally. Your blog is fun, informative, and makes me happy when I read it. Thank you for the fun you bring with your post! SK
Thanks so much SK! I appreciate your support.
I need to add my comments on how much I enjoy reading your blog. As others have said, I don’t always want to wear everything you wear, but you are always thoughtful in your comments and it makes me think carefully about what I wear and buy. This is a huge help!
“Haters will always hate”, it’s terrible,but true. I’m so sorry you were subject to those comments. You bring a smile to me when I read your blog – and to so many others. Thanks so much.
CJ
Thank you CJ! I’m so glad you’re here and grateful you enjoy my blog.
Good for you. Bullying is everywhere. And you were right to stand up and speak out that this is bad behavior. And that you are not tolerating it on your Facebook page or anywhere else.
Jennifer, this post is brilliant. I have followed your blog for a long time but seldom comment.Today I must. I love your writing, your attitude towards life, and your style. Thanks for putting yourself out there, and please know that you and your work are highly valued.
Thank you Cynthia! I’m so glad you’re here.
Jennifer,
I am so sorry to read this. I am afraid some people do not know the difference between offering a honest critique and blatant criticism. A critique always strives to find a positive in the picture whereas criticism is often just nasty and personal.
When ever I offer a critique I really look closely to find what doesn’t work for ME. In many cases I am looking for the blogger to offer an alternative idea but if I have found an alternative that works for me I feel free to offer it up knowing that it too might not work for all. Bottom line is we can agree to disagree in a respectful , kind way. One only needs to read ‘comments’ in FB to see how what started out as a respectful conversation between a supportive group can devolve into a cruel case of rudeness and name calling.
Jennifer, work hard to let go of those nasty memories from the past.
They don’t serve you, they just cast black shadows on your psyche. I know it’s difficult but most of us have been there and are always here to support you. <3
Thank you so much Allison. Toxic people serve no one, not even themselves. Facebook can be a sewer if you let it. I won’t allow that to be.
I’m so sorry you went through this. It’s the ugly side of social media. I never understand someone’s need to be mean but find it in abundance. I keep wondering when they will grow out of it! I love Brene Brown’s comeback to the trolls who hide and are too cowardly to put themselves out there: “If you’re not in the arena getting your butt kicked too, I’m not interested in your feedback.” xo
I know you’ve dealt with the worst of this, Jenn. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this. I adore Brene Brown. I’ve read all her books and adore the score by her. It is electrifying.xx
You have a wonderful blog. Don’t listen to one bully. Ban, block and be done with it. I’m so sorry that one person’s bad behavior caused you so much stress. I follow a lot of fashion blogs, and rarely is there anything other than polite supportive interaction.
Thank you Lisa! Most bloggers deal with this. Sadly it goes with the territory.
I missed this post yesterday, so when I saw your comments today, I had to go back and read it. The person who criticized you clearly has “issues” and probably not much of a life. One of the pitfalls of social media, is that some people feel “safe” hiding behind it to “say” things they would NEVER say in “real life”. I’m so sorry you had to go through that! Thinking of you…
Thank you, Marty. It is a plague on social media so we just need to ignore them and block, block, block.
Jennifer, I am sorry to learn of the negative experience you had, which was obviously from someone who is afflicted with a false sense of self-importance. I enjoy your blog very much, because you give practical good advice. You are articulate & engaging in your posts. In fact, I think you are introspective in what you say, & you have made me see that my appearance as an extension of myself. The truth is that you are not boring in anyway; you are a delight. I would venture to say that It is more likely that you are the victim of envy than anything else, because you live what appears to be a charmed life. You are a lovely person who takes good care of herself. You have a beautiful family you share with us & you use your blog positively for women to gain confidence. There is always some bully who wants to level the playing field by trying to knock down a a pulled together person such as yourself down a couple pegs in a feable attempt to make themselves feel better about their own wretched lives. So, I say, shame on her & well done you! Keep it up, we enjoy learning from you!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Tracey. Trust me, I do not live a charmed life:) Blogs that show whitewashed versions of their life simply make me feel bad about my own so my goal is to be as real as I can. She was toxic from the get-go and I suspect a very unhappy woman. Good riddance to her.
I found your post very interesting. I have learned as I age that some women have hidden insecurities which they project through very unhealthy comments to others.
That being said, I find that although some things you suggest might not work for me other things are awesome ideas I never might have thought of.
Fashion is personal to each person and I like the fact we get to share ideas and learn new things…..even stretch our imaginations now and then.
It is unfortunate some people just cannot open their minds to new ideas. Keep posting so those like myself, who feel you have some great tips can continue to enjoy them.
It always amazes me when I hear women being cruel about and to other women about something as powerful as our clothes. Thanks for being here Sue!
I eagerly look forward to every column of yours and have encouraged friends to check it out. There isn’t much attention focused on older women so I read everything that I can and filter it for what applies to me. I’m so thankful that I happened upon you and your practical and well intentioned tips ranging from wardrobe to health and makeup. I’m saddened and angry that you have to even have exchanges with mean spirited people. All they have to do is not read your blog. Bless you and your life.
I’m so happy you’re here and enjoy my blog, Holley! We all have different styles and just because I may not be able to wear what a woman chooses, doesn’t mean I will criticize her.
Your fashion sense is delightful, but it’s also great that you share your life with readers ; nothing narcissistic about explaining your fun with family and friends to women of similar age and interests. You have frequently inspired me beyond fashion, like when hubby and I started talking about retirement living when you were looking. Horrible that someone treated you badly!
Thanks, Laura! We are still on that hunt and just picked up our trailer from the repair shop so will be off soon to check other spots!
There will always be those who have a need to make themselves feel “better-than” by attacking others. My personal belief is that as women, we are attacked plenty (by the media, society, etc.). We don’t need to treat other women poorly. Recognize that we are a sisterhood! Someone I know recently made a nasty comment to me. My response to her was: “What you said to me was very hurtful. I don’t see you as that kind of person”. My comment gave her room to think about what she said, and she apologized! I know this type of response is not always possible, but I think we can begin to build a loving sisterhood by helping those closest to us see that hurtful comments are not welcome.
I love that response you gave her, Linda! Upfront honesty is always best.
Thanks so much for sharing one of the challenges of your public life and how your you handled it. The WWW has introduced another way to spread viciousness. You’re really brave to face the possibility day after day. Our interests are what help us get out of bed every day and, for me, keep out of my grown children’s hair (LOL) and for that they’re very thankful. Thanks for sharing your interests and enthusiasms with us.
My favorite line in your post was “deleted the entire exchange”. Which sounds to me like moving on — a life skill I feel is important to know when to do.
I’m continually shocked that these ‘mean girls’ still exist, even at ‘our age’. But they do. Being able to quickly identify them helps to make life more pleasant. I was recently the target of a wide spread cyber-bullying campaign brought on by one of them. It was painful, stressful and I emerged smarter and stronger. Lesson learned.
Jennifer, you provide a valuable resource for women who are interested in looking and feeling their best. Kudos to you. The impact you’ve made is important and so is your message.
Hugs and respect, Kimberly
I had no idea you had to endure that Kimberly! I’m so sorry. That is simply awful! These bullies are intolerable and flushing them quickly is so important! xoxo
You said it perfectly! I am fairly new to reading lifestyle/ fashion blogs, however, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading everything you write! This is what it’s about ????. Please don’t let the negative or cruel comments bother you; these women unfortunately have issues — and they have to put people down in order to feel good about themselves… That’s NOT you and I’m grateful for that!
Me ke aloha pumehana,*
Lisa
*With warm personal regards,
The lack of civility is found all over. I hope you can continue to delete the rude comments and focus on what you do so well. There is a reason that so many women read your posts! If they are like me, they like your style and enjoy the way you share your adventures. To borrow and adapt from a famous saying” The mean have always been with us”. The difference is that now they enjoy a platform that promises anonymity.
Bravo, and kudos to you for posting this today.
First and foremost, I think you are amazing and I love your blog. Do not doubt yourself! You are classy and elegant, and I love how caring you are toward your readers. Your posts are well written, thoughtful, uplifting, and inspiring. You have a wonderfuly balanced worldview. I suspect that the women was mean spirited because she has so little in her life and she has so little to offer she needs to resort to nastiness; such individuals have to lash out because it is what makes them feel better, or so they think. When I encounter such an individual, I remind myself of two great quotes from Madeleine Albright. The first quote is, “There is a special place in hell for women who do not support other women.” The second quote is “We should use our opinions to start discussions, not end them.”
I love those quotes! I know she was a person in pain, most nasty people are. Thanks so much for your support and reading:) It means a lot to me.
Jennifer, thank you so much for taking the time to share a portion of your life with us. I retired a few years ago and I miss the daily contact and conversation with women, you and other bloggers fill that void for me. Thank you! You and other bloggers give me inspiration to stay current. I don’t “dress up” daily but I do dress up when I leave the house…even if it is only to the cleaners, grocery, pharmacy, going out to local restaurant etc. I truly believe I get better service and I know that I feel better when I look better. I’ve learned that the old adage is true, “if you don’t have anything nice to say – don’t say anything.” Just because I may be critical or in bad mood doesn’t mean someone else is. Keep on doing what you do – I LOVE it and enjoy your company more than you know????
Wow – love all the supportive and positive comments that you are receiving.
You have a wonderful community of readers.
I am moved deeply by my reader support and comments. It quite simply floors me
It is my 30 year High School reunion this weekend – not attending. Don’t need to relive those times and be judged all over again. Thanks so much for being brave enough to put yourself out there. I really appreciate your styles and views on life. I wouldn’t / couldn’t wear everything you feature, but that is what makes us individuals and I appreciate getting a fresh perspective. Thanks so much being you.
Thank you for reading Carol! It’s never easy to put ourselves in the crosshairs. I’m so glad you know whats best for you. Self care is critical. Xx
Thank you so much for what you do. You have helped me so much in making style choices. It is harder to dress ourselves as we get older and our bodies change and I appreciate your information.
I’m so happy I’m helpful Konda!!
I’m so sorry you had to put up with this unkind and ridiculous behavior. You handled the situation perfectly. I just discovered your blog recently and am really enjoying it. It’s useful to me as I’m trying to refine and improve my post-retirement wardrobe. I appreciate all the time and effort you put into your blog and hope you keep up the good work.
When I look at a styling blog I go through and find ones that are close to my style. So I can get ideas of something new to put together or try to find what is new. I love looking at fun blogs of women who are so confident they wear wild clothes, even though I don’t. I am not looking to see and judge how that woman looks. I guess I was raised to be polite and to think for myself. Not pay attention to what others say. It is their problem not mine if they don’t like me for whatever reason. The women who are judging harshly should be blocked. That isn’t what the blog is about. I have found blogs fun and informational. So please don’t stop. Someone who harrsasses you even into a private conversation, that is just plain wrong. The only response I can think of is ban them, you weren’t asking for an opinion, in conversations with anybody that starts saying mean things I have said “if you can’t say something nice , don’t say anything at all” they shut up and didn’t knock people in front of me anymore.
I read thru all the replies, I bet those mean girls never had so many nice things said about them.
Thanks for all you do to help others.
Thank you Joan…I am so moved by everyone’s comments. I can’t thank you enough!
Hi Jennifer – I’m so sorry you had this experience.
I keep coming back to where you say, “I put myself out there”. That is not easy for any of us, bloggers included, to do. Exposing yourself to comments from readers means we have to be brave. I live by always respecting other people’s opinions, even if I don’t always agree with those opinions and I hope they do the same for me.
I am grateful that you shared your story so openly.
Cheers,
Deborah
http://www.fabulousafter40.com
Thanks, Deborah! You bravely put yourself out there all the time also, so know the bravery it takes.
Please keep up the good work for all of us who check your blog daily and look forward to some great fashion advice.
I can’t even imagine why other women would even take the time to leave negative comments. Obviously, they have no lives and feel the need to hurt others to make themselves feel superior. If only they knew how silly they appear showing their insecurity in such a childish manner.
Love your blog! Thanks so much!
Couldn’t agree more! I’m so sorry she had to take her own issues out on you! I find you helpful, refreshing and just delightful!! Keep encouraging us to be aware of fashion sense!!
My southern mother reminded me often, “If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say anything at all”. So many people on social media these days think their opinions are so exceptional that they will say anything (without listening to what they just said!!) I don’t always love the outfits style bloggers wear,but I value your opinion and take suggestions, because I, too, am in a a transitional time in my life and change may be just what I need!
I am always surprised when style bloggers get so badly mistreated like this; one wonders why the assailants are taking the time to read style blogs in the first place when their usual gripe is that the blogger is shallow for examining and enjoying style… Regarding your comments about picking apart others–I plead guilty and ashamed!!! But, sometimes one just gets overwhelmed by the messages other women send, e.g., this restaurant and its guests aren’t worth the bother of changing out of shorts, flip flops and a tank top with bra straps showing. It’s hard to restrain my inner be-atch sometimes. I do have an exercise I practice on myself when I internally rake someone across the coals for her presentation of self: I recompose myself and find one thing to compliment her on internally, e.g. “look how nice her manicure is; she has clean hair and nice earrings; she does not deserve my withering dressing down as she is most likely loved dearly by grandchildren, etc.”
I love your honesty, Clarissa! I think most have us have had those thoughts run through our minds at times. It’s the classy ones who keep it inside. Thanks so much for reading.
Wow, Jennifer, this post clearly touched a nerve in so many of us! During the time I was single between marriages, the ex of a man I was dating used her blog to take swings at me – nasty, mean-girl swings aimed straight at me I was shocked, hurt and thrown. It felt just like middle school to me and hurt me as badly now as it had then. What really shocked me was that this woman had a teenage daughter who was likely learning mean-girl behavior from her mom. I don’t know why so many people feel they have the right to comment nastily and feel compelled to. I’m sorry this happened to you. As you know, I think you are brave, smart, and honest about style. Keep it up!
Oh, Lisa, that must have been awful! I’m so sorry you had to deal with her nastiness! She was indeed teaching her teenage daughter the mean girl ropes. Toxicity is hard to tolerate at any age. Thanks so much!
Awful. Just awful. It would be difficult to have to listen to that. Geez. Wear whatever you want. I don’t care. Some days I like your outfits, some days I don’t. How boring would life be if we all looked just like our friend/neighbor/sister every single day. YOU GO GIRL!!
Jennifer I have never commented on a post but I need to now in response to the vicious commenter
You and I have very different lifestyles and shapes but I always enjoy seeing you outfits I like to think about what you choose and what would or would not work for me Total agreement with your choices is not my goal and I don’t think anyone should totally copy someone’s outfit
Thank for sharing your ideas about fashion and your life with your readers
Hmmmm…. I just say, “Why, bless your heart. I will share your comments with your mother.” Then I smile. And move on with my life. What cheek. In truth you are the first blog I ever followed and I have learned so much from your observations and advice. Thank you. In truth, bullies are jealous of what others have and act out from lack of self esteem. In the end, it is all rock and roll. Keep writing because I will be reading. Towanda and beyond.
I am sorry, I just can’t imagine mature women being that cruel. My mother always said “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Life is too short to engage in negative conversation. As women, we should all support each other, god knows life is just hard and it can be damn painful with out discouraging comments about what your wearing or how you look. I just found your blog and look forward to it every day! I encourage you to hit the “block” button when you encounter negative words. Keep on shinning!
Bravo! I enjoy your blog and find it to be both helpful and entertaining. It’s sad to think that there are grown women who still have that 3rd grade playground mentality.
Stay happy and keep blogging!
I have learned to respond and not react.
I take time to process the situation, and then respond accordingly.
Usually when one reacts in a situation as described, it quickly escalates into sparring back and forth.
When one takes the time and responds rather then reacts, the outcome is much better.
No use in engaging with someone who gives off negative vibes.
You look good with whatever you are wearing. I cannot buy from your sources. I am on a fixed income, so I use your suggestions when I do buy clothing that I can afford. Keep up the good work.
Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry this happened to you. I look forward to your posts and really enjoy your style.
I’m kinda in the “style” business myself, as a costumer for live theatre all over the San Jose – South Bay area.
I was recently written up for the paper for my work and can be critiqued in theatre publications. It’s interesting, I have no qualms about my critiques for my work, but people seem to think it’s also time to critique my personal style – well, sometimes I guess I’m not super stylish when I’m working, getting threads and sewing debris, even paint on me – I’ve had to say to some folks – get a life!
Thanks for your positive attitude and your very informative blog – I know it helps me and so many others work towards being “well-styled”. You’re a gem1
I enjoy your postings and pictures and look forward to them every day. It is a sad commentary when women do not support other women. Keep shining your beautiful light.
Very sorry this happened to you, and sad to say I am not surprised. I follow a few style bloggers and I think they have all had similar experiences. I am also a recent t retiree and enjoy your posts very much. Whether I will do the same look is my own choice, but I am grateful to you for sharing with us.
Gosh, the internet brings out some crazies. And unhappy people looking for a way to strike out. Glad you blocked her and moved on. I love your blog and have gotten some great tips and ideas from you.
So sorry Jennifer. It’s so easy for someone who does not relate to your look to just move on. Click off the page. Read someone else. No need to put anyone down. You don’t deserve any of that. That’s just a nasty person.
Hi Jennifer, so sorry you have experienced mean spirited people on your blog. They truly are a bore! I think, I would delete & ban them immediately. More than likely it’s someone with no life who is jealous of your success. Let that negativity just die and concentrate on your many, many, followers who find you relevant, stylish, and interesting. I appreciate you for being here and helping women our age who are not particularly supported by the fashion industry. I for one, am tired of seeing teenagers on the cover of women’s magazines and I don’t need advice on pretty much anything from a thirty year old starlet. Blogging gives us insight into real lives and I thank you for sharing yours.
Inhale Peace, exhale Joy!
Or Inhale Peace, exhale Drama!
So wise! Thank you xx
I’m sorry that someone felt she could say whatever she wanted.
If this woman is reading these many comments, she’ll realize she’s not respected and perhaps she should re-evaluate herself.
Sorry you have had to deal with this and so sorry it probably isn’t the only time. Sheesh, it really is ridiculous.
I love your blog and I like you “just the way your are”.
Suz from Vancouver
It’s not the first time but goes with the territory. Thanks Suz!
I am a faithful reader and never commenter. However, today I am compelled to add my voice to all the others. You are a joy to read because you are grounded, honest and open. Bullying comes in many forms and it seems to be sanctioned these days. It is nothing to do with you even though it is very hurtful. Please stay strong and true.
Jennifer
Like almost everyone commenting, I thoroughly enjoy your blog. The negative and sometimes vitriolic posts people put on social media has been increasing and there is nothing wrong with putting some ground rules for posting comments on your blog site. Then, when someone posts inappropriate comments, you can let them know they are being blocked for violating the ground rules….
Keep up the great work – you help us all look our best.
I was never talented at conjuring up a retort in a timely manner. As adults I thought we were beyond the pain of “mean girls” who plagued us in our formative years. But I guess you are right, mean girls grow into mean women. I’m sure you have noticed that with the growth of social media some users find the anonymity freeing enough to say whatever they want with no consequences. The political discourse in our country has brought out the worst in people. I’m sorry you have been targeted and can understand why you chose to address the issue. I’m most concerned for our young people who have been nurtured in this environment but lack the maturity to navigate the viciousness. Thank you for sharing this painful experience and let’s all work together to curb the rise in uncivil discourse.
I have noticed that some women remain mean girls throughout their lives. The best tact is to ignore. They want to engage you in a confrontation. Blocking this individual is the best solution. Give her no time, nor forum.
I follow your blog every day and while your taste is not always the same as mine,
I learn from every post. You put a lot of yourself into your writing and it makes you seem like a friend to your readers. Don’t ever change.
Jennifer,
so sorry about the ugliness you were subjected to. We don’t have to always agree or like everything you post but we can disagree agreeable. Even when I don’t think one of your posts would work for me it is still interesting to see what is out there. I must say though that I like and enjoy most everything you post and you have helped me to think and consider what will help me look my best. Keep up the good work.
Betty
I am very sorry that happened to you. Truly there is no excuse for it. We are all individuals with our own ideas and feelings. Someone doing something like that is insecure and not really raised to understand the word respect. No one in their life taught them the old saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” Chances are they have even raised another generation that thinks that is acceptable behavior.
Jennifer, you are adorable and I really enjoy your blog. As for the mean woman, she is very small-minded and thinks so little of herself that she needs to minimize others in order to make herself feel important. People like that have no place in my life. I prefer to be surrounded by positive, generous minded women. You were right to block her although I think it’s absurd that someone who finds you so offensive actually seeks you out to tell you so! I’m sending you good vibes!
Bullies come in all ages, never leave high school (mentally) and feel their opinions are the right way to do things. Women need to build up other women and not try to tear them down! We are not about our size, our hair, our income but we should be about our heart and what can I do to make it a better world. Kindness will always win over hurtfulness.
Jennifer, I find that people who strike out are typically insecure, but they are also just plain mean-spirited. I do like most of what your wear, but other things are not my style. Does that mean I should attack you? Heavens, no! Thankfully, we are all individuals and, as such, should be allowed to show that individuality in our clothing choices. Civility seems to have gone the way of the old model-T vehicle. I have determined that, for my part, I will continue to speak civilly to all people.
I am not in the position of hearing what others say about me that is ugly, perhaps i don’t listen, but I think it is because I choose my friends wisely! 🙂 I admire your spunk, your pizzazz, and your ability put together great looks. You know that those who rude and disagreeable are usually unhappy and want to spread their unhappiness. Keep on doing what you do, you are talented and lovely!
Dear Jennifer,
Please ignore the naysayers – they will always be out there. Please keep doing what you’re doing as many women, including myself, enjoy reading your blogs about fashion and life.
All the very best,
Chris
Could not agree more! Keep being positive.
I am sorry that you were attacked in this way for something as personal as what you wore and the way you chose to present yourself. That is never acceptable. But what resonates most clearly is your comments about mean girls in your youth. I never found a way to “fit in,” never seemed to find the right outfit, hairstyle, attitude, whatever to make me something other than an outsider. Too short curly hair in a Peggy Lipton of Mod Squad flat ironed long blonde hair world! The emotional wounds were deeper than I ever imagined, because they haunt me to this very day. I worry waaaay too much about what I am wearing, how people will view me in whatever outfit I have chosen, too easily hurt by an off the cuff remark. My public persona seems confident, in charge, armor plated, but the inside me is sometimes a 12 year old girl on the verge of tears.
Please don’t let the haters get you down.
I don’t always love everything you wear, but that’s one of the reasons I love your blog. Neither do you! I do love that you’re willing to share looks you’ve decided aren’t for you and then explain to us why. Thanks for what you do! It’s so sad that any woman at our age is still steeped in mean girl insecurity. My response to that is usually one of two tacks: Ignore until I can’t, then politely and respectfully inform the antagonist that life’s too short and sweet to waste time entertaining hatefulness. Be blessed!
I am so thankful to have found your blog. As my mother used to tell me when the mean girls got to me, “The are jealous!” Ignore the negative; ban or do whatever you need to do! You have hundreds of women who are happy you are part of their lives and who are excited to see a new post on your blog!
My mother used to tell me the same thing Brenda!
Joy – NSW, Australia
People like that are so unhappy with their lives that they need to think what they say is right??? It’s a form of bullying. In reality you are what they want to be. Jealous people are unhappy people
It’s sad that people so comfortable behind the screen of a computer and spit out spiteful hatred. They would never do that face to face. Your blog is for women of ageless maturity. I would hope that maturity would bring some respect for others also. Unfortunately our society in general has spiraled out of control.
I enjoy you blog and your approach to life thru your style.
Thanks and keep up the good work.
Jennifer,
Very well said. Thank you for writing about this, and thank you for putting yourself
out there everyday to inspire and encourage other women. I’ve never understood how criticizing and demeaning someone else can make some women feel better about themselves.
I’d say living the fabulous, well-styled life you’ve created for you and your family is the ultimate triumph over mean girls of any age.
Oh Jennifer, I’m sorry that snarky and dare I say, unintelligent people are leaving rude comments. Most women are interested in looking their very best, just for themselves. I turned seventy this summer and find that I need to reinvent myself every few years. Body shape changes, skin and hair changes…time to fine tune everything. Your observation on mean girls in school becoming mean women is very valid. By the way, did this person not realize that this is a personal style blog? Hellllooo! I kinda think that’s the point of a lifestyle blog; taking pictures, discussing clothes, trying out makeup and hair products, and then posting said pictures. Personally I think it is wonderful that you are comfortable having your picture taken. I would rather have a colonoscopy…ha!
Wouldn’t life be boring if we all wore the same things in the same way? I follow several older fashion bloggers with various styles and attitudes. All of them (including you) say the same thing, wear what makes you comfortable, works with your life and expresses your personality. I often love what another women is wearing even though I would not be caught dead in it! I love opportunity to enjoy other points of view. Who knows, I might just learn something and have the courage to try it myself.
I look forward to your blog every day and also have board on Pinterest for fashion. While I’m in my mid 70’s and little heavier than you, there are great ideas to be learned. I don’t dress like my daughter, but I don’t dress like my mother or grandmother either. Keep up the good work.
Sorry you had to experience that impolite rudeness. If someone does not appreciate your style, there are certainly other bloggers that should appeal. There are too many folks these days that instead of working together and kindly offering suggestions, they just name-call and spout vitriolic comments. Our poor children currently have such bad examples on display in the public arena. We _do_ need to return to civility.
Right on Jennifer! I don’t think I have ever been opening criticized for what I was wearing, but then, I don’t have a style blog. This woman sounds like a cross between a mean girl and an internet troll.
Barb
Follow-up. I scrolled on down and looked what popped up! “The Power of Dressing when you Feel Lousy”. See what I mean??
Jennifer, I understand why you feel the need to write this post. Yes, this IS a business blog we follow by choice. We find your content helpful. One of the main reasons that I choose to follow you is that looking my personal best within my budget and for my body structure gives me confidence and helps keep me forward thinking instead of “well, I guess this is who I am at 65.” Another is that you share life transitions such as dealing with relocation options. And when you share struggles with your hair, it reminds us we all have something to deal with! I love both Dressing room Diaries in the mix and your notice of the sales! If you could be a little taller and develop a pear shape you would be perfect. And, no one is perfect!! Thank you!!!
Many people don’t remember that we are not to judge others; that responsibility is not ours.
The best point of growing older is the self confidence that builds through the years. When we are confronted by people from our fragile pasts, sometimes past hurt feelings surface and we are once again young in our confidence level.
We must remember that we are strong now and no one can hurt us by THEIR apparent non-growth in the human quality of individuality appreciation.
People who must be part of a crowd who judge others are not part of the people I want to surround myself.
Stay strong!!!
Oh Jennifer, I am so sorry you had to endure this harassment. I agree with you that we women need to support each other.There is enough negativity in the world. No one needs to add to it with this type of bullying. Personally, I think you always look fabulous! I am sending healing, happy thoughts your way today.
Hi Jennifer. I can’t help thinking that people who behaved like she did, pushing the issues well past civility, have other issues going on in their lives. They focus on something or someone else as a distraction. They thrive in anonymity. Most of us who read you do so for ideas on what to wear and how to style ourselves and enjoy your view-sharing. That you write well and thoughtfully is a big bonus!! ???? You did the right thing to block her. Life is too short now to lose time in such nonsense. I am sorry you had to deal with this bullying. But your fans have your back. Thank you!
Jennifer,
I noticed it happening on my instagram account twice last week. They weren’t being mean and vicious, just telling me they didn’t like my look. One actually told me how to wear it better in her opinion.
Then I saw what people were commenting on a movie star who ( in my opinion looked stunning at the Emmy’s) but said she was too old to wear a ponytail extension .
What age do we stop trying to look fabulous?
Civility has been gone for the last few years and many people feel they are entitled to tell us what they think good and bad.
I know many of my fashion styles are not favored by all women but that doesn’t mean it should be commented on. If you don’t like my style, move on to find fashion that speaks to you.
I am sorry someone Felt entitled to be nasty to you.
Apparently they aren’t classy enough to know better.
Thank you, a Jennifer, for your beautiful blog. About a year ago I was immediately drawn to a photo of a classy looking woman on Pinterest. My first thought was that I wanted to look like you. I followed the picture to your blog. I subscribed and have read every post since then. I love your style. You are classy, modern, appropriate, attractive, professional and oh-so-helpful! I enjoy your writing style as well as your interpretation and expression of fashion for women of my age. I’m 62. You have made me feel empowered and confident. Your suggestions and comments are always beneficial. Please keep up the good work. You are a beautiful person inside and out.
Jennifer, when women pick apart someone like that it is because of their own insecurities and poor self image. Trying to lift themselves up in someone else’s eyes.
You do what you do, ( a well styled life blog) and you do it it well . Keep up the good work,
I love your blog and have learned quite a number of dressing tips from you. Learned about your blog because I read Brenda Kissel’s blog. I’m 73 but don’t want to look like an old lady nor do I want to dress like I’m in my 20s. Your style is just terrific. Too bad people have to be so mean. To me, it just means that they are not very happy or comfortable with themselves.
Thanks for speaking up! If we don’t like you, we need to not visit. We’re all big girls now.
I appreciate seeing fashion on someone who isn’t 19 years old, 5’11” and 108 lbs. Also, it’s more “style” than “fashion,” which to me is either about wearing haute couture (and that is almost like performance art, and the pieces cost as much as works of art, too) or about chasing brand names. Style is about personality.
Do what your mom undoubtedly told you to do in the face of mean girls: ignore them. Their attacks say more about their own insecurities than anything about you.
Be Kind! That’s my mantra. I enjoy your blog it’s fun, , but you are right, life’s too short, most folks are good people, so Delete Them….they’re not worth any ankst or another thought. Really…they are angry and frustrated people with anger management issues, who almost always anonymously, feel they can write what they want. Bad side of technology methinks….social skills have gone down the tube. How can you tell I’m 70, LOL?
Jennifer, there’s a term for the woman who crossed over the line to bully and intimidate, and it’s usually “Borderline Personality Disorder”….Those tough clients are not amenable to being enlightened/having insight about the damage that they inflict, so best to do as you did: Block them, stay away, don’t be hooked into confrontation mode. Mental health disorder folks shouldn’t be debated….
However, there are some critical comment folks who are just plain ol’ mean. I feel it’s best not to sink down to their level. You are smart, confident, and serve a very useful purpose for your readers. Developing a few phrases to put the spotlight back on a ‘Meanie’ is a good tactic. For example, “I’m surprised you feel that way”. Or, “I find all criticism ‘constructive criticism”, or the ultimate shutdown, “Thank you for your input”. Meanies like to witness or experience a reaction from their target: Don’t give them the satisfaction. ‘Sounds like you have some very strong feelings on this topic”. Bullies are always looking for ‘reactions’ of targets being hurt: Don’t be a player in their game!. But the woman who continued to PM you: Watch out for the truly disturbed, as they can cause a lot of serious trouble. You were wise to block!
Jennifer, let me say right up front I LOVE YOU. Your style notes inspire me, although physically, we have little in common. At my tallest, I was 5′-10″ but back issues have taken me down to 5′-7.5″. Still, I guess that’s on the tall side. “Mean girls” – as a kid, I wasn’t really bullied, and I was on the fringes of the cool kids. I was NEVER a bully, though. I can understand “mean girls” – they’re not yet mature enough to have a lot of empathy, and I think ALL kids today suffer from “center of the universe” syndrome. But once those mean girls have grown up, and are STILL mean women, something is seriously wrong with them. And I think we all have come across mean women, even as adults (and I’ll be 65 in January). Don’t ever let them get you down, though!! I love Michele Obama’s quote: “When they go low, we go high.”
Hello, I rarely comment to posts, but this moved me. Just remember that her comments are more about her and not about you. I hear envy, self-doubt, and hurt coming from her words. As Brene Brown says, “if you are not in the game, your fighting words mean nothing”. Keep doing what you enjoy.
I totally agree with you. My granddaughter is being bombarded with mean and vicious comments in middle school.
It seems bizarre to me that someone would go to a style blog to make criticisms about a focus on clothes! What did she think your blog was about? Cat photos perhaps!
I do think all people should be encouraged to be themselves, after all, they can only be a second-rate imitation of someone else, but a first-rate example of themselves. Who knows, it may be that your own style is just what someone else is admiring and wanting to copy!
As long as you dress in a way that makes you happy and comfortable and at ease then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Actually, they will probably admire the way you are bien dans sa peau!
I have followed your blog for a little over a year now (8/2016) …and can honestly say I have enjoyed each one, whether it being about a trip you’ve taken or the latest Dressing Room Diary.
I cannot imagine why that nasty woman felt the need to be so negative. You’re not “in her face” force-feeding her your opinions. She’s CHOOSING TO click on your blog and read what you write and view your photos.
Please keep up the good work for so many of us who LIKE your sense of style, honesty and opinions!!
Best wishes,
Lisa in Scarsdale
It is true that there are many grown up “mean girls”. It is interesting because many of the grown up “mean girls” I know consider themselves to be very nice and kind women, but they feel entitled to privately riducule other women. It is hard to ignore, but I believe it is best to work very hard at not caring what they think or speak about behind one’s back.
I am sorry you have to face public ridicule because of your blog.
Well said. Women are women’s worst enemies. Perhaps tearing someone down to build themselves up? It’s shameful, whatever the reason.
I applaud you each time you post for your honesty and courage. It must be difficult sometimes to put yourself out there to possible abuse. So, just one person’s view, but I love your blog and send kudos to you. You always look beautiful and you’ve certainly helped me with style choices. So…nay to the naysayers! You go girl!
Well said Jennifer!! And thank you for standing up to this individual. I love the phrase “for every finger you point at someone, there are three pointing back at you!” There is no place for bullying in my world – so I thank you for this timely post.
I am sorry for the rude, inexcusable behavior you experienced! I agree–we all need to be more civil & supportive to each other.
I have never understood people who openly criticize others be it fashion, hair, makeup or style. I understand competitiveness, but people don’t seem to know how to filter their opinions any longer. The rules of civility still stand and are even more important in this age of social media. There will always be mean girls/women out there and blocking this person was appropriate. Let her apologize before allowing her back into your world.
I always admired two effective retorts used by my male friends. The main problem with the mean or interfering remarks is that they are aiming toward a protracted “dialogue”, as happened with your commenter. Either of these strategies really shuts them down and leaves them nowhere to go.
1. (said quietly and in a sincere tone) Thank you. (for showing “concern” for me)
2. You may be right. (who can argue after they’re already right and, of course, you think to yourself “equally, you may be wrong”)
I appreciate your reminder of politeness. It’s more difficult to politely articulate a difference in mind, and to have a civil exchange of differing ideas — virtues that our country was founded upon, and, sadly, not always used with social media — than it is to use unedited words and meanness. I suppose it’s the anonymity. Keep kindness in mind, always, and agree to disagree, without slander.
No, Jennifer, I don’t. When something Like that happens, I’m usually too shocked to respond. Most of our generation was raised with good manners. My Mother always said “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing”. I’m not sure what type of person could be that judgmental. I guess I’m not secure enough to judge someone else. But I don’t think that a woman who is sure of herself and her image would be a bully either. After so many eons of women being treated like second class citizens, we must stand united and support each other.
I thank you for putting yourself out there.
I was also thinking, maybe this is an opportunity. To educate. I read alot of books on colors, clothes etc. And I have read that other countries have different views on dress than us. Some like neutrals, some like color, we wear white to get married, other countries wear white when a death has occurred. Some believe dark colors are business like, others believe color make them happy. We may need to discuss our views on this topic, so we can learn how to “see”each other better.? Thanks for being brave enough to bring this topic up. Thanks, keep up the good work!
I am that I don’t seem to have received many negative comments on my blog. Some don’t like or agree with what I wear but that is fine. I was given some advice many years ago. My trainer taught me that “What comes our of someones mouth (or in this case written word) says everything about them and nothing about you.” People give so much away about themselves if you care to pay attention to thier language etc.
My mother always said, ‘Consider the source.’ What she meant was that there’s usually more going on with a person that prompts their comments. That advice gives me perspective. It’s not so much about me as about that person.
I think a good comment to the kind of criticism about what you wear would be something like, ‘I hear you, but I feel really comfortable and confident in how I’m dressed today.’ Nothing more need be said.
Jennifer,
I feel so bad for you as you are such a kind person (I can tell !), yet, I suppose it does come with the lifestyle of a blogger, as you said you put yourself out there every day.
As we know, other people’s meanness is a reflection on THEM….not you. I’m sure it still hurts, however.
Please keep – up the great work as there are so many of us who feel like we know you as our friend and really enjoy following your personal journey and style !
Kind regards,
Diane
Dear Jennifer, I have never commented on any social media blog before but your post definitely opened a past wound. Please know you are an amazing and beautiful woman who tremendously helps others look beautiful and feel confident. The fact that there are heartless women berating other women out there is truly sad and a black mark on today’s society. We should be helping each other look and feel fabulous instead of knocking each other out. Keep on deleting those negative comments and know you are a bright star for those of us over 50. Thank you so much for your uplifting advice and smiling that beautiful smile! You are greatly appreciated by your readers!!!!
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I personally don’t get it. The internet is a double edge sword at times and I think the best response is no response. I love to go to your blog and see your outfits. And I hope you will continue to do so. Cheers!
A puzzled expression and saying “Excuse me?” encouraging the person to repeat the remark often helps them realize their lack of kindness. Otherwise, no comment or retort keeps the conversation civil. And we have two feet to use to walk away.
My body type is not like yours but the way you critique your type has helped me to do likewise with mine and I have gained confidence in my fashion choices. I look forward to your emails.Thank you for what must be a great deal of work for you to help women like me.
Your style is casual and relaxed. I like your choices as I am on the cusp of downsizing and simplifying and you give me inspiration. Keep on doing what you do!
Amen to that, Sister! There seems to be a trend in aggressive criticism and name calling today and I, for one, think it is horrible and completely unnecessary. What makes them an expert? Style is really personal preference, what makes you feel good. Just because I might not care for some item you show us doesn’t mean its wrong somehow, just not right for me. It may be perfectly right for you. I am so sorry you experienced this. I never felt you put yourself out there as an expert, just shared things you like. Keep up the style sharing as I have really enjoyed it!
As women, we should support and empower each other, not tear down others. Keep doing what you are doing. I and many other women enjoy your blog and posts. Those who constantly feel the need the criticize and humilate others are obviously doing so because they feel that they do not “measure up” and want to level the playing field. Don’t let those folks get to you.
Like you, I am open to constructive criticism and will post those types of comments. I want to always be teachable and I think I am learning new things every day. But, name calling, shaming, ridiculing is cyber bullying. I featured different women on my blog all summer, becaue I think it was fun to share what others are wearing, but some of the comments were so rude and low. I did not post them because I did not want to hurt my friends or associates. Over the weekend, like you, it got really ugly with at least one, resorting to name calling. It is unnecessary and I will not post it or tolerate it. My blog is all about optimism, kindness, joy and I hope all of those who are so mean-spirited experience what it is like to walk with those qualities inside of them some day. If all you do is go online to me mean and incite trouble, then please, for the sake of all of us…go get a real job! And deal with your own pain which drives you to be so ugly. Then think before you comment…is it constructive or hurtful.
Thank you for the reminder to be kind in our observations of each other. In the quest to have our own look, or to beautify ourselves, we may trigger a response in others..it has happened to me also. My thoughts are, maybe we need to encourage ourselves more, and support anyone who cares enough to want to beautify the world. More flowers, more hugs!
I love and look forward to your blog. I agree with the comments…As my mother used to say “If you can’t say something nice,don’t say anything”…we as readers can pick and choose. I like your style!
When my youngest son was in first grade he went thru a phase of wearing really, really bright colored shorts, shirts and shoes-really bright (sometimes all at one time). These choices made his little heart sing. One day he came home from school so upset because one of his classmates said “I don’t like your shoes”! From that moment onward I taught him to respond with all the curtesy and kindness he could muster “I didn’t ask!!!!!”.
He’s now 32 years old and tells me that was one of those things in life that STILL makes all the difference in his self-esteem! ????
What a neat way of responding to a cruel remark!…I have wondered as I read various blogs by intelligent, funny, stylish women, when one receives an unkind remark, why do you even notice it?…People who respond to blogs on the internet are as random as going to a busy mall, closing your eyes and pointing….You may get someone whose opinion you might value but mostly you won’t and will have wasted your time trying…I don’t blog but if I did these little sweeties would go on my uh-huh button…Not worth your time…JMO…
Great analogy Deede!
Love your blog and style. For me, your blog inspires ideas to use in shopping for similar styles, in the same or different colors, and at prices that I can afford. I especially like seeing how other boomers dress as we mature. Keep on blogging!
I think that you are absolutely correct that some people are simply mean and need to put down others in order to feel good about themselves. Unfortunate, but it’s a fact of life.
I also think that you are going to experience more of it than the average person because you have chosen to put yourself out there publicly as an example.
As difficult as it is, I would not engage with anyone who’s just trolling or being rude, but again– I am not offering anyone the option. You are. You have to have pretty thick skin to do this style blog thing.
Hope this doesn’t stick with you for too long– getting upset with a troll is just a waste of energy.
oh my, Jennifer. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with this.I can’t imagine how it makes you feel. As an elder, I truly appreciate all that you do…and WEAR…you are such a great example. Thank you for “putting yourself out there”.
Thanks Diana!
Words fail me really. I am relatively new to your blog and thoroughly enjoy it. Especially the diversity of the subjects you cover which are helpful to all us women entering the third age! Of course sometimes we do not all follow or like the same style, but that is absolutely no reason to be cruel and critical. I am sure, or at least fervently hope, that face to face these words would never be said. It is vicious and cowardly to hide behind the written word in social media. I personally have gained a lot from your blog and your style, so here’s to more of it and I am so sorry for the pain it must have caused you.
Thanks Annie! Social media is a double edged sword all bloggers deal with. I’m fine…just furious at the intent of her comments. She reminded me of a time when I would have been hurt but her words. Confidence is a powerful weapon against cruel words!!
I too was subjected to a lot of “mean girl” comments when I was in high school. I follow several blogs now, including yours. Every one of you bloggers have been victims of mean comments, trolling and the like. I just don’t understand the need to put down others in this way. I have to assume it is to lessen one’s own insecurities. My response to such comments would be to block them. Apparently these folks seem to thrive on the arguments/opinions that follow their comments. It’s sad and I feel sorry for them but you don’t deserve that treatment for doing a job you’ve chosen and for opening your choices and lifestyle to others.
That’s an interesting observation Jan. Perhaps it helped us develop the confidence and desire to share our style to inspire others. Being an Image Consultant did it for me.
Jennifer! I totally agree with you! I wonder about women that go after other women in a mean and spiteful way! As I have grown older, retired, like you my style has changed and have the freedom to dress as I wish!!! Far be it from me to ever say anything about another ladies style!!! Love your blog and your style!!!
Exactly my thoughts Carol. Their style may not be for me, but it’s not my place to critique it! Variety is what makes fashion fun!
I was a high school English teacher, and now I am retired and substitute grades 6-12. Last week I witnessed 2 sixth grade girls try to bully a sixth grade boy by making fun of his comments about computers. Good grief. I immediately stopped their conversation and told them their condescending tone was rude. They asked me me what that meant. Please know I love your sense of style and your willingness to share your good ideas with others. As I transition into retirement I am looking for inspiration and ideas from other interesting women. So. Thank you.
High school can be brutal. Good for you! Thanks for reading.
It’s always amazing to me when this happens, Jennifer. On my latest article for Sixty + Me I had some of those comments. While I realize not everyone dresses the same, I always thought that was the whole idea of style. We don’t want to look exactly alike, do we??
But people will be people!!
And I’m glad you are showing us your style!! Thanks for being a great inspiration!
XOXO
Jodie
Those gals need to get a life!
Jennifer, I agree with your thinking. As a recent early retiree I am trying to restyle myself in a more classy relaxed but still feminine style. I look forward to your daily suggestions and pictures. Thank you for your great advice!
Thanks for reading Joi!
I think you said it very well. I love your style. I can’t afford some of the clothes but it gives me ideas and I can always find lower priced items that are similar in style. People can be so mean! Keep up the good work.
That’s my goal Sylvia. Thanks for reading!
Dear Jennifer,
Here is my motto at times “Haters are going to Hate.” I mean honestly, there are some people (women are many of them) that are so miserable with themselves or their lives or situation that they find it comforting to tear others down. I mean my gosh, why follow a style blogger if you don’t want to see/hear what they’re saying? There are a million of them out there these days, so how about just being kind and walking away? What purpose at all could this woman have had by publicly being cruel? On the other hand, this is the world we live in and social media is the WORST joy sucker around. I tell many of my “sad/down/feeling low” friends to get off of social media for a full month. It’s amazing how all of sudden the life you lead really does fulfill your needs and you ARE happy. My only word of advice to you is that being a social media presence means you are out there and you will be criticized, it’s the forum you and all other style bloggers have chosen. Develop a little bit thicker skin, realize that you make most of US very happy with your posts and suggestions, and walk away….”Haters are always going to hate”. Chin up my dear friend! Amy
Thanks Amy! I know this goes with the territory. She didn’t get me down but she reminded me of a time when I wasn’t confident and could be hurt by the comments of others. Social media will suck the joy out of everything if we let it. I’m not letting it. Thanks for your encouragement !!
Not only US, I am a subscriber from Australia. I am in my 50s and enjoy seeing other women my age talking about style. I am sorry you had to endure such an awful experience.
Women can be so mean to each other and very critical.
Keep up the good job
First and foremost, I’m so sorry this happened to you. My disgust-level with the tone of discourse on social media reached the breaking point almost two years ago when I made the decision to bid adieu to my social media accounts. I’m self-employed and was warned my business would take a hit if I didn’t maintain an online presence. This hasn’t been the case, but at the time I’d had enough and was willing to take that risk – after all, people did business before the internet! That said, I recognize your business is web-based, which makes an online presence mandatory.
I admire people like you who put yourself out there and open yourself up for criticism – you’re far braver than I! As for the way you look – whether or not I would match your outfits item-for-item, I always think you look elegant and classy and often zero in on one or two aspects of your outfit to integrate into my own style. And you always set a tone that never fails to be attractive!
I’m so glad you find them helpful Lianne. Social media is a necessary evil in my business so I have to avoid the toxic folks. Thanks for reading!
Spot on Jennifer…I completely agree. People who are meanspirited have no place in my life. We should all remember that we don’t know the whole story with someone and bloggers such as yourdelf are trying to give us help and direction in this fast paced world.
I so look forward to reading your posts…thankyou.
You’re right Susan! Thank you:)
Maybe it’s gotten worse with the political rancor this past couple of years. I am sorry that you have been the target of a personal attack, that is never okay and most decent people still know that. I honestly can’t say that anyone has ever made a comment like what you experienced with that post, but so many of us value what you do, encouraging women to expand their fashion horizons and enjoy their clothing. I am sure others will share snappy comebacks!! Please don’t let a bad apple diminish your spark!
I think you’re right about the political situation! She didn’t get me down! Just reminded me of a time when I was 🙂
I am very sorry to hear you received mean comments. Life is too short so you just keep on doing what you enjoy and to heck with the negative people. There are so many really good people everywhere.
Thanks Linda!
Thank you for sharing! I use a strategy I call “DNE” (It requires an acronym because I frequently have to repeat it to myself). It means “Do Not Engage”. I don’t hesitate to block someone. Thanks for your post today!
Excellent tactic!
Very good idea
Beautifully said Jennifer! And what so many of us feel! I simply have no time for mean spirited people and they are what brings the world down. So sad isn’t it. I think it begins at home and mother’s need to teach their daughters about respect and civility and respect One another’s choices. Love this post!
So true Andrea! I know meanness begins with their own unhappiness but I hate to see them spew vitriol.
Luckily for me, I wore a school uniform for 12 years, so was spared bullying about clothes. As an adult, I wore a uniform to work and when in the military, there was a strict civvie dress code for the Officers Mess. Jeans were banned when in public (even off duty). I have therefore struggled with casual dressing, especially as I am now 60 and retired. I would like to thank you for your wonderful blog. Your articles and choices of outfits give me great inspiration when putting together something to wear. I think you always look fantastic. Don’t let ‘negative nellies’ get you down.
Thanks Susan! I wished I wore a uniform in middle and high school. I won’t let her get me down! I love what I do and thank you for reading.