Why I’m Going Gray
Happy Wednesday ladies. As the title suggests, Iāve decided to see whatās happening with my hair color so I’m going gray. I havenāt been happy with the color of my highlights and their tendency towards brassiness for many years, so about 6 months ago, I decided to go cold turkey.
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I canāt say Iām going just gray, because whatās growing in, looks more like an ashy pewter gray. My hairstylist tells me itās a combination of shades that includes some silver strands, ash blonde, and pure white. The overall effect looks darker in my bathroom lights and almost unnoticeable in other lights. Have you noticed the change?
My hair texture has definitely changed. I really miss the volume I got from coloring my hair. When you use bleach, it swells the hair shaft by opening the cuticle which adds volume. For a woman with thin, baby fine, poker-straight hair, thatās a big deal. It’s a lot flatter now too so I’m adjusting how I style it and trying to get used to the change.
Because I was a light blonde with highlights, I’m not dealing with a solid demarcation line where it’s growing. I am still dealing with the moth-eaten look and in some lights, I could be confused for a woman who has just given up. That gorgeous natural gray hair I envisioned just hasn’t shown up yet. I wonder if it will.
Natural brunettes would be hard-pressed to go gray the way I am without having their hair colorist make some adjustments. My stylist wanted to use a toner to help with the transition but I decided against it until I see what I have naturally.
I’ve got a ways to go before I see the full effect of my new, natural hair color, but I’m already changing my hair care products. I’m now using a purple shampoo every day and more conditioner but my hair is still not as shiny as it used to be. The reflective quality of the gray strands is quite different than highlighted hair.
Most hairspray also has a matte finish and I use it every day which makes my hair look dull. The shine products and glosses usually have an oily component to them which is fatal for fine hair. I did order a few things to try and will let you know how they work out.
In other news- we attended several holiday get-togethers last weekend and now that I’m letting my hair grow out, all I see are women who’ve done the same. I noticed something interesting at one event. The women who are maintaining their original dark brown hair, look older than the women who have lightened it or allowed it to lighten on its own. As we discussed earlier this week, our contrast changes as we age and that involves our hair color.
You might enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Many who are gray are wearing their hair in a pixie cut which is not a great look with my broad shoulders and square jaw. I’ve been looking for haircut ideas on Pinterest and Instagram, but for now, I don’t want to do anything drastic. One big change at a time is enough for me.
Now that I’ve started this, I’m anxious to get to the finish line. I’ve already decided that if I don’t like the results, I can always go back to the salon for color. Going gray is a personal choice each woman makes based on her lifestyle, upkeep of color, finances, and health concerns. It’s our privilege to go gray or not, and I encourage us to support other women’s choices.
How about you. Have you gone gray? How easy was the process?
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
The first time I tried to let my hair grow out was a mess I had been coloring my hair an auburn color and growing it out was what my stylist said is all I could do. It grew and maybe 2 inches of gray roots were showing then the auburn. I gave up. I also changed stylists. The second time was a success! My stylist had lightened my hair to a silvery grey color and put in silvery highlights. Since I wear it short it didnāt take to long before I had a head of beautiful white with silvery grey natural highlights
Your second stylist sounds like a winner
Thank you for your honest & sincere message to us āover 50ā on growing gray. I, too, decided in January 2022 to stop coloring what used to be dishwater brown hair that was colored & had high & low lights . While I did like the combination my stylist was using, the hair coloring wasnāt staying on as it used to. My gray roots started showing about at the 2-3 wk mark & I was having my stylist touch up every 4 wks, which was an hours drive away.
I decided to also go cold turkey. While she did put some heavy, really light hi lights to ease the transition, I found that was helpful considering my hair color. I havenāt looked back, am so glad I have done this and my real color now is quite white on the top & sides, which Iāve been told is pretty – the back is catching up quickly š¬. I am 74 & also using purple shampoo, which helps w/golden cast of the remaining color. I am reassessing my wardrobe colors & find black is ghastly on me & jewel tones more my color palette. Looking forward to working thru this next chapter. Thank you again for all that you do to help us senior & mid-life women.
Iām 76 and decided to stop the color 15 years ago. My natural hair color was very dark brunette (attending an all girlsā Catholic high school it was so dark I was asked if I was dyeing my hair – which was not allowed). When I was 61 I decided to stop dyeing. My hairdresser actually used a one step process stripping my hair of all color and going platinum (it was hard on my hair). My husband didnāt know I was doing this and was shocked when I came home!!! I also went with a very short haircut. It took quite a while for it to grow out and needed a few touch-ups during the grow-out phase. While I sometimes feel the gray (almost white) is aging, Iāve learned, from my daughters, that makeup is critical for the overall look. Most of my friends still color their hair, but mostly itās shades that hair doesnāt come in naturally, and itās dull!!! I get complements all the time on my hair. A week doesnāt go by that a stranger doesnāt stop me to say they wish their hair was my color! NOTE: I used to think I had to wear only silver jewelry to match my hair, but I actually like the contrast of gold (and I like bold earrings)! I love bright pinks and corals in lipsticks. My eyebrows are still dark and I fill them in to look fuller using the mascara-like brow enhancer. Bronzer and blush are my friends. It doesnāt take a lot of makeup, just enough to put a little color in your face and to highlight that bright gray or white hair. You just have to OWN IT!!!
I think you are beautiful and I’m quite inspired to go grey after reading your story. We have very similar skin tones and hair so I’m canoodling about it for now. Thanks for the insights.
Thanks so much. Let me know what you decide.
I’m with you! Hang in there – your hair will continue to change as it grows out. I haven’t colored my hair in several years. When I started growing out my dyed color, I thought that the natural hair was dull and boring. I questioned my choice, but did it for a couple of reasons. Mainly, my scalp didn’t like the hair dye, and I lost a lot of hair after each color appointment. Now, around 9 years on, my hair is thicker, healthier and the shine is back. I am frequently complimented on my mix of caramel blonde and white. The texture has changed and I’ve had to change how I style my hair, but I really like it. I hope you’ll love yours too!
My hair is feeling so much healthier now. Iām loving it so far. Thanks for the encouragement.
i am going grey I love it , but i have very thick hair, it is easy and fun.
Iām a natural redhead. When I reached my 40s, however, my hair was losing some of its red, so I started coloring it. Now 70, Iām tired of the time and expense of the upkeep and decided to see what it really looks like. Iāve learned a lot about myself. I became aware of how much of my identity was tied to my hair color. Redheads are easy to spot in a crowd; people call you āRedā and ask about your temperament. Weāre easy to remember ā¦ āthe one with the red hair.ā Iām now about 8 months into it, cut short and have nothing left of my old color. Interestingly, I was expecting white hair, like my granny. Instead, I still have a fair amount of red, now auburn brown, and my āgrayā is a honey blonde and white mix (so my beautician could soften the transition with a gloss). I donāt look gray at all but rather strawberry blonde, give or take depending on the light. My husband loves it. Iām not so sure. Some of the colors I wore so well as a redhead arenāt cutting it, and I havenāt quite got a grip on a new palette. On the up side, I feel more authentic. Iāve given myself permission to be 70-something with figure flaws. I can color my hair, get a tummy tuck and Botox, but Iām still who I am – somewhere between Jennifer Aniston and Betty White.
I love this, thanks for sharing, Jan.
Donāt despair, the early months are no reflection on how well it turns out in the end. I transitioned from brunette to a salt and pepper at age 56 in 2020/1. My hair was brittle and dull and fine until all the dyed bits were gone. I had a pixie in the end to speed up the process and itās more flattering than you think. I would advise washing your hair less often and reducing the amount of styling products – counterintuitive but true. A hydrating nourishing purple shampoo is a must and avoid the sun on your hair. I love my healthy shiny hair which is uniquely mine and I get lots of compliments. Iām growing it out to a chic Bob now.
Thanks for the encouragement, Leslie
I too have fine, stick straight hair that I have been highlighting for quite a few years. I did not make a conscious decision to go gray. It was more of not remembering when I was due for my next highlight appointment and it was summertime. Like you, lighting definitely affects how it looks and how I feel about it! Interestingly, I have two sections on either side of my face that are coming in wavy. I have no idea what is going on there! Looking forward to hearing about the new products that you are trying out.
Wow, wavy would be a big surprise for me too. I’m not as gray as I hoped but I need to finish the process to see what’s really there.
I also developed curly bits at the base of my scalp for the first time ever when I started the transition. I have only ever had dead straight hair. I thought it might be Menopause. I am growing out a pixie and the hair seems to be straightening out though.
The reason I noticed your blog was your hair texture etc. is so similar to mine. I saw you in curlers and I believe curlers are the least damaging way to style my hair. Blow drying and using flat iron damages my hair. Thank you so much. I am thinking I can relate very well to you. Sue
Welcome, Sue. I’m glad you’ve joined us.
Like you, I have fine hair and it tends to be dry and dull. At 60, itās salt & pepper (mostly pepper). Recently, I learned about using avocado oil for dry hair and am so happy with the results. I wash my hair 2-3/times per week. On the days I wash it, I first spritz it with water to allow the oil to penetrate the hair. I apply oil and let it do its thing while I cleanse my face, floss & brush my teeth. In the shower, I rinse my hair for a full minute. I also use natural styling products and find they leave my hair softer, shinier & more manageable. I use Wild Kindness vanilla/coconut shampoo from Rocky Mountain Soap company. I do a light application of conditioner after shampooing & sometimes spray a light, leave-in conditioner. I use Giovanni gel & hairspray for styling. Using the diffuser on my blow dryer with Velcro rollers means less frizz. My hair is wavy.
You look wonderful no matter what color your hair is. I’ve been thinking of going gray also, but have not made the decision, yet, to do so. You give me inspiration. Love all your fashion ideas!
I decided to ājust seeā what my hair would look like if I didnāt color it. Naturally Iām a chestnut brown, years of coloring the last stint being a time consuming expensive coppery brown color. Itās been over 5 years, Iāll be 60 next year and Iām barely salt and pepper, the āsaltā is underneath! Lol! I get a lot of compliments from stylists on the color so itās a no brainer for me. I think itās important to accept the aging process and roll with it as best we can. Good luck on your journey! š
Hi, Jennifer —
I went au naturale during the initial pandemic shutdown when I could not see my hairstylist. I am primarily silver in front, which is the same as 10 years ago when I started coloring and highlighting. The grow out process was slow, and I eventually had it cut super short boy cut to take off the colored ends. I loved that cut! I also have broad shoulders and a strong jawline but I think those are important elements to carry off short hair, as well as a long neck. My style is now longer on top with a side sweep, but definitely short. I use a purple shampoo and wash it about twice per week. Now my stylist loves the way my natural color contrasts with the darker portions, looking almost purposeful. As you say, I think it is softer with my fair skin and blue eyes. I agree that the texture is different than when colored, and I’ve developed more waves. I am pleased to be spending less money and time in the chair, as much as I love my stylist. I just turned 64 and am still working full-time remotely; however, I feel that the silver hair gives me more authority on Zoom calls and when I do go to the office! It’s important to stay stylish and have a quality cut. You can do it!
Thanks for sharing your story, Julia. It’s a process for sure.
For shine, I use Klorane shampoo and conditioner. People comment all the time how shiny my silver/white hair is. And they have several lines for anti-yellowing and aging hair.
I had medium brown hair and went gray about 3 years ago. I too had hoped for silver but I ended up with multiple shades of gray and a streak or two of white. I’m used to my gray hair now and hadn’t noticed much of a texture change until I had COVID last January. I went through several months of “shedding.” Apparently, it’s common after a major illness but I’d never heard of it till it happened to me! It took a few months but now my hair is back to its usual thickness BUT it came back curly! My hairdresser suggested I go with the curl instead of fighting it. I had my bangs and the nape of my neck trimmed 5 weeks ago but the rest of my hair has been growing for 10 weeks. I have an appointment on Thursday and we’ll see what style we end up with. I’m getting compliments so I guess “going with the curl” was the right decision!
How fun to have curls!!
I went grey a while ago, and the product that gives me lift and shine is a professionally-applied clear glaze. It lasts about 4 weeks and will give you more of the volume you want.
I made the change from blond highlights to gray during the pandemic. After the salons reopened my stylist did some gray blending that made the whole thing pretty painless. The biggest shock was the damage to my wardrobe. Loys of warm colors and yellows and camel were donated as they just didnāt work with my hair. A few makeup changes and new tops and I was good to go.
I am already making changes to my wardrobe so this will be a journey
I went grey from my dark hair in 2020. It was quite a process, but Iām so glad I did!!
Good for you and welcome silver sister. The good news is you can always color over it if you don’t like it. Embrace the journey.
xoxo
Jan
Silver is the New BlondeĀ®
Thank you Jan!
I love this article. I have not yet gone grey, but am considering how and when. I appreciate your insight into what impacted your decision on the approach. Thanks so much!!
I’m very happy with my grey hair. Your colouring and mine are very similar. Using blue shampoo seems to enhance the different streaks of grey, white and silver. The shade of lipstick you have on is lovely.
Good for you Jennifer! I think you look great either way. I’m 59 and don’t feel ready to go grey. I am not only a natural brunette but I also have very curly hair. I already sport a pixie cut because it looks best with my very small face/head. I also have grey just in the front and sides so I think it would be very challenging to go grey. I’m ok with dying it for several more years to come. Also my skin tone is very deep and the darker colours look best on me so I’m afraid of how grey would look. I dye my hair myself with a mix of Mahogany/Chestnut and Chestnut. I added the Chestnut to cover the grey better on my hairdresser’s advice. I also use HerbaTint instead of mainstream dye. It’s softer on my delicate scalp.
Many women arenāt ready and I totally applaud you! If Iām not happy with mine, Iāll go back to coloring it.
I stopped coloring my hair at the start of the pandemic when I knew I wouldn’t be traveling any more for a while. I felt like the constant coloring was damaging my hair and I was tired of the upkeep. I had that awful line (my hair was brown) for a while and then my hair started growing at different rates and blending well. Now that it’s mostly grown out, the texture is so much better, but I’ve been worried about how thin or flat my hair seems now after it was so full all my life. Thank you for explaining about what bleach does to your hair! That’s a relief to know.
Good luck on your journey. Going natural is a process, but I find it rewarding. No more highlighting visits every six weeks! My mom had gorgeous silver hair and I always hoped for the same. Mine seems to be more salt and pepper, with more salt in the front and pepper in the back. I saw a picture of me from behind recently and even asked who it was! Never realized how much darker my shade is on the back of my head. Still holding out for Momās silver.
On the topic of aging, I agree that extreme coloring isnāt flattering as we age. It seems to sharpen facial lines. I suppose a few strategic highlights could help for those of us who canāt go full grey.
Yes I went gray 2 years ago with covid. My hairdresser used a toner to help with the transition. I used to have brown hair and had been dying but for 29; years. I know have tones of light gray dark gray and silver. I use a purple shampoo one a week. I do have a pixie cut. Works great for me. I also wear glasses a light shade of lavender to make things for interesting. I agree with you that the friends who are dying their hair dark do look older and the hair looks so stressed. So glad I made the change. Hope you like it as well
Good luck to you during this process! I hope you will discover that after you stop coloring it is so liberating! I am a brunette salt and pepper color.My hair stylist told me I look older going grey, and I resisted her suggestion to keep coloring – it’s so much work…and Expen$ive! You mighjt want to look at a group on Facebook called Beauty Reinvented. It’s a very supportive group and they have many suggestions on products, styles, confidence, etc. For hair products check the Verb line, available on Amazon or at their website. Their Ghost Oil is great for adding shine. all the best to you!
I have gone “natural” for a few years now. My medium brown hair has turned silver in the front but is quite dark still at the back of my head! I like it, although in some pics I look like Cruella Deville!! I bought a silver enhancing shampoo and conditioner which are quite purple, and my hairdresser says to use them sparingly (2 a week at most) as they will turn my silver hair purple!
I’ve been going grey for more than two decades! Like you, I thought I’d let it go grey and then decide if I liked it or if I should colour it. Only problem is, it’s never finished going grey! Forget salt and pepper… mine is the whole spice rack! It’s hard to describe, but I actually really like it and have received many compliments including from hairdressers!
LOL, that’s a great way to describe the range of colors.
For many years Iāve had highlights and lowlights added to my brown hair to cover the grey. Three months ago I decided that I was ready to go natural and had just a few highlights added. Iām very interested in learning about the products to use on grey hair and hope youāll share more of your experiences with different products.
I started to grow out my grey in 2018. I was a brunette but dyed my hair blonde. I had an ugly demarcation line but chose not to do transitional color because I was reacting to the dye and that is one reason why I stopped dying in the first place.
It is tough to create volume without dye. I have tried a lot of products and so far the best option for me is dry shampoo and mousse at the roots before blow drying.
I need more bronzer, blush and lipstick to get the same glow my blonde hair gave me.
I love my gray hair, but it has been a journey of self acceptance. It’s not easy to embrace the change. Many people have not been supportive. I think if more women stopped colouring it might be easier?? I don’t judge those who still color but I am glad I am not on that hamster wheel anymore. There’s a real sense of personal power in making the decision, I feel authentic.
Instagram has lots of great support at #silversisters #silverhair #grombre #grayhair #greyhair
Good luck! I think you look great and I love your hair style
I am needing stronger lipstick for sure these days and dry shampoo is still my best friend for root lift. I have zero patience for anyone who would not support a woman’s decision to color or not color her hair. It’s her right to do what she wants.
I am what my mother called “dirty dishwater” blonde, not light blonde but with many natural highlights. Eventually I started highlighting my hair. In my mid 60’s I just got tired of it (and the money spent!) and went natural. Best thing I ever did! My hair is naturally lighter in the front around my face and I love it. When people ask me who colors my hair I tell them God does. I feel my hair is healthier, too, without the chemicals. And yes, being natural blonde does make the transition easier.
Just today I got a compliment on my ānatural highlightsā. š I was always an ashy brunette so I loved my warm highlights to brighten up my look. But in the end, I didnāt want to be a slave to coloring my hair. When the grow out got long enough I did the chop from long hair to a bob. I still think about going backā¦but donāt think I ever will.
I stopped heavily highlighting my hair about 4 years ago because it was looking to warm and brassy. The change has been great. The gray keeps coming in but it seems to feel just right for what’s going on with my skin tone. I’m so happy I stopped doing it because of how it looks, but also to be done with the chemicals, it just feels better for me. Good luck, I bet it’s going to look great when it’s finally all in and you’ll find products that work for you, you’re great at that! And if you don’t like it, you can change it!!
Well here we go with the “go grey” thing again…..I sincerely hope it goes well for you. I have straight fine hair but lots of it and I currently get blonde highlights. I get the highlights because I really have NO grey to go to…..just blah not anything colour….not blonde, not brown just sort of blah taupe. I soooo hoped that I would get my Grandfather’s pure snow white hair but no such luck.
Women of a certain age used to be looked down on because they were grey….I certainly hope we don’t swing to the other side of the pendulum and look down on women who continue to colour their hair…..could we just let everyone do the best with what they have?
Yes, we must celebrate every woman’s decision about her hair!! I fear I may not have enough either so that’s why I m growing it out.
I started going gray last year. My hair is coming out about 50% gray and 50% light brown. I bought temporary dye from Overtone to help make the roots less noticeable. It lasts about a week and they have a lot of colors. This year I started experimenting with colors and currently am dyeing my hair dark blue, which makes the gray blue and leaves the brown a purple color. I love it! Lots of people (mostly young) have complimented me, others just look at me funny but don’t say a word!
How fun!!! Bravo Janet
Good Morning,
Relish your gray hair, you silver foxes out there. It is so much better for the hair particularly your scalp, to go natural, not continually coloured as I found out a few years ago. It is more other people’s perception of you as an ‘old’ person with gray hair but that ash colour has been very popular with younger people for quite a while now. I use the purple shampoos and they will bring shine to your hair. Probably for me, a really good style cut is the answer, not to let it get too long and brassy on the ends. I looked up lots of cuts for women over 50 on the internet until I found what I was comfortable with. You still need that fabulous relationship with your hairdresser. Good luck everyone on your silver fox journeys.
I use an inexpensive hairspray called Freeze it and it has optical brighteners which seem to add shine but not oiliness to my hair, but it is stiff. I have had blond hair all of my life, dark blonde in winter since I didn’t spend time out in the sun in winter, and much blonder in summer when I used to be outside. Now since I have knee problems I spend very little time outside, and have had so much time with various places healing after knee surgeries, and a problem left over by one of the knee surgeries, and lately eye surgery that takes a very long time to heal. I used to cheat and use a home coloring blonde touch up color when my hair got too grey at the temples are too dark at the roots. I haven’t been able to do that in about a year, either wounds I didn’t want to get hair color in as I rinsed my hair in the shower and now my healing eye
surgery,which I am not even supposed to get plain water in. My hair is now a light brown with very light sprinklings of white straight hair throughout, but quite a bit under my hair where it doesn’t show much at my temples. When my eye is completely healed I will color those white temples with light brown touch up color. I sure liked my blonde hair better, but this brown is so much easier than my home hair color. One problem is that this very plain light brown hair just isn’t complemented by my clothes that went with blonde,and my complexion looks washed out, I think I need some peppier blusher and lipstick. Maybe my complexion is washed out from having macular hole surgery and being in my 6th week of healing with a gas bubble in my eye. Maybe in about 3 weeks when the bubble is gone, I will feel better and some of my color may come back to my cheeks. When I pass a mirror it still surprises me to see my brown hair.
I’m so sorry Susie. You’ve had a really rough time!! I think a brighter cheery lipstick is definitely in order for you! Sending healing thoughts your way!
Your hair color looks great! I went grey at 56 about 8 years ago and love it! It’s freeing and very glamorous and classy! Embrace the grey ā¤
I have been going gray for about four years. Iām more pepper than salt. I wish it would just go gray. I thought I would quickly. My dadās whole family grayed early. I must take after my mom. She didnāt go to totally gray until her seventies. Iām 62, and I want pretty white hair like one of my auntās had. She was my dadās sister of course. Iām hoping I can get that way some day.
Thanks for sharing this journey, Jennifer! My hair color, texture and length is similar to yours. I also debated going natural during COVID, when I found that my color (blond, with highlights and lowlights) didnāt look all that different as it grew out. Like you, I missed the volume and went back to highlights, but changed my appointment schedule to more cuts and fewer highlights. Iām still toying with the idea of stoping altogether. With the volume from the highlights also comes a certain dullness and lack of shine. I find the same thing occurs with volumizing products, since they rough up the hair. Even though itās counter intuitive, I find using hydrating products and a tiny bit of Moroccan oil for light hair at the ends work much better for my fine hair.
Good for you! A little over 3 years ago I walked into the salon to get color followed by highlightsāwhen I sat down with my stylist and friend I said āI think Iām done.ā We decided to cut my hair a little shorter, forget the color and go heavy on the highlights. No one ever noticed the demarcation line. I havenāt look back. Like you my hair is fine and straight as a stick. Also like you, I missed the body I got from color. I had to change products, now I use good old Paul Mitchell Shampoo One, every two weeks I use Paul Mitchell Cream shampoo to get rid of built up hair products. I use Redken Hardware when I blow out my hair, followed by a spritz of Paul Mitchell Clean Light hairspray. I give myself a Redken CAT treatment every two weeks. Thatās the best formula for my hair, it also keeps my hair shiny. Now on to the good news, for the first time in my entire life people tell me what beautiful hair I have. Also, I seem to have about 25% more hair than I used toāyay! FWIW, Iām 68 with pure white hair and dark eyebrows.
Jennifer. I only noticed that your hair is longer. I have highlights but I quit coloring the base three years ago. My natural color has many different colors in it and using a base color made my hair full and one dimensional. I only have what they call a sunburst which is just on the top layer The gray is a whiteish and is in my bangs and at my temples. The same spots my natural hair would get sun bleached to almost white in the summer. I actually use sun in on the crown to pop it up a bit. My hair is golden so it works for me. I can live with this just fine.
I am 52 and had wanted to go natural for a few years. When COVID hit I decided to go for it and thankful I did. I colored my hair a medium brown so I had the skunk line but I have been working from home, and just threw on a hat when I went out, it was an easy transition. I stopped coloring in March 2020 and in December 2020 my hair was long enough to cut the very little colored hair that was left off. I have very thick hair but it was course when I colored it. My hair has actually gotten thicker and it is so soft now, I love it. My hair is so healthy without all the chemicals! I would suggest sticking with it for at least 9 months. I have pretty nice silver, shiny hair but when I really want it to shine I use the Aveda Brilliant line of products, the finishing gloss really brings out the sparkle. I think you would look great in a Diane Keaton ‘Somethings Got to Give’ hairstyle, the layers would help the fine hair. Best of luck to you, you can do it!
Thanks Kate
I for one are with you on going gray. Only four months in but like my new color.
Seeing lots of gals around me also following the gray trend. Your hair looks good!
A year ago I was coloring my hair weekly to keep in looking good over the holidays. January, I decided to let my stylist put in highlights. A year later, I get lowlights every three months to keep it from looking too flat. It is growing longer with side swept bangs instead of my usual pixie cut. I expected to have white hair like my sister has had most of her adult life. Instead it is a platinum blond. My husband loves my hair. Everyone tells me that it makes me look younger. Now, my hair is in a bob that is almost to my shoulders. I have the hair I always wanted when I was younger. I have adjusted my products. I use purple shampoo weekly and I have added some product for volume at the top. My hair has always been fairly thick with lots of volume, but now I have to help it along more.
I went gray several years ago and like you, I was blonde with highlights, so the demarcation was not as great as other people I knew who had darker hair. My gray, though, was very white which washed me out. I had my colorist start putting in a few darker strands to give it some depth and not appear all one color. But when I recently saw pictures of myself at my daughter’s wedding shower, I felt I looked drab and I knew I didn’t want to be gray for her wedding. So I went back to my medium blonde with highlights look for her wedding…and I was glad I wasn’t gray for the wedding pictures.
Yes…embracing my grey, which isn’t grey at all, but white. I’m a natural mid-tone blonde like my Dad was, and he literally has Santa Clause hair now : shoulder length, curly and white as snow. I still get a few salon-blended highlights which adds a little more sparkle to my head. I’m about 30% white now, and secretly wish it was 100%!
I do understand that feeling. Iām sorry I donāt have more gray.
I allowed my natural color to grow in during the pandemicās 2020 isolation. It was hard. I did it because it was an opportune time and because coloring my hair was getting harder and harder on my hair. I tried purple shampoo for awhile but am preferring a shampoo and conditioner formulated for fine hair-no other products . I now wear a simple bob cut with thin wispy bangs and a bit of wedge in back which helps give the effect of more fullness than I really haveāI dry my hair almost dry with a comb blower and then set it in foam Velcro rollers to encourage fullness and spray lightly. I may not love the gray but Iām never going back to coloring.
Jenniferā¦your hair is just fine! Really, just fine!
Iāve had gray”ish” hair for 35 years and it is Snow White now at 71!
Iāve NEVER colored my hair(yet)! Believe it or not! And my hair stylist refuses! Lol!
I find that I cannot use conditioner at all on this fine hair. I use Nutrogena shampoo to keep it white. Blue shampoo didnāt work, ever! I use pretty cheap, yes, cheap, hairspray on damp hair and then scrunch it up. Less product keeps it light and styled.
I keep a long shaggy pixie cut with lots of Texturizing! It is sooo wash and goā¦.so easy.
My hair always added to my credibility in my education careerā¦a trade off??
Keep up the great work of being honest with us!!
i have darker hair and decided years ago to go to my natural color!! My grandmother had white hair and my mother silver hair!! Low and behold, I thought I was much grayer than I am!! I still have my dark hair with silver/gray around hairline and sides. Itās natural and I keep expecting it to get grayer and it doesnāt!! Enjoy your journey. You may be surprised at the outcome!!
Your post resonates with me – during the Covid shutdown in 2020 I decided I would go gray – there would never be a better time. It took about 8 months and really wasnāt too bad – I have dark hair that I always highlighted so I never really had the severe demarcation line. There were definitely some interesting stages though; I laughed at yourāI could be mistaken for a woman who has given upā remark! There are apparently several stages that we go through when deciding to go gray and one of them is not caring what other people think. Almost two years later, I couldnāt be happier – I was really tired of the expense. I use a couple special products but havenāt gone too crazy. I have a lot of hair so I donāt really need much help. Iām apparently a true salt and pepper which is how brunettes go gray – Iām guessing I will eventually be white but maybe not for a few years. I couldnāt agree more about the women who color their hair looking older – nature must have know what she was doing, we just couldnāt see it at the time. Good luck and donāt give up!
You natural hair color is lovely! Of course the gray sweater just really brings it out more. I’m still dyeing and okay with it for now. I only have gray at the temples at this point, but super fine hair like yours. One day…
Looking forward to hearing your product review for what you’re trying now.
I was born with dirty blond color hair , of course my brother had the platinum blond hair color, go figure ? When I reached adulthood I had my hair stylist frost my hair and this continued for 30 some years. Finally on a monthly trip to the hair salon the stylist advised me my hair had finally become naturally frosted. I was thrilled ….. money saved, of course. Now that I shall becone 90 years old on my next birthday my hair is completely white and thin and fine. I wear it short but still go to the beauty parlor ever so often to have it styled. So….. you go for it . š
Timely subject for me and interested to start reading all the comments! I started a few months ago to let my natural hair come in. Both my mother and grandmother had gorgeous white hair so I am hoping mine will follow suit. I have one haircut to go as I have it in a pixie and so far Iām liking it. Canāt wait to get the final brown cut off. My daughter, who is a hairdresser, has been urging me to do it for awhile now but I wasnāt ready until this winter when I knew I wouldnāt be going out a lot and could always throw on a touque when I did. Lol. Iāve got to say itās freeing to not have to worry about roots all the time!
Hello, Your hair looks great, very natural and pretty. An apple cider vinegar and water, half and half, rinse after shampooing has worked for me to help with shine. Take care, Betty
Thanks for sharing your journey that I am also on. I’d been thinking about going gray for all the reasons you shared. I kept thinking back to an article in a magazine I saw years ago, it followed a woman who had colored her hair a medium brown and went gray. She was far more attractive with her gray, which all makes sense now. I have short hair, colored it medium brown, and was hoping for a quicker transition. I’m anxious for the highlights, that were done to help with the transition, and some of the original brown to be gone. I appreciate everyone sharing their journey which is inspiring for me to stick with it. I will say it is really freeing to not be worried about my ‘skunk’ line.
Hello its Carole from Roseville….I recommend trying Glimmer Shine by Moroccan Oil. It adds a bit of shine. After styling your hair, just spray on. Worth a try!
I waited to go gray until my hairdresser and I felt that most of my hair had changed. Then, I think I just let it grow out. May have gone to a pixie cut to get rid of color. It’s been a while; I don’t really remember.
Try Davines Volume Boosting mousse, I have baby fine hair in a pixie cut. It gives texture without feeling sticky or losing the shine. Sounds like it may feel like your hair when it had been colored. I have never used hair products because I donāt like how it makes my hair feel but I love this! I support you going grey, I agree most women look so much better in their natural color.
Another subject close to my heart. Thin fine hair has been the bane of my life.
No swinging shining ponytail, no long hairdos for me. Especially tough I have a crown in the back and the hair grows to the east, west, south and north of it leaving a nearly bald spot. I was a natural strawberry blonde and Ive got grey in there now.
Still doing a few low lights for body.
Iāve not noticed a change in your colour yet. Always ready for product tips.
I thought about going gray during the pandemic. When I finally went to my hair stylist, he said that it will add 10 years to my age. Decided I looked old enough and dyed my hair again. Because your hair was light, you still look good!
I donāt think you are supposed to use the purple shampoo every day, only once a week. If used too often it can give your hair a lilac tint!
I was wondering if you were making the transition to gray. I did it three years ago and it is so worth it! Whatever color mother nature gives you, it will be flattering. I agree with you that the women who have gone gray look softer and younger compared to the harsh look of dyed hair. Transitioning to your natural color is definitely a journey. There are new ways to take care of your virgin hair as well as choosing new makeup and clothing colors to create the authentic you. My hair seemed dull while it was growing out, but now is healthy and shiny. Enjoy your journey and hang in there!
Iām so glad to hear yours looked full during the grow out too!! Iām relieved.
You look great in the photos! I think you will like the effects once you grow out all the hair that you had colored.
I went fully gray about nine years ago after a disastrous bleach job! At first I had snarky comments that my hair was āagingā me. One woman gave me her hairdressers phone number.
I tossed the aging comments off because I have always been honest about my age with everyone and am not bothered by it. I am 68.
It took a good two full years to grow out the damaged hair. Soon I began to see platinum blonde around my face and spreckled around the rest of my head and I get compliments on it now!
So hang in there, see what Mother Nature has in mind for you and donāt apologize for it!
Hi Jennifer, I also have gone grey and I love it! Iāve received many compliments on my new color! I would like to know did you change your makeup color palette? Are you now choosing lighter colors or darker in makeup colors? Love your blog, you always have such good ideas!
Barbara
I was originally a strawberry blonde, very Irish looking with a fair amount of red in my hair. It was always and still is very fine and straight. I went natural a few years ago and never looked back. The red got less and less and now Iām completely platinum. Even my hairdresser recently asked if Iād added a blonde colour. I love it and get many compliments. I wear it simply in a longish bob.
I love your blog Jennifer and think you always look great.
Thank you Jen
I would like to get my colors done in person. Do you know of any companies that service the north bay specifically Santa Rosa California?
I do. Please send me an email at [email protected]
I decided before COVID that I’d had enough of trying to be a redhead and go back to the orginal brownish blonde. Wow! there was lots of gray in the mix. But since I wasn’t going out and about for the foreseeable future, I just said pooh and let it grow out. There’s been lots of disliking, lots of pinning and prodding and product in the hair. However, it did grow out and my stylist finally convinced me to go short and sassy with the natural curl that was hiding there all along! Now it’s many colors with a healthy handful of gray and silver “wisdom lites”, and it’s also wash and wear. I get so many compliments, funny, especially from young women asking where I go for my “highlights”. I’m so glad I did it, now. But it took over a year (!!) before I felt comfortable with this choice. I’m wishing you lots of luck with it – it certainly does take time and a great stylist. But I also think you’re a beautiful lady and you’ll will find yourself embracing that!
Thanks so much Kathleen
Hi Jennifer, I can totally relate to this post as I too have recently chosen to let my hair colour grow out and see what the grey looks like. and like you I have fine hair. So far the front and top is quite a nice silver but the back is much darker and I still have quite a bit of dye to grow out. I also had my hair cut really short which, although I’m not thrilled with it, has proved to be a good choice because of my arthritis in my hands and wrists.
I think your hair looks lovely and the style suits you well. Good luck with the transition.
I went gray years ago. As a child I was a brunette. I got my first gray hair in middle school. When I was in my late 30’s after home coloring it brown, I went to a hairdresser and ended up blonde. Because my hair ranged from brown to white, the new color ranged from pale blonde to honey blonde so it wasn’t a solid one color. After a few years of that and tired of the upkeep, I grew it out and found it easy. Went to my hairdresser once and I can’t describe exactly what he did, added some low lights I think. After a little while I cut my shoulder length hair to a chin length bob. I never had a demarcation line. Think of it this way. Our heads are sort of round like a ping pong ball so the hair from the nape of the neck to the top is all growing, but the underneath layers grow out first. It will be interesting to see how this goes for you. Once it has grown out, you may add some highlights to give you some body without as much upkeep. I am very supportive of whatever choice a woman makes. My main problem is thinning due to thyroid, oh well, it’s always something …
My thyroid wrecks havoc on my hair too š
Jennifer
Your hair is very similar to mine as to thickness and texture. I even showed a picture of you to my stylist. She recommended fewer layers and gave me a shoulder-length bob. It works because I like to wear my hair pulled back with a bit of height (slight tease w/spray) on days I don’t want to style it. I don’t need to do the whole routine.
Light hair is washing me out and I have gone slightly darker. Much better. So consider your skin color and look at pictures of yourself. I looked older with light hair and yes older women get treated differently. Some women look great going gray and I admire that. Not for me.
The shower filter also helps your skin stay soft …less chemicals.
Iām going to get a shower filter.
Several years ago I saw a group of ladies having lunch, 15 of them. I noticed the same thing. Those with gray hair looked so much better. I stopped dyeing my hair that very day. So thankful I did.
Welcome to the āSilver Sisterhoodā. As a brunette my cold turkey journey was a little harder but now that itās over I can honestly say I wish I had embraced this part of aging years ago!
During Covid I kept noticing so many attractive women sporting silver hair and I decided just to go with it as self colour can look so artificial and it was the only option. Bonus I can go longer between cuts, shorter time in salon and needless to say less than half the cost!! Hair much healthier now as well.
I have become a “silver sister” and I’m glad I did. I figured out I was spending at least 40+ hours a year coloring it. I have noticed that it is sparkly in the sunlight, which is kind of cool. I have changed my color palette- I was a light auburn brown, and now I find that oranges are too much, where reds, purples and blues look pretty good, as well as grey, black and silver. I use a purple shampoo also, and while my hair is poker straight, it has the texture of fishing line (think “BOING” straight out if cut too short.) I have a short pixie, and I’m delighted- I wear dangling earrings, and I feel sassy. Hope this helps!
I regret not using the almost 2 years of COVID-at-home to go gray, but this month I surprised my stylist by stopping her before she went to mix the color: I’m now going gray and am so excited to see how it goes. As you said, I can always start coloring again if not happy with what I see, but I feel as if I’m definitely ready for this step. Both my mother and sister ended up with beautiful gray/white locks, so I’m hopeful the genes hold. This recent photo of Kristin Scott Thomas certainly didn’t hurt! https://www.vogue.com/article/kristin-scott-thomas-has-embraced-the-silver-hair-trend
I let my hair grow out about 4 months.
Did not work well.
My hairstyles told me I had way to much dark in streaks with made me look skunk-ish so I did go back to color and highlights.
However, I would like to give it a try again. Hopefully with success this time.
Do what makes you feel confident! If I donāt like this result, Iāll go back to color.
I think with your coloring you will be a Silver Fox.
I’m not a hair dresser, but I suspect a good/honest one would say that going natural takes some help. A woman may find that to look fabulous, not frumpy, a good, modern cut, maybe a temporary rinse/shampoo a few highlights is needed. Luckily, at the moment, anything goes as far as hair color is concerned.
I went gray at 62. I was just not a brown-haired girl any more. I do have curly hair in a pixie cut and my advise is to just not look in the mirror. Over the years people have complimented me and asked if I loved it. My answer is I’m okay with it but I do love not having to color it. Funny things I noticed were men were friendlier and seemed to think I needed help and women said they could never do it. Good luck to you Jennifer and thanks for sharing your experience.
Hi Jennifer!
I am like you in that I have fine hair, was always a blonde and went grey, started with streaks, as my hairdresser said it would give my hair body, nope ā¦..just was a big expense , so now I have a beautiful natural light grey color and it is my shining glory, even tho I have fine thin hair the color is what I love. I cannot use conditioner in my hair as it drags it down. I hope you have the same results. I am ten years older than you but it is so easy nowā¦.I have shorter hair than you , and personally I think you will find it easier. But one drastic change at a time. Hard to do over the holidays and in your business.
Good luck, Sue
I havenāt notice your changing hair color at all…you always look so attractive!
Like you, I decided to go gray because of increased brassiness in my highlights that did nothing for my light, cool skin tone. The cold turkey grow-out was started shortly before the pandemic took over our lives, so I am fully converted now. I love it! Much better for my natural coloring. I ended up with multi-colored streaks of taupe brown and silver. Itās funny…I get many compliments and questions about where I am getting my hair color done! BTW, I refused toner during the grow-out period because I feared I would then be growing out toner. So thatās my story. Good luck to you. I bet youāll love it!
And have a Merry Christmas!
Thanks for sharing. That why I refused the toner too
I will not go gray until I absolutely have no choice. I have light brown hair with low and hi lites. Unless one has beautiful silver or white hair it just looks old. In my opinion good hair color is the easiest most affordable way to look fresh.
Looks like you will have some fun streaks of silver…and call it “silver,” not grey. You stylist can suggest products to give you shine without weighing your fine hair down. I went “cold turkey” a few years back and did go short to make the transition from auburn color and brownette natural hair. My stylist worked with me throughout the transition. I’m still only silver in the front. As the transition progresses, I noticed that I needed more saturated color in my life and clothes. AND I WONDERED WHY I HADN’T DONE THIS SOONER! Have strong heart and investigate CHI hair products for volume and shine. They have worked for me. And no, I’m just a civilian…not a hair products rep!
Thanks! Iām gravitating to brighter colors too
Twenty years ago, I became much more aware of living a healthy and more natural lifestyle. One day, I realized applying chemicals to my hair and scalp didnāt fit with this way of living. Since then, Iāve embraced my natural hair colour as itās changed through the years, even though, like you, my fine, straight hair is a challenge. Iām so happy I made that decision, and I hope youāll be happy with yours, too.
I like what I see with your transition to gray…I wonder if you’ve heard of a hairspray named: Kenra, #25 is the volume one. I use it as I have the EXACT same hair you do, just not gray, yet; however, I have lost about 1/3 of my hair! My daughter is a very good stylist at an expensive salon and she has also, had me on a product for daily shampooing and conditioning by the name of: Kerastase’ Densifique. My hair is shiny now and has real body. Not sure if it’s meant for gray; but, I’m sure they have a quality treatment for gray hair as well if it isn’t. Also! Go with the toner and/or platinum highlights! It may give you the similar body and volume you had prior to growing out gray. Good luck to you and I enjoy you posts a great deal.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with thinning too! Thanks for being here an sharing
Yes I am letting my hair grow out after coloring for many years. I was about three years out and then put color back in. I have had five surgeries this year, and with all the medication, lack of exercise, my entire body has taken a direct hit, including my hair…. like you I have fine, thin hair and I thought the color would give me some body, now it is back to salt and pepperā¦. more salt than pepperš¤£š¤£š¤£ good luck with your hair journey!! Have a great weekend Jennifer
Love reading all the comments. This is a very timely piece for me too. I am growing my hair in from chemo. I have always colored my wavy hair brown with a red tint. My hair came in grey and super curly. I had it colored when there was finally enough. My colorist chose a light brown color. I liked it at first but now I think I will embrace the grey. I have an appointment for color but I will either have her put in highlights to help it blend or just go for some conditioning and shine treatment. Gray curly hair has no shine so waiting to hear what product you find to help. My colors have changed and like others, I am struggling to figure out what my new. colors are. Loved your color value post but still not sure what I am.
Love your hair. Congratulations! I am afraid to grow mine out. It is colored brown…………
I really had not noticed any difference in your hair color … it always looks nice. I am going gray naturally and at 76 I have a lot of my natural brown color highlighted by the gray strands. It actually makes my hair more interesting that it was when I was younger. However, the texture of the strands of gray (particularly around my hairline) is weird and unruly and requires constant attention or it goes nuts! I’m allergic to most fragrances and many products so I no longer use body perms or dare to try color and my baby fine hair is a challenge. After a lifetime of poker straight baby fine hair I now have strange waves showing up that have a mind of their own so I’m growing out my shorter cut to hopefully get more control of these wayward beings.
I decided to stop highlighting a little over a year ago. I was born with black, curly hair which fell out and I became a towhead with fine, straight hair. I began highlighting in my late 20s. For most for my adult life my hair has been a lighter brown with the highlights. At 63 I decided to stop coloring. I have discovered that I have very little gray. But what has happened is my hair has become a very dark brown with light strands of gray. I donāt know what to do with my makeup and clothes with this dark hair. Iām on a fixed
Income and am unable to get a color analysis. I used To be a Summer. Maybe I should be wearing more saturated colors, closer to Winters. My hair has become thinner as Iāve aged. I have to use a product that fills in where my scalp shows. I thought Iād be adjusting to gray, not to being a dark brunette. What a surprise!
A natural brunette, I started getting gray hair in my late 30’s. For awhile I colored it with non permanent color to cover the gray. It looked pretty snappy. However, as I turned 42, I looked in the mirror and gasped as I realized I looked harsh, older than I was and… my hair looked like a helmet head, like a bucket. Next I switched to low lights and this was brilliant until by the end of the year I had a million colors of brown which was really unattractive. I had to constantly cover it because I had a “skunk” line at my part. That is the dilemma brunettes face in going grey. I got sick of being in the beauty parlor wasting time and money on a look that was artificial and did not enhance my look one bit. I took the leap, cut it as short as I could without going pixie and let Mother Nature take over. I have not regretted going with my natural color one bit – I look much younger and softer and am thrilled with the color. I am now 70.
I have very fine and thin hair. I wear it in a longish bob (slightly below my chin) without layers, with thin curtain bangs to soften my face.
Big Tip: I use Dr. Bonners bar soap (peppermint or lavender) to wash it and have found that to be perfect. No harsh chemicals, no creme rinse necessary – my hair shines like I was a child. It seems to have just the right combination of oils and cleaner for my hair type. If you make this switch, your hair will feel odd the first washing or two, sort of tangled, but don’t give up, you’re getting rid of the coating all of your shampoo and creme rinse has coated your hair with.
Jennifer, don’t give up. I think you will love your natural color.
āŗļø
I’m tired of the chemicals too but hadn’t realized how much it really mattered until I started reading all your comments.
The last time I had low lights/highlights was a year ago November. I like the varied colour of my hair. It has some white, silver, grey. Quite a mishmash! I did go shorter but then it suits me. Not everyone looks good in a pixie. It can look a touch masculine on some. I leave the back wispy so it is still feminine. I love the ease of a short cut and no long visits to the salon getting colour. I use purple shampoo and conditioner every other day.
I follow freshbeauty on Instagram. She has beautiful grey hair, expert advice on skin care & makeup plus a killer sense of humour. Check her out!
I will check her out! Thanks
Hi Dear Jennifer!
Growing older is not for the faint of heart and at the same time a great privilege! I recently turned 62 and have officially out lived my mother, so I am aware of the blessing of growing older.
I have had some gray since my early 20ās and spent a lot of money coloring and highlighting for almost 40 years! I retired February 29th last year just as Covid hit. Perfect time to try growing out the gray! It was not easy and I did let my hairdresser convince me to layer in color to grow the gray out in a less harsh way. Big mistake! My recommendation is donāt put any color on your hair until the color is completely grown out. I also have coarse hair to begin with so I have never had shiny hair.
I now have hair that is beautiful with white and gray with its own highlights. Makeup is our friend with changes in our hair and skin tone. We are blessed to have so many makeup options in our lives!
I am so grateful for your posts and your hair is looking gorgeous!
Thank you Sharon. My pale coloring has always benefited by my wearing makeup so Iāll just keep on keeping on. Thanks for the encouragement.
I stopped coloring my hair about 5 years ago and love it now. So stay strong.
I went platinum in my early 30ās. I was getting streaks at the time, do you remember those Jennifer? My Stylist said he was putting in less and less streaks so we should let it go and see what happens. I wore a bob for a number of years and a few years ago, again on the advice of my Stylist, I went to a pixie cut and love it. I use Oribe products on my hair a couple of times a week to keep the platinum bright and shiny. I never noticed any difference in your colour Jennifer. Your transition has been very natural and definitely suits you.
I took the plunge about 5 1/3 years ago when I turned 65. I have embraced the purple shampoo and go for cuts and lowlifhts mire often than before. Treat it like a privilege.I like getting lowlights in every two months or so as it adds pizzazz. There are many more going grey so that makes it easier for us.
BOO-YAH for you! For yrs and yrs I struggled with “red” hair in an attempt to cover greys. Circumstances prevailed and I found myself (horrors of horrors) grey!!!! After the initial use of smelling salts, I realized how great my hair looked (with a great hairstyle and makeup change). Shock of shocks, I still get compliments, and, its been 3yrs since “the change”. I even have 2 GREYhounds !! Embrace the color!!
Lol!
No more sitting at the hairdressers for hours getting your hair coloured and paying big dollars. I also noticed a huge difference to hair loss. Hardly any hair falls out now. This process will be easier for you with light coloured hair. Youāll be happy to have healthy hair again.
If less hair falls out Iāll be thrilled!
in about 2018 I let my hair grow out Cold Turkey. I had colored it for years and imagined that underneath I would have beautiful silver hair. My natural coloring pre-gray was always my best feature: black hair and fair coloring, blue eyes. I am now 73 and have interesting silver streaks but mostly dark in the back and crown! Who knew. A lot less work and I kind of like it. And you are right – it is much less harsh and no brassiness. I would attach a photo if I could…..
It sounds beautiful!
I embraced my curly hair this year. After wearing it straightened or blown out for 20 years, wanted to see if I could adapt to it. Several you tubes later, and my style is perfecting. Love the freedom of being different. My hair is naturally ash blonde, no gray yet!, and is highlighted, but not colored. One of many adjustments in my later years š
PS i love your content!
I started growing out my hair during the quarantine. I havenāt had my natural color since I was 17 years old. I am a hairdresser for 52 years, now retired. I never thought I would let my hair be gray. But here I am 71 years old with silver hair around my face and nape of my neck, shocking! My natural color is much darker than I remember, but I like it. I feel free. My husband really likes it, not sure what my friends and family REALLY think! But I am embracing the new me!
Yes, I went completely gray at age at 55 and am happy about it. I did have to adjust my clothing and make-up but it was a smooth transition. I won’t be going back to coloring my hair every 6 weeks.
I think the color looks great, Jennifer!
Like you I have very fine hair, and have hesitated to let the natural color take over in part because I’d lose the volumizing effects of color. Hope you’re able to find some products that work for you!
What a great post! I went gray during Covid, and what a relief to skip the monthly color process. I noticed that my part was looking a little wide, and at my daughter’s recommendation started using the Multi-Peptide Serum for Hair Density by The Ordinary Hair Care. It really works. My hair is nearly white in the front, salt and pepper in the back. I’m still a “winter,” but look best in very saturated blues and greens — black not so much anymore.
Thanks for your daily advice. I read a number of “over 50” blogs, and yours is by far the most useful and enlightening.
I think you and I have very similar skin tones and possibly hair type. For the latter I wear a style as Susan (below) describes but may be even shorter in the back which I find extremely easy to keep. As to color; I do dye my hair myself and have for years (L’Oreal Preference Scandinavie) a light blonde but as I have gray coming in does not resemble what one sees on the box as more of a silver blonde. Products I use that have proven beneficial are that of the AG brand which actually Amazon now carries. (AG Hair Color Care Sterling Silver Toning Shampoo (its purple) as well as their Conditioner ‘Light’ Therapy.) On that note; I convinced a friend of mine who has much darker natural and coarser hair with streaks of gray to try the same products and she is so pleased with the results that she has decided to let nature takes its course and go entirely gray. -Brenda-
I have followed your “hair story” for quite some time vis a vis the thinning issue and products to try. Letting my hair go natural is the best thing I’ve ever done (despite a few issues.) After open heart surgery at age 78, necessitating a longer time between salon visits resulting in a demarcation line, I decided to just give it a try. My natural hair color was very dark brunette but I’d been coloring in various ways since my mid 30’s. At the time of surgery the color was a auburn shade and the length was quite short. My last color was Dec. 26, 2017, and the next time in the salon was 12 weeks later. I wanted to grow it out as quickly as possible so went with an even shorter hair cut (kind of spiked) and kept it trimmed until the color grew out in July. I didn’t like the fading color nor did I like the super short cut but I did love my natural color. It turned out to be white in front going to silver on top and kind of a silver/white mix in back. I did NOT enjoy the lack of body after the color was gone but did let my hair grow. Finally after about 6 months, there was enough hair to choose a style in late 2018….kind of a short bob…shorter in back than in front and layers on top help a bit to add body. It has now been 3 years since the style evolution and I’d still like more body but the current issue is that the color isn’t as white/silvery in front as it started. I’ve used purple shampoo and conditioner since the start and, for a while, we thought my hair had accidentally absorbed a tinted sunscreen. It didn’t seem to be growing out though so my stylist bleached that small area and lo and behold…the color didn’t change one bit!! What doesn’t bleach out???? So, I’m changing shampoo brands and hoping for the best. I also am losing more hair as time goes on and believe that has to do more with age than anything else. I now believe that the artificial color definitely made me look older and, like you, I see this in my peers who still color their hair but it’s what we each see in the mirror is our driving force. I’m on a fixed income and love having some extra dollars to use for other self care and, until the Pandemic, to go to Broadway every couple of months. So that’s my hair story. I’ve read all of the above comments and appreciate what you and others are sharing.
I went gray about five years ago for the same reason as you are. The hair coloring was becoming brassy and honestly, I was just getting tired of the upkeep. I did cut my hair shorter initially and used a gray highlight to keep it somewhat natural looking while it grew in. Since then I have had my hair in so many different lengths (especially during the height of the pandemic) . Now it’s about the same length I had for years. I have recently begun to put low lights in because my hair has become the same shade of silver with no depth. It looks wonderfully natural and I get lots of compliments. Hang in there. I think you will love it once the process is complete.
At the beginning of the pandemic, I decided it was a good time to just grow out my natural color. My hairdresser had been coloring it a medium blonde color using the “weave” technique, so the hair color was never on my scalp. She also had matched the “tone” of the color with my natural color, so I really never had that demarcation line.
I love it and get many compliments on it. The color is a silvery gray with darker undertones. My hair is fairly thick but very fine. It is also curly, and that has helped. I have been very please at how much shinier it is then when I colored it.
As a child my hair was very blonde, then it came in very dark brown, almost black. In my fifties, when grey came in I colored it back to the dark brown. Then I highlighted it. Then when I turned 60, I had all color bleached out. It came in a very light blonde. With Covid, I let it go natural. Perfect timing and I even learned to trim it myself. So the process was not as distressing as I thought it would be and I like my hair a lot. I especially like that a trip to the salon for A trim is about 30 minutes!. My hair is very white in front with white streaks against black in the back. Most people barely noticed the change. My hair is still thick and I keep it short and spikey. A good product with shine keeps it looking modern.
Glad to hear youāre embracing your gray! I let my hair go gray throughout my 50ās (now 64). My gray is more of a platinum gray versus salt and pepper or white. Iāve always had fine hair but a lot of it. Now it feels more fragile and flyaway and it takes more effort to get volume. A big round brush helps. I was using purple shampoo every day but found it to be drying so now I only use it once or twice a week. Iāve liked Hair Biology Shampoo and Conditioners. Iāve also had to adjust my hairstyle. For the first few years as I grayed, a medium length shag style cut worked just fine but in the last few years Iāve found that a layered bob gives more fullness. It definitely takes some experimentation with this graying process. Hang in there!
A friend did the transition during the lockdowns. She has since added some silver low lights to give dimension and some body to her new look.
I’m still colouring every 7 or 8 weeks. My hairdresser applies a multi colour process to my ashy dark blonde greying hair. I am 66 and might re asses after I turn 70.
Most of my friends and family still colour their hair. The odd ones who let the grey come in look a bit washed out unless they have brown eyes and warm colouring. Those people seem to look good with grey.
I’m not stopping!!š
I ditched the dye in my early 50s, about 13 years ago. My husband is a natural blonde with very little gray so I worried about looking older than him.
He was very supportive so I pressed forward and never looked back.
My natural color was dark brown and I dyed it every 2 to 3 weeks. Going natural was the most freeing experience.
I believe women look much lovelier with their natural color.
Mine is mostly white with silver streaks and is now shoulder length.
I get many compliments on my hair color these days!
Enjoy Shine and Smooth from Amazon, makes my hair shiny, I love it!
I quit coloring my hair 4 years ago and although I think it ages me a bit (Iām 67) , I wouldnāt go back to coloring at all. A lot of things changed, which Iām still getting used to, such as hair texture, hair care products ( my hair is silver and a lot of products give it a yellow tint), wardrobe colors and hair styling. Itās been an interesting, and sometimes frustrating journey, but it has been one of the most freeing things Iāve ever done. Iām now in the process of just letting it grow long to see where that leads. Iām thinking back to my hippie days of long hair that I can pull back into a ponytail. Why not?
Why not indeed! Try it
I am in the process of going gray also. My hairdresser is doing a great job of blending my white, silver, formerly highlighted hair.
A great product is Enjoy Shine and Smooth, I get from Amazon. I love it!
Donāt change your hairstyle, it is very flattering!
I have been grey now for about five years and now l am 57 l canāt see myself changing. It did take a while to fully except it as other women friends continued to dye their hair and l thought looked better than me in the process, but now l have reached a place of liking my look. I went to a hair specialist a year ago for thinning and bald patches and l take prescription drugs for that and multivitamins and it is helping. Part of my journey now is keeping it short in a bob cut and playing around with statement earrings for fun š
Your hair looks very pretty. I thought you had already gone gray.
My hair is a chin length bob, straight and fine, thinner on top than the sides. I have it slightly layered. I am 90% gray ,but color. there is no salt and pepper, mostly flat white/yellow grey. I am not sure when I will stop coloring. It gives me color around my face, and my hair body on top. I use Age Beautiful from Sally’s. I just do my roots and then pull it through the last 5 min. , the ends look highlighted. I use medium or dark blonde. My hair is not dry at all. Going lighter than what we had when we were younger is softer and more flattering.
I think shorter layered would work for me except I think it would lay flat and then I
would have to use curling iron on it all the time.
Several of my friends have gone grey, but to tell you the truth, most don’t look good. I think the hair style is a lot of the problem. Also not everyone’s hair is even or looks like the models online. I have heard that grey is hard to keep up , because if it is white, it tends to look flat and dull or yellow. I am sure the purple shampoo helps this.
I think yours looks good, and looks great on you. You have the blue eyes and coloring for it.
I too have toyed with ditching the highlights and embracing the gray. I have colored my hair for years, ever since I had a paycheck and some disposable income.
As I get older, I feel like our society has an ‘ageist cluture’ where we feel pressure to look younger, or not be taken seriously. During the pandemic, I have tried to focus on staying well by eating right and exercising regularly. How we are perceived matters not a wit when we are happy in ourselves and healthy.
I have a co-worker who calls her gray hair ‘her wisdom coming out’!!
I think you look lovely Jennifer and you inspire me daily.
Love you are sharing your hair journey with us. I have fine, medium blonde, straight hair like yours. I recently went a few months without touch up and found my hair is totally white on the top and front of my head while the back is a dark gray. Not the look I was hoping for. I decided to color it for the christmas holidays. Perhaps will try in the new year.
Thsnks for sharing.
The grey is wonderful! I’m a clear winter…fair skin, dark hair and dark eyes. At 42, I gave up on color. The recommended warm highlights dulled my complexion and the dark color looked artificial. At 55 my hair is so healthy, fine curls that don’t like being longer than chin length. (oh yeah, for how long I thought chin length curls were bushy….not with a good cut, much better then cutting them all off or having long stringy ones!) It looks different depending on the lighting and that’s okay. I’ve incorporated more blue-based clothing and pinker makeup. Personally, I think a great cut is more important than color. As our hair ages, a fresh cut can make loads of difference. Every 2-years I go to a different stylist….tell them my no fuss manner of doing my hair….and let them play. It’s funny how we “routinely” guide a stylist to the same haircut which if often the issue. We have preconceived ideas of the proper length, part or angle based on habit or our body shape. Many times the look is nearly similar, sometimes one subtle trim at the temples opens my small face, (5’8 and wear petite eye glasses, who knew!) A fresh stylist who is instructed on how much you’re willing to invest in care can offer several suggestions. Enjoy the journey!
What a great idea! I’m doing the same thing with stylists but only because I haven’t found someone who really knows how to cut my hair. Your curls sound wonderful.
We have the same hair colour, although I do have a lot of hair, very fine and straight as a pin. I stopped colouring it about a year ago, after many years of highlighting.
I use Keratase pink shampoo and conditioner. This has strengthened my hair and prevents breakage. I also use the complementary strengthening spray before I blow dry. I also cut my hair , after many years in a bob, it is now layered on top and shorter on the sides. I stopped using the purple shampoo as it dulled my hair. I think it is a great shampoo for women who have gray hair rather than the blondish shades.
Thank you, Brenda. I’m excited to try the pink shampoo. It makes sense that blonde/gray would benefit from a different shampoo.
I think you look terrific! It has been very nice to see women letting go of the high maintenance hair coloring since the pandemic. I gave it up about five years ago, and feel pretty good about having left harsh chemicals and maintenance behind. I do use a subtle purple conditioner once every other week to keep down the brassiness. Every wash seemed too often to me.
Hi Jennifer,
I think you will look beautiful with gray hair, you will have to see if you are comfortable with the look and
the texture and how you will be able to style it. Growing out is the challenging part, you will have to be patient. You can always wear a wig in the mean time. Embracing change is not always easy. Good luck to you.
Going gray was one of the most freeing things I have done.. Although I have worn jaw length for years, I too have let mine grow to below the chin and have found that to be very freeing as well. Very recently I have cut bangs and wear them straight down. Love this style and itās so easy. The straight bangs wouldnāt work if my hair was shorter because I have a square jaw.
Good morning Jennifer, I agree with so many of the comments in your post this morning. You look awesome and yes, there will be some significant changes and process of “getting used to” your new look. I am 73 and stopped doing reverse highlights in my hair in my early fifties! Originally I had beautiful auburn hair. I have white hair! I get lots of compliments but have worked hard at hair styles, makeup, and complimentary clothing styles. It wasn’t easy at the time but I have very healthy hair and now quite proud of my white hair! Sending encouragement! I read your posts daily and thank you for all the time you spend researching and shopping and posting to help the rest of us! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Hi Jennifer, I’m so interested to see how you get on with this. I have blonde highlights, only twice a year usually, and when they grow out I see a sprinkling of silver/grey among the natural dirty blonde (and yes, I have that line). I was just thinking the other day that I might skip the highlights next time they are due. I, too, have fine hair, very straight, and I’m also concerned that without colour it will be flatter than ever.
Good luck, please keep us posted on your ‘journey’! (I love the comments too, very inspiring and helpful!)
I went grey almost at the first sign of grey. It didnāt take long for it to turn silver. I love my silver hair and you will too. If it looks Ash right now you are blessed. Ash blondes or ash browns like I was, turn a pretty silver, everyone else gets brassy or an actual grey color. Itās our revenge for them calling us dirty blond. LOL
I just use a good shampoo and conditioner. The all in one. It is important to use conditioner to help the shine but a separate shampoo and conditioner weighed down my hair. Donāt use hair spray. Get a cut so you donāt need to style. Just blow and go.
Be careful with a daily use of the purple shampoo! My stylist recommends once a week because after a while the buildup will start to show and your hair will have a violet tinge. Unless that’s the look you are going for!
Thank you for the heads up. I donāt want purple hair
Ok, you do not EVER look like a woman who has just given up! I went “natural” during lockdown and have not looked back. Frankly, I do not miss the brassy look (particularly noticeable in photographs) and I get more positive feedback now on my hair color (or colors) than I ever did when I colored it. Same for friends who have gone gray in recent years–they are stunningly beautiful and actually look younger–just like you.
I decided to let nature take itās course 4 years ago when I retired! Best thing I ever did! Love my hair colour which is a silver, white combo! My hair is very fine and thinning but I have started to use a shampoo, conditioner, & treatment system that I actually think is working! Itās called Ethica! My hair does seem thicker! I do alternate with a blue shampoo from Loma to get rid of yellow! I do use Puff Me texturizing spray and Gloss Me hair serum but very little! And I think you look great and I didnāt really notice the change!
My hair is also super fine, super straight, super thin. I enjoy your hair journeys and tips. I can relate very much to your hair stories.
Your hair is transitioning well! My hair started turning gray when I was in my early 30s when I began having it colored. My hair is also fine and straight and the coloring added volume. I allowed my hair to grow out about 8-9 years ago and I do not regret it.
You say you use conditioner everyday. When I use conditioner often, my hair doesnāt have body. It just lays flat and limp. You might try using it less often. Gray hair general is courser so you should have fuller hair as it grows out.
So I could be over conditioning!! Iāll try cutting back. Thanks.
Conditioner is to be applied only to the ends of your hair to keep them healthy. If you are applying it throughout, then yes, your hair might lay flat.
Yup, I did. Last year during lockdown. Noticed many of the same things. Most of my grey is at the back where the longer top hair meets the shorter, more closely cut nape. I have not regretted doing this as the money spent has been channeled into more satisfying things. My genes tell me it will be a long while before I’m totally grey. Relatives experienced the same, though one had a striking whit streak at her forehead by 20. With dark brownish black hair it was her ‘wow’ feature.
Jennifer….I started going “gray” at 17! I would just pull them out, and for some reason ( do 17 year olds need a reason? ) I put them into an empty tissue box. It wasn’t long before that tissue box had a lot of hair in it, and worrying I’d go bald if I kept doing that, I stopped and from there on began a long journey into hair coloring. 30 years, and many colors later, I stopped “cold turkey”. It took a while to grow out, but what was hiding under all that hair color was amazing! I let my baby fine, thin, straight hair grow long, but maintained it with regular trims which stimulate hair volume. I wear my hair in a French twist, chignon, even a long pony tail. I can’t tell you how many compliments I get on my hair! I didn’t get that when I was coloring. I don’t use a conditioner. I use a children’s hair detangler instead, and shampoo only twice a week. A number of women have told me over the years that they would consider abandoning the hair color ritual after seeing my hair, and these are mostly complete strangers. In 4 months I will be “rocking” 80. One is only as young as one feels, and I don’t see 80 in the mirror, especially my hair. If you want to go gray, or champagne platinum as I am, don’t be afraid to do it. You might also be as surprised as I was to find what was under the hair color all along. Marty Butler
I started going gray at 30 so 35 years later, it is 100% white. I colored it for years and finally stopped. I get many compliments on my white hair telling me itās beautiful. I donāt take the compliments well thinking they are just being nice. However, I NEVER got a compliment on my dyed locks. Never! I highlight it occasionally but realize soon that my fair skin really goes best with the white hair. I think it makes me look older so I need to be attentive to colors and styles that we wear. I love your website – you have similar coloring to me and love finding you as my mentor! Thanks! Go for it! I canāt wait to see how you adapt to your new hair. You might find a streak or two of a slightly darker color occasionally may give it depth.
Thanks Bet
Thanks to Jennifer and readers for thoughtful comments. Iām graying slowly so havenāt grappled with the issue yet.
BUT āā. . . in some lights, I could be mistaken for a woman who has given upā cracked me up! Thatās how I looked last night on a Zoom call. How I look is about light, and sleep and mood. All the more reason to take good care of ourselves!
Jennifer, I think your new hair looks gorgeous: soft, natural and lots younger than your previous styling. Lots of product makes hair stiff and I think thatās very ageing. Layers too, can make grey hair dull. So many cut hair ends tend to impede shine.
I use a Brigeo mask once a week or so before shampooing and my fine hair prefers this to conditioner used every shampoo.
I donāt know if you can get Evolve hair products over the pond but I think theyāre the business for fine hair that needs shine.
Be brave and go for it!
I agree about the layers so I may need to switch my cut. Iāll look for Evolve, thanks
When salons closed in my state early in the pandemic, and I was staying at home, I decided to see what might happen with my hair. I wasn’t crazy about the process (took me over a year), was tempted to give up a few times, but have been very happy with the end result. When things were opening back up, I did have my cosmetologist (who was very supportive and told me that many of her clients were doing the same) do highlights/lowlights since I was going from brunette to gray. I tried, and have liked, Hair Biology products from Target. My hair is healthier and I’m saving time and money. #teamnatural #silversisters
Hair Biology is great!! Now I need to try the ones for silver hair.
Thank you for sharing this Jennifer- a very timely post for me. I’ve been ambivalent and wrestling with my hair color for some time & just made an appointment with my hair stylist. I’m 61, my hair was naturally dark brown & I kept it colored that way for years. About 13 years ago I went totally gray for awhile, but I felt I looked so old, washed out and flat, I ended up dyeing it dark brown again. Although my natural color was a lovely silver, it was fine & frizzy. When I wore it long, it required a lot of “fussing”. When I wore it short I felt like I looked like my father. When I look in the mirror, the dark brown is what I recognize as “me”. I also love the body & texture that dyeing adds to my thinning hair. But I’m so tired of the maintenance required every 3 weeks & I wonder if it’s healthy and if it really helps my appearance. I think I’m ready start the transition back to gray, or at least a lighter brown.
Itās an interesting decision we all get to make. Thanks for sharing. I hope youāll keep us posted how it goes.
I decided to go gray almost 4 years ago and I have not regretted it once. My belief was, as you said, if I hated it I could always go back to coloring. Iām curious and wanted to know what it would look like. I too have very fine hair and I agree it took some getting used to not having the volume coloring adds. I found less product ultimately worked better for me. My stylist (and good friend) recommended going with the ācut it all off and see what happensā approach which reduced the time to loose the line of demarcation considerably. And I totally agree that those who continue to color too dark age themselves, if they would change to a lighter hue it would help a lot.
Thank you so much for this post. Like you I have fine, thin hair, looking at my family I think a lot of it is hereditary. I have colored my hair for the past twenty years with a slightly lighter color than my natural shade and occasionally I have my hairdresser add highlights. Like you it gave me the appearance of more volume and a thicker quality. But I am looking at 75 next month and I, personally, think it is about time to just be āmeā. So I am letting it grow out in its natural state. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I only have a few gray hair along my hair line. But I am going to go with it and see how it turns out. As I get older I find I am not concerned with how I look to the outside world. More how comfortable I feel in my own skin.
I love your attitude! Thanks for sharing. Good luck
I’m 5 years ahead of you with age and stopping the haicolor. My hair is like yours, fine, straight, but mine went from blonde to total white! In photos it was shocking for a while to see my hair looking like a q-tip. Now I have embraced it and if I’m out and about I always get many sweet compliments. You will find your products that work for you and with your beautiful blue eyes your new, natural.color will be gorgeous.
Q-tip:) thanks for my morning chuckle
I think your hair looks great, and I haven’t noticed any difference. I started going gray about 6 months before the pandemic, which was fortuitous timing! My hairdresser did highlighting and lowlighting to help the transition from my combination of natural brown, colored brown, and gray. I’m so glad I did. I feel like I am saving so much time and money and am happy with the color. One product I recommend is Lorraine Massey’s Curly World “With or Without Hue” purple conditioner. My dry curly hair needs very little shampooing so it’s great to be able to control any brassiness with a moisturizing conditioner.
Hi Jennifer, good luck with the change. I have been a slave to touch ups for years, but am not yet ready to cry Uncle!
For shine, I really like a product called Beyond Shine by Aquage. You can get it on Amazon, it is not a bit oily, and goes on like hairspray.
I just ordered it! I hope it works on thin hair:)
Yay you! I went au natural 6 years ago in my 50s. Love wearing it this way. Two suggestions for success: the cut is everything. Stodgy hairdoās are amplified with grey hair. Second, I tried Prose haircare products and it solved a multitude of issues. They formulate the product to reach your goals (thick, shiny and not brassy are mine) and take into consideration the type of water in your area. That was most of the battle for me with the hard water we have here in Dallas. Canāt speak highly enough of itā¦game changer
Thatās for the recommendation!
I did the same thing for the exact same reasons. It has been two years know it has turned into the best decision ever made. Also, had many comments on how much better my skin looks.
Thanks for sharing your story
I made the decision to go gray about five years ago. My coloring is similar yo yours so it also wasn’t much of a problem. I had fine blond hair with highlights and I also miss the body from the coloring and just my blonde hair in general. My hair is a pretty color I think and the texture is much better than the bleached. I am happy I did it. I also still have long hair.
Went grey during the start of the pandemic. not really grey pure white, have been trying several different colors in clothes and makeup, it’s challenging and I haven’t figured out the right shades yet, but will keep working on it
My hair is finer and thinner than yours, but I keep it cut quite short so that it doesnāt separate into little stringy strands. Because my hair was already short, it took about 6 months before it was mostly grown out. I have a mixture of silver and a medium brown. If I am in bright light it looks quite silvery, but inside and in pictures it just looks light brown. One friend said it looks like I highlighted my hair. My hair actually has more body since I stopped coloring it, and I donāt lose hardly any hair when I wash it. My hair is still very shiny. I use the Nioxin for progressed thinning shampoo and conditioner, and use Pantene Silver Expressions purple shampoo twice a week. You have to buy it on Amazon. For extra body I use No Inhibition Body Booster by Zone One Concepts. It is an amazing product for fine hair like ours. It is like no other product out there.
Jennifer, I didnāt notice your transition until you pointed it out! Youāre lucky to have light hair that blends with the gray during this time. I started dying my dark brown hair in my 30s to cover the gray and stopped the more than monthly touch ups during Covid last year. I wear my hair short, so the process wasnāt too lengthy, but it sure wasnāt pretty! My hair is now mostly white with some gray and darker streaks in the back. I love it! I never realized how artificial my dyed hair looked until I saw pictures from that time. My hair is now soft and healthy. I like the Hair Biology products from Target.
My appointment is made and SATURDAY is the day! My hair will be returned to its natural state. Your hair color looks fabulous; hope I will be so lucky. You are such an inspiration! Thanks for sharing.
Good luck!
I think your hair looks great! I’m several years into natural hair, and I now have hair to just above my waist in several shades of grey/white. I guess it isn’t common to see long grey hair because people often say how much they love it. I will say that it does need some maintenance. I occasionally use apple cider vinegar as a rinse (before conditioner after shampoo), but I for sure always use a mild shampoo (I use Aveda Shampure) and, in addition to conditioning every time I wash, I frequently use a deep conditioner. While my hair isn’t as shiny as my old dyed hair, it is different, and the time saved and the stress of having roots showing outweighs anything.
Well, my once very dark brown, short, curly and fine hair is now a light golden brown, shoulder length! It took me much longer to style my shorter hair! Fine texture. I found a wonderful hairdresser a few years ago who uses a multi tone coloring process and supports my choice to keep it longer. Day one, I wear it down and day two and three, I clip it up. I get a root touch up and trim every five weeks.
Many of my friends (and four sisters) have gone natural with their hair color and they look amazing!
I love your ability to share this journey that so many of us have found ourselves dealing with!
Hi Jennifer, I decided to embrace my silver when I turned 65 – last year. I had been coloring my hair a red/brown for years. I’d been seeing so many stories about women who decided to transition to their natural gray hair, and they looked beautiful. To your point, I now and again will see a mature woman with obviously colored hair and think it does age her. It’s too stark and kind of obvious.
I have a GREAT hairdresser. When I decided to bite the bullet, she did a highlight/lowlight treatment, carefully matching my roots. (that was the painful part – letting my roots grow out enough so she could accurately match my natural color) I came out of the salon with gray hair, that matched what my natural color would look like. That made the transition easier for me.
It has taken a year, but now only the very tips of my hair have any of the high/lowlights remaining. The rest is all me. You would be surprised at how many compliments I get on my hair. Women young and old think I paid to get it looking like it does. I really love how it grew out, and agree, the natural color does compliment my mature skin tones more than the color did.
I too have baby fine hair. I wear a bob haircut, only slightly stacked in the back, to my chin or slightly longer. It’s easy to maintain and the shape is flattering.
I say, be brave and stick with it! Your transition won’t be as drastic as mine was from red/brown. I bet you’ll be happy you did.
I stopped coloring my hair three years ago and I love it. It was a
change for me too but I have gotten so many compliments . My hair is thin on top so I had to change my hair style. I use Aveda products and do well with those.
Welcome to the club! Going gray is a type of freedom. I was tired of my 4-6 weeks color appointments. I had a chin length bob and about halfway through going gray I cut it short. My hair is much healthier now.
You will love your new hair! You’ll find that “your” gray is the perfect one for your coloring.
I was a brunette who went every 2 1/2 to 3 weeks for color. Even with highlights, the color looked hard on me.
Turns out there was no salt and pepper period. My hairdresser said I was mostly white/gray and lighter around my face. He helped so there was no grow out line.
I love my gray! It’s a softer, lovely color. I use Olaplex with a blue shampoo once a week.
I noticed grey/white coming in my late teens/early 20ās. Then I thought it needed to be covered up so of course went for full coverage dye jobs. Oooooops – it soon started looking like a toque so stopped the colouring. I didnāt really have the root issues fortunately as my hair was dark enough for it to blend. When I had colour analysis done about 25 yrs ago I felt it was more to do with complexion than hair colour (as that could be artificially changed). I have had very short hair for endless yrs working in the food industry (and wearing hair covering) Now at 71 I have let it grow – you can always make long hair short and softer. B/c I have naturally curly hair I never wanted it to look like a bad perm as I aged.
My hair change came with the pandemic and my hairdresser moving at the same time. The more I washed my hair the more my hair lightened . It came in a silver gray! A purple rinse really helped. I also changed my glasses, from rimless to navy blue. It made a big difference! At the end of the pandemic, I received lots of positive comments. So good luck . It took a bit of patience but now I just go for a haircut_ no color needed.
That is wonderful that is something I have been thinking about, I also know several women who did during business lock down with covid limitations. I may try it in January next year. Thank you for your inspiration.
Hi, I have my naturally very dark hair high lighted, and much lighter over all. I’m not ready to bite the bullet and go gray yet, but my dark hair was much too harsh for my aging face,lol. Redken makes a salon product (maybe called Shades) that gives that hair-color body and shine, but no pigment. It might be an option for you! I enjoy your posts!
Yes! I went gray the year before covid! I was always a brunette and the color was brassy and I needed a touch up every two weeks. Surprise! My hair is white! I did use toner and absolutely do not recommend it as it tended to turn my hair greenishš„ŗ. Now, using baking soda in my shampoo once a week keeps the color bright and occasionally use a purple shampoo, but find that builds up on my hair. My product choices today are Embellish finishing hairspray by Calista( hands down best volume spray I have found), Redken Style High gel, Wow shine spray, and Wow gray hair fibers to cover pink scalp areas.
I did cut my hair shorter during transition, but that was mostly because of the toner issues. I am thrilled I did this and wish you luck!
I’ve been looking at hair fibers for awhile, and haven’t been able to decide which brand to try, mostly because of the lack of color choices. Which Wow color are you using–I’m not seeing Gray as an option?
Check out Boost N Blend. I use and really like. They have a big color palette and offer different shades of grey.
Thank you. I have gone natural gray over the last year. Iām finer, straighter, flatter than before. Iām so anxious to read your experience and advice. I agree that so many women have gone gray now those who are still coloring , especially darn, look older
Have you tried Boost N Blend?
I let mine go natural “platinum” many years ago. I’m fortunate that my hair was blonde so the transition was an easy one. I’m also lucky that mother nature blessed me with a very pretty shade. I’ve been asked who colors my hair. So hang in there as it may end up better than you think. So far you still look marvelous !
When I first went gray I didn’t like it and colored it once more. That was it. I went gray and have never looked back. I love it. I’ve had so many compliments about the cut and color.
Good morning! I transitioned in 2016. I wear my hair similar to you and it took me about 18 months to fully transition. I am totally whiteā¦.how I wish I would have started sooner so I would have had a little salt and pepper but maybe I wouldnāt. About 6 months in I started growing more hair on the crownā¦.hair dye is very damaging after years and years of use. I have found that using different products each shampoo is best for me. I also wear glasses and have 4-5 pairs I switch to depending on what I wear. Good luck with your transition. It is a liberating experience and you will learn a lot about yourself and your friends.
I have been on the same journey since May. I also have baby fine, straight hair and am missing the volume that color gave my hair. I probably have one more cut before my hair is totally gray. Not hating it, not loving it..and Iām also leaving my options open to go back to color if I decide to. But I am enjoying not having to do the upkeep that Iāve done for decades. And my hair has never been healthierā¦thatās something, I suppose. Iāll be anxious to hear about any new products you try.
I went gray a couple years ago and have not regretted it. A word of caution about the purple shampoo. I, too, was using it everyday and my hair began to look a very odd mousy color. My stylist told me I should only use it, at most, once a week. I am much happier with the results since following that advice. Good luck with your journey.
I was a natural brunette, but started turning gray in my late teens. My grandfather who was a very dark brunette became white in his 50ās. I took after him! At 48 I had my hair dyed a light brown with highlights. I loved it. I had been dying it dark brown since my 30ās. After a couple years of the highlights I decided to let it go grayā¦it was the best choice for me. I have had so many complaints over the years. My hair was always shiny and still is. Iām now white/silver with dark hair around the back of my neck that grows in an arch and is hidden underneath my lighter hair. My husband loves it! So, for me, letting my natural hair grow out has been worth it. I hope you enjoy your decisionā¦which ever way you choose.
I am completely white in front. I too after pandemic gave up on coloring roots then highlighting but bc Iām not completely white ie crown and back I have highlights put in. Honestly not sure Iām comfortable with the cool tone of white against my skin. Hair product. Try Nexus clean and pure. Love the shampoo and FOAM conditioner. Wow. I read in blog about it for gray hair. Good luck. Yes I cut mine shorter finally to really figure it out.
I had wondered if you were letting your colour change – there were a couple of pictures that seemed to show the difference.
My sister who has very thick curly hair had her hair cut and coloured in December 2019 and then we had lockdown here in the UK. She was shielding and unable to leave the house so just let it grow through. By the time lockdown and shielding had ended she just had a small amount of her dark hair left at the back and that has now completely gone. It’s now a very nice silvery white.
She has said that her hair feels fantastic, thick, healthy and in great condition. She’s using the Kevin Murphy products for grey hair.
I am one of those brown haired women. I tried last summer. It looked awful! So I am back working on a blend. MUch better,especially for my terminally straight hair. Di I mention it is also baby fine, so all that plus a few personal
issues and I might et it to be presentable! Will let you know!
Susan – I have brown hair that grew out with a very striking line of demarkation.
I did a side part -sorry TikTok- and kept touching up the part line while letting the rest of my hair go uncolored. I don’t think it fooled anybody, but it got rid of the skunk stripe effect and as the rest grew out I got a blend. I coupled that with frequent trims from my very supportive stylist for about a year and a half.
Once I was mostly gray, at least down to my ears I flipped my part to the other side which covered up the touched-up part line, and gave me a decent looking mostly gray mix.
It didn’t look great but I could look at myself in the mirror without cringing, and between you and me what I think was the most important thing. So it worked.
I was grey in my late 40ās and would flip flop with color and highlights every couple years until I just had to stop. I started out salt and pepper, now the crown of my head is silver but I still have lots of salt and pepper in the back. I get more compliments on my hair now than I did years ago. Iāve been blessed with thick, healthy hair, I wear it short. I agree with you that older women still using dark hair color look older and just not natural. Iāve had to change makeup and lipstick colors to adjust to my grey. I would never be without a lip stain or I would look washed out. Hang in there I think youāll be happy.
I thoroughly enjoy your content and really appreciate your honesty in all things fashion, beauty and lifestyle.
Itās been almost 5 years since I made the decision to go gray and I couldnāt be happier with my decision. I have fine, thin hair and understand where youāre coming from with the texture without coloring but recently had a perm and after an initial period of learning to handle the curl in my hair Iām very pleased with the results. You might give it a consider a perm to improve the texture of your hair.
PS
Loved the recent content on contrast!
Anne
I am a member of that exclusive baby fine, stick straight hair club (and not much of it) also. Decided to fully “embrace” the aging process (thank you Covid) in 2020. Am 67 and so happy to have made the change. You truly don’t understand how freeing it is to stop coloring your hair until you do so. Various FB groups (Going GRAY Gracefully, etc.) helped on those days when I thought WTH am I thinking! Regular haircuts helped tolerate the growing out phase. I now sport a long pixie with lots of layers that give volume. I love the shades of gray/white and have followed advice to get in-person color analysis which resulted in good purge of closet and makeup (was spring, now hard winter). Truly a total transformation. Life is good!
It does sound like an amazing change! Bravo
It is a frustrating transition at times and I applaud you for doing it in front of all your followers. I went from darkish brown and white roots in the front which needed touch up at least every three weeks, cold turkey as well. After letting the roots grow for a few weeks I got it all cut off to about an inch. When I had a bit more growth, got it all cut back again, then let it grow back. There is quite a bit of change in texture and shine as you said, and finding the right products is a process. I do not have straight hair or especially thin hair, except the front, so don’t have much for suggestions for you, but as you fall in love with the new you, you will find your best look. Until you pointed it out I did not notice your roots changing. Thanks for being so open once again to showing us your changing self.
Thanks Diane
Hi Jennifer,
Agree with the others, I have not noticed a change in your color and you do a terrific job of styling your hair! I am (or was) a brunette. I color/highlight my hair. I do my own roots and it’s like having a part-time job. I am still working and hate the look of gray roots, so I color them myself. My highlights are caramel and I have found that using a filter to remove harsh minerals from my shower water has made all the difference with brassiness. I mention this for others that also color their hair. However, I do look forward to the day when I will make the transition and just go gray (in a few years). I suspect I will have to cut my hair very short when I do that so as not to look like a skunk. š
Caramel sounds lovely. Iāve read about those shower filters snd they make sense to me for so many reasons.
I stopped coloring two years ago. I think my salt and pepper hair looks a lot softer than the dark brown I was dying it. I had to let all the dye grow out before I could really see what it looked like. I really like it now.
You look beautiful with this new look!
I am one of those women you mentioned “maintaining my dark brown hair.” I would love it if you could speak more about how this look might be aging and actually make us look older and ‘out of date.’ Trying to work up the courage to go grey!
Dark hair can be a harsh contrast to aging complexions, much like wearing black clothes next to our faces. Everything softens as we age so artificially keeping hair dark, begins to look unnatural. Perhaps try some soft highlights or a lighter version of what you have and watch the contrast change. You might like yesterdayās post on how to check your contrast levels.
Sam – I think how good dyed brown hair looks depends a lot on your colorist and on the style that you do your ‘do’. Natural hair isn’t all the same color, so a dark one shade color is a giveaway. Even highlighted hair needs to be carefully considered. Brassy highlights or hair with underlying red tones really stand out against a naturally weathered 40+ y/o face.
The thing is, even if you go with ashy tones, your dyed hair can pop up with brass/red tones.
Pam over at Over 50… has decided not to go gray. Her colorist has significantly lightened her brown hair over the years. She’s also moved off of the satin blowdry to a more tossled natural style. I think that brings more light into your hair and is softer.
I think when considering what to do about your hair that doesn’t involve the infamous “big chop” that you’ve got several different areas to employ your strategy – color, cut, style.
Many years ago, my wonderful hairdresser (since retired) told me that my hair would go platinum gray, that it would be a great color with my skin tones, and I shouldn’t color my hair. I followed her advice. My hair hasn’t gone completely gray yet, but she was right. My friends tell me that if their hair was going gray like mine, they wouldn’t color it either. I am always looking for products for my thin, fine hair as well and look forward to finding out what works for you.
Just lovely anyway! I started going grey in my late 20s. At the time, my hair was very thick. We didn’t have a lot of money so I would color it myself and it always took 2 boxes and wouldn’t last 6 weeks. I then had my year and a half battling cancer and decided I didn’t need to add any chemicals to my system. I too, noticed that women my age and older (60’s) that kept dark hair (men too) look so artificial. I will never forget my granddaughter telling me I had ‘magical’ hair. What? Grandma, it looks brown in the house but when you step into the sun it turns white! It is like magic! I am fine with my magic hair! Thank you for sharing.
Such a beautiful story. Magical hair. I seem to be getting some of that too! Wise woman, your grandma.
Cute story – I am in that same scenario and a few weeks shy of turning 68. My hair color only looks good for 2 weeks and then I use root sprays and powders and wear hats. (Easy to get away with in Florida) Iām sort of at my wits end with my hair and really not sure where to start. Unfortunately my hair is pretty fragile and thinning so my options are limited. Other than that I am blessed with good health. š
I decided to let my hair do what it would as I aged. I am pretty minimalist about hair care, but maintain a six week schedule of hair trims. Iāve had short hair and medium hair length, never long as my hair is wavy and sometimes curly.
My black hair has turned gradually silvery but seems to be going gray. Itās hard to tell because of the lighting.
My hair is healthy, and I get compliments on the color.
Whatever we decide to do with our hair, letās all be happy that we are healthy and have an enthusiasm for life. Weāre lucky that we have lived so long to show the color change of hair.
BTW, I think your hair has always looked great!
I love your attitude Gloria!! Thank you for sharing.
I went grey during the lockdown. Before my transition I would color my hair a light brown, however within a week or two it would look blonde. My hairstylist said that was due to the grey! What ! I never realized I had any grey. I love my grey and get many compliments. However like you my grey is fine, silky and flat. I was hoping for the corse grey. Looking forward to see what products help with your fine grey hair
Mine was fine silky and flat to start so this will be fun:)
I had noticed a change to your hair colour Jennifer, but I thought it was just from new highlights. It’s probably more noticeable to you and to those who see you in natural light.
I’ll be going ‘au natural’ very soon, and am anticipating having white hair, so I’m very interested in what products and different styling techniques I’ll need to switch to. Any information on that would be appreciated. I’ve started a Pinterest board on short and grey styles, and I’m actually looking forward to trying out different lengths that I never would have had the courage to try before.
Courage is a great word here, Yvonne! If not now, when? I hope youāre doing well. Xx
I too, stopped coloring my hair last year with Covid in full force. Wearing a mask and not going out much at all last year made the transition easier. My hair color was similar to yours and I found that for a week after coloring it looked great, then downhill from there. Cost and concerns over safety of all this dye, along with unhappiness with color and finally accepting my natural hair color pushed me to do this. Iām completely dye free and while most days I am very happy with the new color, some days I have remorse. All in all, a good healthy decision. I find using a purple shampoo once a week keeps the āyellowingā at bay. Iām now struggling with clothes colorsā¦I read your post yesterday and need to re-read it to help me fully understand. For now, when someone says āthat looks great on youā I take notice of what color it is.
I am struggling with colors too so will have more info going forward. Thanks soft sharing
I hope that you are as pleased as I have been since I made that decision 4 years ago. It seemed that I was seeing gray roots around two weeks after my hair was colored. I was tired of the time and money it took to have it colored so I had it cut in layers and stopped coloring. I have never looked back! I’m looking forward to hearing about the “finishing” products you will be trying that will add a little shine.
Congratulations! The gray and cuts of our grandmothersā days are gone if one chooses. I started to add auburn highlights to my brown hair in college and that was quite a while ago! About four years ago, before Covid, I got tired of the coloring and needed a change.
So I started letting my hair grow out. My hair had started to gray at the front in my 40s and I had left a gray-white streak uncolored. When I stopped coloring, I was amazed to find that my hair was completely white. I have always had curly hair but coloring inhibited the curl and I kept my hair quite short. Now, my hair is white, wonderful curly, longer, and much more shiny. The texture is softer but the curl hides a multitude of sinsā¦including a much-thinned crown (hereditary). I donāt think I have ever gotten so many compliments. Who knew? And now I can wear many softer colorsā¦as you discussed. Having a jolt of new appearance has been great fun at 80.
I have not seriously considered it but think about it often. I get tired of the grind and expense of color; color and hair products are a cost of working at this point in my life but as i move toward retirement i may do it differently. Color, nails, add up over a month.
Women are treated differently in the work place with gray hair. Itās not fair, but a fact. I hear you
I envy your curls! How fun to have a pleasant surprise. Thanks for sharing your journey, Lee
I went gray years agoā¦my auburn hair was just too resistant to color to maintain. A full hour with color on it every 3 weeks was taking too great a toll on my hair, budget, patience and time. I actually had my stylist do one final āheavy frostā (Iām sure itās called something else now but thatās what it was then). My mother became seriously ill about that time and between being a classic Oreo caregiver and a full-time job I didnāt think about it for the next 3 years. My hair is now a beautiful white. I use purple shampoo once a week; other than that I use a mild shampoo and conditioner every day. It is a little thinner now but it was originally very thick so itās not a problem. I do find that I wear bolder colors now but still minimal makeup. I agree that women who continue to color tend to look older than those of us who donāt. There are some great Facebook groups for women going gray that can be very encouraging and provide advice and reassurance!
Thanks for sharing your story Patti. ā¤ļø Your hair sounds beautiful
I went gray years ago for the same reason – color just wasn’t working and there was brassiness in some spots. It has been so liberating although there are changes and adjustments. I have natural curl and deal with humidity and frizziness in the summer. Fall and winter, my hair is so much easier to manage. I now have a layered short-ish bob. I need layering to add volume. My hair is not as thick as it used to be and is very fine. Always a challenge!
Iām thinking a shorter bob may be necessary for me too
Growing my hair out was a lot easier during Covid as everyone seemed to be trying it out. What looked like beautiful silver did not turn out to be the case and I am like you – dealing with a less than ideal hair color and texture. And thinning. So, I will be following any successes that you have.
I could be in your boat but Iām anxious to see
To be honest I havenāt really noticed a huge change in your hair color. Maybe once or twice thought youād gone forward with more platinum highlights but only that- once or twice.
No Iām still having my roots colored. (Why? my hair root is white in front and dark grey in back) – ugly in other words! Not going au natural!
So- Two to three times a year I have lighter and darker highlights added and I like it. I may add a few more lowlights
next time! If I was coming in all white or uniformly grey I might think of it but not yet!
Paulette, that is what mine did at the start, white in front and a dark blend in the back. When it grew in I let the bangs grow and did a side sweep with the white. People would stop and say how great it looked, and did I have it professionally done. Hairdressers would say that others would pay ‘big bucks’ for that look and I was so lucky. I just wanted it to be all the same as the front, but have grown to really like the look. Actually the cut is what can really bring it all together to make it unique and fun…. just a thought.
Itās such a personal decision. I canāt see the back but assume itās much darker than my front too
I have just the opposite problem. I am a golden blonde , fine, straight hair with little body, starting to gray. After a stem cell transplant seven years ago I lost all my hair and believe it, it came back a very dark golden blonde with no gray and curls. I gradually lost most of the curl, but it is still very dark. I am 77 and everyone thinks I must be coloring it. Go figure!
Hi Jennifer, I decided to embrace the grey over a year agoā¦..attempt number 2. I gave up the first time but Iām so so glad I tried again. I love my hair now after years of highlighting and colouring. I have very short, thick hair so the transition was pretty quick and easy. My colour is a mix of silver at the front, gradually going to a darker salt and pepper back. Who knew!
Trips to the hairdresser are every 5 weeks but they last 45 mins and are much cheaper š
I am now finding the colours I wear are changing tho, which is interesting.
Good luck. Will be watching the results.
Your hair looks beautiful. No worries about the tone, it looks great on you. Mine is very similar but I still have some color added in to temper the mouse-y color. Thanks for your encouragement to all of us as we age gracefully.
Hang in there! I went gray a few years ago and it was a brutal process (I had dark color). I missed the texture coloring gave my hair too. But when you are finally done (and it took me a couple of years because I have shoulder-length hair), your hair will feel so healthy!! And the color of gray/white will improve with time. Good luck!