Monday Musings on White Tees and Decorum
We went to a much larger farmers market this weekend. The weather was warm and sunny, so since my face was still puffy from the IPL, I wore this giant hat with the brim pulled down and a lightweight linen shirtdress. Most people were more casually dressed than I was, but I felt like me, and was super comfy.
I ended up carrying three bags of fruits and veggies, which convinced me I needed a foldable shopping trolly. If you’ve never gone down the rabbit hole looking at those options, you’d be surprised!
I want a cute one like this, or even this vintage one. It also has to be practical, so I’ll probably end up with one like this. They even make them with wheels like this, so you can easily pull them upstairs.
I end up holding my daughter’s flowers in the car each week, which begs the question, why aren’t I buying flowers myself?
There were lots of thoughtful comments on the blog last week. This one by Shari on the post about organizing our wardrobes for fall really stood out for me~
"I have also started a list of things I don’t need any more of. I can get attracted to certain items and end up with more than I really wear. (No more jeans!) I’m also having a frank discussion with myself about my true lifestyle and how many items of certain categories I really need. How often do I dress up, need business wear? Maybe a few times a year. I’m focusing on casual but not sloppy.
Too often, we buy things for a lifestyle we used to have or wish we had. At this stage of our lives, let’s create a wardrobe that really works in our favor and makes it easy to walk out the door knowing we look great.
Rainbow
I bought rainbow chard at the farmer’s market this week. I’ve never made it before, so I culled together a few recipes to come up with a nice side dish, but it turned out disgusting! Chewy and bitter, but it sure looked yummy. Do you have a recipe for chard I could try next time? I love the idea of eating a rainbow of colors, but it has to be edible.
Black & White & Boring
Pardon my rant, but…when did white undershirts become dinner-out attire for men? I know I’m old-fashioned, but I think it’s polite to make a small effort with our appearance when we dine out. It shows a level of respect for ourselves, the waitstaff, and the other patrons. But…if no one can see the effort, does it count?
Last night, we went out for a casual dinner at one of our favorite local French restaurants. I love a classic white tee as much as the next person, but when a man wears one, it looks exactly like an undershirt. If I’m looking at you across the room, I don’t know if the tag on your plain white tee says Hanes, Ralph Lauren, or Thom Browne.
In the same small restaurant, I spotted no less than 9 women wearing a simple white top with black pants. Apparently, they all got the memo that black with white is chic, but it bordered on boring. None of them had personalized their look with special earrings, a scarf, or a unique shape. I adore minimalistic style, but if you go down that route, it’s important to add some personality to your look.
Have you noticed men wearing a white undershirt/tee shirt out to dinner? Does it bother you, or am I too picky?
Each to their own I say. If that is what they feel comfortable in, so be it. Not all have the confidence to accessorise and who knows what kind of day they may have had and it was easier to just wear black pants with a white top. I have a teenage daughter and have found the last few years to be very mindful of not commenting on how people look in clothes they have chosen to wear.
The women all looked nice, it was just stiking how common the color combo was.
Refreshing to hear some common sense thank you. It’s so easy to focus on this life and forget about the next one to come.
I like to make an effort also to go out to dinner. Our Florida lifestyle is casual and a lot of men wear shorts to dinner but I think a collared shirt is a must, and no baseball hats!
My husband changes to a collared shirt for restaurants where we have a waiter and more than one fork 🙂 It just feels proper to me.
Jennifer, I’d much rather see men wearing the modern look of a white tee and women wearing white and black minimalist outfits than to see old (older) women wearing above the knee dresses and skirts or shorts.
Let me begin by saying that you look very nice, modern and comfortable. But you often state in your posts to “wear what you feel good in, “wear what you love and are comfortable in”, but then critique men in white tees, yoga pants at the airport, shorts and baseball caps at the farmers market, etc. The immensely successful fashion designer Vera Wang almost exclusively wears black clothing, I imagine she feels good and loves black. We never know someone’s life story, where they are going or where they have come from, so best to recognize our privilege and reserve our judgement, and continue to wear what we love.
I encourage women to wear what makes them feel confident because it’s a great barometer to use when choosing outfits.
To be crystal clear, I’ve never critiqued anyone for wearing shorts and a baseball cap to the farmers market. I have observed and mentioned it because it feels like the norm. I’m not dressing that way because I wouldn’t feel like me.
I also have my own opinions, to go along with my observations. Most people do.
The fact is, people are judged by their appearance and choice of dressing. That’s where confidence comes into play. If you’re confident, others “opinions” won’t matter to you.
You’re absolutely right, we don’t know the burdens of strangers we see so politeness and empathy are always in order.
Some years ago I found this recipe for Swiss Chard. My husband and I love it. I usually use pine nuts instead of the almonds, but either is good. I’ve found that undercooking chard is the issue when it’s too chewy. This recipe calls for covering it and I think this step makes the difference rather than other recipes that I see only saute.
https://www.weightwatchers.com/ca/en/recipe/swiss-chard-with-raisins-and-almonds/562606966dbe4a123407dfad
It looks like a great one!
I couldn’t agree more on the plain white T shirt on men or women. However, a plain white T would be my preference over a sports themed/football team T which I see frequently while out to dine.
One of our favorite restaurant chains has a reasonable dress code, and asks men to take off their baseball hats. We like that.
I like that idea too.
Pearls are beautiful with white, including a t shirt. If scarves, earrings, or necklaces are a no go, then stack on the bracelets. Or to be really original, place a brooch on your shoulder. I agree that men look like they stopped midway when getting dressed if they are in a white t shirt. At least do a polo.
I love the look of a crisp white or black tee on a man — with well fitting jeans or trousers. My preferred outfit on my own guy, sitting across from me at the dinner table. In cooler weather, the tee just peeks out from under a sweater.
As for me, I would love to find the perfect tees**, but I do agree about necklace and/or scarf to jazz it up!
** I read every blog post about “the perfect white T!”, but alas, to no avail…..
I would like to see men make an effort. Here in the South men wear shorts so long their legs look short, but that’s not the point, it’s that they are so wrinkled and clearly worn from the last 2 or 3 days. They think no one notices, but those wrinkles and stretched-out fabric can’t be missed. They don’t wear make-up, color their hair, or even shave so put in the effort with clothing. Don’t skimp on washing those bottoms because it looks terrible when you do.
I agree!
White tee shirts and ball caps in restaurants, churches, etc. drive me crazy! So disrespectful!
I recently purchased from Amazon the same trolley you are considering. My daughter and I were planning a trip to a craft fair and I thought it would come in handy. It’s easy to transport, but neither of us bought anything, so I can’t yet speak to how it handles with anything but air in it!
Thanks Becky!
❤️❤️❤️ Thank you Jennifer! I agree with you about personalizing minimalist outfits. Part of the discussion with myself I mentioned involves accessories. By this age most of us have quite a collection of scarves, unique jewelry, bags, etc. that we have collected along the way – things we have because we liked them enough to buy them. I’m making a conscious effort to wear them whether they are technically “in style” or not. They are MY style! To keep a minimal style I just pick one to wear at a time.
As for chard and other greens (except collards which are a no) I find sauteeing a large amount of onions first os the way to go and for chard cook the stems first then add leaves. A hit of flavorful cheese like feta to finish it is a good combo. I also love “creamed” greens, making a fake cream sauce after sauteeing by adding several tablespoons of cream cheese and butter, melting that and incorporating and finishing with a splash of half and half. (Credit to Gina of Skinnytaste for this technique.)
It never occurred to me to add cheese! How yummy that would be. Thanks! I totally agree about the accessories. Having them in sight helps us remember what we have too!
This is easy (apart from the chopping) and is very tasty. Everyone who’s tried it complimented me!
https://www.food.com/recipe/sauteed-swiss-chard-dont-be-afraid-232055
It looks very good!
It seems that people just don’t dress up for much of anything any more. It probably bothers me more than it should, but I think there are some occasions when a person needs to make more of an effort! I go many places where I’m the only person “dressed up,” but I don’t care! I will continue to dress appropriately for the occasion and to please myself!
Dressing to please ourselves is all we can do. I often feel overdressed but that’s preferable for me than feeling under dressed. I hate that feeling!
Please don’t get me started on how people dress when dining out. I live in an upscale suburb south of Denver and so many think sloppy is appropriate casual. Baggy wrinkly cargo shorts on men with those huge pockets that hang, with oversized stretched out logo tees. And finished with a ball cap …. yikes. I simply couldn’t agree with you more. It takes such a small amount of effort to grab a nice pair of slacks or jeans and a button shirt. And it’s not just the men. We frequent a lovely local Italian restaurant and sloppy is rampant. It appears to be of a certain age group. Swiss Chard works well in soups. And I like this recipe for breakfast: https://highlandsranchfoodie.com/moroccan-greens/
Thank you!
I so enjoy your Monday musings Jennifer. I love your outfit, especially the hat and am looking forward to seeing your new haircut.
Shari’s comment is perfect. It took me years to stop buying more business type clothing as I’m not naturally a casual person. I still dress up more than average for even grocery shopping – ha!
Black & white is my favourite combination, but I always accessorize. In fact, the only time I don’t accessorize is when I’m gardening. 🙂
Have a great week everyone.
Casual doesn’t come naturally to some people. Me included 😁
Thumbs up on that one, Jennifer!
Good morning, it’s been a longtime since I sent a comment. Today’s post really spoke to me. My husband and I no longer go to work gatherings, I do miss. Getting dressed up for cocktail parties and dinner, so now I focus on my casual look on watching my grandsons who are in college at a rowing meet and another grandson on the swim team and the other teen grandchildren at their various events.
I appreciate everything you said, I never buy myself flowers, being comfortable in casual clothing that make me happy and feel good about my choices.
Have a most wonderful day!
Good morning Pat! Grandchildren are such treasures. You’re blessed.
I use the chard in a minestrone soup I make. Google “Chef John’s Minestrone Soup”
Still get the health benefits without any bitterness.
Love your posts everyday. Such practical information. Your hard work does not go unnoticed. Thank you.
I needed to see Shari’s comment; I retired last year and am still figuring it all out. I have gone from a professional wardrobe to a much more casual approach and have had a hard time figuring out my new normal. I struggle with buying too much and not letting go of pieces that I really don’t need anymore.
Have you noticed that, in general, women put in more effort when dressing to go out? My husband and often comment on a difference in effort. We notice women in “pulled together” situation appropriately outfits accompanied by men in sloppy tee shirts, sweatpants and shorts. Look around the next time you’re in a nice restaurant, theatre or airport.
O.K., my fuddy duddy rant is over.
I’ve noticed that too. The ladies seem to have more creativity as well. Accessories do help.
I love Swiss chard. The key to this recipe is par boiling the chard. Then I simply sauté some garlic and a shake of red pepper flakes in some good olive oil and add the chard and sauté. Salt and pepper to taste. My Italian aunt used to add an egg and scramble it right in and I sometimes do that for a little protein. Simple is best!
That sounds amazing!!