Monday Musings On Aging (Naturally?) and the Fear Of Looking Older
A reader shared that recently someone told her a brand she loved was “just for old people.” It wasn’t said harshly… just tossed out like a neutral observation. But it stuck with her, the way those comments sometimes do. And it got me thinking: why does that phrase carry so much weight? Why is it so often code for outdated, unflattering, or past your prime?
Fear of Looking Old
When did being older start disqualifying us from liking something or somehow make it uncool just by association?
We’re the ones with decades of lived experience, a clearer sense of what works, and often, the budget to skip the cheap mistakes. We know what’s worth it… and what causes blisters by lunchtime. But the moment something gets labeled as “for older women,” it’s often brushed off like it’s lost all style credibility.
It’s not really about the clothes. It’s about how aging still gets framed, especially for women, as something to downplay. We’re encouraged to look youthful, stay relevant, and quietly disappear at the same time. It’s a lot of mixed messaging for someone just trying to buy a pair of comfortable sneakers.
The funny thing is, most of us are dressing better now than we did at thirty. We’ve stopped squeezing into things that don’t fit, we skip the heels that require backup footwear, and we’ve made peace with our need for breathable fabrics. If that’s what “dressing like an older woman” means… then frankly, more people should try it.
Pantone Color Of The Year
Pantone named Cloud Dancer as the 2026 Color of the Year, and the internet promptly lost its mind.
It’s a soft, billowy white with just the right balance of warm and cool undertones. Peaceful, clean, and intentionally uneventful. But apparently, that was too much for some people. They wanted bold, and well, colorful. They wanted something with impact. Instead, they got serenity in a paint chip.
But Pantone doesn’t just throw darts at a color wheel. Each year, they choose something that reflects the zeitgeist or mood of the moment. And let’s be honest, the moment we’re in is noisy, overstimulating, and a little too loud in every direction.
So Cloud Dancer was chosen as an invitation to pause and reset. It’s not trying to dazzle anyone. It’s offering space to breathe.
And I like it. I’m always looking for calm in this crazy world…and not just in my wardrobe.
Of course, the fashion crowd (bloggers included) will now start linking every ivory sweater as “Cloud Dancer adjacent,” but the truth is, these shades take time to trickle into stores. So skip the search and go with the feeling instead: simple, soft, and not in a rush.
Aging Gracefully
A kind reader shared that at 66, she’s felt pressure to try Botox and fillers, but has chosen not to. She described herself as aging naturally, and gently asked if I might share my own philosophy around that choice.
First, I want to say how much I appreciated her message…not just the kind assumption, but the honesty behind it. There’s something deeply vulnerable about admitting you’ve felt pressure, and even more powerful about standing in your choice anyway.
It also brought up a larger question I think many of us are quietly navigating:
What does it actually mean to “age naturally”?
Does it mean skipping procedures? Not wearing makeup? Avoiding hair color or skin care products with strong claims? Or does it simply mean aging in a way that feels aligned with who you are?
Personally, I don’t see aging naturally as a fixed definition. I see it as an internal compass that helps you decide what feels supportive, not performative. Some women feel best letting every wrinkle show. Others feel more at ease with a little help. And many of us land somewhere in between, depending on the season or the mirror or the lighting in the fitting room.
To me, the philosophy isn’t about what we do or don’t do…it’s about why we do it.
If a decision comes from a place of shame, fear, or pressure to keep up, it’s worth pausing. But if it helps you move through the world with confidence, clarity, or just a bit more ease, then I think that’s a perfectly valid part of aging too.
We don’t owe anyone a particular version of what “natural” looks like. We owe ourselves the permission to age in a way that feels real, kind, and authentically us.
What does aging naturally mean to you?
This brought me to tears! Thank you so much for addressing this (my) issue! Your response truly put into words my own approach to aging gracefully; and the importance of making choices based upon what I want and not giving in to societal pressures.
I’m so glad this resonated with you Sheri and was helpful. Happy weekend
Jennifer, I totally get your frustration with needing sneakers! Have you tried New Balance Roav v1? Both Amazon and Nordstrom Rack have a large supply in wide with varied colors. They are so comfortable! And not as clunky as most sneakers. The ties can be hidden under a small flap, which gives the shoe a more streamlined look. They are my go-to with dresses. Comfort and support are so important.
I haven’t tried them. i loce the idea of hiding the laces. Thanks!
I think aging gracefully has a lot to do with how you are feeling. Are you healthy, or in pain. Poor health can cause us to age without even knowing it. If you are healthy and care how you look, put your best foot forward and put that bit of makeup on, tint your hair if desired, and most of all don’t pay attention to what others say. it’s your life live it well. I am 86 and I dress for me not them, I love my life and my style, I hope we all can appreciate who we are.
So true Shirley.
I do most of my shopping online, and that can make it hard to tell what colors truly are. Do you have any advice for selecting cool shades of white?
It is really hit and miss, sorry
I LOVE today’s post. Doing what feels authentic for you is incredibly powerful. After all, at 69 I feel like it is most important to honor our bodies and feelings and give each other grace to do the same.
There is much wisdom here in your post! I remember when I finally stopped looking at the size tag and started buying what actually fit me! What a revelation! I agree that I am dressing better than I ever did in my thirties., even since I retired 16 years ago. I pay much more attention to what actually looks good on me, and not the “fad of the moment.”
I thoroughly enjoy your posts, so please keep it up. AND you look great in blue, which is one of my favorite colors.
I do love blue!
I am old, and I don’t apologize for it. My health has been deteriorating for years (thanks to a degenerative disease) and as long as I can still enjoy myself, I think I’m a winner. I still wear what I want to, what I like, and so far no little children have run off shrieking at the site of me.
You always crack me up Kay
Exactly!
Thank you for bringing light to this subject and credibility to the right to person preferences!
Suzanne
Such a good post! If dressing like an “older person” means dressing with confidence, choosing clothing I love and feel comfortable in because I’ve had years of practice dressing myself and know innately what works for me, then I’m all in! I’m not especially trendy, but fashionable, clean and have well cared for garments. I dress now only to please myself, suit my lifestyle and feel good about what I’m wearing. You used the word authenticity in the “aging naturally” portion of the post. I think at a certain age (I’m 75) we are our happiest when we are our authentic selves. To each her own interpretation of what that might be!
Yes, authenticity becomes easier the older I get.
I understand the confusion and pressure to try and stay looking ‘young’. However, I take great solace in certain actors who have resisted the pull and who work I admire even more because of this: Linda Hamilton, Maggie Smith, and Mirusm Margoyles. I am thrilled with your blog because you address these issues and, also that you unabashedly feature photos of yourself even without makeup.
Yes, aging gracefully is an art I hope to divine and emulate.
LOL, the no makeup ones are a challenge for me. I agree aging well is an art!!
Im turning 68 and don’t really like the wrinkles on my face but it seems like even if we use expensive things to fight them we still just have wrinkley faces. I use castor and jojoba oil in whipped tallow, very reasonable pricing. It helps with both wrinkles and age spots and other odd little growths on skin. I love to dress nice for religious services, volunteer ministry work, doctors appts and dinner out. I love jewelry when going those places but where I live I feel like I could become a target for crime if im dressed too nicely just to grocery shop. I wear mimimal makeup, some eyeliner pencil, lipstick, blush, and cover up on any blemishes .My hair turned Marilyn Monroe white when I stopped coloring it. Like you I am thinning badly at the temples now tho. Can you tell me how you keep the top of your hair from falling down into your face all the time? I end up putting a clippie in it and feel it looks dumb but I cant stand my hair in my face.
I use hairspray to keep the front in place
Great question – what does aging gracefully mean? I had my upper eye lids done 7 years ago at the age of 65. I didn’t like how my upper lid was folding further and further down. I’m really glad I did it. Other than that, I’ve done nothing; no botox, no fillers, no face lift. How am I aging gracefully? My fashion style is to look put together. I avoid overly trendy clothes that I think would make me look like I was trying too hard! Most important is to stay active so your body does not feel like it’s old.
I look forward to reading what others have to say.
Thanks Nancy. This community has a lot of wisdon to share!
I’m aging gracefully. I can’t afford all the fillers and surgeries, and I spend enough on health related doctor visits. I’m 68, and I don’t like the wrinkles, crepey skin, and thinning hair. But this is me. I do wear makeup and dress modern, and I use a few “extra” things to keep my skin hydrated. I look as good as I can afford to, and have been told I dont look as old as I am. I like that.
Jennifer, you pose an interesting question today. Aging naturally is something I aspire to doing as I try to remain healthy and active. So I pay attention to what I eat, how I exercise, and how I present myself to the world. That means cooking organic meals from scratch more often than not, going to the Y for strength training several times a week, and wearing light makeup & jewelry whenever I leave the house. Also, whenever I have a health issue, I go to the doctor immediately and try to fix the problem as soon as possible. ( I will spare you the details of my recent trip to see my gynecologist.) What I don’t do is anything cosmetic (except dental work) because I hate pain and I am afraid of making things worse!
I am 76 with white hair, wrinkles, crackly joints and lots of other aging stages and I dearly relish and appreciate each white hair, wrinkle, creaky joints, etc. because of a sis who cancer took at 50 and never got to experience older age and all! I am simply grateful for each day!
I’m so sorry to hear about your sister.
I’m currently wearing zero heel drop, wide toe box running shoes with metatarsal relief pads from my physiotherapist. (Fortunately, there are many options in this type of shoe.) It means I’m living up to my potential!
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
Hunter S. Thompson
Great quote!
Your words are very meaningful and exactly how I feel! At almost 69, I continue to color my hair because it makes me feel like me! I wouldn’t have any cosmetic procedures done, but for others that feel comfortable with those, I say go for it! As for products, I have an entire arsenal that make me feel great- and that’s what’s important!
That’s the most important!
I too have chosen to age naturally and at 79 am well on my way. For me that means taking the best care of my skin and body with the best products I can afford, daily exercise and cloths that fit me well and are comfortable and work in my life style. I find that never going to bed without cleansing and nourishing my skin and never forgetting to take care of my feet and teeth are essential. Nothing ages you faster than rough calluses and split heels unless it is dirty glasses! No judgement on my part if anyone wants to use Botox, filllers and surgery. Fortunately I am blessed with good genetics and am aging well. I’m so grateful for my health and choose to enjoy each year I’m here.
To get rid of brown spots on your face, I’ve had good luck with Marcelle’s Vitamin C, peptide, and collagen moisturizing cream. I use it everyday. Wearing sun screen and a sun hat in the summer are important as well.
As for aging naturally, and brands for “older women”: I always wore makeup, I had a professional corporate job for 20 years and that meant makeup, dresses or skirt suits and heels every day. After that another 19 years in my own consulting business and on days when I didn’t have client meetings, I could relax in dress and makeup (including no makeup-up). But women I know who were stay-at-home moms would not wear makeup every day. So for me to still wear makeup on days when I am “in my public face” is “aging naturally.
Regarding brands for older women……when I was starting my professional career in the late 70s, I and everyone I know shopped at Talbots. But for some reason today’s young women (under 50) don’t seem to want it. I am not sure why………yes I think some of their styles read “old”. And I see plenty of negative reviews of their newer, shorter styles in shirts and sweaters, which I assume to be from older women who are used to a certain style. As an example of a recent purchase that I think does NOT read old: a navy blue (studded) short sleeve puffer jacket. You featured it in one of your recent try-ons but I had already purchased it. It has tiny subtle but noticeable blue sparkly stones. I wore it Christmas shopping one day a week or so ago, and got 5 complements from women of different ages. The two who were younger (in their 30s) seemed shocked when I said it was from Talbots.
I guess I must live in a bubble because I do not know a single person in my circle of friends who has had work done. All had interesting careers, most have or continue to travel, all have a level of community engagement, some exercise a lot, some moderately. Most are readers, some garden, some create artistically. Most are silver haired. I think they all look great, are fun to be with and are an inspiration. Some love fashion, others prefer work out clothes. II know they will each be there for me if in need. So we have all aged graciously… and beautifully.
Great great article!
Aging naturally to me means Freedom! Not thinking I have to lose 10 lbs to fit in to an article of clothing that I have been hanging on to. Freedom to wear comfortable shoes. Freedom to wear my hair in its natural color – sparkles of gray. I love this stage of life!
Yes!!
I’m 75, but as all of you my age know, in my mind I’m still a young woman. I take good care of myself, spend money on good hair color and cut, have a few extra pounds but dress to disguise them. Like Jennifer says, we have learned to find clothes that are comfortable but not dowdy. Her blog has been a lifesaver in that regard. Despite all that, our children worry that we’re losing it and strangers call us ma’am. And I understand Jennifer’s thoughts on Cloud Dancer. It’s a soothing pallette in these troubled times.
Yes! I don’t know why ma’am sounds so old, but it does.
I say ma’am to all ages! I think it shocks the younger ones!
I, too, prefer the term aging gracefully. I live on an island in the PNW and a bad hair day makes me think of aging naturally in not a good way (just the way Anne described!). Aging is a feeling, and when you come to terms with it, it feels graceful.
To Linka K, have you heard of, or tried plated? It is available in Canada, and was recommended to me by my esthetician and has worked wonders for me. I just use products and have facials 3-4 times a year. Hope this helps.
I’m curious to learn more about plated
Lots to think about.
I think we dress better than we did when we were 30 is because we are not 30 anymore. You don’t think about it when you’re that age. I agree with MP3 that old people comments are rude, but they say more about the other person than about us. I agree that aging in a way that feels aligned with who I am is what’s important. At some point we are medically old, but being interesting, lively, and having a sense of humor as well as staying in shape all help offset physical changes.
I agree!
Thank you for your blog on aging gracefully. I am trying but not doing a very good job of it. I enjoy your blog. Have a fun day.
I love that Pantone color. I like peaceful and natural colors. I’m turning 76 in February and I do use Botox a few times a year. Not to look younger but to feel better for myself. I just feel more like myself. My eye Dr does it and it’s very subtle. I don’t mind aging but I want to stay fit and healthy. I prioritize exercise and healthy eating. Actually growing older is kind of liberating!
I agree, there is much freedom in aging
To me aging naturally is being the best you are with good grooming, tasteful clothes that compliment you with a positive attitude. Dodie
I’m not in the aging naturally column: if I were aging naturally I’d have about 3-4 teeth left in my mouth and wouldn’t be able to eat anything that required chewing.
So, put me in the pick and choose column. I think the trick to aging naturally is to be aware of your skin tone. If you color your hair then go for highlights and softer tones. If you have the figure for young sizes consider whether the style suits your state of dignity.
I snorted my tea up my nose on that one Rose! Great point, I would have no front tooth without lots of dental cosmetic surgery.
I’m smiling too! I fell on my face gardening and broke one of my front teeth. Six crowns later and I have my beautiful, so I’m told , smile back. Otherwise, I’m 81 next Sunday and all the rest of me is natural. Yes I could lose ten pounds but I still look petite and slim. My coloring looks like yours Jennifer. Yes, I have some little brown spots that are from years of long distance bicycling with my husband, hiking in the mountains and skiing. Now I only walk a mile a day with him and our little dog. We do live outside of a small rural mountain town in southern Colorado. There isn’t any pressure to do cosmetic work on our faces or bodies. It would actually look strange here. So demographic does make a difference. I see that pressure in my California family. I think there has been some subtle work being done on my 43 year old granddaughter. It makes this great grandmother feel sad as she is lovely as she is. That is just my personal opinion and preference. Make your own choices ladies, we are free to chose and who really cares what other people think?
Re: aging naturally. To me it means no invasive procedures – no botox, no fillers, and certainly no surgical procedures. My main defenses against what I consider to be aging faster than I “should” are exercise and sunscreen. I do use a few minimal skin care products beyond sunscreen. I use a gentle cleanser at night followed by moisturizer. I use the same moisturizer under my eyes during the day. I use a tranexamic acid product to lighten a few age spots and I use a retinal cream. Some people might say that using these products is not natural. I just consider my routine to be a relatively inexpensive and totally non-invasive way of helping Mother Nature.
I also do use color cosmetics. I started when I was 13. My girlfriends were all using blush to enhance their appearance. I felt like an ugly duckling at that age and did not believe I would magically turn into a swan. I saw using color cosmetics as a way to look prettier. My mother was dead set against using makeup, which, of course, made it even more tempting. I was disobedient. I bought makeup with money I had saved from allowances and babysitting. I put it on at school and took it off in the school restroom before going home in the afternoon. Thus began my love affair with makeup. I like to think that I have learned to use it tastefully in my 71 years of life.
I also color my hair. I have medium, golden brown hair, or I did before the gray started growing in during my 50s. I always thought gray hair looked striking on dark brunettes such as my husband. But, I always thought that gray mixed with golden brown just dimmed my bright coloring. I have very fair, golden ivory skin and green/hazel eyes. I wear clear chroma, warm, medium colors best. So far, I don’t care for how gray mixed with golden brown looks on me.
My mother, who is 95, never colored her hair, and never used any makeup other than lipstick, would probably say I am not aging naturally. Then there is my sister who is 61. She has had chin implants, surgery on her lips to make them look a tiny bit fuller, botox, and so much filler that her skin looks as though it will split any moment. She colors her hair, and applies her heavy foundation makeup with a spatula. She always sports heavy frosted turquoise eyeliner above and below- well below- her eyelids, lipstick beyond her lipline, and Tammy Faye Baker mascara. She has been dismayed that at more than one party she has hosted in recent years that some of her guests thought I was her younger sister. I am actually 10 years her senior! Her grooming choices are certainly very different than mine, but they seem to make her happy.
I think that most of us make choices somewhere between my mother’s and my sister’s. I believe that all of us sane women do bathe and we comb and brush our hair. We put on daytime clothing before going out in public. These things at any age are not entirely natural. But, even my cat grooms himself every day! I believe we should do what makes us happy.
That being said, I do think that some of us go to extreme lengths to look younger (my sister for one). There is also a class divide factor that I find disturbing. Not everyone can afford to have a facelift even if it were something they desire. In our culture the ability to have expensive cosmetic procedures done is a marker of so-called success just as is wearing ridiculously expensive designer garments.
Your concluding comment was perfect. At our age, we don’t need anyone’s permission to do or not do anything regarding our appearance. The bottom line is for each of us to feel comfortable in her own skin. Thank you for your post.
I will admit I have very strong feelings (opinionated, but at my age I’m allowed….wink wink) on somethings in the medical world. I’m always wondering about the long term effects treatment/drugs (I do understand/respect that for some diagnosis it’s unavoidable)……I just question the pharmaceutical industry too much and if something was developed and approved…..how long are the long term studies? Using Botox as an example….if it blocks any nerves and helps remove wrinkles, I hope that if you make the choice to stop treatment your nerves and muscles still know how to function again (as we get older we loose elasticity and muscle tone). I wish our society wasn’t so judgemental on women and men’s appearances. I’m noticing more advertisements for men and skin care, so I guess the beauty industry is looking for new revenue streams.
My niece had a minor stroke as a result of an undiagnosed congenital “hole in the heart” in her early 50s. She was a regular Botox user, and when first admitted to the ER she did not have the facial asymmetry consistent with a stroke due to the Botox despite weakness on one side of her body. This is a very uncommon thing to happen, and there are potential side effects with almost anything, but it did happen to her. My husband recently began a GLP-1 medication to lose weight and had severe diarrhea, vomiting and nausea – we joked that now we know how people lose weight with Mounjaro! Turns out they are somewhat common side effects. He is taking a break and will start it again at the lower dose he was initially taking without side effects as it is prescribed by his cardiologist to reduce strain on his heart and avoid diabetes and kidney disease, but I worry about long-term effects as these meds are relatively new.
I’ve not gone the way of Botox or Fillers, neither have I had a facelift. I do try different creams and serums. I would like to look “fresher” if I may use that term. I often think of trying Botox, Fillers, or even to go so far as a facelift. They all scare me though. What if I look different or unnatural. We’ve all seen those ladies who have obviously had work done and it is not a good look. So, I’m on the fence.
I have several neighbors who are a bit unrecognizable because of the work they’ve had done, but they seem happy with it so we each must do what works for us.
I’m in better shape at 71 than I was in my 50s. I look several years younger than my chronological age, in spite of my totally natural salt & pepper hair. I do get botox in an effort to eliminate the “11” between my eyebrows ( from a lifetime of nearsightedness”) and to soften the crow’s feet by my eyes. Otherwise, working with a personal trainer and staying active ( golf, hiking) has helped my feel young, strong, and vibrant. I’m not as mentally sharp as I was when I was younger, but I’m more temperate. I want to stay vital for my young grandchildren to be a part of their lives, something my mother was unable to do, with chronic debilitating health issues.
I love my life and my freedom.
Thanks Paula. I’ve used Botox lightly since I first heard of it for my 11s which made me appear angry and tired.
“We don’t owe anyone a particular version of what “natural” looks like. We owe ourselves the permission to age in a way that feels real, kind, and authentically us.”
And this is why I follow you! No judgement, just support. It’s hard enough to be a woman over 40 these days, much less in our 60s! We need to be kinder to ourselves and each other. Thank you 😊
Thanks for being here with us Sandra!
Aging to me is a privilege. At 65 I am choosing to still color my hair, but is is an ash hue instead of blonde. It blends better with my skin color and my undertone of my natural hair which has turned cool. I’m choosing cosmetics that are gentler on my skin and lean toward natural shades instead of harsh blacks with hardline eyeliners or bright lips. Again, blends better with my natural tones. I agree with you on what to wear. Substance and quality instead of quantity. Nothing more luxurious than a well fitting pair of jeans and a comfy sort sweater of natural fabric for this time of year. Thank you for your insights and guidance.
I just turned 68. During Covid, like so many, I let my hair go natural and I love it. I have , striking silver streaks in a modern cut. I think they look great and unique. I walk four miles every morning, run, practice yoga, lift weights, and volunteer at a local food bank. I’m a master gardener, and I started a neighborhood book club as I neared retirement. I put thought into what I’m wearing, even on days I have no plans, but strive to shop my closet without buying more at this stage. I am politically engaged. I notice that many women in this largest city in this state do not color their hair — I don’t associate it with “rural”, as one commenter mentioned. I’ve been a vegetarian for 50 years, and definitely consider myself a natural woman, as the song goes.
If you want to color your hair and wear makeup and whatever else, please feel free! Let’s lift each other up, and look for common ground, rather than judge each other based on appearance.
I always appreciate your honest discussions about aging. Ditto your readers’ comments on the topic. I dismiss anything the media has to say and I can’t understand my friends’ reticence to talk about this. I also can’t understand the hoopla about Cloud Dancer. What’s better than a white button down or t-shirt over denim? I love stripes and white always has a role in my striped items.
Hi Jennifer I’m 76 and time is going by faster than ever! Ageing is what we prayed for yesterday and taking care of our body is the responsibility we have to thank God for that. I have many issues that I won’t let slow me down but avoid things like lifting heavy objects and tripping on scatter rugs😂
Fashion and hair dye and makeup are all fun and I use everyone of them; after all, I still have to put my best foot forward as an inspiration to my husband because we’re both on our journey together😇
You inspire me and I love your attitude and great advice daily.
Sandra
Thanks for being here Sandra.
I haven’t had any procedures done, nor do I care to, but I have used tretinoin for years, plus vitamin C. People always tell me I have beautiful skin. I always say I just camouflage well with makeup. Is that aging naturally? I don’t know, but at 77 I am comfortable with what I’m doing.
,
That’s the most important part Pam
Aging naturally for me, means no face lifts, botox, fillers. I am lucky because there is no pressure in my social groups to have work done. We are a relaxed group of retired women who focus less on looks . I wouldn’t want to start having work done ,because you have to always keep doing it, or keep chasing youth. We will never look young enough or maybe not look like ourselves.
I use face creams and makeup. I did quit coloring my hair , because I have 90% white and color would not hold. I think we look younger when we keep our weight down, wear light makeup ,and dress in clothes that fit well and look good on us.
The older I get , the more I do what makes me feel good, which makes me feel young.
I think of aging as feeling and looking my best self. When I go out the door I want to feel ready to do what needs to be done. I, personally, feel better when I have taken the time to pull together my look. That means nice looking hair, a bit of makeup and intentional dressing. With those things in place I feel confident and ready to conquer the day😃 and from there I don’t think about my age at all…unless my feet begin to scream at me😂
Dear Jennifer – I feel like you were reading my mind. At 67, I’ve been thinking a great deal about aging and how it’s affected my self-image. I’ve been resistant to intervention treatments, but have started to think about a neck lift and eye lid surgery as things have started drooping. My big concern is looking rigid and phony. I hate that plastic look. I have no idea how to find someone to trust to do low key and natural looking procedures. I’ve heard horror stories of people getting addicted to treatment after treatment. If you have any suggestions for finding a trusted professional, I would appreciate your guidance.
I would start asking around for recommendations. The people who look like they’ve had work done, would not be a good source, so I agree…it’s hard to find. You could start by asking your dermatologist and go from there.
When I was thinking about finding someone to do a little work, and I do mean a LITTLE work, I asked my regular doctor who his wife would go to! And, he recommended someone that I really liked and there was no pressure! Just thought you might want to know how I found my doctor! Good luck!!
Brilliant idea Nikki
I saw my ophthalmologist who does eyelid surgery along with the usual things such as cataracts. When I asked about my droopy lids at outside corners of eyelids, he said sometimes a stitch or two above end of eyebrow in scalp region better to do. Good luck with your search.
Thanks for sharing that Susan! I had no idea.
For me, aging naturally means letting go of the things that don’t serve you and embracing the things that brings you happiness and peace. Everyone’s journey is different…
I love that description.
This is my description exactly, Patty! I couldn’t have said it better.
What a great definition!
I’m 67 and “old people’ comments make the talker look rude. At this stage I don’t care about opinions. I’m comfortable in my own skin.
Beautiful thoughts! Thank you!
Good day Jennifer ,thank you for your article about aging I liked your point of view. As for me I am a vintage large of 74 and are happy with who I am . I have not used, bottoms, fillers, eyebrow tattoos or lip injections . And would not like to do that . I think if you are happy in your life you will accept your age , you should be content with your children and grandchildren and enjoy many pleasures what life can offer you if only you see it .
Dress in your favorite colours and clothes , smell good, put on a nice scarf and have a nice supper somewhere or just go out and have a nice cappuccino somewhere,look at all the Xmas decorations in the malls and feel blessed that you are healthy and you appreciate life all together it’s an attitude of seeing the beauty all around you that makes
you accept your age and came this far even with all the struggles you had in the past . Enjoy the age you have tight moe and make everyday a special one for yourself .
Hello Jennifer,
I am one of your Canadian readers. I, too, have sun related age spots along my jawline on both sides of my face and they drive me crazy! I took a look at the skin renewal set (Mother Science) that you mentioned in your blog this morning. Unfortunately this company only ships their products within the US, so that leaves us Canadians without that option. If you or any of your readers could recommend another skin care company that specifically targets age spot problems and would also be available to Canadians, I would love to hear about it. Many thanks! I read your blog everyday! Keep up the good work! Lynn K.
I know RX creams are very effective for it so you could ask your Dr for Hydroquinone cream which works very well.
This is one of the lines sold at my dermatologist’s office.
https://zoskinhealth.ca/
I’m 57 and ZO is my favorite!
To me ageing naturally means just that. No hair dye, fillers, botox, face lifts etc – just let nature take its course. But, like ‘natural’ child birth this approach can be painful and one that I have eschewed. Have not had a face lift, but certainly have fillers, botox and dye my hair. But, there comes a time (which I am approaching), where the fillers are not as effective and the hair colour becomes much higher maintenance. Not sure when that time will be though. As for clothes, I was much better dressed in my 30s, as I had a more glam lifestyle and my weight was 48kgs, so everything looked good. These days, it is more about clothes hiding a multitude of problems and shoes not hurting. The one good thing about ageing (apart from not being dead), is really not caring terribly much what other people think.
I could not agree more! I was begging for an epidural after 23 hours of labor. I love your attitude. Thanks for sharing.
You are right, aging naturally feels different from woman to woman. I am 66 and for me lines are no problem but I do not feel good with grey hair,although I like the look at other women.
Thank you for your writings, you are honest and authentical and I offen find valuable advice.
I have chosen to let every smile-worry line show. My big 3 are
retinol, vitamin c and sunscreen. Derm checks every year. Dress in what makes me feel good. Shoes have definitely changed from fun
to things a platypus could wear!! Find peace in who you are it is beautiful.
Funny you should mention shoes. Mine are changing too!
What an interesting question! My mind weirdly translated aging naturally to aging gracefully. I don’t know if it’s just me, but gracefully and naturally convey two very different things. Aging naturally conjures up (for me) a vision of a woman with no makeup, no hair coloring, no anti aging treatments or pills, and no extra effort made to do anything other than just live their lives! I assume this imaginary woman lives a very rural lifestyle. I think of this woman as a bit counter-cultural and confident and centered. However, so much of what constitutes aging naturally within the US is location specific! Maybe it’s more that it is so incredibly cultural, using a broad definition of culture. Most of my fellow city dwelling friends are focused on menopause health right now and overall fitness. My friends color their hair, wear makeup, and dress with at least a nod to current styles. A few people I’m friends with have used Botox and quite a few get facials and some more intense skin treatments. Most of our discussions about aging are now about HRT, existential stress, and how tired we all are.. I think many of us would try more anti aging interventions if they were not so time consuming and expensive. We also laugh about aging quite a bit. But we do see women around us with faces that have been dramatically altered through serious plastic surgery. I don’t think anyone would think they look younger, but clearly they believe they look better. I sometimes wonder what do they think of us?
Thanks for your comment Anne. I do think location plays a role in the societal pressures some women feel about this. I can totally see the woman you describe!
I enjoy your articles daily.
Aging gracefully is being oneself and feeling confident in whatever choices one makes be it botox, hair color, or more.
I, personally, am not yet ready to be “gray grandma,” so I keep my hair highlighted and love it.
It’s also a matter of being as active as one is able. I have 7 grandchildren, and I try to keep up with their many and varied activities from sports to marching band to college visitations. I love it!!!! I try to remain healthy and looking good
So that I can continue to do this.
Open heart surgery at 78 slowed me down a bit last year, but I’m back better than ever (thanks to incredible doctors and nurses)and plan to stay that way as long as I can.
Age is largely a frame of mind. One should do what she can as long as she can with a smile and a grateful heart.
I prefer “aging gracefully” as it covers what makes sense to that person and suggests a kindness to ourselves and others. 🙂
Honestly this is such a charged topic as women get so many mixed messages about aging and looks. I’m not a fan of Botox or fillers or procedures because I think they look so fake. But I do still color my hair and wear makeup as I’m still in the workforce and have experienced age discrimination and comments about being old. It’s difficult as it’s so personal and really up to each person individually as to what makes them feel confident and happy. I say “you do you!”
Age discrimination makes me so angry! I’m sorry you have to deal with it. Surprising, I do in the blogging world as well. Brands would much rather hire a woman in her 40s than 60s.
I too give myself permission to be me. 85 a little poochie, a lot of energy a few silver hairs, a few twinkles on my face. ( wrinkles are on clothes). I enjoy life to the fullest. I still dress comfortable, I love color. I will not let that old lady in. Thank you Jennifer for all you do to inspire me.
Wonderful attitude!
Twinkles! ❤️
I think people should do whatever they feel regarding aging. If you want botox, etc., go for it and vice versa. In my opinion it is rude and disrespectful to say anything derogatory to anyone about their appearance. I am 71 and with age, freedom to not care what someone thinks of me is liberating. Mama always said, ‘if you can’t say something nice then keep your mouth shut.’ More people should adhere to this. Kindness is free.
I agree.
People who comment about “old” may be privileged to get there someday, perhaps not. Better to recognize and appreciate all that mature people can offer, not show immaturity by thinking in such a way, and verbalizing it to hurt others. I loved my mother’s wrinkles, especially when she smiled. A wonderful memory.
Such a great post- I am almost week out from 67, and I have finally learned to embrace my time in life and age ‘naturally’. What that means to me is loving my white hair, my wrinkles and crepey skin. I have earned these and have so much life left in me!
Thank you for these observations and the invitation to discuss. I’ve never worn makeup and I’m not going to start now (63.5). I do wear a bit of Burt’s.Bees lip color for special occasions but … what they see is what they get! My dishwater blonde hair has turned grey, and I like it. I’d like to find a better casual style but as I have two more years of work, I’m just “hanging in there” until I can really experiment with my style. And you are giving me lots of ideas. Thank you!
I just saw comedian Fran Leobwitz (sp.) and she said there are three looks – young, old and surgical!!!! I’m still laughing! I’ll take old✅