Monday Musings on Dressing For How You Need To Feel
Happy Monday, ladies. Today, I’m thinking about the times when your body demands a total detour from your usual daily uniform. We spend a lot of time engineering outfits based on the weather, the calendar, or our proportions, but sometimes the most important question in the morning is simply: How do I need my clothes to make me feel today?
Last Friday, I woke up feeling like I’d been hit by something slow-moving but thorough. My bones ached in that deep, dull way that’s hard to explain unless you’ve been there. My doctor suspects it’s a side effect of my bone density medication, so I had an X-ray scheduled to check on my hips.
Naturally, I stood in my closet, and my hand automatically reached for my usual summer fallback…linen pants and a striped shirt.
The Shift From Structure To Softness
Linen pants and a striped shirt signal structure, and last Friday, my body was practically begging for softness. Everything hurt. I needed ease, comfort, and a little bit of feminine energy to pull myself together.
I put the pants back and pulled out a white balloon skirt instead. Because it was hot outside, the volume of the skirt felt airy and free rather than restrictive.
To keep the outfit balanced, I added a simple tank top. The key here was the length… it was cropped at exactly the right spot on my torso, so there was absolutely no need to tuck it in and add bulk around my waist. I slipped on comfortable sandals and a pair of shiny earrings, but the outfit still needed a final anchor.
I dug through my wardrobe archives and found this soft leather flower belt. It brought in some texture and added a touch of whimsy that I didn’t know I needed. Sometimes, a tiny, unexpected detail is exactly the trick to lift a neutral outfit out of a slump when you don’t have the energy for major styling.
Why Mood Trumps Your Style Words
I’ve always believed it’s incredibly helpful to choose three specific style words to keep your wardrobe cohesive. It gives you an excellent filter so when you’re out shopping, you can simply ask yourself whether a piece aligns with those words before taking it to the register.
But some mornings, getting dressed has nothing to do with checking the right style boxes. It’s entirely about what you need from your clothes to get through the next twelve hours.
Maybe you need softness against your skin, a bit of rigid structure to keep you focused, more physical ease, a pop of color, or something just feminine enough to lift your spirits without making you feel like you’re playing dress-up.
We talk constantly here on the blog about dressing for our body shapes, our color palettes, personal contrast levels, our proportions, and our daily schedules. All of that matters, of course. But your mood matters just as much. There are days when the weather forecast and your calendar only tell half the story. The better question to ask yourself in the closet is: What will help me move through this particular day with a little more comfort and confidence?
Using Clothes As A Practical Tool
If you’re feeling a bit exposed or uncertain about the day ahead, you might automatically reach for structure with a third piece like a great jacket, a stronger color, or a shoe that makes you feel steady on your feet. Black always makes me feel a bit more powerful, so that’s usually my starting point when I need a little armor.
But if you’re tired or just feeling a bit tender, you need the opposite. You need soft fabrics, an easy waistband, a skirt that actually moves with you, or a small detail that simply makes you smile when you catch yourself in the mirror.
That’s not frivolous, by the way. It’s highly practical. Clothes sit on our bodies all day, and they absolutely change how we feel.
The next time you get dressed, look past the weather and the to-do list for a second, and ask yourself what you actually need from your clothes today. Is it ease, softness, strength, color, or maybe a little bit of whimsy?
Some days, the right outfit isn’t the one that makes the most sense on paper. It’s the one that helps you feel just a little more ready to face the day.
Over To You: What’s Your Comfort Outfit?
The next time you’re standing in your closet feeling less than 100%, try looking past the calendar and listen to what your body is asking for. There is actually a whole field of fashion psychology dedicated to this concept. Scientists call it enclothed cognition, which is just a fancy way of saying that what we wear directly impacts our mindset. But we don’t need a study to tell us that.
How do you handle the days when your physical comfort or mood doesn’t match your schedule? Do you have a specific piece you reach for when you need a little extra comfort or a confidence boost? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
I love this outfit on you! I hope you are feeling better soon.
I absolutely love your outfit choice today. When I’m having a day that requires softness against my skin, I always choose a long soft maxi skirt with a tee or tank top, in the winter an oversized sweater from Quince. In the evening when I’m looking for comfort without buttons, lace or elastic to lounge or sleep in I grab an oversized men’s tee shirt and as soon as I put it on, my body just says aahhhh. These days comfort is key!
Comfort feels so good!
I rarely comment but this outfit is stellar! You look fabulous. And you are right that the belt is what pulls it all together. Love the hair tucked behind one ear and those great earrings.
Thanks Kim
Looks great, Jennifer!
This post hit the nail on the head! I have several Barefoot Dreams cardigans that I ALWAYS wear to any medical appointment, routine Dr appts, dentist, mammogram, etc. It’s my security blanket and a sensory pleasure when wrapped around myself! And medical offices are usually on the cooler side, so the warmth is appreciated! I am glad I’m not the only one who sometimes chooses comfort over fashion, but the BFD cardis are also very stylish!
Rest assured you’re not alone choosing comfort.
Interesting post. I changed my shirt 3 times this morning. Finally settling on a loose fitting gauze tee. I’d been up since 3 a.m. when my cat captured a mouse and brought to the bathtub to “play”. Comfort was what I need today. And I have noticed that my choice of colors is often dictated by my mood. Hope you feel better soon.
That sounds like a rude awakening 🤣 I changed my top three times before this one clicked.
I have a specific piece, but it’s one I leave off. A bra. Granted I am not well endowed so I can do this. I have extremely sensitive skin and every single bra I have ever tried irritates me at times. From the highest priced to the cheapies. If I can leave that off, I am very much happier and less irritated by the world. A 100% cotton or silk tank top under clothes is fine by me..
You are lucky to be able to forgo a bra.
You look lovely!
Thank you!
Jennifer, you look fantastic in this outfit. Classically chic!
I truly hope you feel better soon. Aching bones is definitely not pleasant.
You look fantastic in the skirt and top. Simple but oh so stylish. Sorry to hear about you feeling poorly. May I ask what osteo meds you take? My endocrinologist wants me to start taking them but I never so reluctant due to side effects. Hope you feel on the mend soon
I’m on Teriparatide which I inject daily. It’s certainly not for sissies but it’s a medication that actually builds bone density, not just prevent more loss. I’ll have to go on one of those after to maintain any bone I’ve built.
Thank you That is the same drug the Endo wants to put me on for the reasons you describe. She then said after that finishes, it would be Prolia. It is the latter drug I refuse to use due to the fact you probably have to be on it forever. It is depressing when doctors dismiss the side effects that affect people using osteo drugs when there are too many complaints about them.
The photo of you is wonderful, stylish yet understated. If you feel unwell, your smile, perfect haircut, and the look you put together are fooling the world. I responded recently to the post you did about buying the lemony-limey tank top even though it’s not “your color”. This has been a difficult year for me, aging has caught up with hubby and me. Many doc appointments but (knock wood) nothing dire thus far. But it’s like whack-a-mole: new issues crop up before the last one can be resolved. So I decided I was only going to wear “happy” cuts and colors this summer. More frivolity and joy as I hope to regain a sense of normalcy.
That’s how our health feels lately too! Perfect description. I’m going for as much joy as possible these day and dressing is a powerful tool.
I have fibromyalgia, so soft & not rigid feeling clothing is my norm. The softest cotton dresses, bamboo pants with stretch waistlines & Hawaiian Rip Skirts that are so forgiving with their velcro attachments. Sandra
I’m so sorry to hear that Sandra. I’ve read that it’s very painful.
Put that outfit on repeat rotation! THE best look, including your shorter haircut. So flattering.
Thanks Shelly
Jennifer,
Great outfit, you look amazing! I hope you feel better soon.
I have a question that is totally off topic though, have you tried the Athletica “All Ways Bootcut Pant”? I was wondering how it differs from the Endless Pant?
Thanks!
I have not but it sounds like I should.
Feel better soon! Gathered skirt, tee, and sandals today. And it feels soft, comfy, and you look great in yours!
Hi, Jennifer. Is this a new silhuette for you? If so, keep it up! It is very flattering. I especially like the way the belt makes your waist look so tiny and keeps the outfit grounded. I bet you could wear any color top with this skirt and get loads of different looks. Great job and hope you feel better soon.
Totally new for me 😊
I took Alendronate for 4 yrs. While it did improve my bone density, I did have a few side effects (acid reflux and a mild esophagus issue). I stopped taking it 2 yrs ago. My endocrinologist wanted me to have a Reclast infusion last summer, but after researching it I decided not to. My latest bone density scan showed that my density has fortunately remained the same ( It improved to borderline osteopenia/osteoporosis) for the past 2 yrs. My spine is ok, but my hips have deteriorated a bit. I am seeking a 2nd opinion with a Dr. that actually specializes in osteoporosis at a top medical school in my area. It took me 10 months to get in. I am curious to see what he will recommend. Good luck with your journey.
Please keep me posted on what you learn. Good luck.
Jennifer, you look wonderful,,,I really never thought of the idea of dressing this way. I just have a uniform, t-shirt, jeans, tennis shoes..earrings, a few bracelets and a watch…but understated casual is my go – to. The outfit on you is gorgeous, I wish I could look as good. Hope you are feeling better, and the medication doesn’t keep you feeling like a truck ran over you
Thanks Nancy
Jennifer, you look darling in your skirt outfit! It’s so fresh and fun! Perfect for summer!
You look positively amazing in that outfit. Love the contrast on you. You look comfortable AND polished. More like this please!
It’s felt wonderful too. Just what I needed that day.