Self Care: It’s Your Time

Self-care is taking a backseat to too many things for me these days so this post is as much for me as it is for you. I’m not giving myself enough me-time, are you? Today I’m sharing eight self-care rituals I needed to remind myself of this week.

Get Comfortable Saying No

Being helpful and agreeable is so ingrained in women’s psyche, we often have a hard time saying no. No to things we don’t want to do. No to things we don’t have time to do. No to anything. We’re afraid of offending or letting someone else down so we end up letting ourselves down.

Get comfortable saying no. “I’m sorry, that won’t work for me. I would love to, but not this time. I’m not able to do that now. These are all polite but make it pretty clear, you’ve just said no. You don’t have to justify why, it’s just no. This takes practice so keep at it.

Back Off Social Media

Social media can be a black hole that sucks you under and never lets you go. Trust me, I know. You pop on Facebook to see what’s new with your distant cousins and before you know it, several hours have passed with nothing to show for it. You’ve had a look at everything people want you to see and quite possibly been exposed to keyboard warriors who have nothing kind to say. Walk away. Put yourself on a social media diet which leaves more time for you.

Take a Walk

The simple act of tying on your sneakers and heading out the door can be some of the best medicine you’ll get all week. Leave your phone turned off. If you’re listening to a book on tape, no matter the subject, you are concentrating. The goal is to allow your mind to empty which allows clear thoughts to emerge.

Pamper Yourself

In big or small ways, all self-pampering is helpful. It can be as simple as buying a new body lotion you love the smell of, stealing ten minutes with a book that transports you to a place you’d love to visit, giving yourself a fresh pedicure, or taking the time to rub lotion into your tired legs and feet at the end of the day. Do it for no one but you.


Noise pollution is real and as toxic to our health as air pollution. The simple act of turning down the volume helps settle my nerves and lowers my blood pressure. I have a few classical albums (are they even called that anymore?) downloaded to my phone but I find myself enjoying the spa music on this Calm app more relaxing.

Tub Time

We’re not all bath lovers but it’s a habit worth pursuing. Much like a soak in a hot tub at a fancy spa, decompressing in your bathtub with some Epsom salts and/or essentials oils is about as soothing as it gets. Skip the book or magazine here so your mind can wander.


Sitting down to meditate isn’t easy for most of us. Whenever I feel like I don’t have ten minutes to give to meditation… I know I need it more than ever. I like to use this Insight Timer (free) which I can program to play ambient white noise and set a soft gong to let me know when my ten, fifteen, or however long you like is up.

Sleeppillows and comfy bed

Restful sleep can be all too elusive these days when we are busy, stressed, or watching the news too much. Yet that’s exactly when our body needs it the most. Dialing down the distractions is key to a good night’s sleep so start early. Leave your phone in another room. Play some soft music. Rub your feet with a luscious lotion. Set the stage for quiet time and you have a much better chance of getting restful sleep.

How do you decompress? What rituals do you use to ensure you get enough me-time?


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  1. mimi
    October 11, 2020 / 5:54 pm

    I really wish I liked taking a bath but I don’t.
    I do enjoy getting my hair washed and styled.
    I enjoy a mild scented candle.
    I enjoy music without words or a cappella.
    I enjoy cuddling up with my pillows with laptop nearby to watch a dvd after doing
    18k steps at work on Fridays with a good old fashioned vanilla malt.

  2. Martha Edmundson
    October 9, 2020 / 7:05 pm

    Thank you for this post, Jennifer. I was very convicted of my lapse into social media. I am using it as me time. However, I feel me time should either be creative or healthy — walking, epsom salt baths, would improve so many problems for me. I also might add gentle yoga and/or stretching. Thanks to everyone who shared their ideas. It was a great conversation. I always learn so much here. Take care, everyone.

    • Jennifer
      October 10, 2020 / 8:13 am

      Enjoy your weekend Martha

  3. Lana
    October 9, 2020 / 5:55 pm

    I agree and echo most of the comments here. Hot baths with home made all natural bath bombs before bed help me to sleep better. I also turn on happy dance tunes and boogie away in my living room a few times per week. Living in Alberta, I dread winter with option of winter of a get away somewhere south and hot won’t be an option likely. So, will find some tunes from the tropics and islands to help escape too. May crank up the heat indoors and put on shorts & tank top while I boogie to Bob Marley 😉
    I also finding exercise helps…. Never enjoy the psyching myself to do it but always enjoy how good I feel after sweating a bit.

  4. Dianne🇨🇦
    October 9, 2020 / 1:32 pm

    How timely is this post?!
    Me time…..such a great idea.
    There are some good things with this COVID stuff.
    I have discovered audible books & now give myself permission to read mid day.
    Winter is going to be interesting 🤔 no golf,no driveway get togethers,I hate shopping wearing a mask so….. as I said,very timely advice,thanks Jennifer.

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 5:46 pm

      I am thinking of the long winter ahead too:)

  5. Eve
    October 9, 2020 / 12:51 pm

    I go to Netflix and bring up a fireplace and just relax looking and listening to it crackle while drinking Earl Grey. I wish I had a real one. I love spraying a favorite perfume over the bed just before we go to sleep. Usually a lavender blend so it’s supposed to help sleep. I love massaging a nice smelling cream into my feet and legs before bed. Just going out on my porch and looking up at the stars relaxes me. Be careful though because you can get dizzy if you look too long.

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 5:45 pm

      The stars are very soothing. I love your ideas, Eve

  6. Elaine @ Following Augustine
    October 9, 2020 / 12:27 pm

    Such good advice, Jennifer! We’re no good to anyone else if we don’t take care of ourselves.

  7. Kay
    October 9, 2020 / 11:59 am

    I tell everyone Facebook is an invention of the devil. I stopped five years ago, and I am a much more contented person.

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 5:44 pm

      I have to use it for my business, otherwise, I avoid it whenever possible.

  8. Gerri
    October 9, 2020 / 11:22 am

    My best relaxation is to find something to Laugh Out Loud over.
    My favorite go-to is Jeanne Robertson. She is a very funny lady!
    Also love fall for time in front of the fireplace, walks outside, and laying on the floor in the dark listening to jazz or blues music w/a good glass of red wine!

  9. Rosemarie
    October 9, 2020 / 10:57 am

    I like quietness. At times if I’m walking in a noisy area or taking bus/skytrain I will wear ear plugs – they really make a subtle difference.

    I am one of the few people who does not have a cell phone. People say why? Well, when I’m out I don’t want to be bothered by calls etc. Want to focus on my walks – friends etc. = enjoy the time. I too don’t do Facebook etc. People say why? Because I can see that could lead to an hour or 2 checking things out. I limit blog reading to just a few accounts.

    Relaxing times – hot showers – pampering feet with a nice soak/lotion. Candles in the evening. A daily walk or 2 rain or shine. Fireplace on during the winter season. Sitting and viewing the magnolia trees outside our living room window as they change thru the seasons.

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 5:43 pm

      Those sound perfect Rosemarie

  10. Francesca B.
    October 9, 2020 / 9:26 am

    Love this post, thank you Jennifer for remindng me to take care of myself. I listen to more music now than ever before: classical pieces that take me out of myself or favorite jazz recordings late at night. when the tension of our days gets too much. My daugter is living with us full time now and she struggles with that and feels a bit of a failure about hoe “stuck” she is -we all are-so we have mad dance sessions to cheer everyone up. Music is so therapeutic. Love books on tape too.
    My 87 year old mum who has been mostly in isolation since March (Lives in another country in England, close family very high risk with asthma) has taken up painting again and she now have christmas presents she is making of everyone’s requests-mine are roses from her garden. And she is enjoying that .

    • Francesca B.
      October 9, 2020 / 9:59 am

      Just have to add these are little pictures she is doing 4×6, 5×7, small fun projects that speak to her!

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 5:41 pm

      I love the idea of dance therapy!! It must be so hard not to see your mum all this time, Francesca

  11. Mumbai
    October 9, 2020 / 8:25 am

    Pampering, enjoy yourself, invigorate…we need it much more than ever…your so right, therefore I am off
    for my monthly facial to the cosmetic salon

  12. Diane B
    October 9, 2020 / 7:30 am

    I am still learning that No is a complete sentence. I always feel I have to qualify and sometimes it is just no. At the start of lockdown 7 months ago I orderd quite a few lotions and potions and picked up a few more on pharmacy runs, so I am going to get back to the pedicures and body lotions as the indoor time increases. For me an epsom salt soak is a must in order to get a good sleep, and I just discovered that a few spritzes of a fav. perfume in the water before I step in is perfect for another sent-ual experience. I do however read while in there and find this helps with the relaxation. This is strange to some people, but when one of us is not feeling well, we have two bedrooms so as not to bother either one of us and it works perfectly for a good sleep. Whatever works. A friend just started this and loves the idea. do take care of yourself Jennifer and take your own advice.

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 5:35 pm

      I think that’s a wonderful idea! No reason not to do all we can to get a good nights sleep

  13. Rose
    October 9, 2020 / 7:08 am

    So great to give yourself permission for me time without guilt. When Covid started my husband and I started walking everyday and its really made a huge difference. We are eating healthier and listening to more relaxing music. Classical and smooth jazz. Love all the ideas 💟

  14. Susan B
    October 9, 2020 / 7:06 am

    Hi Jennifer,

    This question is unrelated to today’s topic but wondered if you are still taking Menopause 731 and if it has helped?

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 5:33 pm

      I stopped taking it, along with everything else when I had my health scare earlier this year and just added very few things back.

  15. Ann
    October 9, 2020 / 6:33 am

    Love to read in the tub with lavender salts, a big glass of ice water with lemon, and New Age relaxing music in the background. I have a tub tray and in our new space the tray did not sit well on the inside of the tub…I got those Command Hooks for bathroom – they are clear, disappear, and hold my tray. I love it…BLISS!

  16. Kathleen Ayers
    October 9, 2020 / 6:09 am

    I’m enjoying using bath bombs when I make the opportunity to use them. I also have a “spa” tub, with the jets, which feel good on my aging, aching joints. This weekend, I’m using up all my “me” time for my virtual college reunion, and looking forward to reconnecting with friends at our online class party tomorrow!

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 6:44 am

      That sounds amazing! Have a blast

  17. Sharie
    October 9, 2020 / 6:06 am

    Love it love it love it!
    Just what we needed!

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 6:43 am

      I’m so glad. I needed it too:)

  18. Jan
    October 9, 2020 / 6:03 am

    Thanks to covid19, I’ve had an abundance of “me” time available! Through the summer and fall months there has been a nice variety of activities to keep me busy and energized to meet each day with a positive attitude but…. now winter is knocking on the door. Here comes the challenge! We aren’t spending the time with our family or friends that we would love to do. No travel plans, no eating out and just essential shopping trips are the norm today. We used to think we had all this time to do the things we love but sadly we really don’t!!
    I have never been one to obsess over my personal lifestyle but maybe more than ever this could be more important than ever and one of the few things we can control!
    Timely post today Jennifer!

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 6:42 am

      You’re right! The cold months will change so many things and self care will be more important than ever for us.

  19. Jo
    October 9, 2020 / 4:36 am

    I recently read that Gloria Steinem has such difficulty refusing requests she has a sign on her wall reminding her, “No is a complete sentence.” Love it!

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 6:40 am

      I may need to make myself a sign!

  20. Paulette Levy
    October 9, 2020 / 3:12 am

    Yes to a warm lavender (my go to) bath. Empty my mind of all but pleasant thoughts or no thoughts, followed by nourishing all over lotion. Music of a certain genre does help, but no loud anything allowed.
    I walk daily no matter the weather as being in nature even a city park does help me relax. Love being outside!

    • Jennifer
      October 9, 2020 / 6:26 am

      You’ve got it down perfectly Paulette! ❤️

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