How to Decide Where to Retire
My husband retired a couple years ago and we’veĀ been on the hunt for where to live ever since. We bought a trailer to see the sights but mostly to visit towns and see what we liked. To be honest, we have spent more travel time vacationing in our trailer, but we do consider every town for it’s potential.
As background, 
Here are a few important things we’re keeping in mind as we look for the “perfect” place to retire if such a place exists.
Proximity to good medical care
The older we get, the more likely we will require medical care so it needs to be top notch and easily accessible. Living in a remote place with a podunk clinic that may necessitate being medevaced out for emergencies, is not our idea of smart.
Accessibility to big box stores
We buy many of our staples at Costco, Target and other big box stores. It saves money and makes life easy. Living too far from those stores means we will pay more for what we need and settle for less than what we want.
Crime rate
The older we get the more vulnerable we become so the crime rate is important. I don’t want to feel unsafe heading for my car in the evening when leaving a grocery store.
Climate
The older we get the less tolerant we are of weather fluctuations. Extreme heat, high humidity, freezing rain and constant clouds are not our idea of fun. A temperate climate without massive swings in temperature is high on our list. That said, we do love the change of seasons.
Cost of living
Living on a fixed income that isn’t adjusted for increases in the cost of living mean we want to live where our dollar goes furthest. Traveling in our trailer we have seen gasoline swings as much as $2.00 a gallon!
Cultural and recreational resources
Our idea of retirement is not sitting on theĀ couch watching endless hours of television so we want to live in a place with options for both entertainment and physical activity.
Proximity to family and loved ones
The older we get the more precious our time spent with loved ones becomes. Our daughter lives in Canada and our son lives in the Sacramento area.Ā It would be so much simpler if they lived closer together.
We’ve visited quite a few small towns in the last 2 weeks and ruled most out because they didn’t meet enough of our criteria. It’s hard to say with certainty which of these is most important so we judge each location individually.
What do you think most important when deciding where to live in retirement?
Thanks for reading ladies and have a great day!
Oh my, I’m so glad to see you all write about this subject. My husband and I, and most of our friends discuss this frequently. The main floor bedroom is about all anyone can agree on! My children all live in Philadelphia which is 3 hours away, so I’m looking in that area but who knows!
Good luck with your hunt, it’s a tough one. If my children lived closer together I would be living by them.
Being in our early 70s, close, great medical care is most important for my husband and I, who are both retired. When one ages and might need specialized medical treatment, you don’t want to have to be driving long distances for those treatments, nor to visit your loved one if they end up in the hospital.
Also, a suggestion for those traveling to check out potential retirement towns, visit during all seasons, and stay awhile. What looks perfect at one time of year, may be a real deal breaker at another. We’ve had friends do some long term rentals in places they were considering so they could get a taste of what to expect during all times of the year. Good luck with your search, Jennifer!
I agree that moving to be near family is risky and we did just that only to have the family move away! Our list also included close proximity to a golf course for my husband. We traversed Canada twice over our working careers and when we retired, after the ‘close to family’ failed, we resolved that ‘west was best’ and settled in Kelowna, BC in a friendly and active golf course community (adult focused but not restrictive). I share your challenges but moving frequently and looking at each move as a new adventure helped facilitate becoming established. Winters do have cloud cover which we break up with a trip away. I now get to drive home amongst the orchards and vineyards compared to driving on busy (unattractive) highways. That said, this summer has been frustrating with the smoky skies but then again, weather is changing everywhere; we just returned from a wonderful holiday in central Europe with extreme high temps and low water levels on the Danube. Good luck in finding somewhere ‘perfect for YOU’.
Safe, reliable, and varied forms of public transportation….and a reason to use them! When my mother felt she should stop driving, her mental and physical health took a steep decline. Her independence had been such a driver of her vitality. She had relatives to ask for help, but it just wasn’t the same for her. That being said, living in a place that offers real personal growth and stimulation is important. I guess I am talking about an urban setting, with easy access to parks and outdoor recreation. A central travel hub too. Hey…I live in a place just like that…..Washington DC. Surprised?
Great point about the transportation!
Moving to be near family can be risky as grown children often have to move to be where the jobs are. Life is unpredictable. My husband wanted to retire to a rural area and so we did only to have him die within a short time. I was stuck as I could not sell our house. However, almost ten years later I am happy here and like the country. You just do the best you can and things have a way of working out.
Thanks for sharing with us Jill. Itās a challenge many women donāt anticipate but will have to deal with. Iām so glad youāre doing well. We do have to do the best with the hand we are dealt.
Hallmark Village. The one with the big waterfall at the end of the village. If we can find it, letās be neighborsā¤ļø
Lol! Sounds great
Hi Jennifer,
This is a topic that is on all of our minds. I agree with everything you mentioned on your list and I am sure each one of us would place certain ones as more of a priority than others. I personally cannot handle the heat so it would be important to me to live in a milder temperature. One comment I would make is that moving close to family isn’t always a long term living solution. In fact I don’t have one friend that wants to move next to their kids at this point in their lives. I saw a few of my parent’s friends do this and here is what happened. One couple moved to Portland to be next to kids/grandkids and then a few years down the road the daughter’s husband got a job transfer and the family moved out of state. Another couple moved close to family and said they were miserable because 15 years later the grandkids were grown up and had all moved out of the area. Also, my mother-in-law moved to a retirement community in Seal Beach 17 years ago to be next to her daughter and now her daughter just retired and moved to St. John, UT. Now at 87 years old my mother-in-law is having to move again to follow her. I think the most important thing is to do what is best for you both. A lot of us are in our 60’s and twenty years from now kids may not be in the same town, some may get married and move on, there might be job changes, etc… I think you are so smart to think this all out and study all your options.
Thanks for sharing this Annette! Following our children is not always fool proof. Few people stay put long term so we need to decide what location makes us happiest.
We retired a couple of years ago, and created a similar list to yours, but it also needed to include dark skies for my husband’s astronomy hobby. We chose Auburn Lake Trails in Cool, CA. Not so far from you, based on your local travels to places like Nevada City. It is not as fancy as the community you are living in , but it has a variety of property sizes and storeys. Pool, golf, horses, trails, mixed age community- very friendly and inclusive. 20-ish minutes to medical and Costco in Roseville, 6 miles to Auburn for Target, Michaels, Home Depot. Reasonable home prices, especially compared to LA or Bay Area!
We couldn’t be happier to be here – closer to grandchildren in the Bay Area – we were previously in Los Angeles. In fact, I am off to the water exercise class!
It sounds wonderful Anne! Thatās a gorgeous area. Being in shooting distance to all these things makes things much easier
Good morning, I understand your dilemma, and it is a process to find the right fit for living in retirement. I have lived in my house for 50 years. I think I have shared this with you before. My husband and I lived in Santa Clara from 1950 until 1964. We could see the handwriting on the wall, and today I am happy we made a move, but I was homesick for 30 years. Until Macy’s came to Redding, Ca. Funny how one thing can take away the pain of leaving my family and friends forever. We live in the heat from late June until early September. But the heat is dry and not much humidity. Redding was a beautiful place until last month when we had the Carr fire. Our beautiful lakes are chard with black dirt. But now to the best part of my story. We have housing, Costco, MACY’S and dignity health care providers for Medicare, and we are close to Ashland and the Oregon coast. We have friends who take their RV and park it at Trinidad for the two hot months in the summer. The best of both worlds. Shasta, Trinity, Modoc, and Lassen counties offer many activities, and the Sacramento airport is two hours away. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. The perfect place is waiting for you and your husband.
Joyously,
Betty
The fire was beastly!! You make excellent points. Compromise is part of everything in life. Housing is no different. Youāre a trooper Betty
This is list a good start especially if your thinking of moving to an unfamiliar area. Access to family and health care were my top factors when choosing our home several years ago. I love being close to my grands and living in a semi rural area. My peaceful setting does come with some trade offs but I love the peace and quiet. I wish luck with your search.
Peace and quiet is why we sold our home in May. The traffic had become hectic and the noise level stressful. I know there will be trade offs to every location.
We have lived in the same small town on the Canadian prairie for over 40 years. Since retirement, we too have been considering whether or not to stay here or move elsewhere. Like you, we’ve spent some time in our trailer this summer exploring other possibilities. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer five years ago and we feel the need to remain within reasonably close proximity to the cancer centre where treatment is available. That limits our search area significantly because my cancer is rare and treatment is only available in one place in western Canada! We presently live approximately two hours away. Other considerations for us include the availability of senior care, which is very limited in our present location, and proximity to a good, affordable golf course which we presently have at the end of our street! Decisions, decisions… not easy to make!
Iām sorry youāre desking with that Elaine! Everyoneās situation is unique and we need to do whatās best for us.
I’d like to add there are real benefits to living in a University town. Much more diverse, educational opportunities for seniors. etc. I live in a temperate area (KY) so enjoy the seasons-fall is stunning here, and winter not that long. To me friends are a vital part of growing older too–the kids are mobile and can move around. I’d never move to be close to my kid, as then she would get another job and move on. The unhappiest most discontent people I know did that…
With a one story house and a good community, I’d be happy. There is always the possibility to move one more time to senior assisted living or personal care that they have here. Assisted living is quite independent, personal care is where meds can be administered, and then nursing home if we get beyond that. At that point I probably wouldn’t care much anyway. Sounds cynical but I put in 10 years caring for my Mom and now we are both caring for his Dad, who had to move here from FL.
Thatās not fun Susan. My parents both died very young but needed help in the end. A university town has great benefits. My parents both lived in assisted living before my dad needed nursing care. My mom fought it all. My dad accepted it gracefully. Hang in there
I live where there are mountains of snow to shovel in the winter. It’s still too early to tell where our only child will land. He is about to start university in the fall. If we stay here, which is where all my family lives, I think we’ll relocate to a place where snow is taken care of — a condo. My husband can work remotely for his job. We think it might be best to relocate before retirement. So much to think about, and so much still uo in the air. It’s too early to decide.
At the moment, my parents ard frail and elderly. Someone asked about moving in with a mother with dementia. I would not do that. Before long, they need 24-hour care, and caregivers must be hired. I would sell her house, and use that to pay for her care in a dementia care facility. Many people don’t realize how difficult dementia caring is, and that hired caregivers often do not show up for work, or that you can never go on a holiday. It can also be very hard on the caregiver’s health, marriage, family life and friendships. It sounds very noble until you live the 24-hour grind. Don’t think siblings will lend a hand, either. Care home exist because they are needed.
Thank you so much for sharing that! Dementia care is serious business and quickly requires a professional facility. There is so much to consider about where to retire.
I moved from a one story house in a mild climate, to a one story house in a retirement community in a hotter climate in Sacramento California. The two things that are missing is walk ability to shops/ stores/ parks, and mild climate. I find living where people get sick and pass away at a greater rate than a normal community concerning, the topic of who ācanā drive is common. So living closer to a more mixed age community, I would consider an advantage. Iām still working, and enjoy being around all ages, I may not retire, as I work for myself. Things to consider.
I hear you Eileen!
Forgot to add – friends too are close by.
My list included:
No big city -too much noise, too much traffic, too much stress ( I want to be able to drive well into my old age)
Low crime rate (high on list)
Close to hospital (āļø)
Close to ocean (itās my zen place) ( love to boat)
Lots to do (āļø)
Enough shopping to suffice (big box stores such as Home Depot, Costco, etc)
Weather ( no or very little snow, no high humidity, etc.)
We found everything we wanted in our community by the Sea. I do miss some of the bigger clothing stores but then I would only buy more stuff that I donāt need since Iām not working. The rain in the winter sometimes gets boring but itās still better than snow. The trade off is we donāt have the hot, humid summers and the mosquitoes coming out in the evening to drive you back indoors. My kids live nowhere close but thatās ok. We visit them and they love to come out for a visit to our laid back, beach community in the summer and/or to escape the snow at Christmas. Weāve travelled and lived around the world and know other lifestyles but this community meets all our needs. We couldnāt be happier with our home, neighbourhood and community. I hope you find yours soon!
Where are you?Joanna?
On Vancouver Island. You?
Great list Joanna! Youāre so lucky to be settled where youāre happiest.
As a Canadian I’ve enjoyed reading all the choices/decisions re where to live when one retires.
I live in a major city on the west coast and nearing 70 – still working a few days a month and currently will be staying put. We live in a house. We have a change of seasons here – good weather – access to excellent medical care – which unfortunately is needed right now re my husband – 5 min drive to downtown. Enough big box stores – that I don’t go to – within a 5 min drive. Community centres close by – either can walk/drive. Can walk fortunately or drive to some small shopping areas. The bus is 1 block away. Relatives are either a 20 min drive away or a short plane ride. US relatives are scattered throughout the states. I visit the ones in Washington. Either drive or take bus/Amtrak. Mexico/Hawaii are short enough flights if one wants a change in the winter. When housing prices skyrocketed here we did think of perhaps selling and moving to the Island – cheaper homes – but what would have been the real benefit of moving. Yes we would have extra $ for sure but what else.
You sound very happy with your choice Rose. You live in a gorgeous spot. We loved the pace of life on Vancouver Island but had a very unfortunate experience with the medical care which nearly cost my husband his life. We do have a great fondness for the PNW so are keeping our options open.
I found this topic of real interest as I read of couples retiring. Jenifer your list is a great start; however, being a few decades older and alone; I’d like to add a few things to your list:
a. being able to keep an independent lifestyle
b. being close to a major airport (trips to Canada via air instead of driving)
c. becoming part of the community (i.e., making friends, volunteering, etc….hugely important as one gets older.)
d. staying very near children & grandchildren; the quickly passing years make proximity essential; especially when you need each other.
Thank you for expanding the topics from fashion & styles to life’s larger issues; it’s a great forum & quite helpful.
Those are excellent points Marlene. Thanks for sharing them. The fact is many women out live their husbands and need to think about that. If I were single I think Iād feel quite differently about where Iād want to be.
We live in Bowling Green, Ky. It’s a university town about 50 miles north of Nashville. My husband took a job here in 1980, when we were living in Louisville, to join and help open the Corvette plant. We have raised two kids and have loved it. We have theaters, restaurants, rivers, lakes and creeks. Great medical care and if we need more specialized care we can travel to Nashville in less than an hour. We have big box stores, little boutiques, and caves, too. We have four seasons which fall and spring are our favorites. Western University has a beautiful campus and lots of amenities for the public and is very active in the school systems and community. We have a son and grandkids here and a daughter in Nashville. If our son were to move, we would still stay here. I’ve heard of so many people moving to be near their children and then the children up and move through a transfer or whatever. We have many friendships and are active in church. We love it here!
Iāve heard the same stories about people who move to be near their children who then leave. It reminds me that each day needs to be taken as it comes.
Hi Jennifer! My husband retired several years ago and while he waited for me to finish working started researching where we would retire. My two children are in California; one in LA & daughter with 4 children in San Diego. While we had the same list as yours, we often remembered the wise words of a dear Aunt, āNothing is perfectā. With that in mind, we sold almost everything in NY and moved to a golf/tennis resort community in Palm Desert, California. Cost of living is a bit less than NY; close to great shopping; very walkable; excellent medical care. One negative is the hot summers. We are close to the grandkids & have escaped the weather traveling to San Diego every other week; a good respite & we get to help our daughter out. Going forward we plan on traveling during the hot months. When I retired from 25 years as a librarian in NY one of my gifts from my wonderful colleagues was a plaque saying āHome is where youāre needed mostā. With 4 children under the age of 7 and a Navy Seal husband , our daughter really needed us. We think of it as our contribution to the country! If and when they move (which could be in 3 years) weāll reset our compass & take it from there. With this move I unloaded so much āstuffā which was great; I let it go, as they say, and Iām ready for the next chapter,
Thatās a great attitude Linda! I hate feeling weighed down by possessions. Sadly my husband does not feel the same. Iād be doing exactly what youāre doing if my daughter needed me!ā