Several readers have commented on my hair and asked about my haircut so I’ve decided to tell its story. I know that sounds lame but our hair does have a story – here’s mine.
I’ve never considered my hair to be my crowning glory. It’s baby fine, poker straight and has been thinning in recent years.
I’ve been trying to increase its body for as long as I can remember. My Mom even tried. I was that little girl sitting at the kitchen table with a towel over her face, gagging on toxic fumes as I got a Toni perm. Remember those? They took forever and the results weren’t cute. Think poodle.
I moved on to body waves but they weren’t better. They added body but were tough on my hair and caused a lot of breakage.
Bobs are classic and make fine hair feel thicker. I wore variations of a bob for 40 years but needed a change. Short layered cuts can be styled to look poufy which I tried. I wore an uber short haircut in my 30’s and discovered that my wide square face and broad shoulders are more flattered by longer hair.
Volumizer / Doo-Over Dry Powder Spray / Finishing Spray / Body Builder Mousse
I’ve now found great products that add body to my hair ( here’s how I use them) but the best thing by far is the right haircut.
I wear a disconnected haircut. It combines two styles, that are disconnected halfway down my head. The side and top are layered shorter, the bottom and back is a bob. I sweep the sides behind my ears because I have a square face and this helps slim its look.
My old stylist gave me this haircut which is perfect for my hair. It looks thicker, has more body, is easy to style and keeps its shape all day. I’ve happily worn this cut for the last 4 years.
Fast forward – we’ve moved and I have a new stylist. I’ve shown her my pictures and videos several times (bloggers have tons of photo’s) but she just isn’t getting it. She’s tried 3 times and each is flatter than before. The last time she cut it the stylist next to us chuckled and murmured “like a mullet”.
Um, no. Not like a mullet…visions of Michael Bolton flashed through my head and I knew I was in the wrong salon.
Knowing what haircut I want doesn’t mean this new stylist is capable of giving it to me so I’ve moved on. As you read this I’m in the car driving two hours each way to go back to my old stylist. Hair is important and with thin hair, the cut is critical.
Have you found the perfect haircut for your hair? Does it flatter your face and body shape?
Thanks for reading and have a great day!
Enjoyed reading your blog. Four hours is a long trip, Jenniffer but I understand the need to get it right. Whenever I’ve moved to somewhere new I would look at women’s hair and when I would notice an exceptional cut I’d politely ask where she had it cut and with which stylist. Many times I’d get the same hair salon, Google them and give it a try. It’s basically the adage “seeing is believing.”
Looking for a style that will look good with straight and thin hair with no body and naturally letting it dry?
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If you’re not wanting to work with styling tools as it dries you’ll have an almost impossible time getting any lift, in my experience.
I think even without tools you can get lift using the right products and you fingers. Dry shampoo, a little mouse,a good manipulator(bed head). and a total body cream. Using a small amount of listed products and finally the cream as hair is drying put on each product, while bending head in seated position. Finger; scrunch finger, scrunch use fingers as comb. A light comb. Bam you will have what looks like double the hair and using dry shampoo as a texturizing product. The manipulator and ur manipulation with fingers. Is key.
With this Covid thing it is hard to get to a stylist, and finding a new one would be difficult for sure. I have not been out of my yard since Feb. 3 and am still petrified to go anywhere. But I have to fix these Gray roots – I can hardly look at myself in the mirror. I thought maybe now is the time to just go natural, but I don’t have that white hair that looks great on a lot of people, it’s sort of salt & pepper so I will try to work up the courage to colour it myself! And as someone already pointed out, hot rollers are great! It’s so true – when your hair is bad, you feel bad too.
I thought the same thing, but once I let my hair grow out and go completely natural, I was pleasantly surprised. The salt and pepper looks a lot like I have highlights in my hair. My gray is not quite as silver as I would like, but I can live with it. I found that if I tried to do it myself, the red in my hair turned carrot orange and when the sun got to it, it looked like a copper penny. It’s a great look for pennies, but not so much for hair. I also noticed that my hair kept getting thinner. However, I do like the cut you described. I have been going to the same stylist for 40 years. Maybe she can try it with mine. Good luck, whichever way you decide to go.
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I am in the market for some hot rollers right now
Have you tried low-lights with the color of your darkest hair color? It definitely makes it look like highlighted hair and you don’t have the color marks at the roots when it is growing out. Try it, think you will be pleasantly surprised.
I’m trying neora prolux serums to restore hair to original color. It fixes texture and no more having to color. Most of my thinning and the few grays I had are improving. Using the whole system. I’ll see in 3 months even more results hopefully.
I, too have fine hair but always had a lot of it until the past 2 years. I dread every time I wash it because I have to contend with how much is falling out. I can run my fingers through my hair and at least 10 to 15 hair strands will come out. I think this style would help conceal the thinning hair. I also endured the Toni perms. They were awful.
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Have you tried Rogaine? It really helps me.
Bosley shampoo (+other Bosley products if you need them) have helped my thinning hair. I use it about 3x wk. but shampoo is all I use. I find that the other products I’ve tried make my hair oily like in my teens!! 🙂 Good luck!
My doctor recommended Rogaine for me and said that I could use the men’s product. I haven’t done it yet, the price kind of put me off when I wasn’t even sure it would work. When I read your post about your hair, I thought to myself, finally someone with hair exactly like mine!! I love your style but I live and work on a ranch and it’s more convenient to wear it a little longer so I can put it up most of the time. My son’s getting married in September (fingers crossed that we won’t still be sheltering in place), and I’m wondering what I can do with my hair so that I can look “together” for the entire afternoon and evening.
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You could still wear it up for the wedding. I think that can be a very elegant look. Sometimes, simple is best.
I work in dermatology. Definitely use minoxidil (the generic rogaine). Generic will save you $ and is same as brand. Make sure it is 5%, which is usually the men’s line. Anything less will not work. Don’t bother with a treatment shampoo because it doesn’t sit on scalp any length of time to be effective. What ever you use needs to be a leave in treatment on the scalp not hair! Once you start using it don’t be afraid if you think more hair than usual is falling out. Minoxidil will synchronize hair growth. Those extra hairs were on their way out anyway. Once you stop using minoxidil you will return to the original pattern of hair loss. Hope this helps!
CVS and Walmart have their own brands of Rogaine that are very cost effective and, for me, work as well as the name brand. I have all kinds of new baby hairs growing around my hairline
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I’m so happy to hear it’s working for you too!
Try finding a web site or even reach out to Rogaine and ask for coupons and samples
We moved from Illinois to Oregon. I have tried a few stylists here and have yet to find one who can come close to what I want. I gave up for awhile with one stylist and let her do her thing. My stylist in Illinois was great with fine, straight, flat hair. It always looked great. Finding a new stylist after thirty years with one was one of my biggest fears of moving. After the ‘stay at home’ ends I think I will have to begin searching again. 🙁
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Good luck Jan, the struggle is real!
I have fine hair also and this cut sounds like just what I need. I don’t always have time to style my hair and just let it dry naturally. Can I do this with this type of cut?
Thanks
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This would be very flat if I didn’t blow dry it.
Lol…Im reading your article, and I swear its been the exact same steps for me, starting with the Toni perm. Tucking hair behind my ears, a side part, a little teasing in the front….In discussing my last haircut with my hairdresser, just before vacation in early March, we agreed on the double layers in the back also. She said, like a Mullet, so I guess its a new version for the 2020s. My hair has been coming out for the Last 7 months ( stress) and getting thin so Im probably going to do a major cut when the salons open. Too bad, this cut has been great and I think I will miss it.
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My layers have grown out while home so I need some serious help too! Good luck
I had the same stylist for 4 years and and always got a great cut. Until one day he gave me a terrible cut so I never went back. I have heard this has happened to other customers too, good cuts for a few years, then one day a hack job!
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It’s happened to me often so I think it’s common. I guess everyone has an off day:)
Hi Jenn,
How do I “fire” my stylist? She has me hooked three months in advanced! Yikes!
Call and cancel – say you’ll call and reschedule when you have your appt book handy. gotta go, bye!
I also drove 85 miles to a stylist until I got tired of it and forced myself to find someone closer. I get a good cut now but I have to come home and restyle it myself!
I’m sure that will happen for me but for now, I am playing it safe
Oh my gosh
I go home and restyle after a cut as well. I do get a good cut but it is never styled the way I like and the way I feel comfortable in. I have dreams of a makeover but will I have to go home and restyle?
So true! I always restyle my hair too.
YOu’re right. You can show stylists photos up the kazoo and it’s till i,possible for them to get it right. It’s like me trying to paint like Money. Not gonna happen. I think it’s worth the drive to go back to the stylist who cut it the way you liked it. Make a lovely day of it.
So true. They seem to have an agenda all their own.
When I would go to my hair dresser I too would try to fix it different. Since she could not style it the way I liked, she would give me everything I needed while I did my hair myself.
I met many, many lovely hairstylists when we moved to the Pacific Northwest nine years ago. Not one of them was able to cut my hair, so now I travel to the Sassoon Salon in Seattle to get my haircut. Happy, happy happy.
That sounds like a great plan!!
I drive 50 miles each way to my stylist in Eugene, Oregon and have for 15 years. She knows me and my hair. I’d rather find a new gynaecologist than a new stylist.
She once mentioned to me she has a client who flys in from Alaska every 10 weeks!
She sounds pretty amazing. I feel in good company traveling to see my stylist. It’s a long day on the road but so worth it.
A stylist who listens and can style fine hair is worth the trip! I’ve had baby fine straight hair my whole life and now that it’s gray its fine with a wave. Go figure, I wore my hair in a layered bob but I tried a short pixie and love it. It’s neat, tidy and little bit sassy in our humid climate here in Georgia. Our hair like makeup and attire are important to our confidence and joy.
You’re so right Cathy. Our hair can make or break our confidence.
I am moving to a new state and scared to try and find someone who can cut my fine, thin hair into a easy Bob.
It can ruin your confidence. My stylist I had done a great job this past year but all of sudden she cut all my hair off. Even my bangs. I’m devastated. My fine hair does not grow fast at all. It took me 9 months to get the style and length I had. I’m just sick about it!!!
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That’s awful, I’m sorry. Time to embrace hats, brighter lipstick and find a new stylist. It’s so distressing when that happens.
Yes mine to I am now got it long enough to do the bob style I want I am giving her 1 more chance I hope she learn form if .
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Fingers crossed
Obviously, you struck a chord with many of us. I’ve followed my stylist everywhere & thus now take a ferryboat to Whidbey Island! It is worth it: the extra time you save not fighting your hair everyday! Less stress for you everyday! I had been keeping my straight hair short & layered for years, but 1 1/2 yrs ago I let it grow out & was shocked to find it was now CURLY. The ONLY pleasant surprise of getting older! Was so surprised to discover that the shape of your follicles can change with age. I love your hair & think you need to show your cut to more local stylists – meanwhile keep commuting!
Lucky you, curly! That would be such a fun discovery after a lifetime of poker straight hair. You do live in a gorgeous part of the country. I love taking those ferries.
Hi there
I can really relate to this blog. I had those perms – ugh. Then when I was living in Toronto in my 20s I went to a salon and wanted a ‘light’ perm – oh my goodness I ended up with what was referred to as an afro. After the initial shock I went back to the salon to try to get it fixed. The stylist couldn’t understand that I wasn’t happy – so I said to her – would you go out on the street looking like this. NO.
Even now I’m still trying to get some consistency with my hair style. It had been turning to hit and miss the past year at the same salon. My stylist went on maternity leave. I tried other stylists there – inconsistent. Recently I tried a new salon. Hopefully it will work out there
Your regular stylist does a fantastic job – worth the drive or as one reader said go directly after getting it done to the new stylist and say this is what I want done.
I had a body wave like that one time which was horrific. They decided to chemically straighten it and most of it fell out. That was not a good year.
Yes, I have medium length blond curly hair which I love for the most part and is what I am known for. It is low maintenance and doesn’t take long to style with a diffuser. I do have quite a collection of hair products though. Always in search of the perfect product or cocktail of products. My hair seems to reject it if I use the same product cocktail two days in a row. Looks great day 1…different story day 2. Hence, my collection of products. I have a stylist who I have been going to for more than 10 years who has curly hair too and she is fast. Highlights, haircut and style in 1.5 hours to 2 hours max. Life is good in the tresses department.
You are so lucky! My old stylist has hair just like me which I think makes a big difference. She knows what it will and won’t do.
Your hair always looks pretty to me. Even though you have mentioned hair thinning, I never thought that when I see your hairstyles.
Ten months ago I went to a new to me hair stylist. I showed her a photograph of myself with a past haircut/style that I really liked. It was a long bob with bangs. I pointed out to her that in the photo it was “very slightly stacked in the back” (those were the exact words I said) and I would like it to be that way again.
She seemed nice enough, but I don’t know what in the world she was thinking. When my haircut was finished and I was handed the mirror to see the back of it. I was speechless. It looked terrifying. The length of the top “stacking” was only about two inches long, and it was a thick layer in my thin hair, right on the back of head.It got worse from there. It was absolutely nothing like the photograph I showed her. It looked like she thought I said for her to stack it to look like I’m on crack. Oh, it was horrible, for months, and months, and months. I think my knee replacement surgery and recovery slowed the regrowth of my hair, though I also think there may be a Murphy’s-type law somewhere that says when you get a really, really bad haircut your hair will grow more slowly than it ever did before. It finally grew out enough to have it cut just a couple of weeks ago. I told the new hairdresser (at a different salon) to just give me a plain, one length, almost to the shoulder cut. There is still a bit of difference in the length in the back from the previous hack job, but this hair stylist did an excellent job of making it look good. I am so thankful to have my hair looking normal again.
I don’t understand why it seems like some stylists just refuse to try and do the cut we show them from a photograph of our hair in a style that we liked. Maybe they are just trying to be creative. If they are, I would appreciate them saving their creativity for their own hair.
Ouch! That’s so upsetting. I think many stylists just have no talent. They get minimal training and have at it. I also think they don’t listen and that’s a lack of respect in my opinion. I’m glad it’s looking better now for you. Bad hair really hits our confidence hard.
Love your hairstyle, Jennifer! Merry Christmas!
Thanks Cheryl Ann, I can’t wait until it’s back
My mother and I were looking at some of my childhood pictures when I asked her why my bangs were soooo short. She said she had given me a Tonette perm and burned my hair off! “Tonette, with the younger woman in mind”. If you look on YouTube, there are some cute commercials for Tonette perms! Luckily, my hair grew back but it’s still stick straight and baby fine.
Sorry to say, I’ve had that same disaster. My mom also used to cut my hair and the bangs were always crooked and miles too short. Luckily it grows but some of my pictures are hilarious.
we have very similar hair and by your description exactly the same cut. I have moved quite a bit and the. Last time my stylist offered to be on call for the new stylist. It worked! I would drive to get a good cut but that last move was 4 hours each way and I couldn’t do that!
Four hours would be pushing it for me too, Catherine.
You don’t feel good if your hair doesn’t look good. I moved 12 hours away from my stylist so I had to get my new one trained right. It took me four years but I finally got her cutting my hair exactly like I like it. We live in a small town and I reall did not have many other options.
Your hair looks great and I would definitely drive two hour shift to keep it the way I wanted it.
I wish I’d been able to get through to this local gal, but honestly, she’s just not that talented. Good for you Debbie!
The blu capelet or shawl in the first photo is a fabulous color, who makes it please? Your hair always looks great in your photos but I hear your pain!
It’s several years old Deanne from a company in England called Catherine Robinson Cashmere. I’m not sure they still make this color but you could google them.
I can relate. I’ve been driving an hour each way for the last few years to get to my old stylist, in very heavy traffic. So I am going to try someone here locally. Yesterday was my last appointment with my stylist, she gave me the formula she uses for my hair color and when I got home I took a few selfies so I can show the new person how my hair looks right after I get it done. My hair is a simple below chin-length bob but I can’t do layering, it just makes my fine hair look thinner. I’m not good at blow-drying. I am probably one of the few people who still uses hot rollers, it gives my very straight hair the body it needs. Hair is so important, if its not right, nothings right.
Good luck Debbie. I hope your new stylist can copy what you have. Non-layered cuts are usually easier for them to get right.
I’m currently experiencing exactly what you’re talking about Jennifer! I think it’s a new trend in haircutting :/
My current cut looks like your first picture and resulted in all of the body being taken out of my hair. My hair is thin only in the front but now my entire head of hair feels thinner than ever after this cut. In the 4th picture down of you, your hair looks beautiful – very full in the back. Is this the front of your old hair or new haircut?
These are my old haircuts before we moved. With fine hair, every hair counts and I wish stylists would be more careful. I’m sorry you’re struggling with this Laurie. It sounds like you need a new stylist.
Hi Jennifer. Am I correct that you’re living in the Sacramento-ish area? If so, my aunt has a stylist in Woodland that she’s gone to for years that she swears by and she also has fine, thin hair that’s a little below chin length and always looks good. Let me know if you’d like the stylists contact info and I’ll get it from my aunt
Hi Valorie. I am going to stick with my gal for now but will keep your suggestion in mind and may ask for her name later. Thanks!
My hair is thick (not as thick as it used to be though – thanks menopause!) and curly, but very fine. It has to stay short because the weight of it will make it flat and I have to have some height on top! Thank goodness for hair products! BTW Jennifer – I always think your hair looks great!
Hair products to the rescue, Barbara!
I have a theory that stylists create styles the exact opposite of what they themselves have. Hence Christina, with her gorgeous curls, loves blow drying me sleek and straight. Everytime. Nothing like the pictures I show her. Nothing can be done about it. We’ve been friends since our children were born. -Lily
At least it’s just how she blows it out. You can fix that part at home;)
Well, at least I’m not the only one with stylist frustration!
The latest thing after years of going to the same stylist? She suddenly cut my hair about 1/4″ long at the crown. This led it to stick straight up for several months until it regrew. I have no idea why she did this, because I would have said no. Maybe the cut was taking too long?
Now that is sorted, so she cut my bangs crooked. Always something lately.
Sounds like it’s time for a new stylist!
Yes, Jennifer, I will never forget the smell of the Toni perms my mother gave me in attempts to give my fine hair some body! My hair and haircut is very similar to yours. For me, It’s worth the extra cost and 1+ hour drive out of my small town to go to a Gene Juarez salon where my young haircutter seems to know how to give me a cut that makes me feel good about being 62. You look amazing!!!
Thanks, Penny, I hope to get this shape back after some growing time. So glad you’ve found someone who can style it for you. It’s worth the drive!
Do you have the video you mentioned posted anywhere online? I used to wear a very similar haircut, but since I moved I can no longer find anyone who can replicate it, and unlike you, I was not smart enough to take pictures of a fresh cut. Driving to my former stylist is not an option :(.
I didn’t post the video anywhere, sorry. You could show them the photo of the back of my hair which might be a good visual…although it didn’t help me;(
Love the haircut. I have just the opposite hair. Mine is coarse, thick and straight. But thankful for a good hairdresser who gives me a great cut and recommends products. That all being said my hairdresser recently received her Real Estate License and I am always teasing her about making that big sale and no more cutting hair. She said she doesn’t think she can totally give it up though.
Oh, oh…they make a lot more with a real estate sale than cutting hair. For your sake, I hope she stays cutting at least part-time.
Having been extremely dissatisfied with my colorist near my home and my haircutter “retiring to be a new full-time Mom”….I was faced with a similar challenge. Living 75 miles from NYC I chose to try my daughter’s haircutter and salon and have been thrilled ever since. I make the drive every couple of months and try to stretch out in-between colorings/trims etc. But to me – it is definitely worth the time and effort to get there…even with NY traffic!!
NYC has some of the best stylists ever. You’re so lucky you live in proximity and have found a good one.
It’s fabulous. Typically, I suit long hair. I’m growing out my highlights, which is taking forever so I might shorted it at some point since, otherwise, uniform colour is about 5 years away!
Thanks, I hope I can get it back to some good shape. Several bad haircuts in a row have really messed it up. Growing out always feels torturous.
Oh, Jennifer! I can sure identify with your hair struggles over the years. My mother, a Shirley Temple lover, subjected me to the same awful Toni perms when I was in grade school. Believe me, my perms looked nothing like Shirley Temple’s hair and I still groan when I look at old photos of myself. Fast forward to now: I have been with the same stylist for over 15 years and have tried more hairstyles, colors and products than you can know. Most times I have been pleased, but I can never seem to replicate the way she styles my hair. I do like your current style and wore a similar style myself for several years. Now I wear my hair just about shoulder length with interior layers and a darker base color to boost texture and volume. Dry spray powder, dry shampoos and root boosters have been my best bets.
I’m a huge fan of dry spray too Kathy. I do need some deeper base in my hair but it will take time to get the color back in shape.
Your hair looks great! I have a similar cut and find it hard to describe. I don’t personally like my stylist very much and she is expensive but she gives a great cut. Of course I choose the great cut over great personality! Hair IS important.
I’d choose cut over personality every day!
You look beautiful. The haircut and style are perfect for you. We’re lucky when we can find the right style and stylist. Happy holidays.
Happy Holidays to you too Libby
I dont blame you, your hair looks great! What color lip stick do you have on in the pic? I love it.
I am wearing Lip Fixation in “Fascination”. It’s one of my very favorites. The link is here https://shopstyle.it/l/WTGm
Good, timely information, Jennifer. Thanks so much!
I too have very fine, straight hair. My haircut is very similar to yours.
I have this same problem!!! My Mom always told me that I couldn’t wear long hair (even chin length) because it was fine and limp. My hair has always been short and looked good. Then I lost nearly 100 pounds 5 years ago and discovered my face shape wasn’t round … and at 60 (earlier this year) I decided to grow it out. With volumizing products it works! I’m loving doing something new. And I found a new stylist who “gets” my hair!
Congratulations Lezlie, that’s wonderful! Our face shape makes a big difference for our hairstyle.
It’s all about the haircut–if you don’t have the right haircut, nothing works. It is so stressful to have to try to find a new hairdresser. I can understand the drive back to your old one. My husband learned a long time ago that if my hair is not right nothing is right. Good luck.
Lol. Your husband is a wise man Sarah.
I have a different problem with my hair. I have very thick hair. I keep it short because it has no body at all! And I hate hair spray and only use it when going out to dinner or the theatre. I only use styling products in the winter since I live in Florida and keeping a “style” here in the summer is next to impossible! My hair looks great in my house but once I step out the door, my hair just flops. Using Styling gel in the summer just makes my hair gummy. I did find a really great stylist when we moved here, but it took 6 months before she got my hair the way I like it. The style is short and layered. I get it trimmed every 5 weeks. I would like to keep it a little bit longer, but I cannot deal with the hot weather and longer hair. I think your hairstyle looks great on you! It is very becoming. and I love the color!
Humidity is tough on most hair textures. It would make mine look like a skull cap. I’m glad you found the perfect cut Linda That’s more than half the battle.
It’s really cute on you Jennifer…..I’m trying to let my hair grow out from being short for over 20 years. I just want a change as I age, my face is slender and my neck is long. I have a lot of body so therefore I can go a bit curly……which I love to finally show off my curls. I would drive a far distance if I had the right stylists who I loved and made me look beautiful!
A stylist that can do that is priceless Holly. It sounds like a nice pretty change for you.
I have had the best stylist for my thick unruly hair for about 2 years when she decided to move about 6 hours away to NOLA ! So I am lucky so far she comes back here once a month to check in at her salon here. Before her my hair was always am embarasing challenge!
That’s what my stylist is doing!! She left the state after I moved but comes back every 6 weeks so I’m driving to see her.
A good haircut is so worth the drive and yours looks very good.
I agree! I’d drive a long way to see here. After all it’s not every week
Here’s a thought: Immediately after having your old stylist do your hair, visit a local stylist and say, “This is what I want.” Let the stylist play with your hair, check out the layers, see how your hair falls. Then *maybe* you’ll get a decent cut. But maybe just stick with your original stylist. I love your hair style. It’s flattering and breezy.
That’s a great idea Susan but I’m so happy to have my old one back, I’m afraid to go elsewhere now. Maybe I can work my nerve up later
I agree that finding the right stylist makes all the difference!! I have very curly hair and I finally found a stylist who knows how to cut and style my hair in a way that is just right for me. She also knows how to straighten it for those times I don’t want to wear it curly. She is a gem!! And, I would drive hours to keep her!!
By the way, love your hair style!
You’re so lucky to have found her Beth! Thank you
I travel an hour to my old stylist. I tried 2 stylists when I moved and they didn’t get it! I would call your style a stacked Bob. I like it!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one traveling to see her stylist.
Hair cut, stylist is sooooo important. Most seem to want the clients hair SHORT. No. I too have a squarish full face, and short is wrong! I need a longish bob, with layering on top. I get compliments with longer hair(shaped) and when I do it myself…..why?
Probably because you know how it looks best and know how to style it. We have to listen to our instincts.