Will You Still Need Me When I’m 64? (On the Topic of Anti-Aging)

Today is my sixty-fourth birthday. How the hell did that happen so fast? Today has me thinking about aging, making the most of the time we have, and how much I deplore the phrase “anti-aging.” I want to talk about pro-aging and the beauty of aging.

Last week I was approached by a brand (who will remain nameless) via my Instagram page, to try out and share what may very well be a lovely beauty product. And the moment I saw it was called an “anti-aging” face cream, I stopped reading. It was a hard stop. The phrase “anti-aging” is so offensive to me on a deep level. Do you feel the same way?

I want to look the best I can for my age, but I don’t want to lie about my age. I don’t want to anti-age. I am not ANTI-aging – I am pro-aging. When did we become a culture so obsessed with youth?

I recall always wanting to be older as I was growing up. To be older was to be cooler, more sophisticated, more interesting.

I’ll never forget the year I forgot how old I was. ALL YEAR I told everyone I was 38. I thought I was 38 deep in my soul. But then my birthday rolled around and I realized I was turning 38 and had robbed myself of my 37th year. Ha! Of course, I had tweenagers at the time, which probably accounts for a fair amount.

Now I am certainly a fan of products that can help soften the signs of aging on my skin. I’ve used Botox. I use Retin-A. I feel no shame about that. But it’s not because I want to deny that I am aging, or that aging is a dirty word or something we should hesitate or shy away from.

mom at 64

My mom

What a blessing it is to age – whatever that looks like for you. My mother died when she was nine years older than I am today. And on her deathbed, she spoke about regret that she had for things she had not done. And she was adventurous! But her time was cut short. Last year my daughter climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in honor of my mom, one of the dreams she couldn’t fulfill and carried a photo of her to the summit.vanessa connolly on top of Mt Kilimanjaro

You often hear about people living in the moment. But that’s a hard thing to do. Not to mention this year, when we are all trapped at home (or in my case, currently in quarantine), and longing for life to get back to normal. And we can all feel our own version of disappointed, sad, and frustrated about the situation we find ourselves in with the pandemic, and the long list of other challenges happening in the world right now. But maybe this is indeed the best year for all of us to learn how to live in this moment. With the future so uncertain, we have to grab what we can and do what we love.

This is a great time to be a woman that is aging.

It is never too late to start over, to start a new health kick, a new lifestyle, a new relationship. We are only limited by our own fears, insecurities, and restrictions.

I started my own business in 2012. The year before, I could barely navigate my laptop! And these last eight years have taught me just how many opportunities are available to us – with the right amount of dedication and hard work.

Don’t allow anyone to dim your light, or limit your potential.

The truth is we are aging and it’s a great thing. We can be pro-aging and still do all we can to look our best. There is no expiration date on ambition, hope, and great style.



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  1. Meg
    August 25, 2020 / 1:15 pm

    Happy Belated Birthday! You look fabulous just as your Mom did in that lovely picture.

  2. Faith
    August 22, 2020 / 8:30 pm

    Great article; I couldn’t agree with you more! Enough with society’s obsession with youth. I’m 51, and I’m reinventing and loving life every day. I appreciate your great attitude and pro-aging focus. Keep up the good work! I love your articles and fashion advice, both are much appreciated.

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