The Importance Of What You Wear In Midlife And Why It Matters
Do clothes make the woman? Some would argue that what we wear is unimportant and our interest in discussing fashion is shallow. Attempting to trivialize the fashion struggles of women over 50 is not only uninformed but also naive because what we wear can make or break our confidence, which makes it worthy of discussion.
We have lots of new readers, so I’m republishing a post that many of you may not have read. I think it’s an important topic that needs to be discussed.
Clothes can be a shield we use to get through challenging times, but more importantly, they tell the world who we are. Whether we like it or not, we’re judged by our appearance, and the clothes we wear matter.
Look sloppy, and people may decide you’re careless and have little respect for details or yourself. Wear overly revealing clothes, and you may be seen as inappropriate or desperate. Wear flamboyant colors and you may be seen as carefree or loud. The upshot is that we are judged by our appearance so managing our image is important.
Women over 50 often struggle with feeling invisible. How we dress is a powerful tool to combat that lack of visibility by restoring our feelings of power and control.
Our generation has a challenge with fashion that earlier ones didn’t. My grandmother never struggled with what to put on in the morning. She wore her printed house dresses at home and dressed up to leave the house. There was no question about whether she should wear a T-shirt and jeans or a dress with stockings and sensible shoes. There were fewer options because there were unspoken rules.
Our generation doesn’t want to follow fashion rules unless they can use them as tools to dress with confidence. We want to make our own choices and dress to express ourselves. This freedom is welcome, but it can also leave many women unsure about what’s appropriate. With so many options to choose from, she needs a clear vision of the message she wants her clothes to send.
An open discussion about fashion and image is helpful for many women over 50. Does that make us frivolous? No, it makes us curious, intelligent women. To imply these conversations are unnecessary is to belittle the struggle many women face each morning.
Have you ever felt invisible? I’d love to hear your thoughts. What are you struggling with?
Jennifer,
You nailed it ! Great post ! Good for you ! The struggle for us is real and we seriously appreciate your posts !
Best to you,
Diane
Thanks for being here Diane!!
Since fashion blogs began I’ve become much more interested in not my only fashion choices, but also those of other women. I like to imagine what intention a women had when she chose her outfit. I’ve learned from bloggers that there are no rules and I don’t judge another woman’s choice. I often compliment a piece of clothing. This morning at a coffee shop I complimented a woman’s top. She thanked me and mentioned she was on her way to work. I told her that as a retiree, I like putting a working person ahead of me in line. She was thrilled about that and we both started our day in such a positive way. And it all started from thinking about fashion choices.
Brilliant Linlee! I think insecure women criticize other women’s fashion choices. Thanks for being here!
Hi Jennifer,
You are absolutely correct about our concern with fashion and being invisible after the age of 50. Dressing well improves our visibility. I don’t think we should obsess over clothing, but when we make dressing well easy, this enables us to move on with confidence. There is a coffee shop near my home I refuse to patronize any longer after being ignored at the counter in favor of younger customers. And I tip well!
Their loss Deborah! I hate to be ignored. How dare they? Thanks for being here.
I most certainly agree, Jennifer! If I put on a polished, stylish outfit for the day my confidence and self-esteem most definitely go up. Yes, it takes thought and a little extra time, but it is worth it!
It gets more and more challenging to know what to wear and how to wear it, especially since I am nearing mid-fifties. (And, anything seems to go these days.)
That is why I am so grateful that you take the time to share (and educate) what you consider stylish. I think the picture you posted sums it up well – what I wear and my own personal style is very important and says a lot about how I value myself. Thanks!
Exactly Miriam! Our clothes speak our message loudly and controlling that message is empowering. Thanks for being here.
I’m with you Jennifer!
Thanks for being here Louise.
You go girl!
:). Thanks Sally!
Jennifer, so we’ll said. At 65, I feel the same as if I was in my 20s. I wear what I want. Granted, my tastes have changed, and I do a much better job choosing clothes that work for me. As you said, wear what you feel confident wearing.
Thank you Pauline! I appreciate you being here and sharing.
This is so true!! I was sick for a long time and didn’t dress well. I always felt very frumpy. Since joining several wardrobe groups I’ve again started to care hobo look. I finally, at 64,felt good about myself. In the last 5 days, an event has taken me back several steps again. I’d had a double mastectomy years ago and have had several reconstruction surgeries. While on a flight to Florida, where we were about to board a ship for a cruise, one of my implants ruptured and leaked. I now have to have another surgery, probably to remove both implants. Now I have to rework my wardrobe,again. No one can tell me that clothes should have nothing to do with how we feel about ourselves! For me it’s everything!!
Oh Karen! I’m so sorry. That’s just a struggle you don’t need!! Good luck on your surgery and thank you for sharing, I’m pulling for you!!
Very well said, Jennifer!I enjoy your posts and find them helpful and encouraging. I agree with what you said. Thank you.
Thanks for being here Leigh. I appreciate you.
Thank you for your post.
Thank you!
Yes, Yes, and Yes to everything you said! I recently attended my 40th high school class reunion and you better believe I thought carefully what I was going to wear. And as I dressed, it did feel a little bit as if I was putting on my “armor”.
Yay Robin! It is armor and can provide confidence and joy! Thanks for being here.
Your post is exactly what I have been feeling this week. As a single woman in her 50’s I too struggle with what to wear. I’ve been focused on being a mom and raising kids the past few years. Now my kids are older and I want to dress more like a feminine, single woman and less like a mom without looking desperate or inappropriate. So I enjoy your posts and getting different perspectives.
Thank you Eva! It’s your time and it matters. Confidence can not be underrated!
First, Jennifer, thank you for sharing your thoughts and expertise in your blog, which I always enjoy reading. With regard to whether discussing fashion for women over 50 is frivolous, I have found that your blog, and a couple of others, have helped me to focus my wardrobe shopping on clothing that makes me feel confident and comfortable. As a result, I have been able to pare back to the wardrobe basics that I really wear and enjoy, and to change my accessories to suit the occasion. Thanks for what you do; wishing you a wonderful day!
Thank you Carol! I appreciate you being here and sharing with us.
Over the past couple of years, I discovered your blog and several others (Pam Lutrell, for one). They have been so helpful in helping me rediscover my style as an over-50 woman. I think it’s important for us to feel and look our best because it does make us confident and positive. What you do is NOT trivial at all! Thanks so much, Jennifer!
Thank you Beth! I appreciate you being here.
I couldn’t agree more, Jennifer! Clothes also provide joy, and that’s in short supply at all ages!
Yes, I agree Beth! !Thanks for pointing that out.
It’s easy to say, don’t let the naysayer(s) get to you. I guess I understand the point they’re trying to make. There are big problems in our world, and perhaps deciding what to wear is isn’t high on their list. On the other hand, in addition to reading about fashion for over-50s (or whatever age), I also like to see photos of, and read about food. So I guess there are those who say, we should only eat to live, and the rest is frivolity. But I like to cook, try different cuisines, and enjoy trying new recipes. And, I view this as one of many creative outlets I have. The same goes for clothing, photography, travel, and the arts. Some might argue all of these are “unimportant” and therefore, interest in them, is shallow. But I believe all of these areas (and more) help make our cultures and also make life worth living. Carry on, Jennifer!
Thanks For being here Marty! It is easy to let critics get you down, this gal just picked the wrong topic which has the opposite effect.
I agree that this is an important discussion. Clothes and how we choose them is a fascinating topic. I see clothing as a form of communication as well as creative self-expression. If clothing were not important to humans, we’d all be wearing a uniform, or maybe nothing at all. I never believe anyone who says he/she doesn’t care about how he/she looks… Admit it or not, we all care about our hair style, the look and comfort of our shoes, the style of our eyeglasses, what to wear to a special event, and so on. Thank you for an interesting discussion.
I never believe them either Cindy. It’s a cop out. Thanks for sharing here.
Thanks for this post! Yes, clothes are important- they can convey confidence or defiance, youthful outlook or established mantras. I’ve recently begun revamping my wardrobe to reflect who I am now – a vibrant woman ready for a new beginning. I maybe 60 but I still have something to share!
Awesome Sue!
What I hate is when I realized that younger people – say around ages 20 – 30 – start treating older women like everyone is their grandmother! And, then of course, is when you realize that you have become invisible to men, all men, no matter the age.
I hate that too, Linda! Then they start calling me “dear” which makes my head spun. Thanks for being here.
Could not agree with you more on this, and i don’t always agree with you????
What we women of a certain age wear, and i might argue that it applies to all women of any age, definitely impacts the way we are viewed and treated. It is not frivolous. It is part of the struggle we face every day in a world that is increasingly misogynistic. We need all the conversation we can get from all sources to help us through these times.
Keep doing what you do. It matters
Thanks for being here Ramona! I appreciate you sharing.
Agreed on all counts! What we wear is an extension of ourselves and I don’t believe it is a frivolous and shallow obsession. I am fortunate that in my personal and professional life I am not viewed as invisible but, at 58, I have started to feel that in public due to my age. It is more obvious on the days I don’t put the effort into my appearance. I won’t dictate to others and I ask the same in return. My appearance is a source of pride and confidence and I will continue to make that a priority – and follow your blog. Thanks!
It’s the same for me, Janet. If I put the effort in, I’m more visible which boosts my confidence. Thanks for being here!
Thanks Sarah. I do like constructive discussion of style and you’re so right, it’s nice to get other women’s take on an outfit. That said, some mighty unhappy people feel compelled to spread their unhappiness and I want no part of it. Thank you for reading.