Blending In Gray Hair

Happy Friday ladies! You may know hubs and I recently moved into a Del Webb community. We were anxious to try the lifestyle and see if it appealed to us. Several of you have asked me to report on my experiences and so today’s post rambling is about hair color, blending in and my observations about living in an active adult community.

Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled Life wearing Montreal Pant from Artful Home
JACKET unavailable / PANTS / LONG TANK / HANDBAG on sale/ SANDALS similar

We attended a welcoming meeting yesterday to get the low down on what’s up in this hood and the answer is a lot!Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled Life attending welcome mtg at Del Webb

You can be as active as you want here and they say if you get bored it’s your own fault. Mr. AWSL has jumped in with both feet and joined tons of groups. I’m going a little slower because I’m not a morning person. Everyone is very friendly and we are really enjoying the experience.Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled Life wearing Artful Home

I wore one of my favorite lightweight jackets from Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled Life wearing Artful Home

There are more gray-haired people living here than the average community…duh. I’m not sure if that makes me feel older or younger but it does have a sameness about it. There’s nothing wrong with sameness unless you like to look a little different, which I do.

I’ve been going gray for several months and not committed to it either way. The day it looks awful is the day I find a colorist. Moving has many challenges and I want to look like me during the process of establishing a new life in a new neighborhood.

Do you like to look unique or blend in?

Thanks for reading ladies and have a great day!


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  1. Just saw this post….you look great with your graying hair. Every time I think about low lighting my grey, I get too many compliments on the color and style (short). Only problem is it looks too white in photos taken in the bright sun…told like polar bears, my hair lets sun shine thru to look whiter. Also why I look better with color around my face instead of only white and black. Can not change my hair color because my wardrobe is designed for my graying hair! Ha! Am 5’3” (today) and a bit top heavy: wear 14 top (people say I am blessed) and 10 petite bottoms.

  2. I guess that for me, it’s not a matter of fitting or standing out. It’s a matter of what makes me feel prettiest. I feel prettiest with light/medium brown hair with warm/gold highlights. Thank you, Revlon #54! If my age peers feel prettier with silver gray, wonderful! If blond makes a friend feel attractive and confident, excellent. I think hair color should be a matter of feeling attractive and confident. It’s a very individual thing. 😀

  3. I live in Sun City/Hilton Head South Carolina and love it…I will never blend into any community I live in and that is just fine????

  4. I had to miss a few color appointments during the winter as I recuperated from open heart surgery. The silver really started to show and, since my hair was short anyway, I decided to go for it cold turkey after 40 plus yers of coloring. I’ve had two hair trims and there is just a bit of color left. My hair is white on the top, front and sides and salt and pepper in back with mostly pepper. I’m surprised at that since I’m 78 years old. I’m on a tight budget but never scrimped on my hair. Now I’m saving quite a bit and will use that money to go to more Broadway shows (I’m in CT, a 45 min. train ride from NYC) and some travel. I’m not blending in at all because my hair is short and spiked up. My 12 year old fashionista granddaughter told me I looked stylish and trendy. LOL . I have found that I need to make more of an effort with make up because my skin is quite fair and my eyes are light too. With white hair around my face I faded out. So I’ve had fun reacquainting myself with eye make up and blush and have learned that I need to allow more time when getting ready to leave the house. Gasp!

  5. Since I let my hair go white some people who didn’t know me before said I am “beautiful!” Another woman who has known me for years said it makes my skin more vibrant. I was worried that the white hair would not compliment my skin but not so. I stopped coloring my hair when I felt it no longer made me look younger but rather made me look like an old lady with dyed hair.

  6. Coloring my fine hair gives it more body so I won’t be stopping soon for that reason. Women with pretty white hair are striking but that washed out gray is not and that is what I would have.

    I like to have a little flair. The medium sized town I live in is getting older, more stuck in their ways and fight change. Everywhere you go everyone seems to be old. I realize it is inevitable but not sure it is the lifestyle my husband and I are ready for. Think I would enjoy a more vibrant area. I am not a joiner so would not like the organized activities/forced socialization at active lifestyle type places.

    Good luck with your adjustment-I sense some hesitancy our your part :).

    1. You sense very accurately. This isn’t a smooth adjustment for me so I’m taking it one day at a time. That’s why I’m glad we are renting.

  7. Hi, I too am letting my hair go gray. Just this week I had color blended into the gray. Very light blonde. You can definitely see 8 months of gray growth, but the blending color makes it unique as I continue my grow out. Fine a good colorist and let her blend the gray. You’ll love it!

  8. Unique here…Just saying…Sameness would drive me totally up the wall…Glad you are renting to consider whether you want to be a part of that life-style…You look great…Love your hair and the interesting third piece…

  9. Just can’t handle the grey in my hair because it’s heaviest (almost solid) around my face and makes me look dull. So I use a demi-perm color in the lightest natural blond that makes my grey look like hilights. We sat next to a couple who lived in a Dell Webb community on our trip to Italy, and I was completely turned off. The man talked so much about it I wondered if he was a salesman for the company. We live in the deep South, and our church and friends are like family. Can’t imagine moving away from them to a place that’s just older people. Here we have friends of all ages, go to weddings, host engagement parties, baby showers, work together on community projects, support each other when one is grieving, and even take trips together. Right now, the only way I would consider moving would be to help with a grandbaby. But I do hope you enjoy your new home and community.

    1. My grandson was the biggest draw to this area. He’s such a delight to be near and I’m thrilled to see more of him. The retirement community verdict isn’t in for us but we are giving it the old college try.

  10. Isn’t it amazing how going white or gray on top change how we see ourselves and others? I did the same as you, Jennifer, last year. with highlights as my helper – my original color was dark brown. I loved the transition, and 6 months into my new all-natural hair color, I realize how it impacts the colors we choose for clothing and how we see ourselves the community. It changes how others see us, bringing both blessings and biases. I needed to claim my identity first, and align my own awareness with the Wisdom, Caring, Clarity, Understanding, Creativity, Beauty, etc, – the greater Self that I have come to be because of having the gift of life for over 65 years. With brown eyes, brows and glasses, the white color highlights my face more. I manage my clothing colors more carefully – I rely on stronger colors and have given up cream, my brunette favorite, just to anchor the added light on top! Enjoy your exploration and cherish what you bring to life for so many. Whatever hair color we choose, everywhere we go there are people who see us and people who have yet to see us, but you can be sure that the legacy you have earned will be the gift you give to their hearts and souls around you. I appreciate what you share, and will continue to grow and learn, thanks to you,. May each of us continue to find everyday ways of adding more Beauty and Caring to our sense of Life to the lives of others…and wouldn’t it be wonderful also to always have a haircut/ style that brings out the enduring Strength and timeless Beauty within white and gray hair!

    1. Such a beautiful way of expressing the richness of white/gray hair! Our experiences have given us much wisdom and perspective. Thank you for sharing Vicki!

  11. Love your jacket and entire look. I like to look put together which usually means I stand out a bit because people I’m with usually say,”Why are you so dressed up?. And I’m really not. I have totally transitioned to gray in the last 6 months and get a lot of compliments. It came out a lovely white which I am thankful for. Something I have started doing from a suggestion from a blogger is to look at outfits on Instagram, save the ones that appeal to me, then shop my closet to put an outfit together. It has really given me great ideas and confidence. Love your help for us aging ladies. 68 here and not giving it up!

    1. Agreed-I like to look put together when I go out. So many women look sloppy as they get older. You can dress casually but still nice without a lot of effort.

    2. Way to go Konda!! Giving up is never an option. Sadly some women do give up so those of us who take time with our appearance appear dressed up to them.

    3. Konda, what Instagram site? I’d love to see outfits as well – I’m at an age where I’m discovering that my wardrobe might be for a person ten/twenty years younger than myself and eeek, maybe that’s not the right way to go. I’m put together and always dress classy, but maybe a little younger than I should be. Although – when you feel pretty…. I say run with it! hehe

  12. DW communities had been suggested to us, as we are newly retired and love a good time, but we decided against that format. We chose new construction in a new community that just happens to have mostly older (but hip) people! (And not such a large community). Couldn’t find one person who REALLY ate sushi as seen in their ads! We wanted a pool at our home rather than a communal one (just sitting around it with a cocktail is a fun evening!), AND I will continue to cover my gray hair forever. I like a subtle blond look, and the time at the hair salon inspires me to continue my beauty rituals. As we get older it becomes difficult to hold on to who we really are, and what we have tried to achieve as a woman and person. Guard it carefully and don’t give in to sameness. (I have a little superstition -” once you stop coloring your hair, it’s only downhill from there.”

    1. I agree that cocktails around the pools sounds fabulous! I’ve never been one to aspire to sameness and agree we must guard our individuality carefully.

    2. I wholeheartedly agree too! My appointment is tomorrow and I came on here to find out if color will fill the shaft of the hair better so I don’t have so many fly aways. I love the white of my hair, but I think I need color to weight it down – I’m not a fan of the stripe – so my colorist thinks I’m difficult (haha) – but really – I just want as natural as possible, maybe caramel added in. Jennifer looks amazing! I could only wish for hair like hers!!!

  13. After coloring my hair most of my life, I went gray when coloring became challenging due to changing natural color. It began to be orange-looking in places! It is so liberating! I love being gray.
    The difficulty in dealing with aging hair is dryness. I condition daily and deep condition weekly and deal with frizz when the weather is humid. I also swim several times a week, so that doesn’t help. However, it’s always something, isn’t it?
    I’m thankful for good health and that’s the most important thing.

  14. I don’t know that this type of community is a thing in Canada. Maybe it is on the West Coast where the weather is better. It certainly looks really nice. My Dad would only accept retirement living at 92 when he needed assisted living for my mother. They did live in a townhouse community but it was mix of all ages. My parents loved having working folks and young families around them. Having had our children later we are used to having a lively household and now we have a grandson and our youngest child is twenty one and is still at home. No resort style retirement living for us but we do have a beach house and hope to move on to a condo as a downsize.

    1. Your beach house sounds fabulous! They do have active retirements all over the west coast of Canada. We hope to tour a few later this summer.

  15. Im not really either, I like feeling confident and put together in my personal style. I let my gray grow in last year and I was pleasantly surprised at the great color of my hair. I’ve had many tell me if their hair would be my color they’d go gray as well. Glad you’re enjoying the new area.

  16. I don’t intend to stand out or blend in (with some job exceptions). I like to have fun with colour, pattern and accessories though and I must stand out to some extent as I frequently get compliments. I am curious how you find being in an adult community. Some find it too “old” and others really enjoy it. Since I feel 30 inside I’m not sure where I fit!

  17. Getting ready to retire later this year so enjoy trying out some things like retirement community life vicariously through your blog. Love your style & willingness to share with all of us.

  18. I am very interested in hearing about the pros and cons of living in a Del Web community, or one like it. I’m also not a morning person and not a joiner really. I usually like to do my own thing as I have many hobbies that keep me busy. But I do occasionally enjoy dinner out with other couples or lunch out with a group of girls. I enjoy easy card games with others but without the stress of competition. You and your hubby were very smart to give this place a trial run before committing to a final move.

    1. I’ve tried several activities and they were fun. It remains to be seen if I feel like I belong and make real friends. Too early to say yet. I’ll keep you posted.

    2. I am a morning person but not a joiner. I was wondering if a Del Web community or similar would be a comfortable fit for me. Would folks pester me to join in or just let me do my own thing? Is it a gossipy, competitive, clique-y place? I’m so interested to follow along with how Jennifer likes her new home.

  19. I’ll be 65 this summer, and there are about 10 gray hairs on my head of medium brown/auburnish hair. I do a bit of highlighting in front, but the rest is au natural. Interestingly, I’m often asked about my colorist, and no one really likes to hear I’m not gray. With my autumn coloring, I don’t think it would be becoming, but I do admire (envy?) those with stunning silver hair and the coloring to pull it off. Good luck in your new community. You’ll stand out wherever you are Jennifer!

  20. I let my natural color fly starting a couple of years ago. With my new spring ‘do I was feeling a little blah. I just had some high(?) lighting done by embracing the blue in my hair. I now have blue streaks & have had several compliments & little kids love it! It will fade over time & I will decide if I want to do it again or not!

    1. I’ve had a blue streak before and lived it’s sassiness. Wild colors are a great way to have fun with your hair. Way to go Sharon!

  21. Jennifer, be who you are, interesting, and different, grey or not. I’m glad to know I’m not alone in not being a morning person. And glad you dress wonderfully!

  22. I too live in a Del Webb Community but do not intend to blend in. I will always have blonde hair, no gray for me even if I have to dye it myself. Love the outfits you put together especially the flat front pants zippers shouldn’t be allowed on 60+ ladies tummy’s. Love the long tanks and long necklaces. And your cute shoes always finish off your outfits. You’ve had me in Macy’s and Nordstrom trying to find similar togs. Thanks so much. Keep up your Well- Styled Life!!

  23. You would be a stand out whereever you lived! I’m with you and some of the other commentors that I like to dress well and even stand out a bit, not flashy but artful. I dress conservatively but with a creative twist, usually. I’m getting so tired of coloring my hair, but since I work in a very creative field and am constantly in public eye, I feel that I have to keep it going. How can I go from coppery red to grey without looking awful??

  24. I would say, neither. I like to dress for my comfort and style. I do dress for the occasion within those parameters.
    A great look on you, Jennifer. I bet you were a standout amongst the other grey hairs. (no insult intended)
    I’m not sure I would like living in one of these retirement communities. I’ve been in enough of them with our motor home to tire of the life in a month. I can’t imagine that would be my life. I think having younger people around you keeps you thinking young. I’m very interested in your take on the life though.

    1. I am not decided either way yet. There are many pluses and minuses to living in one. The biggest joy so far is being closer to my grandson. I expect it always will be that.

  25. I never really thought about it, but I guess I like looking different from everyone else. My coloring is similar to yours, Jennifer and I have my hair highlighted because I look dull otherwise. Your hair looks highlighted, mine is mousy brown. Maybe my preference is to wear something as a conversation starter, or makes me look interesting to others…still conservative but artsy. As I’ve aged, clothing has become more interesting to me. I used to have my career to talk about and now I’m discovering other facets of myself that I like. We get such freedom as we age! Love it! Blessings my friend.

    1. Such an interesting perspective Cheryl Ann! Clothing has become more interesting for many women as they age, me included. It’s a wonderful form of self expression.

  26. I think you look ready good in that outfit.

    I love the coral lipstick as well.

    I enjoy your posts very much.

    Going grey was pretty hard but I see now the dark hair was not a good look!

  27. I like to blend in but look put together. I’m not one for flashy clothes or pink hair! A nice outfit, tasteful jewelry, comfortable yet stylish shoes. I went grey last year and I’m loving it. I turned sixty and I’m putting more thought into making healthy choices. Putting color on my hair is something I don’t want to do anymore.
    I’m embracing my grey and getting more compliments on my hair than I ever did when I colored it!

  28. Definitely, I like to look unique. No blending in. I keep wondering when I will feel differently (I’m 62)…but I have a feeling it’s a lifelong experience!

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