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The Edit

We talk about downsizing our home and clearing out our wardrobe, but what about editing other things. I’m talking about books we’re not overly fond of, television shows we watch out of habit or boredom, hobbies, and experiences we repeat that gives us no joy, and yes, people.

Current circumstances have forced an edit of the people we spend time with. This has me wondering if this isn’t a great time to re-evaluate what you keep in your life?

I’ve had plenty of time to go through some boxes in my garage, and while I love books, I’ll be donating monstrously large piles of them, once the donation centers are back open. There’s no need to keep a book I read years ago and had to force myself to finish.

My wardrobe is getting the biggest edit because I’m in the process of getting my colors redone again by several experts and expect to need an update. I want higher quality garments that I will wear with delight rather than mere pleasure. I’m hoping to fine-tune my things to own less but of higher quality.

I also don’t want to needlessly waste time on activities and people I really don’t enjoy. Life is so much more than the things we own and if nothing else, this time at home has reinforced how precious our time is.

Editing out what isn’t important gives you more time for the things that are.

What have you edited from your life lately?

Be well and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.

 

70 Comments

  1. Of course, my “edit” was done by an arsonist who set the forest on fire and burned down my house and seven others in my neighborhood. Let me offer some reflections: I find that I am strangely relieved that all that junk in the garage I was going to “get to” is now gone. All the clothes I bought on whim and regretted are gone, along with the guilt I felt for not wearing them. The baby pictures and other childhood stuff I had recently doled out to the kids is safe in their houses and I don’t need to worry about keeping them safe in my house. I lived in fear for 30 plus years of a fire in our fire-prone area, and now I don’t worry about that anymore. I had some neighbors who were “troublesome,” but now I don’t have to think about them ever again. A few years ago, I had gathered up small family heirlooms and stored them elsewhere. Those things I still have. I had put all kinds of things “in the cloud,” so that stuff still exists. I did lose many things that I can never replace, but my family is safe. That is the most important thing. (I know that has become almost a cliche, it really is true.)

    If you want to edit your life, do it now. Don’t wait until circumstances do it for you. You may find that the “stuff” you couldn’t part with is the “stuff” you won’t miss.

  2. Today I am wearing a shirt which has shrunken in a most unusual way — just the sleeves, and a lot. Since sleeve fit is critical for my long arms, I think it would be the perfect face mask material. This is just the encouragement I needed to get out the scissors. Editing my wardrobe, literally. I’ll wash it first.

  3. I haven’t finished all the posts but I intend too. It is sad how we start out with good intentions to purge and then a couple of years, back it comes. I became a minimalist a few years ago and got off track. Now I need to do it again. We didn’t miss anything we got rid of either. I guess out of sight out of mind is true but we replaced it with other things. I didn’t bring the books or the crafts back in or even kitchen items or decor. I brought back in clothes however. Time to revisit the clothes I really wear and dump the ones I don’t. You have to stay focused on what not to bring home.

  4. This was a very thought provoking article. Due to the recent times we are living in and having the extra time at home, I have also been downsizing my wardrobe and household. I too only want to make future purchases of articles in the best quality I can afford, in styles and colours that I am certain look best of me. I don’t want or need a packed closet full of clothes that I don’t regularly wear or am confident I look good in. I may have to find a way to have a colour analysis done as well, as I’m not 100% confident that I do know what looks best on me. I check the news to keep up with current events, but have stopped watching the nightly news as these unsettling times cause me to be anxious and then don’t sleep well. I prefer instead to relax with a good book. I’m trying to be more assertive (which is not my natural nature) to say no to things I do not want or feel comfortable with, or surround myself with others who I really do not enjoy spending time with. My husband and I have embarked on trying to be more active and healthy. We make a weekly menu and spend time cooking supper together, and take our dog for a sixty minute walk each day. I also have begun doing an online exercise workout for seniors (I’m sixty) a few mornings a week which I’m loving. Spending more time at home and in my yard has actually been a bit of a blessing. I’m thankful for what I have and only want to keep what makes me happy. Excess does not make me happy, only causes me stress. My husband does not always agree with what I think we need to toss or donate, but I’m happy if we can agree on most things. Happiness to me is family, good friends who share the same values as you do, and thankful for what you have. Sometimes, happiness does mean editing possessions and even people in your life that don’t fit those qualities.

    1. May I ask, which senior workout you do on line? I’ve been following Jenny McLendon and love it…she also caters to seniors…
      Thanks

  5. Claudette says:

    This was a very thoughtful article. I really enjoyed it and the remarks by the readers. I downsized four years ago when I retired and moved to be closer to family. This downtime has been constructive in that I have completed the chores that kept hitting the bottom of my to do list but has also been a relief in not having to be so heavily involved in activities and running around. I have been doing the things I enjoy and not the things I feel I must do and that has lifted a lot of stress from my life. I have had time to watch the birds and their you and even laugh at the family of three squirrels even as they have deconstructed my potted plants. Plus I have been so enjoying the telephone calls to my cousins now that we have time to reconnect.

  6. This post was timely and to the point, Jennifer. Very well done! And the comments have allowed me to feel in good company with so many ladies feeling the same as I. My husband and I downsized years ago and have made carefully thought out purchases to keep our home streamlined and simple. It is refreshing and…much easier to clean! I so enjoy reading your posts everyday. Thank you!

  7. I made a decision to use up and wear out the clothes I already have before buying more and then slowly curate a new higher quality/spark joy wardrobe.

    Iā€™ve been spending most of my SIP time gardening and DIY home improvements. Somehow everything gets a stain or bleach spot! When did I get so messy? Now is the time to wear all those t shirts that donā€™t spark joy, the purple summer dress I wasnā€™t crazy about and the cool light cotton skirt that puckers in a funny place.

    I bought a few quality classics that were drastically reduced for next winter. You canā€™t go wrong investing in a few quality basics and there has never been a bigger selection and in all sizes. The plan is to do another big closet purge around Labor Day and toss all the unloved, stained and worn out clothes.

    I believe that retailers will continue having good sales for many months. They will have to liquidate all that surplus that was on order before the pandemic. There in no more urgency buying for an event or a trip or office clothes for those who work. Itā€™s a great time to carefully curate what you really love at much lower prices.

  8. I have been binge watching Hoarders and Marie Kondo’s show Tidying Up. Quite frankly, not much of my stuff “sparks joy”. I don’t want to leave a lot for others to deal with either. I want to convert the kids rooms into guests rooms but I’m stuck. Too many memories. Too much stuff.

    1. Sometimes I take pictures of the ā€œprecious stuffā€ and then let it go. Works for me, not so much for my husband. Good luck with the task. šŸŒŗ

      1. I was going to suggest the same thing! Good luck!

  9. sheryl beil says:

    the posts about the closets are close to my mind today, i retired early in April, they offered insurance and i jumped on it at 63, its all i needed to be happy at home…but when i go in my closet i just cringe…where on earth is all this stuff going to be worn now….i bagged up about 5 shopping bags full and as soon as my donation site opened, i dropped them off. went thru the shoes, and anything worn well was given up…there is still a lot in there…and i have stopped cold with my online shopping. i still browse, but my mind is made up, if i dont absolutely love it or need it, i gotta pass on it.

  10. I am slowly getting rid of things one trash bag at a time. I just retired from teaching last month so the first thing I did was to donate all but a couple of my school t/shirts to give to any of the remaining teachers who might want one. I am throwing out as much as I can but my husband recently developed Sudden Onset Dementia and he can at times be greatly opposed to my cleaning out things we do not need. I just wait until he is busy with something else and go back. Once done, he actually likes what I just did. Itā€™s all in how I approach it and timing. Itā€™s ok, I now have all the time in the world to get this doe… one trash bag at a time!

    1. My husband wants to keep everything so I bag things up when heā€™s not around too šŸ™‚

  11. Hi Jennifer, we moved and downsized 2 years ago. Moreover, the last 9 weeks ( canā€™t even recall how long its been) we downsized even further. Books, clothes, furnishings have all gone to local charities. My car is loaded waiting to be donated today! However, in addition we have really cherished our time alone without cocktails, dinners plus with those I realise we might minimise activity with in time to come……
    I have read many new mind worthy books. Those weā€™ve kept in placing in a new bookcase where they can showcase.
    Interesting how the internet has ā€œnotā€ my new wardrobe purchases..:)
    Be well…. Hugs Rory

  12. I seasonally weed out my clothes and donate them but I still have a closet the size of a bedroom. I consider being fashionable as my joyful hobby. We all have a back story and oftentimes what we keep has emotional roots. I was heavy as a child and unable to afford clothes that would compensate for my size. I now enjoy being a healthy weight and the knowledge and income to be fashionable. I have a friend of 50 years who mocks me and considers me frivolous for owning beautiful jewelry, clothes and following fashion blogs. As a counter, I don’t engage, but I do try to compliment her when I admire something of hers. This self righteous attitude is something those of us who enjoy fashion can be confronted with. As we all go on these quests for minimalism or downsizing, make certain we don’t berate others for being less enthusiastic and not doing the same.

    1. Does that friend “spark joy”?

    2. She doesnā€™t sound like a friend. She sounds passive aggressive and unkind. Are you sure you want to keep her in your life?

  13. Iā€™ve found that after a purge I forget what I got rid of. I need to do more purging. I also realized even before our current situation that I was doing things I found no joy in and was spending time with people I no longer enjoyed. I made some changes and am much happier. I think itā€™s an age thing. Quality is definitely better than quantity. Itā€™s so true in possessions and people. The worst thing for me during this pandemic is being unable to hug my grands!

  14. We downsized about 11 years ago and I really freaked out but we found we didn’t miss a thing. Since staying home now we have another huge amount to give away. But now I don’t feel anxious about it, just more in control of my life. So many books to donate! We really, really miss the kids and grandkids and our friends. We’ve slowly been able to start seeing them again. Really makes you appreciate things we took for granted.

  15. Amy Weiner says:

    Your post reflects exactly how I am feeling lately! I just finished Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up for the second time. I realized I was holding on to a lot of clothing and accessories that I did not enjoy wearing. Hopefully, someone else will enjoy my donations. My closet is emptier, but everything that is there makes me smile!

  16. We downsized about 11 years and we sold and gave away so much I thought I might have a heart attack! But you know we haven’t missed a thing really. Since staying home we have another huge amount to give away. It now makes me feel more in control of my life and less anxious.we found we we’re saving things for the kids that they didn’t even want. Sons aren’t that very sentimental it turns out! We’ve kind of decided that while missing our friends we really, really miss the kids and grandkids.

  17. Paulette—I LOVE the Flavia de Luce series and have re -read several times. I also have recommended to every librarian I meet and parents of bright young girls. I confess that when I see the kids soaring down the street on their bikes I immediately think, “Gladys”.

    My husband is the one who holds on to things “you never know when you might need it” kind of attitude. He has been very creative at jerry-rigging some things to make other things work when they’ve broken down. We have old plug in the wall electric radios (you never know when….) and all sorts of junk (to me) like that.

    I’m like my grandma—I’ve rarely met a table-setting piece I didn’t like, so we have tons of dishes and glassware. Some, of course, is inherited and not wanted by our daughter, so I hang on to it. I do enjoy setting a pretty table as much as I enjoy putting my wardrobe together.

    1. Me too, Carol! My kitchen and ā€œstuffā€ makes me happy. I love to do a nice table too and actually use things that were passed down to us, and I always manage to bring home something delightful from travels!

    2. I was going to suggest the same thing! Good luck!

  18. Even your post today was editedā€”succinct, to the point. And one of your best ever. More, pleasešŸ˜‰

  19. What a thoughtful topic today. Thank you, Jennifer. What I value and miss most these days is time spent with my children and grandchildren. Since none of them live close by, I always had to travel to see them, so I do miss that travel/family time. But other than that, it has been oddly a relief to get off the busy volunteer, errands, shopping merry-go-round. Time to think about how I want to live after this current crisis passes.

    1. I love this comment, Bea! I agree completely, as I am in the same boat. Family is the most important thing in all this world. This quarantine has brought to us the timely lesson of what matters most, and it is not things, but the people we so dearly love.

    2. Itā€™s wonderful to find so many of us are on the same page, Bea!

  20. Went I moved to downsize, I got rid of almost everything, old, worn out, unused, but did buy better things like a new coffee maker, and furniture, and invested in built in storage where necessary. Then I thought more carefully about what I wanted to add to my life when I bought something. And moving also gave me thought about the friends I appreciated, or wanted to have or keep. I have found that many people just want to keep busy , to not think. I prefer to be less busy, and have time to think. These last three months, have been filled with thinking, a couple of thoughts were, we need more trees and walking paths, and we need more quality clothes in fewer ( and smaller) stores, and we need more truthful kindness.

      1. I agree. good comment.

      2. Totally agree, you are spot on!

  21. Cathy Dalton says:

    Hi Jennifer, I have been enjoying reading your blogs through this difficult time. I am from New Zealand and have been travelling, house/pet sitting in Canada, Australia and now back home. I sold my home in 2015 and have had my possession stored in a good friends shed since mid 2017. When I arrived back in NZ in February this year, I had just finished reading a book by Elaine St James. The book is Simplify Your LIfe and it struck a real chord with me. I realised that most of the stuff in storage was just that, stuff. My good friend and I spent the day sorting through all my things and managed to cut down by 2/3rds the amount of stuff that I am keeping. I donated a large amount to family members, gave a lot to Womens Refuge, sent some things to the auction house and actually threw a few things out that weren’t fit for anyone else. It was actually a great experience and now I only have things left that are meaningful to me. When and if I do set up home again, it will be great to be able to trawl through some second hand shops for things that I really need. Keep up the great work. Best wishes Cathy.

    1. I just unpacked that book from a box in the garage and itā€™s on my reread list!

  22. I love the IDEA of editing our “stuff” but I find it really difficult to actually do it. Biggest stumbling block for me is “maybe someday I’ll want to use it again” or “need it again”, etc.

    1. Those are common worries for me too but I force myself and have never regretted donating

  23. Your post today hit home for me. As a certified professional organizer, I’ve taken this time during lockdown to edit my own possessions more thoroughly, as in-person client visits have not been possible. One saying (and I can’t take credit for it; I believe it’s from Courtney Carver, blogger at Be More With Less) I’ve printed out and framed is “The best way to enjoy your favorite things is to own only your favorite things.”
    Looking forward to reading about the results from your color analysis and the implications on your wardrobe choices!

  24. I am 77 and see the world becoming smaller, too. We really downsized 6 years ago. Sold two large homes and donated, sold, or junked the contents of both. I thought I would need therapy. The pleasurable part was the donations to worthwhile groups, Bunk beds to a homeless shelter, appliances to start up restaurants, bedding to an abused womanā€™s group home, toys and crafts to kids…on and on. We have and still do have so much. Talk about first world problems. ā€œ How to dispose of too muchā€.

  25. Hi Jennifer,

    We had a fire a couple of years ago and lost everything. Our only regret was losing all of our family pictures and a few personal things we loved. We realized you hardly need anything in life and have tried to keep things at a minimum. We really aren’t attached to much anymore, in fact, I have put the most important things in a couple of boxes and thats what we need to take if it ever happens again. What’s important is family, friends, and our dog Angel. You can’t replace them. We realize how precious life is we had 10 mins to get our of our cabin that we owned. We have re-built since then and came out better financially than before due to great insurance and the generosity of some people, but we built back what we owned. God is good ….

  26. Jennifer, what a timely subject matter this morning! We are spending an extraordinary amount of time in our homes and that allows us to fully see what we like or need to exist.
    I saw this change in my mother and mother-in-law as they became less interested in so many things that used to bring joy to their lives. Their entire world grew smaller with the loss of family, friends and they just needed much less to be content. They lived in a more condensed version of their homes and they found less attachment to physical items.
    I find myself sliding slowly into this same pattern. I feel a stronger power to say goodbye to ā€œstuffā€ and say ā€œnoā€ to activities I no longer enjoy.
    Nothing in life stays the same for long.

    1. I think that happens a lot and Iā€™m not sure whether itā€™s negative or positive.

  27. I was “on go” nearly everyday before we began staying at home and, to be honest, it’s been a surprising relief. I didn’t realize how easy it would be to give up activities that I thought I enjoyed. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise in some respects.

  28. There was a piece in The NY Times recently titled “the joy in having things canceled”! It struck a chord with me….I have had so many things canceled and donā€™t really mind! So…Iā€™m editing the groups, meetings, errands I used to do…Not needed are things I was joyful when they canceled!
    Books, Christmas decorations, nicknacs, went long ago…

    1. I need to edit my Christmas decos! I forgot about them šŸ™‚

  29. Limitations of all kinds require prioritizing. Iā€™m terrible at letting go because I see creative potential in almost everything. But Iā€™m finding as I get older that I am less and less inclined to tackle projects and most of those creative possibilities remain just that. Waiting and staring at me accusingly. Reminding me that life isnā€™t timeless, as it once was, nor my options as endless.

    I have not yet reconciled this disconcerting stage of life.

    1. I agree with you Penelope. I moved through the downsizing & retirement phase a couple of years ago and also struggle with this stage being a little disconcerting. I can’t quite put my finger on why except maybe shopping/”gathering” was a part of my life I thought I enjoyed. Now it’s time to replace it with quality activities.

    2. I’m not sure if you or anyone would enjoy reading about the fictional accounts of women going through this new season of life. I enjoyed it very much and bought it when it was only printed in Australia.
      It’s now on Amazon in the USA. It’s a book called A month of Sundays by Liz Byrski.

  30. Paulette Levy says:

    Like you, just before the Stay at Home orders went into effect my husband and I donated close to 80 hardcover books to the library at the local Senior Center/community center. We had book cases and bookcases and I was getting tired of staring at the titles I knew Id never read again. I have held onto my Louise Penny mysteries and my Alan Bradley Flavia de Luce series books as I enjoy re reading them. It seems I find something new and meaningful with each reading. But… Right now that’s where I’ve purged the old……

    1. Those type are the ones to keep! Iā€™m donating ones Iā€™ll never read again. Someone will love them.

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