The Fine Art of Dignity and How I Lost It
Happy Sunday ladies. Because it can feel like life is in free fall, I thought I would reshare this post. I think the ability to laugh at ourselves is healthy so today I’m sharing a post that will give you a different perspective on me:) It’s about the time I crammed myself through the dog door, in the middle of the night, wearing soaking wet PJ’s… such a fond memory and got me thinking about dignity.
What is dignity?
- It usually comes with age, but there’s no guarantee.
- It’s intricately linked to one’s self-confidence and manners.
- You can fake this one till you make it…but it only feels good when authentic.
- It’s usually tested most vigorously during the impact of criticism.
- It looks like poise and acts like self-respect.
- It can’t be taken away from you but you can throw it away.
- Along with poise, it’s an integral component of being elegant.
- It can be cultivated, fostered and become a natural part of you.
So how do dignified people behave?
- They hold themselves accountable and take the moral high road.
- They respect other’s right to their opinions.
- They are polite and treat others with respect.
- They’re grounded, centered and control their emotions.
- They defend their position with assertiveness, without becoming aggressive.
- They are humble, civil and good sports.
Has the word dignity crossed your radar screen lately?
*This is an edited post. I usually have my husband proofread my posts for spelling mistakes. He asked, “Where are your boundaries for sharing personal stuff?”
Hmm… I’d made reference to a family member (his side) who I’d witnessed throwing her dignity away. I hadn’t named names, but it made him ask. So I took it out 🙂
~~~
I try to live my life with as much grace and elegance as possible… but occasionally…it’s out of my hands.
Case in point… It was pouring cats and dogs 2 weeks ago. My husband was sound asleep, upstairs. While locking up downstairs, ( in my PJ’s, no slippers or robe), I heard a cat howling outside the front door of our courtyard. Curious, I left our house door open and slipped through the courtyard door to investigate. The wind slammed the outside door shut which automatically locked me out. IT WAS POURING! Such fun.
Luckily our garage has a keypad for access. By the time I got into the garage, I was drenched and freezing. Sadly, the door from our garage to the house was locked (I’m so efficient) with a double-key lock. You must have a key to unlock it from the inside and the outside. We installed it so burglars couldn’t reach through the dog door and unlock it. Brilliant move.
No doorbell in the garage, no key… I got down on my hands and knees, stuffed myself as far as possible through the dog door, and called for help. Then I yelled. Finally, I started bellowing like a fish wife, until my husband woke up and came to rescue me.
I must have been a sight, jammed into that dog door because he’s still laughing about it.
What does dignity mean for you?
Thanks for a hilarious story! We all need to laugh right now. Luckily your husband heard you! Not sure mine would….I would have been stuck in the doggy door all night!
He wouldn’t hear me now because his hearing isn’t as good as it was then.
Ha! Hilarious story, Jennifer! If only there was a video…
I’m sure glad there isn’t. A drowned rat comes to mind:)
In 2006, I went through a divorce which I had thought (silly me ) would be amicable. The road I chose to take was so high that at times I had a bloody nose from the altitude. Fourteen years later I am beyond grateful that I took that path.
I did the same thing in 1986. I’m glad I did but, his family and our child disagree now. The thing is, I KNOW I DID THE RIGHT THING, kept my dignity and my child safe by not sinking to the dank depths of the life-style he could not shake for love nor money. He died a heroin addict.
I’m very glad you saved yourself and your child!! You know you did the right thing.
Good for you. You’re a classy lady Susan.
Oh my gosh. Thank you for the laugh. I aim for dignity but sometimes fall short. As a writer at home, I talk to myself a lot to try out bits of dialogue and sometimes do it when I’m outside. The other day, I caught myself doing it in the supermarket. Luckily everyone else is so rattled, nobody seemed to notice. Take care of yourself. Xx
You are hilarious and I laugh at your writing often. XX
Dignity means knowing who you are. I have heard people say if they have to have someone else cut their meat at a meal, they will have lost their dignity, With my disability, my hands and arms are numb and cutting something is the least of my problems.
That wouldn’t make me lose my dignity either Peggy. We have to do what’s necessary and have the grace to accept the help we need. Bravo Peggy
I wish someone would read your definition of dignity from the floor of the House and the Senate and challenge our politicians to strive for dignity. There was a time of dignity in those places, but no more. I am so tired of the constant bickering and back biting that comes from Congress. Of course, I am not very dignified when I am yelling at the TV because of something a politician said.
I don’t think you were undignified by climbing through the doggy door and screaming at your husband to open the door. I’m sure you handled it with a great deal of dignity considering you were wet, cold and desperate. Such moments make great memories.
My mother once got her apron caught on the handle of the garage door while she was opening it. Her hands were full of food to be put in the freezer. There was no place to set the food down so she had to stand there while the door continued trying to pull her up in the air. She called for help from her family. We ran out to help, but made her wait while one brother ran back in to get a camera to take her picture. Fortunately, she laughed the whole time and did not throw the food at us. Now that is dignity. It is a memory my brothers and I still love to bring up.
Thanks for this subject, Jennifer.
Hugs, Phylly
She sounds like quite a woman. Happy Sunday
Enjoyed reading all the comments. We need a chuckle these days. My incident happened several years ago . We had friends visiting and they were down at the pool. I decided it was time for refreshments so I came down the steps with tray in hand and behold my bathing suit top just happened to fall down. There I was unable to pull it up because I was holding a heavy tray. So I carried on smiling and said “you all didn’t expect that”. However, thank goodness they were people I knew very well and we all laughed.
That’s hilarious! Thanks Mollie, I needed the chuckle.
Well, my moment was yesterday. I participated in a Zoom call with probably 100 people. I really don’t know how these work and I am accustomed to conference calls where no one can see you. I was wearing my nightgown. It may have looked a little like a top, but not too much. So I am probably known to the other 99 as the crazy old lady in her nightgown. Next time I have such a call I will take all of the advice from the blogs and dress up to be at home!
Oh my, this made me smile.This is a risk we were all talking about at my work last week as we prepared to work at home and were being trained on video chats. I’ll follow your lead and get dressed for starting in my home office each day! Thank you for sharing.
Oh wow! That’s eye-opening. Thanks for sharing, Be well
As always thank you for being there. You made me think of something I did 2 decades ago. My husband and I were leaving a “big deal” football game. You know stuck in the bleachers, laughing, talking and not paying attention. As I was laughing and talking to someone a couple rows up I tucked my hand into my husband pocket (as was my habit then) so I stayed with him and didn’t trip. To my absolute horror I had tucked my hand into a complete strangers pocket. I’m flushing now as I recount my horror.
Lol! That would be embarrassing. Thanks for sharing.
OMG I did that at a hockey game years ago, reaching out to grab the waistband of my husband’s jeans while watching my footing on the stairs as we worked our way through the crowd toward the exit. When the crowd thinned & I was no longer afraid of tripping, I looked up & realized I was holding some complete stranger by his waistband, snatched my hand back & blurted, “I’m so sorry! I thought you were my husband!” He looked at me in horror & said “I thought you were my wife!” We looked around frantically for our respective spouses, who fortunately were nearby — NOT holding onto each other, as it turned out. We all had a good laugh & my husband still teases me about it. I hope the other man’s wife was as understanding.
That is hilarious Janet. Thanks for the laugh
my loss of dignity story has to be when I came out of the bathroom in a New Orleans restaurant with toilet paper sticking out of my pants and trailing down! A nice lady saw it and told me about it before everyone in the place saw it!
That happened to my mother in law when we were visiting Pier 39. There were crowds everywhere. My husband just walked up behind her and pulled the tail out. We never told her.
Thank you for the smiles this Sunday morning. I have been in a similar position regarding a dog door but it wasn’t raining. Funny!
I’m glad I’m not the only one:)
Funny story Jennifer! I laugh at quite a bit mostly about me and what I do too! Glad you were safe. Enjoy your blog we need laughter to get through life no matter what is going on.
Thanks
Have a great Sunday, Nicole
Is Dignity holding your head up and finishing your grocery shopping when you realize you wore your house shoes to the super market? Asking for a friend, : )
Lol! It sure is. Well done, Eve:)
or your slippers to graduation…yes full regalia…and …. can you say “absent minded professor?”
Thanks for the early morning giggle! enjoyed reading all the other comments.I would post my “Lost dignity”story but it is too long,etc. Think we all appreciate knowing we are not alone in the”I can’t believe I did that”moments. recently,after a number of falls,dislocated bones,etc. when the EMT’s came for me.one looked around and asked if she hadn’t been here before! I said yes, about 2 weeks ago.They even know where the spare key is to get into the house!Please keep sharing your posts. It helps. Stay safe and use lots of Lysol!
So funny! I’m right there with you, because I had a similar thing happen to me. The only way in was a first floor, bathroom window that doesn’t lock. The window’s old and too high for me to push it up more than about 10 inches.. enough to get my head and upper body through. With my hands on top of the toilet, I pushed my back up against the window, trying to get it open enough to let the rest of my body through. Wound up scraping my front ribs and back. The whole time my dog is barking, like she’s never seen me before.
Sounds hilarious and stressful. We’re you in PJ’s! I’m sure your dog was barking moral support. Mine stayed upstairs in Her cozy bed for most of this. She thought I was insane!!
Jennifer,
I think of Judy Dench and the pride of brave and passionate women supporting one another and raising one another up and the ability to laugh at life’s little down pours and to find the sun.
pve
You always say things so beautifully pve! Finding the laughter in life keeps me going.
Oh no…what a story! I can just picture that and you probably felt like laughing too, but were too cold shivering. I’m glad you made it inside and that it was raining instead of snowing…that would have been even worse. I think you hit on so many points and I never really thought about dignity so in depth, but it’s definitely something that only feels good when authentic and is truly how you treat other with respect and value their opinions. There’s definitely a few fights I had with my sister in my 20’s where I didn’t act dignified and regret. But we can always change. Great post!
Hope you’re having a perfect time in Nashville!
xoDale
Thanks Dale.
The conference was amazing! It was full of terrific info and great women!
Did this the first day in a new home in a snow storm. Was in only a robe and husband was 2 hrs away. Had the movers leave most of the boxes in the garage and was going back and forth to unload. Door locked behind me on one of my trips. Had to meet my new neighbors practically naked. They were some of the best neighbors we had. P.S. It was in Texas and we usually only get one snow a year. Of course it was that day.
Dear Kathy,
That definitely falls squarely into the Murphy’s Law Category. Just a robe? Oops. I’m sorry.
This is seriously so delightful how many of us have had similar experiences. Thanks for sharing. You’re my kind of woman!!
Oh you are coming up with so many good topics lately! As I age, I care so little about what others think of me anymore, and I am not sure if I am all that dignified. Hmm – for me being dignified is being able to laugh at oneself, being kind above all else, and living one’s truth. AND not being afraid to make a fool of one’s self from time to time. Stuffiness is often perceived as dignity, but I think stuffiness is just, well, tedious. But then, that goes back to being kind! I love your dog door! Those are the stories I live for as they are such good dinner party fodder! Whenever I get myself in a mess now I think “I can’t wait to share this story!” Oh, and the last time that I lost my dignity was new years’s 2008 when I slid under a chair…but it was funny, except for the hangover the next day, and has become the stuff of legends ’round here….
Have any pictures of you under the chair we can see:)?
Stuffiness is for the birds. Dignity is not the old fashioned version. It’s not stodgy. Holding yourself accountable for your own personal behavior and treatment of others is at its core for me. Kindness is key!!
Forget dignity, you’ve got a delightful story to tell through the years. Great visuals. It’s 3Am and I’m sitting at the kitchen table eatting rye toast. Coating my stomach before I take a strong pain pill and thourouly enjoying your story in the middle of the night!
I sure hope your arm heals quickly! I’m always happy if I can make people feel better or laugh. xoxo