How to Protect Your Health and Sanity Through the Holidays
Every year, I swear I’ll glide through the holidays like a woman who has her life together. The cards will be mailed, the gifts wrapped neatly, and I’ll have a meal plan that doesn’t involve panic-buttering a dinner roll at the last minute. And every year, like clockwork, I glance up from an innocent October pumpkin and find myself hurtling straight into December chaos.
The holidays can be lovely, but they can also test every ounce of health and sanity we have left. There are emotions, obligations, expectations… and the creeping realization that my nervous system apparently has limits. If I don’t pace myself, things unravel faster than a bargain-bin sweater.
I’m not pretending to have this all figured out, but here are a few things I’m trying that just might help you
1. Prioritize Rest to Stay Healthy During the Holidays
Sleep isn’t a luxury. It’s medicine. Between later nights, travel, and too much sugar, it’s easy to find yourself running on fumes. Try to keep your routine as close to normal as possible. I’ve started dimming the lights an hour before bed and avoiding my phone, which is harder than it sounds. A cool bedroom, a weighted blanket, and a magnesium supplement have become my survival kit.
If you’re struggling to sleep well, you might like How to Sleep Better in Your 50s and 60s.
2. Make Peace with Saying No
The word “no” is not rude, and it’s a complete sentence. Saying no to things is often a form of self-preservation. I used to feel guilty turning things down, whether it was a party, a cookie exchange, or a volunteer opportunity, but I’ve realized no one actually keeps score. Do what fills you up, not what drains you. If anyone protests, just say you’re prioritizing your mental bandwidth. It works like a charm.
3. Nourish Yourself (Even Between Cookies)
There’s a lot of temptation this time of year, and I’m not one to turn down a good cheese board. But I do make a point of having at least one meal a day that didn’t come wrapped in foil or covered in powdered sugar. Add something green to your plate, drink your water before your wine, and don’t skip breakfast. It helps your body cope with all the extras coming our way.
4. Keep Your Body Moving
I’m not talking about running marathons. Just movement. A short walk, gentle stretching, or even a few squats while waiting for the kettle to boil keeps the blood flowing and the joints happy. I’ve found that regular walks not only help my energy but also make me more patient when everyone’s talking at once, which in my house, is all the time.
If you need a little inspiration to get moving, take a look at Athleta Favorites for Women Over 50 and 60. Their pieces are comfortable, flattering, and perfect for the kind of movement that fits real life.
5. Take a Real Break from the Hustle
Carve out an evening or an afternoon just for yourself. No errands, no multitasking. Light a candle, light the fireplace, watch something that makes you laugh, or simply sit with a cup of tea and stare at the twinkle lights. Quiet is wildly underrated, especially this time of year.
A little solitude does wonders for restoring your sense of humor and perspective.
6. Keep Your Expectations (and Your To-Do List) Realistic
There’s a point where making things nice turns into making yourself miserable. I’ve learned to aim for good enough. The napkins don’t have to match, the pie can come from the bakery, and no one remembers whether the table runner was ironed. What people remember is how they felt around you, so aim for calm and present, not perfect.
7. Focus on Connection, Not Performance
Somewhere along the way, the holidays became a production. But the older I get, the more I crave simple connection, good conversation, genuine laughter, and time with the people who matter most. That’s what fills you up and helps you stay grounded long after the decorations are put away.
8. Be Gentle with Yourself
The holidays can bring up a lot of emotions. Memories of people we miss, traditions that have changed, or the quiet realization that life looks different now. Give yourself grace. You’ve earned the right to move through the season at your own pace and choose what matters most to you.
Simple Things That Help Me Stay Balanced
A few small comforts that make a big difference for me this time of year:
- A cup of calming herbal tea before bed
- Cozy slippers or soft socks that make quiet evenings feel special
- A heating pad for tired muscles after long days
- A soothing candle that signals it’s time to wind down
Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be elaborate. We’re not talking about spa days or wellness retreats in the mountains. Sometimes it’s as simple as noticing the tiny things that help your shoulders drop and your whole body exhale.
Maybe it’s five minutes with a warm mug before the house wakes up. Maybe it’s switching into softer clothes the minute you walk through the door. Or lighting a candle that signals you’re officially off duty for the night. These little resets don’t fix everything, but they remind your nervous system that you’re safe, supported, and allowed to slow down.
And honestly, at this time of year, that reminder is worth its weight in gold.
If you’re craving more comfort this season, you might enjoy Simple Pleasures For The Woman Who Loves Being At Home, or The Best Pajamas for Women Over 50. They are full of cozy favorites that make slowing down feel a little easier.
How are you planning to stay calm as the holidays approach? I’d love to hear your tips.
Thanks for this post! As I age I realize that everything for the holidays does not need to be perfect, but the importance is time with loved ones. I still do many of our traditions but if we can’t it’s okay. Best to relax and enjoy rather than force something just because “it’s always what we do.” Holidays should be enjoyed not stressed over!
I needed this today! In fact, I probably need to read it every day between now and Christmas!
“Or lighting a candle that signals you’re officially off duty for the night.” Reading this made me realize I do the same thing! Dinner’s made and eaten, dishes cleaned, and then I’m ready to shutdown. Thanks for all your fabulous posts!
Thymes has a wonderful frasier fir scent that comes in a petite diffuser form ( and also as candles). It is very attractive too.
A perfect post as we begin to head into the hustle and bustle od the holidays. You have some great suggestions. I am going to look into magnesium supplements, seems like something I may benefit from.
I have stopped so many things over the past ten years. I no longer send out forty Christmas cards with hand written notes, I no longer put up a tree instead I decorate my mantel, console, etc. It saves finding the perfect tree on the lot, putting it up, stringing the lights, then boxes of balls. I stopped buying gifts for the grandkids once they reached their teens, instead I send money which they appreciate more than an unwanted gramma gift. I also stopped traveling across the country to spend Christmas with my kids and their families every year. Instead, I go every third year. FaceTime is wonderful and I feel like I’m there without the hassle of air travel. I stopped hosting big Christmas parties, dinner parties and keep it at happy hours with different sets of friends. Making appetizers and serving drinks amongst much chatter and laughter is more relaxing. So, I no longer feel stressed out at a time of year when we should be enjoying.
Wonderful!
I find that our children are slowly taking over some of the holiday hosting as it is too much with our small house and us being in our late 60s. Plus donating the big tree, eliminating Xmas cards, and cutting out most of the gifts. With so many grandchildren, it got to be overwhelming and not particularly appreciated with all the effort put forth. This generation seems to already have so much. Not to sound Scrooge-like, but just keeping everything simpler and allowing time to enjoy the true meaning of Christmas has made everything easier.
Hello,
I’m new to this blog and I absolutely love it! You’re content is great, and the advice is something I needed to hear. Especially, about taking care of yourself through the holidays. Taking magnesium has always helped me, it had helped me through out the years. I love that you care about other people so much that you put all of your ideas, advice, and your knowledge about so many things, that you put it out there for people like me that need to hear it. I’m grateful I came across your blog, because it has definitely helped me. I’m 55 and I’ve realized that life is to short, let all of enjoy the”simple things in life” I started doing this when I lost my best friend, my companion, my everything and I was just without him. After 25 years of us doing everything together, he passed suddenly, so now I’m out here trying to live life again by myself. Your blog reminded me that self care is the best care. For the first time in my life, I’m finding that it’s the little things that spark my joy these days. The only advice I have is something someone told me long ago is ” Don’t let anyone steal your inner Joy” especially at the holidays that is what the season is all about, being with the people that bring you joy. You are definitely an inspiration to me. I am grateful.
I’m so glad you’ve joined us Suzanne! I’m very sorry to hear about your best friend. That’s particularly hard this time of year.
Thank you Jennifer, I also love your style advice!
What valuable tips and reminders! Thank you. Growing up Christmas Eve was at one of my grandmothers’ homes, and dinner was always cocktail buffet style with my mom and the aunts bringing dishes to share. When I was about 63–I’m 79 now–I switched to this from a seated dinner. SO much easier and truly more fun.
But my HUGE make-it-easier switch is for this Thanksgiving. There will only be five of us in town this year, as opposed to the usual 15, and I happened to read about a woman and her daughter who were on their own for Canadian Thanksgiving and decided they would only have their favorite parts for dinner … the pies. So my daughter and I decided to skip most of the cooking and skip the expensive dressing up and eating out. We are having turkey pot pie, pumpkin cheese cake, chocolate pecan pie, spinach-artichoke salad, ambrosia, and a charcuterie board. After dinner we’re watching “Die Hard” and settle once and for all: Is this a Christmas movie? Change is good! As is staying focused on the parts of the holidays we love and making them fit the ages and stages of our lives.
Let us know what you decide about Die Hard. Your plans sound great!
Annie, I know you said you don’t do candles, but I love the Thymes Frasier Fir candles. Maybe you could use the candle on a candle warmer. Thymes may also have the fragrance in other products you may like. Happy and peaceful holidays!
Lots of good suggestions. Over the years I’ve gradually cut back on my holiday obligations. My siblings transitioned from “gifts for all” to drawing names to cards only. At our age its a relief. I have food gifts delivered to my husband’s siblings. So other than for my husband I have only a few people to shop for and I’m always finished before Thanksgiving. Cards and packages go out early. A few years ago we opted for a smaller pre-lit tree. I love decorating and give myself time to make it enjoyable rather than a task. No more lavish dinner parties. Inviting a few friends for snacks & drinks is a lot more enjoyable for the hostess now.
Smaller trees are such a good idea!
I loved “no is a complete sentence” and yet, I’ve had push back when I’ve declined, making me feel pressured to provide an explanation…as in person will just not let it go. I find it hard to respond politely. I get tongue tied, kinda sputter. How do you and others here handle these situations?
Thanks for a really helpful post!
“No, sorry, that just won’t work for me right now” or something similar. It takes practice, but hold your ground and they gradually give up…ask me how I know.
Great blog reminders! Thank you, thank you!
So thankful for you and your perspective on life!
Thank you for reminding us to take care of ourselves 😌
Thanks for the great tips and inspiration today. We try to keep the holiday gatherings simple and casual. Gave up trying to gift everyone in the family! It’s gotten to be too many and we all have everything we need anyway. Sharing a meal, visiting, and playing a crazy gift exchange game is the ticket to relieving my stress and enjoying the moments!
We have been travelling to spend time at Christmas with family that work over the holidays. This has meant packing up the senior dog who does not like to travel, staying in a dog-friendly hotel and bringing along a cooler filled with frozen Christmas dinners that I prepared in advance. We’d pick up a pre-ordered Christmas Eve meal at a restaurant in their city. This year I realized that I don’t have the energy to take all this on. We will order a Christmas Eve meal for them to pick up when they get off work. We will miss them. It will be different.
Change can be so hard
Jennifer, we just had some beloved company leave after a visit and after the initial clean up, I came in to read your blog. When you mentioned something to make your “shoulders drop” I realized how tense my body was and immediately dropped my shoulders from my ears! See how your ideas bring immediate relief! Thank you for your great ideas!
All excellent suggestions!! I love the idea of lighting a candle as a sign that relaxation is underway. Thank you!!
Love all your posts Jennifer. Can you please comment on the shoes you are wearing while walking on the treadmill. They appear to be exactly what I’m looking for! Thx.
They are Addidas. I’ve had them for years!
Thank you for reminding us to be mindful of what we are doing and how much we can do without crashing! I host Thanksgiving. I’ll have around 15 guests. Every year I make a list of what I plan to serve that day. It never fails that I forgot to put out at least one thing! Oh well! No biggie! A few years ago, a decision was made that we would stop buying gifts Christmas for adults and only buy for the children. This decision took a lot of pressure off everyone.
Happy holidays to you, Jennifer, and all those who are part of your blog family!
Pace yourself, Nancy. Happy Holidays
Traditions are the most important part of the holidays for our family. We put out luminaries, have home made lasagna dinner, open small gifts and walk among the luminaries after dinner. We have done this every year since the grandkids were born, and they cherish the memories. Thanksgiving dinner mega cooks are over for me thank goodness!
Hi Jennifer, we have switched to an artificial tree and I use the Thymes Frazier Fir products to give the pine smell without smelling like a household disinfectant. They aren’t cheap, but very nice.
Our kids are all coming from out of town and my husband, who is usually fine with me doing all the planning, insisted we order the Thanksgiving dinner from a local restaurant we love. I felt guilty I wouldn’t be cooking the old standbys; isn’t that what moms do? But my back has been horrible, and he reminded me I’m not the mom… I’m the grandma, and if I put my back out the visit will not be fun. I think a new tradition has been born!
I’ll have to look for that Thymes Fir…so many of you ladies swear by it!
Thanks Jo H!! So many fragrances just smell like chemicals. Annie
Hi Jennifer and the WSL community. I am looking for some advice. I am considering a fake small tree this year. However, the thing I will miss the most is the smell of a fresh Christmas tree. Any gentle pine/fir scents you can recommend? I don’t use candles. You ladies always know the best things! Cheers and here is to a happy calm and joyous holiday season!
I would love to know this too ladies!
Buy some fresh pine boughs at the garden centre and put them in a vase of water. You will need to add or change the water every few days, but the boughs and scent should last a few weeks, just like a real tree. Happy Holidays.
That’s a great idea, I will do that.
I like Thymes candles and diffusers – my 21 year old grandson even asked for one for his first apartment! Not sure if this is a Canadian or US brand, but they have a good website.
A diffuser is wonderful! I love Thymes Frasier Fir. They also make a wonderful room spray.
I don’t have ideas for candles or sprays( most have some toxic elements) but have you thought about some real pine sprays to tuck in arangements or on windowsills,mantels,etc? Cuttings from your yard or even from your local Lowes or Home Depot can give that fresh pine scent. Mist w water to stay fresh.
Essential oils can help with providing that fir tree smell. Take a look a Revive essential oils. You can find them by googling that name. Then order a diffuser on Amazon ( they are easy to use). Follow its instructions and use something like Revive’s Christmas Tree essential oil. Only $16. You can even buy a diffuser off of their site. Hope this helps!
Annie, when we switched to an artificial tree (love the pre-lighted ones!) I would still go to a Christmas tree farm and get a few branches to decorate the mantel or table. Many times they just give them away. Just be sure to wrap the ends with tape or have something under them to catch any sap.
Great idea!!
I would recommend using some essential oils in a diffuser, to get the lovely scent of pine in your home–without the toxic fumes. A few suggestions would be “Frasier Fir” Diffuser Oil by Thymes or “Balsam Fir” by Simply Earth.
Annie, Thymes makes a Frasier fir room spray and they also have an oil diffusers. Thymes products truly smell like there is a real tree in house. Good luck.
Purchase a diffuser (the kind you fill with about half a cup of water). To this water you will put several drops of Thymes Frasier Fir refresher oil (can be purchased on Amazon – this is the best). The diffuser probably has a timer on it – turn it on and enjoy.
Christmas in my neck of the woods is in the middle of summer and the long school holidays. This has meant not only getting all the Christmas routines covered but also getting ready to go on holiday – camping or hiking when our family was still around. Now they are grown up with families of their own so this year we are off to spend the festive season with our daughter and her family and I just have to pack a case and turn up. No doubt I will be roped into helping but I don’t have to think or make decisions. Plus I don’t have to have an excuse for the odd nana nap! Bliss!
What a thoughtful and useful post! I especially like “…no one remembers whether the table runner was ironed. What people remember is how they felt around you, so aim for calm and present, not perfect.” The folks I long to be with are the ones who are interesting and interested (in us).
Good Morning Jennifer: This article is full of so many pieces of good advice. Thank you!
Have a peaceful day!
Thank You🕯️
This tips are so important to maintain sanity for sure. I’ve learned to cut back on things that make me nervous, like hosting huge family sit down dinners. Now we just do a buffet and everyone brings something. I don’t even really set a time. It eases stress on everyone. My son has a new house now and is taking over most of the holidays and I love it !!!
Awesome!
What great insight! The thing that overwhelms me is that every single group you’re in has to have a holiday something and the schedule just gets packed. It’s easy to get run down. I am much better at saying no these days.
Agreed! I’ve been skipping plenty
Saying “NO” and keep your expectations realistic. Thanks for this
Hi Jennifer
All of your suggestions when thought about it. are completely understandable.
Go forth and absolutely what feels right for you.
Have a happy day❤️
XO Pat
I start my Christmas plans in early October, I make my Christmas cake (which gets fed weekly) and start my lists, planning the menu, table settings, Christmas gifts – organisation is the key. By the 1st December, the tree is up, food ordered, gifts bought and wrapped. I love Christmas and feel most relaxed when I run it as a logistics Officer in the military. If I feel a bit stressed, I do an hour of laps in my pool. Come Boxing Day, I collapse in a heap with a cup of tea and my booze laden Christmas cake.
Sounds amazing Susan!
I think being in the RAAF for quite some time left its mark. Have a lovely Thanksgiving with your family before the onslaught of Christmas
You always have the BEST advice and KISS!
Xo