The Anatomy of an Elegant Dinner Party
Hosting a sit down, elegant dinner party seems to be getting tossed aside for more casual affairs these days.
Don’t get me wrong. I love block parties where you bring your own main course to grill, plus a side dish to share. And I’m certainly no stranger to the pot luck, group effort. They’re fun and remove major stress from the hostess.
But what I really love to give are lingering dinner parties, proceeded by cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. Then followed by Cognac, dessert and espresso.
Guests usually ask what they can bring and my answer is “a smile”. If I’m orchestrating a dinner party, and that’s what I’m doing, I want control over the food, presentation and atmosphere.
I buy my flowers 2 days in advance, so they are open and full for the dinner.
I plan the menu several days in advance and always try to choose items that will allow me to spend time with my guests, not slaving in the kitchen.
With everything ready in advance, I have plenty of time to dress and be relaxed when guests start arriving.
I make sure my napkins and tablecloths are clean and ironed.
If the silverware is tarnished, it get a good polishing.
I set the table the day before the party.
It’s not a good idea to put highly fragrant flowers on the dinner table. They compete with the smell of your food and affect the taste.
My husband must have missed the only white flower memo so the pink Tulips he bought ended up in the powder room.
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I put new candles in our candelabras and fresh, 8-hour votives scattered on mantle, window ledges and tables.
I’m quirky about new candles. I always light them for a quick moment, then blow out, before placing them about. I dislike the barren look of unburmed candle wick, which just looks sad to me. It reminds me of people who have good things they save for later, then later never comes.
Have you noticed how many times you’ve sat at a dinner table with brand new, unlit candles and they remain that way for the entire meal? Why have them if you’re not going to use them?
We started with cocktails and appetizers in the living room.
Then we moved into the dining room after I’d put the salads on the table.
Salad and dressing were prepared and waiting, in the refrigerator, to toss. I also had the fish, vegetables and other dishes read to go in the oven before they arrived. Dessert and its required plates were on the side table, ready to be served.
I looked over my shoulder during dinner to make sure I wasn’t dripping wax down the wall and spotted this reflection in my mirror.
We had dessert in the living room, as the candles burned low.
Music is crucial. I prefer instrumental over words. For these type of dinners I keep the volume medium-low as people arrive. Later I turn it quite low as the evening progresses. It’s strictly for atmosphere, not karaoke! I hate having to shout over music to be heard.
FOOTNOTE: An hour before the guests were due, my husband decided to go buy an outdoor fireplace. It came in a box in a million parts which he proceeded to spread all over the patio and start to assemble. If I hadn’t had everything organized, I probably would have flipped out. But I did, so calmly went upstairs to dress, leaving him to the gazillion bolts and parts, pliers and screw drivers.
Do you give dinner parties?
This is so lovely. And I’m so glad to see I’m not the only one who still owns and polishes real silver. See, we have way too much in common.
Absolutely gorgeous table! It sounds like you have it down to a science! Planning ahead sure does help to make things run smoothly. I entertain often, but seldom have fancy dinner parties. Love using pretty dishes, but generally a mixture. Hopped over from Trinas. Thanks for joining Creating Christmas.
hugs,
Jan
There is nothing I love more than entertaining at home. Thank you for pointing out that lilies and such do not belong on the dinner table. As an event planner for years, I always grimace a little when I see them as part of the centerpiece. Also, I love that you used sundae glasses for your centerpieces. Well done!
Hi Jennifer,
You have a beautiful home, your china is amazing. The room and feel seems elegant but warm and welcoming as well. Too funny about the last minute project by your husband. They definitely beat to their own drum most of the time! Sometimes they don’t seem to realize that they are risking not being in the orchestra at all. xx Nancy
Inspirational! I am planning an Italian dinner party tonight and I hope it turns out to be as nice as this. You definitely have the elegant touch, ma chere.
A BEAUTIFUL dinner HAD BY ALL I would say……………..
Perhaps, WE can make this come back in FASHION!!!Shall WE make this our personal goal?!!
Just stopping by again to say how much I enjoyed this post. You have a true gift for stylish entertaining Jen. You set the gold standard for making guests feel welcomed. I’m having such fun hosting the Lifestyle LinkUp with you today.
Cheers to you for being such fun to collaborate with today!
xx
Such good advice I am going to save this and grab it the next time I plan a dinner party. My favorite part is that of your husband’s purchase. My husband always goes and weed eats at the barn (which is not even remotely visible from the house) the day of…aren’t men funny!!
Yes….they are! I remember my husband redoing a flower pot on our front steps and got distracted. As I went to walk the guests out-after the party-I saw the dumped over pot and dirt pile. It had been there to greet each and every one of them….;) xx
It looks like a lovely party. My mother taught me that lighting the candle to burn the wick was a signal of generosity–the candles were meant to be used and not just for “show.” I did leave candles lit once while we were in the living room with coffee and a spark hit some napkins and started a nice little bonfire. Fortunately, the scorch marks were just another sign of age on an old Quebec table. You might want to get some bobeche for the sconces to catch drips.
This all looks and sounds divine. I do give dinner parties, but less and less frequently. It’s harder and harder to organize, what with people’s food intolerances, veganism, paleo lifestyle, babysitting commitments, need to go to the beach/country house…
I must say, that mirror is magnifique!
Everything looks perfectly perfect!! Love your advice and especially the importance of planning ahead. A dinner party for four or twenty is always work, but I think it’s so memorable for everyone when it’s done right, and even if it’s done a little wrong, no one cares, do they…I know the low flowers are better, but many times I can’t resist something big just because I want the photo op…Cracking up that your husband bought the fireplace…but glad it all worked out!
Oh Jen, I caught this post at work and am coming late to the ‘party’ for commenting. It’s been fun to read the comments here on the fine art of dinner parties. Your flowers are exquisite!! I’ve already pinned some of your gorgeous images. I do the same with candles (always a quick light before an event) and beautiful, but unscented, flowers for the table. Your menu, your courses, music and the whole vibe sounds like the perfect evening. Lucky guests! Why, oh why, am I not your neighbor??? Fab post!
Great chat! Happy weekend girlfriend.
xx, Heather
Hi —
First, I love the more-recent photo of you – it’s really lovely!
Second, we do give dinner parties. Not so much at home anymore, but at restaurants where a group of us have found it much easier to work with what a particular restaurant may have in the way of china, flatware, et al. Once in a while we’ll supplement things with our own china, glassware, chargers or flatware, but it’s not a frequent happening.
One of the best parts is that we’re not actually hosting, so it’s not a major expense though someone always pays for the floral arrangements and incidentals if they’re used. It also takes a lot of pressure off getting everything done as the restaurant takes care of many details AND clean-up is zilch!
We are a rather tight-knit community with many really good restaurants (both inexpensive and wildly over-the-top expensive) and most nowadays even have cocktail lounges where we can sit and settle into the evening with great friends! Novel? Perhaps, but it suits our “decorating” needs whether formal or informal and everyone has an awesome time. We just did this at a local hotel (who knew) where we were able to watch the sunset, lights come on and beautiful ocean wash in as night took over. The “blue light” time was a very wonderful experience for the 6 of us (sometimes we have up to 12).
Glad to have discovered your blog and really enjoy it! MMR