Monday Musing on Style and Balance
I turned the corner in the supermarket on Saturday and stopped my cart short. Not a dramatic “clean up in aisle five” kind of stop, but a quiet double-take.
A woman about my age was coming through the produce section, and she looked amazing! She was wearing subtle barrel-leg jeans cuffed once at the ankle, bright red sneakers, and a white blouse with colorful embroidery that picked up the red in her shoes. Throw in some large, square black glasses, small red earrings, and the whole thing just worked.
The proportions were spot on, the colors had a little spark, and she had this upbeat energy that wasn’t loud, just… right. I told her she looked fabulous because when someone hits it out of the park like that while buying lemons, it’s a crime not to say so.
But as I kept walking, my stylist brain did what it always does. It started analyzing.
I looked down at my own outfit… my usual white sweater, beige-and-white pants, and soft gray clogs, and tried to mentally swap clothes with her. Would I feel “fun” in the red sneakers and the embroidery, or would I feel like I’d borrowed someone else’s personality for the afternoon?
That question has been rattling around in my head ever since.
We talk a lot about proportions and silhouettes, but there’s a layer to style that’s harder to define. It’s the emotional comfort of what we’re expressing. Some women are completely at ease in a look that reads playful and a little perky. On them, it doesn’t look like they’re trying to be cheerful…they simply are.
I’m still chewing on whether our comfort level is fixed, or if we just stay in our lane because the pavement is familiar?
Could some of the looks we admire on other women actually fit in our own style, if we just gave ourselves permission to nudge the dial a notch? I’m not talking about a total identity shift. I’m talking about a more spirited earring or a shoe that isn’t beige.
Then again, maybe the point was just to appreciate a woman who knew exactly who she was while buying her groceries. She certainly made my errands more interesting.
The Power of a Touch
Let’s be honest..some women wear red, and it looks like it was woven into their DNA. They put on a crimson sweater or a scarlet blazer, and they don’t just look “nice”…they look like they’ve finally turned the lights on. It’s natural, it’s effortless, and it doesn’t wear them.
Then there are the rest of us.
I’ve always been a bit red-shy. In my world of calming blues and neutrals, a bold red can feel less like a “pop of color” and more like someone just started shouting in a library. It’s jarring. To me.
I do own and love these red loafers and this red-and-white striped top, but I’ve never worn them together.
Seeing that woman in the supermarket reminded me that red isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s all about how it fits your personality and coloring.
The “Natural” Red-Wearer
These are the women who thrive on high energy and don’t mind being the focal point of a room. You have the presence to match the saturation of the color. On you, a full red look doesn’t look like a costume…it looks like a signature.
The “Reluctant” Red-Wearer
This is where I usually live. We appreciate the spark of red on others, but we want to keep it at arm’s length. It’s about knowing that a little goes a very long way.
I’m much more comfortable with an accessory than a red sweater or jacket. I prefer, and look best in, a raspberry with a blue undertone and a lower intensity that doesn’t “shout”. By keeping the color away from my face, I’m technically wearing the color, but I’m controlling the dosage.
FUN RED HANDBAGS
Balancing Act
While we’re talking about the balance of an outfit, let’s talk about the balance of our bodies. It’s one of those things we take for granted until we feel it slipping. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much our confidence relies on feeling steady on our feet.
If you’re feeling a bit less than “solid” these days, don’t wait for a stumble to do something about it because falling can be a disaster with bone density issues.
I’ve started making it a point to practice standing on one leg whenever I’m near a counter or a sturdy ledge. Do it while you’re brushing your teeth or waiting for the kettle to boil, just keep that ledge nearby for a quick grab if you wobble. The more often I do it the more my balance improves.
You can look for balance classes at your local gym or community center and even find them on YouTube. And if you want to get serious, Tai Chi and Yoga are the gold standard here. They aren’t just for flexibility, they’re for core strength and proprioception, which is just a fancy way of saying “knowing where your feet are.”
Staying upright and moving with confidence is the best accessory we have. Whether you’re navigating a busy sidewalk or just the produce aisle, a strong foundation makes everything look better.
I’m curious, ladies, have you ever spotted someone and thought, “Could I pull that off?” Or did you know immediately it was a “great on her, but not for me” situation?
Thanks for reading, and be sure to wear what makes you feel confident.
What was the link for the knit blazer (I think it was J Crew, but can’t find it there) you showed recently in pale grey?
I’m not sure. Where did you see it? What post?
This column was so interesting! Thank you Jennifer! Red has always been a color I like wearing (due to getting compliments) whether solid in pants, sweaters, shawls, blazers, shoes, lipstick, or in prints on scarves, tops, etc. Getting noticed never even occurred to me- just liked the color, thought my dark hair and skin tone paired well. Even wore red silk suit for sons’ Bar Mitzvah and recently long red dress for son’s wedding (requested by bride for the moms)! Your red striped tee (which doesn’t shout RED) with navy blazer, jeans, and red loafers or sneakers would look great together! But it is true that emotions play a part in how you dress, and not everyone would feed comfortable wearing “red”. Also, emotions fluctuate day to day too! Most days my brain doesns’t want to put together any “look” just for supermarket but I don’t look sloppy either. This column does make me think though that looking “fashionable” more often as opposed to just neat could give us an emotional boost! Thank you!
I love to wear red as long as it is in moderation. I try to balance it out with a muted tone in the rest of my outfit. It reminds me of wearing leopard print. I wouldn’t wear it head to toe, but it peps up an outfit when it is in moderation.
I think Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfinger brands offer a pop of red as a classic look that leans towards casual. I found a few pieces worth well for me in all seasons.
I so appreciated this post. I like red and it’s a good color for me, now I need to incorporate it more in my wardrobe.
Before I even started to read your post today, I saw the picture and thought how great you looked with the red shoes. Everyone has a comfort zone, and it’s also nice to try a little move into something different. I love red and usually wear it sparingly, but I got a great red dress last year and wore it to an event where most everyone was wearing neutrals. I felt confident in it and got so many compliments. Fun! Talbots is known for its own red, usually called “Red Pop”. I always look for the items in that color in each of their new collections. It’s a good true red.
Hi Jennifer, I love your blog but as a “Winter” I don’t see many of the colors that I can wear. I’ll admit that I get tired of seeing all of the white, beige, blue and various shades of denim in your posts. But I enjoy your sense of humor and helpful hints on clothing skincare, etc!
Sorry my style and colors bore you
I was once told that we each have a flamboyance quotient and it really is true. What I find is that some days my quotient is very low and other days it’s high. Just depends on whether or not I feel like being noticed.
I like that perspective.
I do love red and have some tops (white and red stripes) and I would buy red shoes in an instant if I could find a cute pair. Now on the other hand, I just don’t get barrel jeans. I’m sure it has something to do with my 5’2” height and slightly large thighs. I think I would look ridiculous! And honestly, I think even some of the skinny models look ridiculous!! Always love your information Jennifer!! Thank you!
I agree about barrel jeans! Everyone looks bow legged in them.
I can wear a cranberry red which is blue based, but not the tomato or orangy red. It is very difficult to find cranberry. I did buy a cranberry red blouse with rhinestone buttons from Chicos before Christmas. I also have a great red handbag. I never wear bright colored pants. I don’t want to draw attention to my hips or waist which I feel are my flaws.
Before I read this I thought your picture is fabulous, topped off by the red loafers you look as good as the “lemon lady”, anyday. Maybe as you say, we get too comfortable and forget the possibilities; at 78, curiosity is living, mistakes will happen but this is life!
I think you need to dress in what makes you feel like “you.” I love color, and as a “winter,” I look good in a blue-based red. Wearing red makes me feel more energetic. I went to a birthday party for my 3-year-old great-grandson yesterday. The party was in a local park, so I wore lightweight black joggers, a red top, red earrings, and black flip flops. It was almost 80, so I didn’t need my black sweater until the sun went down.
Fabulous!
I love red on other people and in some of my home decor (appliances, ticking stripe soft goods) but not on myself other than on my feet, my lips and my nails! No red cars either.
I have never fully understood the color thing. I don’t get the “seasons” thing and view it as more rigid rules than something useful. There are colors I like and wear. There are colors I don’t like and avoid. Red is probably my favorite color. There is a lot of it in my wardrobe. I have a peculiar loathing of purple which I never wear. Red makes me happy. Purple makes me feel icky. It seems a shame to live by a bunch of color rules because that is so limiting.
That’s exactly what I thought seeing you in the black t-shirt with navy blazer. Made me stop and wonder why I’d never tried that! The red shoes are a great finish.
What a great story to tell and I just LOVE how you invited her to have coffee!
Always enjoy following your style and the reasoning behind it
Sitting at my office in my RED cable knit sweater with a little bit of white collar showing at the top. Black denim wide leg trouser jeans. I am wearing black loafers but I wish I had put in my red booties. I have many colours that are too much for me but red and I are best friends. As you suggest it’s all about wearing what feels right and good to us. I have been teased so much that I now claim the statement, for me red is a neutral. I admire people in beige monochromatic outfits but I struggle to pull off that look and feel costumey when I do. I had a LBD event last week. Topped it with bright and cheery colourful necklace. Needed to add a little bit of me. Thanks for all you do especially when you ask us to think like you did today.
Oh goodness, I’m just the opposite! I See a terrific look on someone else and can’t wait to try it! I made most of my clothes in high school and thrived on putting outfits together and making sure no one else had what I had. I’ve done the same with my home decor and judging by the compliments, I’m doing okay. I do struggle to pull off that casual, sort of plain Jane look. I end up looking frumpy and it’s not a good look for me.
Put me in the reluctant red wearer category. I have flannel buffalo plaid pajama bottoms and wear a red tee with them. I look ten years older and slightly ill when I catch myself in a mirror. Black yellow or green do the same thing. So they are a big no in my closet. I did go on Quince and bought that same sweater only in the pale pink. This is my break out color from blues, greys and neutrals. I always admire women in dresses. I look like a walking tent in a dress as I’m petite at 5’1” tall and a little bit busty.
I thought about your question for a while. My conclusion, for me, is to wear what I like. I AM a red wearer, not because it’s “showy” or attracts attention, but because I like it. (a warmer red for me). But then, I always wear what I like. I take advice from you and other writings as far as what is “trendy” at the time, but ultimately, at 71, I wear whatever feels good to me on any given day. I still have many items in my closet from 10 years ago. I know sometimes people look at me and say “oh, I would/could never wear that, but that doesn’t bother me in the slightest. And, when I see a woman out and about and she looks good even if it is not my style, I too make a point of telling her. The average woman doesn’t get near the number of compliments she should. I am not jealous or intimidated by her, I applaud her. If you feel good in something, make yourself happy and wear it. Life is just too short. As always, I enjoyed your “musings” today, have a wonderful week.
Thanks Jacquie
Try this too for osteoporosis. I’d be careful with your foot tho. But you dont have to do this hard either. There is a woman who is sharing a program called Brick House Bones on Youtube.
Does stomping your feet help with osteoporosis?
This may sound counterintuitive, but your bones need to experience impact and force to stay strong. According to a scientific rule called Wolff’s Law, bones respond to force by building more bone to adapt to it. (2) That means applying some force through your bones, like walking or stomping, promotes bone growth.
I heard that too which is why hopping up and down is supposed to be so good
Lol I would love to see a pic of you in both your blouse and your red shoes together. It might work!
Can’t help but think of a more extreme example, which is Pru Leith of the Great British Baking Show. She’s 86 years old and can still get away with a very bold color scheme! But between her hairdo and her confident personality, somehow she pulls it off!
Love those red Vans, but doubt they’d work for my problem feet. Like you. I tend to shy away from red but would like it in small doses. This question is a little off topic, but yesterday you mentioned buying a pair of Josef Seibel sandals. Your foot issue sounds similar to mine and I’m wondering how they fit? I’ve never tried that brand but need something that doesn’t bend yet has a comfortable sole. There’s also a bunion issue to consider, so always thinking about width.
They fit really well and have enough width for me to put a metatarsal pad under the ball of my foot.
I love red shoes with an otherwise neutral outfit! Like you, I’m not comfortable when red is wearing me.
Just a note about yoga – many of the poses are not safe for those with osteopenia/osteoporosis as the risk of compression fractures increases with twisting and forward arching or “crunching” exercises. Check into Margaret Martin’s Melioguide resources to understand the bone issues and for safe yoga routine videos. Or look for “bone friendly” yoga classes.
Thank you!
The last time you wrote about red, I responded because I was dressed in head to ankle red (with gold shoes). Well, today I’m dressed in head to toe red and will add a red fedora when I head out. I feel like Shari and I are kindred spirits. When I was a toddler, my mother dressed me in red rompers, easy to spot among the baby blue and baby pink. When I was seven, my favorite outfit was black stirrup pants with a red and black sweater. I interviewed for my big job in a red skirted suit (but with black heels). I think red is preordained. I never really thought about it before reading your column!
I enjoy reading your blog and checking out your recommendations even though we have different styles. Like you, I am blond with blue eyes, but I am 5”8”, 145 lbs, with narrow hips and an athletic build.
I like wearing flowing pants with form fitting tops, and I love dresses. If I’m very casual or exercising , I wear Athleta sportswear. I rarely wear jeans; but when I do, I wear a colorful top.
Also, like you, I have had foot problems and have had two surgeries which removed the bunions and added big toe joint replacements. The surgery was relatively painless for me. I also have Morton’s second toes, which I must use silicone straighteners to stop the toes from curling. Foot problems are a pain, and I enjoy checking out the shoes you recommend.
Thank you for being an inspiration for senior women, since some feel that fashion is a thing of their past. Women must support other women, and you are most certainly doing that.
Dianne
Thanks for being here Dianne. I can now add Mortons neuromas to the foot issues. Sheesh, it’s a juggling act these days.
Didn’t you wear a red sundress? I remember it looking gorgeous on you! I think it may have been your daughter’s!
It was her jumpsuit! Yes it was fun to wear.
I love wearing red. I would probably wear red shoes with your striped shirt. I think I have been toning it down lately and mostly wearing neutrals. I guess it’s a getting older thing. Speaking of balance we have a trainer who works with seniors and he always gives us some balance exercises. You don’t realize how important this is as we age. Fear of falling is real!
Ha! I bought a pair of those red Vans sneakers a couple years ago to wear with a variety of spring/dummer outfits. Yes to wearing them with a red top. Hit some red tees and thinking about getting a red linen shirt this year. The sneakers add a dash of fun to jeans and white skirts.
As for improving balance, that move sounds helpful. I’ve been doing barre classes for over 10 years and that’s a key focus that I work to enhance with the moves. It’s worth making the effort to enhance our balance!
Barre is fabulous for balance!
Maybe I am naive even at an older age, but I have always loved bright colors. I have worn red all my life. I have a bright red lipstick that when I wear it, I get more compliments. I never think about whether it fits my personality, I just put it in and go and feel great. I realize we are all different, though. I love to see put together women even at the grocery store. I live in a small lake town, and unfortunately, very casual to the point of sloppy is the norm here. I try to look put together even if casual.
Sadly, sloppy is becoming the norm everywhere and it’s rather depressing. Let’s hold up our heads and dress to please ourselves.
I know what feels right on—I know when something feels like a costume. Or is too precious. Or is coordinated down to the underwear🤣 What I struggle with is that I like to dress up a bit more than many and worry that I’m perceived as showing off or putting on the dog.
I love wearing red, but it has to be the right one. The loafers you show, with the beautiful raspberry red, are a perfect shade. I can’t imagine wearing red pants or jeans, but sweaters or tops always make me feel strong and independent, not invisible.
The barrel-legged jean, on the other hand, are a trend I struggle to embrace. Every model wearing them looks like she just got off an uncomfortably long horseback ride.
I should have asked where she got them because the shape was lovely. I’ll ask her at coffee.
Thank you! I’ve been wondering where to get mature age appropriate barrel leg jeans that are not to extreme.
I’ve been finding quite a few and may try a pair.
While I have as much trouble as the next guy adding a “pop of color” to my outfits, I remember a post you made last year about having to borrow something red from your daughter (was it a shawl??) and you looked FABULOUS! I think sometimes we need to get out of our own heads and stand in our strength by not always playing it safe.
Agreed!
I’m wearing a red top today. I love red! But, I keep it to one piece at a time. If I wear my red jacket, it’s over a column of blue or black.
I’m having feet problems and find my balance is not always good. I must make the standing on one foot exercise a habit. I remember sporadically. Thank you for the reminder. I’ll make a note.
The inspiration outfit you put together and your description of her outfit look and sound great! It seems I rarely see women that I would say look put together. Sadly. I do enjoy putting together outfits but sometimes just running to the grocery store seems not the occasion to fancy up🤪 But, going out to lunch or dinner I’m all in.
Her outfit was extremely casual but thoughtfully put together, which was so delightful to see.
Her outfit does sound exciting with the additions of red. It would have been great if she allowed you to take a picture of her. I hope to hear more about the Lady in Red when you meet up for coffee. I like the red loafers you own. Sometimes we need to put ourselves out there. 🙂
I often copy outfits, that I either see on a blog /influencer site and outfits I see others wearing. My favorite time to get ideas is when I travel and see what other women wear. I also try to compliment others on their outfits that I really like, because I get a confidence boost when I get a compliment.
I love people and outfit watching while traveling. Such great inspiration.
My mother always insisted that redheads don’t wear red, so I never got that red cardigan I desperately wanted in the 8th grade. Even now at 78, the extent of red in my wardrobe is a cashmere sweater set I wear at Christmas time. In truth, it isn’t my best color.
Hi Jennifer, I think your advice & tips are always helpful & kind, so I’m hesitant but feel it’s worth mentioning. To describe wearing red you used the word “shout” twice. Shouting has a negative connotation- I certainly don’t feel or would want to be “ shouting “ when I wear red.( which I do) Perhaps saying the color is more powerful than my comfort level is a less judgmental choice of words. I know you are very aware of how words matter and always thoughtful; thank you again for your insights & advice.
I feel that red “shouts” on me with my soft coloring so I could have worded that more accurately. Apologies if it offended.
I had my colors done, House of Color, about a year ago. And found that I am a true winter. I have quite a lot of the right colors in my closet, but did buy one new item: a bright true red vest from Talbots. It just hit me right, the right shade and the right place. Not a ‘hit em in the face’ red, but it will definitely take whatever I’m wearing up a notch.
How fun!
Good morning (I actually have a different opinion on outfits and theory, I don’t think it is the red alone that stopped you in your tracks it was how well the outfit was put together and she was wearing a modern style of jeans which helps the look you described)……I looked at the picture outfit in red (red vans) that you put together and that is a great look. Then I read your blog and looked at your outfits showcasing some red. This is where I stray….the picture with red vans can be done with with Navy and white together, replace red with teal, turquoise, or pink etc and a modern style of jeans and I think you would get the same outfit effect with another color. It should be a color that you’re comfortable with and like and compliments your skin and hair tone along with the emotional “I feel good in this”. I think a pop of color once in an outfit is a different look than using it like it is in the red van picture. The thing I agree with your story does help one stop and think about an approach to pulling an outfit together (the percentage rules on color I guess). I have a friend that red is one of her favorite colors and it works for her.
It was her outfit cohesion and styling that stopped me in my tracks. It could have been green, pink, or yellow, but the thoughtful placement worked so well. However, the nature of red really made it pop and draw my eye.
1. Team red. Since I was a little girl. Got my Big Law job in a red suit. As a winter it has always worked, but there is a version in every season. 2. Balance is so important. After testing into osteopenia, I qualified for PT in a special program that was covered by my insurance. It was so helpful. We went over weight bearing exercises and form, and balance exercises. 3. Other people’s style is theirs and mine is mine, but I love to borrow ideas and tweaks done my way, which usually means in my colors. I admire someone getting dressed nicely for the grocery..I don’t, often going from the gym. Maybe when I’m retired!
I love the sound of that program!
i have a perfect example. i recently had lunch with an old friend at a nice restaurant. she was wearing an amazon parrot green knit midi dress with details that made me sure it was very high end. she accessorized it with a quirky brooch on the shoulder. she’s a tall woman with commanding presence. i was wearing my favorite look of charcoal grey slacks, a pale grey cashmere sweater and a plaid wool blazer. i was briefly regretful that i would never feel comfortable in a look as striking as hers, no matter how much i admired it on her. i’d have felt like that dress was wearing me, rather than the other way around.
Exactly!! That’s a perfect example. Thanks for sharing Susan. Her outfit sounds striking.
I really like your musings. I had no problem dressing for work; I always knew how I wanted to represent myself and be perceived. Ten years into retirement and I am still working on how I want to present myself. It’s nice to know you go down this path as well.
I think many women do. I actually go down that path often since we moved to such a casual area.
Years ago I got a manicure with red polish. When I came home my youngest daughter who was only about 6 at the time started to cry. She didn’t like my nail polish because it wasn’t “mommy.” Never did it again. Although I do have some red in my wardrobe, it’s not much because I’m not that comfortable wearing too much of it.
Fascinating!
I have loved wearing red my whole life. I think using red as a pop of color says I care about my self. As I age I have used it less and less think staying in my lane is age appropriate. But with your blog today, I think I might go out looking for a pop of color again. Thank you.
Please do! I don’t believe in “age appropriate” colors. Wear what you love.
I am a new arrival to your posts, and I so identified with this one, loving all over bold colour on others but generally a lover of blue, white, bright or gentle green , and bright pink . However , in Gran Canaria on holiday, I fell in love with a pair of bright multicoloured loafers, bought them , and got so much fun from them every time I wore them. They got many appreciative comments, but unfortunately didn’t last terribly long.
However now the Scottish sun has made a Spring appearance I look forward to bright scarves or bags making a pop of colour on my outfits.
Welcome Heather!
Both of my parents were lovers of red so of course I am too. I don’t think there is any clothing that I don’t have at least 1 of them in red, including red shoes. Red just makes me feel good. I also realize that red is not for everyone. This world would be pretty boring if we all liked and wore the same clothing. So you enjoy your soft colors and I will smile when I see those red shoes on your feet. Have a wonderful week!
That’s so fun Judy.
I’ve admired great outfits on others knowing I would never wear them. My mom loved red, looked great in it, and wore it often. I own 1 red purse and a few scarfs with a bit of red. That’s enough for me.
Maybe it’s not red that we struggle with, but the shade of red we choose to wear. PANTONE 1955 C leans toward the maroons and burgundies. I prefer these reds with my navy, gray and tan pieces. Oxblood shoe over red suede?
I do think the shade makes a huge difference…I know it does for me.
Great article. I cannot get enough of red at present, wore a red lands end dress other evening, just ordered red Quince jumpsuit, makes me feel alive.