Monday Musings- Arrogance and Cover-ups
Happy Monday, ladies. Monday musings are never planned. I just start typing and it pours out, so hang on for a twisty ride 🙂
Our weekend was a chilly one. Not because the weather was cold but because our furnace is broken. Please pardon the upcoming rant…I detest arrogant men.
Repair Men
Our furnace has been on the fritz for several weeks. It seems to have a mind of its own and only comes on when it feels like it. Our warranty company sent a repair guy out to diagnose the problem. He was one of those morons who discounts women and would only talk to the “man of the house”.
The problem is, my husband didn’t pay much attention to what was happening with the furnace. He knew it was broken but I knew how to explain it exactly. I’m the one who adjusts the temperature throughout the day, listens to it, and knows what it’s doing or not doing.
He declared our zone motor was broken and it’s not covered by our warranty. I tried to explain how it was acting because his diagnosis didn’t sound right to me. This repair guy wouldn’t even look towards me when I spoke to him so I knew he wasn’t listening.
He said we were on the hook to fix it because our contract doesn’t cover that and he wouldn’t do it. We hired someone to replace that motor, which they confirmed was “acting up”, but the following day, the furnace was back to acting exactly the same as before and we are $600 poorer.
How do you deal with men like that?
Bathing suits and such
I’ve been so cold the last few weeks that we’ve decided to plan a few warm-weather trips. We’re going to visit my brother in Loreto Bay, Mexico which I am super excited about, and have a very quick trip to Hawaii planned. Of course, both of those destinations will require a bathing suit. Sheesh.
My one and only bathing suit is hanging along with my exercise band on the key to my armoire to remind me I’ll soon be walking down a beach. Muscle tone is not overrated 🙂 Here’s the thing…even if I had the rock-hard body of a goddess, I’m more modest at 65, and I just don’t want everything on display so I’m exploring swim dresses and swim rompers.
Swimsuit alternatives
I’m thinking kaftans, and coverups will be my friend on these trips. I’ll be packing hats, copious amounts of sunscreen and am shopping for casual clothes and coverups with sun protection built-in.
Sun-protective fashion on my radar
My brother’s latest book
My brother Pete’s latest adventure book for children is out and you can order it here! I loved his first one and I’m collecting them for when my grandson gets a few years older. Peter is the one in our family who really inherited my Dad’s love of storytelling and writing. It’s a tale of magic, time travel, fairies, and dragons…perfect for the young children in your life.
A new “live”
One of my favorite, (perhaps the only) part of Instagram I enjoy is the Live chats. Susan from une femme d’un certain âge and I are going LIVE to chat on Tuesday at 10 am PT, 1 pm ET. The topic is going gray. This promises to be lots of fun! Susan is hosting and you can watch us here.
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
As the Lady of the house, show him the front door. It has long been my experience that when laborers are not agreeing with how your plans to remodel your master bathroom don’t align with their thinking I simply say thank you for your time and show them the door. This way they don’t take up much of my time. I followed this procedure with anything in the house that’s broken or needs to be changed. As far as gray hair I think your hair is beautiful the way it is, I am not a fan of gray hair on the majority of people. I know it takes time to color your hair but I definitely think it is worth it.
We don’t have a warranty contract, mostly we have service contracts for our HVACs.
I think telling the customer service person you don’t want that person back again because they were dismissive of you and only wanted to talk to the “man” is the way to go. The repair fellow will hear about that from his boss. My husband is well trained so he usually defers to me in front of the service person if I have “observations” about the way it’s malfunctioning.
These days this stuff has got a lot of electronics in it. Switching it all on/off is always my first step.
I go with a basic swimsuit and add a pair of pull-on shorts or a tunic. That way you can get in the water and swim, and when you aren’t in the water pull the cover-up on. I’m a one-piece gal, but my cousin, who has always been a bikini girl goes with a two-piece, saying that it dries faster under her cover-up. If you feel hesitant then slather on a couple of rounds of self-tanner. Flab always looks better with a bit of color.
At our age it’s not kind of our skin to get too much sun, so you can go with a cover-up without regret.
My sun is so fragile now, I prefer to cover it from the sun and parasols do a lovely job:)
I sold heavy equipment for Caterpillar and Komatsu for 30 years. It is always fun when men underestimate me. I have many men who respect me for not tolerating their arrogance! Never be afraid to speak up. I have yet to find a bathing suit that respects me!
The only way to deal with a sexist man like that is to refuse to have him talk to your husband – don’t have your husband in the room. Advise him that you are the one who is familiar with the symptoms of the problem and he has to talk to you. If he won’t call his office and explain the problem, ask for another repairman. When he says it is a problem not covered by the warranty and you are sure he is wrong, same response. Unfortunately, the repair companies are finding it hard to find competent employees, and we are seeing more and more of these incompetent bozo’s being sent out as its all the company has!
Hate dealing with those kind of men. For my whole life I was the decision maker even while married and was continually ignored from home repairs to buying cars to buying homes.
Agreed!
On swimsuits, I actually love swim shorts, and a rash guard the best. Then a high neck or long torso style suit. The skirting moves around too much for my taste once wet.
I work in a gym full of male attitude, so I ask around for repair people recommendations , and I usually don’t get “ contracts” , I’d rather pay a person that was recommended.
Many years ago, a plumber came to my house for a list of minor repairs. The manager of the company called to say I had the best-prepared list and diagnosis of the parts needed/problems he had ever seen. This was after the plumber talked to him when the repairs were complete.
Also, after I detected a pinhole leak in an outdoor gas line, the gas fitter told me the hole was so small that most men would never be able to detect it. He said 95% of problems like this are reported by women, who have a better sense of smell than men.
I’ve had more than my share of bad experiences with rude tradespeople, though, especially during recent repair work from a storm. Don’t get me started on the parts person at the car dealership, who threw the part I needed at me. Good thing it was small. I had my baby in my arms at the time. It’s a man’s world to some of these guys.
There are always men who act superior to women. Its usually because they lack self esteem. I just talk real loud and when he looks at me funny, I just say, “Oh, sorry. I thought you were hard of hearing”.
I love the color of both. I don’t know why more women don’t do it. It doesn’t make us look older. It softens our look. I love wearing color now. Grey hair is an accessory.
I am so very sorry that you had to deal with such a man that showed you so much disrespect. In this day and
age it’s hard at times to think this still does exist, but I know fully well it does. You deserve better. I like that
you are a strong lady and you stand up for what is right. You “Go Girl.” Nothing is worse when your furnace
breaks down and it’s either super cold outside or hot. You remain in my thoughts. Wishing you a positive outcome.
I am considering going gray too. This is SO timely!
I thought we were past men behaving like that to women. It’s insulting and infuriating. Some people still live in the dark ages. Can you only imagine his home and how he treats his wife? I would have to lodge a complaint with the company.
Well you certainly have a lot of company with the issues of service people! It was a good read, is part of everyday life, and I appreciate that you share everyday things with us. When we moved to this house we had some updating done, and I was here full time for six weeks in the daytime with all the contractors, returning to our previous home in the evenings. Most of the contractors were great, but one. I finally looked him in the eye and quietly said that he needed to remember that I was the one who wrote the cheques. No issues after that.
Yikes! Bathing suits and repair men. As a longtime widow, I’ve had 26 years of these people asking to see my husband and then, after huge sighs, speak to me like I’m 4!
About the bathing suits… Ihave the same issues you do and wear separates -a normal looking tank top with built in bra and bathing shorts. They cover more of what I want ( need!) covered. I have some from Lands End, but there have to be others out there. Good luck!
I would call the company that sent out “the jerk” and report his behavior and that the problem is NOT fixed. If they fail to rectify the problem, contact the Better Business Bureau in your area. Hope you can get the problem solved to your satisfaction.
Over the years based on my frustrations dealing with warranty companies and their contractors in my property management business, I decided not to use warranty companies AND their contractors. Typically where I live (which if far way from most everything) I call my best friend the general building contractor who we hired to build our house in 2013. I say ‘hey Mark who do you use or recommend as an electrician, plumber, appliance repair, etc.?’ So IF they value being his sub-contractor when I call they’re typically proficient, respectful and good at what they do! BUT it generally takes time for them to come do a ‘service call’ so pick your poison. I too would most definitely give a review on Yelp stating your issues. Love your blog!!!! & dreaming of Kauai too 🙂
Just a quick thought …… it seems the repairman didn’t fix the problem . He misdiagnosed and you had to buy something you didn’t possibly need. The service company should ( many do) have a warranty for service-like 30 days or something. If the problem still exists there’s a reason to contact the company – in addition to the incredibly poor service you experienced. Two issues – each a reason to call .
I don’t deal with men or women like that. I confront them then and there. He’s probably a bully also.
You could call the company and complain or yelp him
One thing I have learned about life: you will have a chance for a do over, if not with him with someone else. Keep it in your memory bank .
He treats people less-than and probably men too.
A vacation how wonderful that sounds….as far as swimwear go to Landsend. They have a huge selection and it’s on sale today and tomorrow. Along with the mix and match swimwear their rash guard tops, bottoms and dresses are wonderful. You have sun protection and the items are cool to wear. I wear the tip for golf and the dresses everywhere. Both were worn on our trip to Hawaii.
Your furnace story is very much like mine.
We purchased a new furnace and after it was installed it did not work.
My husband is a peaceful person so called them , explained the problem and over came Mr. know-it-all., who explained our glow plug die.
I said then bring back the old one because we upgraded the furnace but our 25 year old one was working fine.
He gave me a hole lot of technical BS got the furnace running for a bit but it die almost any time the cold set in.
Come to find out the unit was discontinued and we purchased a new one because in guarantee we had was null. Don’t you just love it!!
Buyer be wear!!
Ugh!!
What is the name of you brother’s new book? I bought his last one for my 11 year old grandson and he loved it!
I’ve found a variety of quality swimsuits for mature figures at Lands End. Nice coordination with coverups and reasonable prices.
I know your pain about your furnace repairman. I’m single so when the repairman arrived he immediately told me I would need a new heat exchanger along with what he had already diagnosed. I told him I’d do the heat exchanger later. My furnace worked fine and a few months later there were multiple lawsuits concerning the needless diagnosis for needing heat exchangers. The company declared bankruptcy. Since then, I try to have my son present for service calls.
Thank you for the range of topics that you cover. Your post today resonated with so many readers it reassures us that we are not alone in experiences we have and gives us insight into how to cope. I enjoy your topics and look forward to each post no matter what the topic is. Your refreshing, unpretentious, and honest.
Thanks, Sue. I enjoy knowing I’m not alone in my experiences too.
Never underestimate the power of a scathing yelp review! I wonder if we have the same furnace. I don’t think we have Zones. But I must say the attic looks very festive with the tree!
Thing about swimsuits, even modest ones is that nothing covers up the lumps, bumps, cellulite, strawberry skin and general crepey sun damage. I just cannot get the courage to bare my legs at all. I’m wondering how common that is. Those do look very nice and I totally adore Allbirds.
Oh, Jennifer, you are cute as a button. Please don’t get one of those swimsuits with a skirt. Own your fabulous self!
Kick that guy out straight away!! Those folks don’t get my business.
I really like wearing a tankini top with swim shorts – Lands’ End or other ‘board short’ styles. They dry quickly, and they are more comfortable than other swim bottoms IMO. I also like that some come to mid-thigh or even a touch longer. With a cute top, they don’t feel too ‘granny’ to me!
Jennifer, I wonder if we put your two stories together … then, the idiot repair guy is probably the same guy who checks out women in swimsuits on the beach. Okay, I’m kidding, kind of. As long as your swimsuit lets you move and swim, just focus on the coverup. I’ve found some tunics or sweatshirt w/shorts can be cute and more cost effective, but I swim on a windy ocean beach rather than relax poolside somewhere. Envy you your trips!
After spending a fortune on highlights and lowlights, I decided to let my hair grow out naturally….because of all the colors, it was almost impossible to tell new growth from the highlights….so now I’m totally white, get oodles of compliments from women who tell me they wish their hair looked as pretty as mine….course that’s not appealing to live with the change rather than overnight. I’ve saved lots of $$$$. Now instead of being a blue-eyed blonde, I’m a “white-hair” blonde.
I would for you to do a post on swim coverups. I am looking for a light , airy one- but not see thru, that goes almost to my knee and long sleeves.. I am thinking linen.. too many are very short, and very see thru ..
I have to confess I often make my husband deal with repair people and contractors because I know he will get better service.
I did fire a financial advisor years ago because he was arrogant, condescending and used a belittling attitude. We found a better advisor and never looked back.
I agree about modest clothes in general. it’s not so much about covering flaws as it is about comfort for me. I have found swim shorts and tankinis can be a good option fo the beach, but I still prefer a one piece most of the time because I am an apple shape and my legs are ok.
We are far too obsessed with perfection. I agree with others who have noticed that other cultures are much more accepting of loose bits and wrinkles.
I understand your frustration with repair men. I’m usually the only one home when they come and sometimes I feel like we’re on different planets! I really hate wearing a bathing suit. I’m down to just one now because I don’t want to try them on. Your brothers book looks awesome.
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Absolutely love your blog!
Gave up on home warranties years ago – they seldom cover what you need & the repair people they send are not always the best.
Good for you booking a couple of warm getaways! I must say I swear by Miraclesuit tankinis and have done for years. I’m tall, long-waisted, 165 lbs. & 70 yrs old, and can always find something I feel comfortable wearing, and the huge thing is that Miraclesuits hold you in, thereby slenderizing you! Started wearing them in my late 40s! Even my 34 year old daughter loves them. Please note however that I buy a size 12 Miraclesuit even though I wear a 10 for almost everything. I do not care for tight fits, although my daughter is fine with it and wears her regular size.
Linda: I also like Miraclesuits. The slenderizing effect and quality are unmatched and my closet proudly houses 7, one for every day of the week 😉 Miraclesuit also has mix and match tankinis, swim skirts and numerous levels of supportive tops. The extra $$$ are well worth the expenditure as these suits will many years of confidence building.
Ha! That rant was just a mild complaint! You are too polite. 😊
I, too, detest that sort of treatment, and it happens all too often. I continue to grow bolder, and less polite as I get older, and have reached a point where I will “let them have it!” (As we say in the South.) “Them” being the mansplainers and rude chauvinistic “professional” males. My husband is supportive, and will tell them they need to listen to me, LOL. Enjoyed this, and kudos to you for your strength, as well as your grace!!!😊
My arrogant male experience was purchasing a car — three times we left dealerships without a new car — and we had the check with us to buy all three times — because male salespeople refused to acknowledge my presence, voice, preferences, and would only speak to my husband. To the third, I finally locked his eyes into mine and said, “I am the one buying this car – got it?” He looked over at my husband, lol. It led me to wonder if there is any ingrained way women regularly discount men, but I couldn’t think of any.
For the bathing suit now, it is an easy call for me. Solumbra full cover. I’ve had my first skin cancer and will be respecting my skin from here on.
Wishing you lovely travels to warm places, and that maybe some day a repair woman will show up knowing how to listen.
We went to Maui in October, I bought a skirt from Ripskirt Hawaii and a front tie cardigan. At the time their sun hoody was out of stock but one of our guest had 2 and I plan to buy one soon. For river or ocean ware I have a tankini top and super light weight capris from Columbia clothing that dries quickly. I want my knees covered! The Ripskirt is my bathing suit cover up for pools!
Check out Lands End for bathing suits. I mix and match tankini tops and swim bottoms w/skirts. Many choices.
I have several on order. They seem to be everyone’s favorite
Sorry you had to deal with heater issues and service people. I hate arrogance! Luckily, I am knowledgeable in repairing many things around my home because my dad taught me when I was a teen. He believed I was capable of doing anything my brother could do. I’ve found that some service and repair people are very condescending and patronizing, especially to women over a certain age.
I personally do not tolerate that type of behavior. I remember years ago when my husband and I had our own business and a couple employees would not follow my directions. My husband spoke to them and informed them that they had better respect me and do as I said because I could fire them as easily as he could. Boy, that quickly changed their attitudes and I never had any other problems.
Swimsuits are another thing! I’ve tried the swim skirts and prefer ‘boy shorts’ type swim bottoms. I’m going Hawaii the end of March and will be taking two black swim bottoms and 3 or 4 swim tops for the week, including a black one that looks Iike I’m wearing a solid black one piece. Cover ups are my friend and I have several in a variety of styles.
Arrogant service people and swimsuits in the same post! Wow! I’m going to need a stiff cup of coffee for this! Ha!
Along with so many others, I’ve been there! I was once intimidated but now I am honest and frank in my approach. I guess that working with surgeons for over 30 years and lots of education on crucial conversations helped me learn how to best respond. I’m glad that you can ventilate here with us. It’s your blog and we get it! Thanks.
Regarding swimsuits, Lands End is my go to. Enjoy planning for your well deserved time away, Jennifer!
Lands’ End swimsuit separates are the best.
The first thing you need to do is call the warranty company and report that man to his supervisor – or maybe the head of the office or of the company. Tell how you were treated and that he mis-diagnosed your furnace and how are they going to pay for it? I would even suggest as going so far as seeing if you can find a lawyer that wouldn’t charge an arm and a leg. I would report the man and the company to the Better Business Bureau in your area. Also – a fun threat – and easy enough to carry out: do you have a local TV station that looks into customer complaints? If so, threaten to do that – or, if the warranty company has a FB page, post a complaint there. You can call your local Chamber of Commerce and see if they can help. And the man who installed the motor? He also made an error – what is he doing to rectify that? And you can threaten to call the state Attorney General – that’s the office that takes care of bad business practices. I highly recommend you be very pro-active here – you do not deserve to be treated like that (I was hoping all of those guys were dead by now! Lol), but they need to be reported – plus it was their mistake and they should pay the bill. Sometimes even threatening to call a lawyer helps. Make a plan of attack and be firm with whoever you talk to! Hope something here helps!
Thanks, Alysan!
Oh my, can so relate to arrogant men. If I had a nickel for every one of those, I’d be a millionaire . They are promptly asked to leave my home, my yard, my garage, etc., and notified I will be calling their boss. Amazing how fast they call on the way out to their car, to tell “their story” . One day a young man was repairing my garage door. Was clearly having a bad day. Instead of asking him to leave, we had a chat about his attitude. I told him I was sorry he was having a bad day, but wanted to make sure he understood how he wore that attitude..he was embarrassed, kept his head up and finished the job. And yes, I did indeed call his employer, and the good friend that recommended them.
Ok, rant over😁
Love the high neck Magic Suit! I can’t bare any sun on my chest, so that really appeals to me!
I hate getting sun on my chest too. It burns no matter what I put on it
The repairman you had was so rude and sexist I would have told him so. Insults to my intelligence are not welcome. Then I would call the main office and tell them about his condescending remarks.
Your bathing suits are very flattering. I didn’t realize how nice the one- piece suits have become. The tankini is my choice because it’s easier for me and there is a choice of bottoms if you want more coverage. And it’s less hassle to use the restroom.
Happy traveling!
This is a great post and I totally relate to all of it!! – I think of Monday musings as just that – as if I’m sitting across the table from a friend and we say what’s on our mind at the moment!! Unfortunately, if I’m ignored or dissed by a man, I usually rant to my husband – as if HE”S the problem – that’s not all that helpful!! As for bathing suits, I swim 3x/week for fitness and think nothing of throwing on my speedo, but if I go on a holiday the suit becomes a big deal!! – so I wear my speedo, but also wear a long sleeved swim shirt or rashguard over top and water going capris or even full length tights on the bottom – they can be swum in, protect from the sun, and keep me warmer in the water – if I don’t plan on swimming, I just wear a sundress and a hat and sit in the shade:) – that’s my current solution!
I am unlikely to swim as I don’t like the water, but I’m sure I need to be prepared. I love the sundress, sunhat scenario
You go, Mona! That’s what I was going to say — don’t worry about what other people think about your bathing suit. They really aren’t at the beach to look at you. Wear what you like and be proud of who you are today.
I bought a bikini 9 years ago for my Hawaii wedding trip. I wore it once to attempt to get some color to go with my white sundress / wedding dress, but it was March and sprinkling on me at the hotel pool. Living in Oregon, I haven’t had the need to wear a bathing suit since, but I still have it and would still rock it!
I was a single parent and homeowner for 18 years. I had a vw mechanic try to convince me that my car needed a new engine when I knew it had a blown head gasket. If so-called service people (of either gender) won’t treat you with respect, don’t give them your business. The communication is not likely to improve, and it’s not worth the aggravation. I think some men are intimidated by women because they can’t keep up with how fast our superior brains work!
That last statement, says it all 🙂
I feel your pain with the Bathing suits ! I really love the Landsend tankinis. I buy the swim shorts and I tankini top and they look really great. Much better on me than showing things I prefer to keep covered.
Also they are on sale right now.
I am checking them out, thanks
While a bit pricy, Coolibar has fabulous SPF clothing – thats all they sell. I have several tops and coverups – purchased from Coolibar but I have found their basic Tees on Amazon. They guarantee SPF coverage for the life of the product!
As for the repair man – I would have booted him out and tried a different company. I have no “man of the house” so he would have spent very little time in my house. So sorry you exprienced that!
Yikes! We don’t have a home warranty, and now I am not inclined to get one. We are lucky to have a reliable group of service people who are polite and do good work.
A few years ago, my husband suffered from reverse gender stereotyping. He still bristles about it. We both worked full time out of the home, so when service people who only worked when we worked (e.g. 9 to 5 M-F), one of us would have to schedule time off to stay home. My husband could more easily arrange to be at home when an installer arrived with our custom drapes. When the installer arrived, he informed my husband that only “the wife” could sign off on his work. Apparently they went back and forth, until my husband called me at work. When the installer got on the line, I gave my husband “complete authority” ( at the installer’s request) and informed him that I was not going to take a day off work so a woman could look at his work. So the drapes went up, along with my husband’s blood pressure.
Some people have apparently failed customer service training.
Hope your furnace holds up!
That’s a wonderful story
can’t wait for your going gray video. I to am going gray and many others I know are also. Even much younger ladies. I think we are tired of being manipulated and told
How we should look.
I think you are right
Thank you for mentioning your brother’s book. I’ll check it out. I love that kind of fiction. I also like all the romper bathing suits; the two blue ones over the black, though.
Swimsuits -ugh…Since I haven’t been to the beach forever and only need swimwear when riding in a ski boat or dipping into the lake, I have resorted to wearing swim-shorts (on clearance from Athleta) an exercise top that doubles when I go to Zumba or Pilates, and a longsleeve ‘rashguard’ style coverup. I have a dear friend that wears a longsleeve Coolibar tunic shirt over the top of her suit. She’s tall and it looks great on her, I’m not sure I could pull it off. Good luck with your search.
Hopefully your husband would have supported you. Sometimes its not worth the battle. I would have just gotten my husband and hopefully he would of said you should really listen to my wife. She really knows what’s going on. I would definitely complain to the company on so.e level!
Hi Jennifer,
I have dealt with men like your repair man…many times. The way I deal with it is to have my husband say to the person that he should listen to me because I know more about it than he (my husband) does. That usually works.
Ugh, bathing suits! I guess it is time to think about that. I was surprised that sizes are out of stock already, but I guess people are buying year round anymore.
Lucky you getting to some warm places. Have fun soaking up some sun!
Good Monday Morning…☕️ I loved reading many of the replies, and certainly see myself in some of them…I fall into the “ you may leave now and your company will be getting my feedback… loved the one about taking the man’s picture! 👍
The reverse happened to my former husband and me. He had become paraplegic in his late thirties, and many people would speak to me, not him in the wheelchair, as if his brain wasn’t working . He was a neurologist! I would subtlety turn away, so the speaker would have to engage with him. Amusing , but unfortunate bias.
Lucky you to make a chilly house a reason to go and find warmth 😎
I have never had great thighs, and realized that swimsuits don’t come that long! Unless I become a Victorian!
I have had cellulite since I was a slim teen, so always looking for a thicker material across my bottom…which is actually difficult to find…since mostly tummy control selections. I use a wrap( Mexican or Hawaiian) that matches a good suit for swimming ( polyester is best since it lasts ) and feel quite confident. A stylish caftan is great for more public water areas. I think some of your readers ideas are excellent, and agree about the swim skirt… too much fabric, and instantly aging.
Acceptance is an art … especially useful as we age!
PS Jennifer, you keep up with your Monday Musings…always enjoyable reading.
I can relate to your disgust re: the repair guy. We had gutter and drain issues. I am the one who went out in the rain, took pictures of the problem area, and knew the history of repairs and cleaning. I was responsible for hiring and overseeing the job. One company had a young man (sounded like a teen) answering the phones. He wouldn’t even let me make an appointment without my husband. I hadn’t even said I was married. I told him I was the decion maker for this repair, and my first decision was to not consider his company for the job, then I hung up.
I am a big fan of your blog and I love your many helpful tips relating to dressing well,health and even household tips! I don’t mind you venting about arrogant service people. I have had my share of them,also. I think it is nice that you have had many helpful suggestions on getting good service!
Your blog feels like a wonderful community of caring women! It surprises me when you have a negative comment from someone who criticizes you for venting! Keep up the good work you do on your blog!
I am looking forward to your live chat tomorrow, Anything to do with grey hair is of interest to me now. I need to buy shampoo and conditioner soon and welcome any suggestions. My hair is still too short to tell what the final texture will be – it’s still baby fine at this stage, but the colour is definitely bright white.
As for your upcoming trips – I’m envious and will be living vicariously through you 🙂
I am so sorry that you got such a nasty man looking at your furnace. You might want to look into buying totally new equipment from a reliable company and using their extended warranty, that is what we do.
I have friends using those home appliance warranties that are supposed to cover everything in their house but out of all of them, only one got things covered to their satisfaction .
I am sorry that man was so ugly to you.
I travel to Maui several times a year and appreciate your ideas for warm weather fashion. I have two dresses from Cabana Life which I wear frequently! The high quality and versatility of these dresses makes them my go-to items when on Maui. And they never wrinkle!
I always enjoy your blog. I am also making the slow switch to gray (with the help of my stylist who weaves in the gray with the blonde). I’m liking it and at the same time wondering who this older woman is!
I have dealt with men like that before. You just want to kick them in the shins and scream “listen to me!!” When I can, I will call a manager and complain about them.
I am 76 and since we have a cottage at a lake I still need a bathing suit. I tried one once with a skirt but it made me feel even older so now I just wear a cover-up when I can. Enjoy your trips and warm sunshine !
Luckily so far (knocking on wood) the repair men I’ve encountered have been polite and efficient- they actually diagnose and fix things. They’ve question one of us on the phone call first, and do have the part on the truck! Yay! The arrogance I’ve encountered were our last house painters. Didn’t listen and argumentative. So I get it! I am sorry about lack of heat. That is bad! Well, do enjoy your two vacations to warmer places! That’s one solution. Yes- I hate my two bathing suits and will try to find suits that flatter. I like the caftan idea!
I too have a home warranty program that I have been with for years. The contractors they assign have no choice but to deal with me because I live alone. Only once has a plumber been so obnoxious that, although he did the repair work, I told the warranty company not to send him again when I had another problem. My latest problem is getting the electrician that the warranty company assigned to even call to set up an appointment. My understanding is that contractors seek work from warranty companies so that is who you should complain too in these situations because they certainly want your money. I have only used my warranty policy roughly four times in the last 20 years.
So frustrating!!!
Ok to vent! Look forward to your musings and todays only makes you more relatable ❣️ Tankinis are my go to now in my 60’s. I mix and match the tops and bottoms. The swim mini bottoms from Lands end offer just enough coverage without being annoying in the water.
Want to grow out my hair but with my current caramel brown color it seems a long road of living with a skunk stripe. Not sure how to do it.
Thanks again for the daily posts.
A good colorist can help ease the grow out with some highlights
Bathing suit shopping, yuck! I can’t do that any more . . . . summer dresses are more my style these days!
Idiot service tech . . . . . my husband has stepped in before and told techs to listen to what I’m explaining. The company should make this right for you in some way.
I am looking forward to hearing you and Susan’s live post tomorrow on going gray. I decided to stop coloring in April of 2020 when the pandemic first hit and now, almost two years later, I am artificially color-free. My hair color was like yours and Susan’s and I will be honest, I do miss it. I look at pictures and think I look younger and it was so pretty. Then I remind myself of the unhealthiness of coloring (dry, color fade…) the cost, and the time spent in the stylists chair…and I’m happy I did.
NOW the big question, does going from blonde to gray change my “colors” of what I wear? Does the colors that flattered my blonde work with gray? When someone mentions that top looks good on me, that color looks pretty, I pay attention to what color it is.
I’ll be interested in hearing what you both have to say about this and watch as you progress through the grow out. I enjoy your posts tremendously. Thank you.
I think for many of us they can shift if our value contrast changes and as our skin ages.
I agree completely with the others who said, “find another repair person.” Some people just aren’t living in this century and it’s a waste of time to try to change them. But do complain to the company who sent that person out and find another contractor who is polite and will listen to you.
Regarding the bathing suit, I have a huge birthmark on my thigh (it’s faded over the years) and I always struggled to cover it up. Bathing suits with skirts are helpful, but once in the water, the skirts either cling uncomfortably or ride up from the water. I now wear separates from Lands End, with a long top and 2 bottom options: swim shorts with a bikini bottom attached, or separate bikini bottom and shorts. I no longer care who stares at my birthmark, they are being rude.
I live by myself and own a home. I could write a book about repair people. I also have had shoddy work done and feel that if I were a man it would be a lot different.
If on your search, you find some nice coverups that are just below the knee I would be interested. I’ve developed varicose veins behind my knees ( ugly ).
I detest arrogant men! If I was being treated that way, I think I would ask him to leave, call the company and ask for another technician that has manners. I found that at a car dealership recently. He spoke to my husband until he told him
I was the one buying the vehicle. He was quite attentive after that but if he hadn’t I would have left. We should never accept that type of dismissive behaviour.
I agree
How I deal with “service” people like that is tell them I’ll think about the fix and then let him go. And then I find a more reputable repairman. We are well fixed with a plumber, a heating and cooling guy, an electrician and a builder who will come in an emergency. But you do have to “kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince”, even when you’re paying big bucks. Especially when you’re paying big bucks.
We met with an architect about putting an addition on our house. We were spending a few hundred thousand, so, you know, you want to be heard. We met with a female architect who only spoke to my husband except for one statement she made to me: “Why do you have so many tables? Some of these are pretty ‘Grandmaw’.” I said, “these are antiques, I enjoy collecting and in fact, using, antiques”.
I shut down immediately, we paid her consulting fee and moved on. I know we would have gotten the addition she wanted, not what I wanted. She also told my husband to use our basement for his recording studio! If he had wanted to do that, don’t you think he’d have already done so? I can’t stand arrogance, I really can’t,
Just a suggestion, but when you have a repairman/technician that has that attitude, just take a quick picture of him and explain to him that when you post his picture on Facebook, for example, and report his attitude to your friends and the world in general you want to make sure the photograph is flattering. Trust me, that will wake him up or you really need to ask for another tech.
As for going grey, well, after following your post for over a year now, I have decided to let mine grow out. So far no one has noticed. Just a few grey hairs around my forehead and temples. But I have been following your move to all natural and I must say I love your hair! It looks great! And I can’t tell any difference in the body, though you may be using more product or spending a little more time on your hair. It really looks great. And I agree with changing the colors around my face now too. Colors that I wore before aren’t working like they used.
I am really enjoying your blog.
That’s awesome, Rhoda! It’s sure taking some getting used to. I will share a link to my chat with Susan later on the blog if you can’t watch live.
I bought a swimsuit with the tankini top with two different bottoms. I have the short skirt, and the briefs that have adjustable draw string on the sides. I agree swimming in the skirt is unflattering and cumbersome. I wore the adjustable ones the most when we went to Maui. We snorkeled a lot, and I wore a rash guard for that. If I am just walking on beach or sunbathing in chair I wear skirt or briefs. I am noticing now there are board shorts out there. I thin k a cute slim tankini with board shorts might be the next thing for me. My thighs have cellulite and covering them would make me happier. lol Landsend has good suits that fit the rear end and have loads mix an match tops and bottoms.
Landsend seems very popular. Even my Nordstrom carries them. I’ll have to check them out.
The irony of the situation is that you are the one knows something is wrong and can explain it. This is a common scenario at our house, too. And when someone does that to me, I deal with them as best I can, but they won’t be back. We had a monthly care subscription (about $15/month) with the best furnace people in this area in our last house. They were great about talking to me and listening. As well, that subscription bought us immediate attention when we had any problems. It was super important when we lost hear in the winter here in the Midwest.
The best companies train their people not to ignore people by gender. BUT, I will also say, if this is a warranty you bought when you bought your home, we had one and they cover very little in reality. Any real problem we had wasn’t covered. Very frustrating. I hope you get it fixed by someone who has better customer service skills.
What is the name of you brother’s new book? I bought his last one for my 11 year old grandson and he loved it!
I’ve found a variety of quality swimsuits for mature figures at Lands End. Nice coordination with coverups and reasonable prices.
His New book is called The Magic Realm and you can find it here.
I love the sun hats with built in UV protection from Coolibar. Do you know them?
I am sorry you let the workman annoy you. I have worked with men and women in a former “man’s profession” for many years. Women are equal annoyers.
BUT mostly, I come to read your blog to get away from the negative news of the day and while I understand your annoyance I would ask if your blog is really the place for sharing that. I enjoy the light hearted artistic approach to your daily offering but I have enough annoying people and events to not want to read about it in a style blog.
My 2 cents.
I think maybe the post goes along with the idea that woman of a certain age become “invisible”, which I think was recently touched upon.
I was certainly invisible to him and I find it intolerable in someone I am paying
Jan, I think that her ‘Monday Musings’ post was an excellent place for Jennifer to vent her frustrations among her loyal readership. And going by the comments, many others have had the same experience, and some have come up with great ideas to counter it, and encouragement to stand one’s ground.
I’m just a couple of years younger than Jennifer and I love it when she brings up lifestyle issues that affect women of our age (or any age really).
I’m sorry this disappoints you Jan
Oh Jennifer you hit my hot button! Not sure where home warranty companies find these arrogant, ignorant men to represent them. On one occasion we simply said nope, send someone else. Then different state, different warranty co, the repairmen was trying to hustle more business out of us and we let the company know and to NEVER send the guy again. (I won’t go into warranty companies.)
My bathing suit hunt ended with a flattering wide leg, 5” board short and a cute Tankini top. (Hawaii in February.) Some of the rompers were so cute but too short.
Don’t get me started on repair men. Some of them are the most obnoxious, rude and condescending individuals I have come across in my life. Started years ago at a car dealership. Service guy tried to tell me there was nothing wrong with my car….constant stalling is not a problem I guess. He told me to come back with my husband (man in other words) and he would talk to him about the problem. Didn’t you just tell me there was no problem?! Various other men in any field have acted the same way….ever since then I absolutely stand my ground with these men and amazingly enough they back down right away and actually listen to me when I am trying to explain things to them.
So funny….I felt my blood pressure increase with the story of the repair man 😂. Absolutely rings my bell. I used to just deal with it and then be angry for days after. Now, I firmly get right into it and explain which one of us they need to be dealing with. My husband is very supporting cuz he’s seen me and our daughters be run over by boorish men and he won’t stand for it either. It’s poor manners, regardless of the gender issue.
Thanks for the bathing suit update. I really like the choices you brought out!
You hit the nail on the head, he was rude
Years ago my car needed body work. When I went to pick it up I didn’t accept it because the paint didn’t match.. The guy said it matches and I said no it doesn’t and he said where’s your husband and I said where’s your wife! He fixed the paint.
I know we all have lots of stories about condescending people and it’s empowering to stand up for ourselves.
LOL
Some of them are nightmares about cars! It makes me furious
We had our furnace and a/c replaced last year as they were going on 20 years old and we knew the lifespan was limited. Those home warranties have a bad reputation where we live (for doing what yours did), so we have savings to cover these things instead of paying warranty companies. We found a terrific company to handle this plus they installed energy efficient units to lower our energy bill.
As for swimwear, i wear a regular suit with swim shorts and rash guard for snorkeling and water adventures. For the pool, I wear the same without the rash guard. It is comfortable for me….
I live on Hawaii Island. I’m almost 70 and jiggly in various places but just don’t care about bathing suit issues any more. Wear something supportive but cute (Lands End is our friend) and enjoy the water!
Lucky you!!!
Tell him if he won’t talk to you he has to leave.
Call that repairman’s company and express your total disgust with their behind-the-times and evidently not well trained repairman. I assume they’d like to retain you as a customer. I’m in real estate and have learned that I never lose it or use profanity, but I can get my point across quite forcefully. With so many women in real estate, we have an advantage.
Love the swim suits, and envy you the trips. Have fun.
Oh, how young is young for your brother’s books? Have grand twins turning 11 soon.
That’s the perfect age for his books!
My daughter, a single mom physician with 2 master’s degrees, calls it “mansplaining.” It is demeaning, arrogant, and obvious. Be sure to write a review to the company. Absolutely archaic.
Great term for them. I have complained loud and clear to the company 🙂
Arrogant men are frustrating. Thank goodness I didn’t marry one. I went through a similar experience when we were having Internet issues. I’m the one who dealt with the spotty connectivity and documented it (and worked as a school district’s tech specialist for 20 years and know how to troubleshoot), yet the technicians ignored my input. I’m also in the market for bathing suits for upcoming beach vacations. The rompers are new to me and might work to camouflage my muffin top! I’m looking forward to your Instagram live. I didn’t realize that Susan is also going gray. I love my mostly white hair!
Sorry about your experience, Jennifer. Please let me know which suit you choose as we are going to Palm Desert and AZ in April and I need a new one. As much coverage as possible please!
Have a great week and stay warm my friend.
Thanks, Mary Ann. I will be wearing the kaftan I bought two summers ago I thought I would never wear.
I’m not fond of swim dresses. When you actually get in the water they cling to you and make swimming, snorkeling or whatever more about your bathing suit clinging than your water experience. I’m for wearing a rash guard on top and regular bathing suit bottoms and just adding a cover-up once I’m out of the water.
As far as the arrogant repair person, his company should be told about his attitude and reminded that you won’t be doing business with it any longer.
Good to know about swim dresses, thanks Pam.
Good Morning – I had to comment on your “arrogant” men. Several years ago, when single, I was shopping for a new car. I was asked by the “young” salesman if I would like to take the car home to show to my husband to see what he thought about the car. I responded “what should I do if I do not have a husband”!
The dealership lost a sale that day.
I have a quote posted on my desk, not sure of the author. It is
“I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my decisions.”
Have a wonderful day!!
I love that quote!!!
Hi Jennifer! I hear you about the arrogant man. I owned and maintained my house by myself while single for about 20 years. I’ve run into a few of those and it really got my goat. I kicked one of them out of my house once! Ha! After all, we are paying them-they work for us!
About the bathing suit, when I turned 40, peri menopause hit me hard and I gained a LOT of weight quickly and I felt so self conscious about wearing a bathing for a trip to SE Asia that I went and bought an expensive full coverage one piece to wear so I’d feel more comfortable. When I got to the first beach, I realized I had nothing to worry about. All other tourists, young and old, small and large were all wearing the skimpiest of bathing suits, especially Europeans. They don’t seem to be bothered by that at all. So I never let that bother me again. Now at 59, I’m going to Maui in March and I just bought a nice bikini (not skimpy) and a one piece because I’ve finally lost all that weight and proud of it. No matter if there’s sagging skin or a little cellulite, I don’t care!
Congratulations! My daughter is insisting I wear a bikini so I’m on the hunt for one.
Yes, to your statement about arrogant men. Especially when you appear older and they think you can not possibly know what you are talking about.