Monday Musings on White Tees and Decorum
We went to a much larger farmers market this weekend. The weather was warm and sunny, so since my face was still puffy from the IPL, I wore this giant hat with the brim pulled down and a lightweight linen shirtdress. Most people were more casually dressed than I was, but I felt like me, and was super comfy.
I ended up carrying three bags of fruits and veggies, which convinced me I needed a foldable shopping trolly. If you’ve never gone down the rabbit hole looking at those options, you’d be surprised!
I want a cute one like this, or even this vintage one. It also has to be practical, so I’ll probably end up with one like this. They even make them with wheels like this, so you can easily pull them upstairs.
I end up holding my daughter’s flowers in the car each week, which begs the question, why aren’t I buying flowers myself?
There were lots of thoughtful comments on the blog last week. This one by Shari on the post about organizing our wardrobes for fall really stood out for me~
"I have also started a list of things I don’t need any more of. I can get attracted to certain items and end up with more than I really wear. (No more jeans!) I’m also having a frank discussion with myself about my true lifestyle and how many items of certain categories I really need. How often do I dress up, need business wear? Maybe a few times a year. I’m focusing on casual but not sloppy.
Too often, we buy things for a lifestyle we used to have or wish we had. At this stage of our lives, let’s create a wardrobe that really works in our favor and makes it easy to walk out the door knowing we look great.
Rainbow
I bought rainbow chard at the farmer’s market this week. I’ve never made it before, so I culled together a few recipes to come up with a nice side dish, but it turned out disgusting! Chewy and bitter, but it sure looked yummy. Do you have a recipe for chard I could try next time? I love the idea of eating a rainbow of colors, but it has to be edible.
Black & White & Boring
Pardon my rant, but…when did white undershirts become dinner-out attire for men? I know I’m old-fashioned, but I think it’s polite to make a small effort with our appearance when we dine out. It shows a level of respect for ourselves, the waitstaff, and the other patrons. But…if no one can see the effort, does it count?
Last night, we went out for a casual dinner at one of our favorite local French restaurants. I love a classic white tee as much as the next person, but when a man wears one, it looks exactly like an undershirt. If I’m looking at you across the room, I don’t know if the tag on your plain white tee says Hanes, Ralph Lauren, or Thom Browne.
In the same small restaurant, I spotted no less than 9 women wearing a simple white top with black pants. Apparently, they all got the memo that black with white is chic, but it bordered on boring. None of them had personalized their look with special earrings, a scarf, or a unique shape. I adore minimalistic style, but if you go down that route, it’s important to add some personality to your look.
Have you noticed men wearing a white undershirt/tee shirt out to dinner? Does it bother you, or am I too picky?
Swiss chard is a cool-weather crop where I live. I wonder if the chard you got was too old or too big? I grew Swiss Chard “Bright Lights” in a big tote on our deck last fall ( somehow it survived the winter & sprang back to life this spring). I picked the leaves when they were no bigger than my hand. Chop or cut stems first (scissors work great). Saute in olive oil, butter, or (horrors!) bacon grease. Slice the chard leaves, add to pan, saute until totally wilted & tender (like you’d saute fresh spinach). I usually start off with sauteed garlic & onions, maybe mushrooms, maybe sliced
peppers. I add chard to soups, too. I even made a “spinach” quiche using chard. Buy chard with little leaves…should be more tender.
I cook large batches of chard almost over cooking it. Your dish looked beautiful but the chard looked raw. I sauté it on its own, add a little water or leftover wine or broth – any liquid so that it steams.
Then I add the cooked chard to lots of other cooked veg side dishes. Potatoes, peppers and onions, an egg dish. Chard goes into every frittata. I also toss it into soups.
You’re right. That chard in the photo looked almost raw. Definitely not cooked enough as it didn’t look wilted at all.
I find it interesting that we who patronize a nice restaurant expect a beautiful environment, clean tables and bathrooms, wonderful food arranged on a nice plate, served by a well dressed and polite server, yet we as patrons, don’t feel the need to dress to match the experience.
I agree about people being too casual sometimes, but I try to remind myself that there may be circumstances that I’m not aware of. For tank tops, it depends on the top. Lands End has tank tops with very wide straps that could be worn just about anywhere. And if you are ever near San Rafael, they have a huge farmers’ market on Sundays at the Civic Center. Someone told me it’s the 3rd largest one in California. We used to live there and loved going weekly.
HI. Jennifer. Love your comment about men wearing a collar if there are two forks. It’s going to be a new ‘guidance’ for my husband – lol. Many restaurants where I live require shirts for men, so no muscle tees. There’s even one that requires jacket for men — love it! I am fine, though, with men wearing shorts in seaside restaurants. I guess I don’t really agree with ‘to each their own’ when someone is affecting my dining experience. Maybe slovenliness should not bother me, but I admit it does. Oh, and no hats in nice restaurant – lol. I wonder whether the breakdown is civility that we sometimes see stems from not bothering to adhere to societal standards. Ok, stepping down from the soapbox.
You are welcome to stay on that soapbox! Many of us agree with you wholeheartedly.
Hi Jennifer!
First: Could you tell me about your purse today? I would love to get one. -It is super fresh and cute!
Like everyone else I’ve really enjoyed your honest and real perspective on being over 60 and still having a bon vivant attitude!!!
Hi Elizabeth, I bought it in a little boutique in Helsinki this summer.
It does bother me when in what I’d consider a nice restaurant, others are dressed as if they just came from their backyard! Of course it’s about how YOU want to feel about yourself, but looking around at others too casually dressed cheapens the experience that you expected to have! The other night (in NJ suburb) I saw girls in shorts that were the size of underpants, plastic clogs, and tank tops, like they just got picked up from day camp! Parents bad judgement, of course, and they didn’t look much better. So no one teaching anything about appropriate dressing, or to put in any effort to look nice. And waiters sang “happy birthday” so it even was a special occasion! A couple of weeks ago I heard someone in a fitting room that was trying on clothes for a cruise say no denim was allowed! That sounded good to me! Wonder if men are allowed to wear white tee shirts!! LOL!!
Looking very stylish Jennifer and a good tip about using a ‘shopper’s trolly’ as well as the necessity of accessories when dressing in black ‘n white. As to the subject of t-shirts on men; with the exception of blk-tie/formal or semi dress events my husband has an aversion to shirts so T’s are his choice for both wearing around the house as well as for street style/casual wear. (The former that may even have a logo and a conventional crew neck or sleeveless worn with work pants or jeans whereas the latter being an upgrade as can be textured/patterned/collared with a sleeve and worn with chinos/khakis/rugby etc.) In other words; white ones are only worn as an underlay if at all. In regards to a good recipe for chard; sorry I don’t have one but being similar to raw spinach that I often use in a salad (in lieu of lettuce) I wonder if one doesn’t cook it, add a dressing about an hour (or less) prior to serving and refrigerate to blend flavors, it might preserve its crispness. Also I would consider to eliminate using its stalk. (Just a thought.) -Brenda-
I think the stalks were the bitter part.
Living in a small western mountain town is a recipe for casual dressing. I have seen pajamas and fuzzy slippers in Walmart! I like to wear comfortable clothes all the time but they always are clean and neat. My husband wears a polo shirt with his dress chino shorts from Landsend when going to a restaurant here, no hat. It is very hot in the summer here so shorts are all we wear or see out and about.
A local restaurant used to serve a swiss chard dish, which I’ve duplicated at home. It’s primarily butternut squash ravioli, which I can buy frozen from a local producer. Maybe you can find something similar locally. I think the sweetness of the squash compliments the other ingredients.
* Toast a generous handful of walnut halves in a dry pan or in oven.
* Saute a couple ounces of diced pancetta. I’m able to buy this pre-diced.
* Saute some minced shallot in the same pan, adding olive oil if needed.
* After washing/drying, separate chard leaves from stems and chop each. Add these, along with olive oil, to pan and saute to desired degree of doneness, maybe 5-10 minutes for chard that’s not too mature.
* Meanwhile, boil ravioli as usual, then drain.
* Add plenty of olive oil to the veg mixture, enough to coat the pasta. Add some butter, too. 🙂 Add the drained ravioli & toasted nuts, stir.
That sounds amazing!
I haven’t seen men in white tee shirts at any restaurants here, nor baseball hats. Perhaps, in fast food restaurants but I don’t frequent My husband always takes his cue from me – dress pants or dark chinos and a button down shirt ( long or short sleeved) with nice shoes.
I love black & white outfits and wear that combo often. I always wear a necklace and earrings. I think black & white looks sharp.
Buy yourself those flowers! They’ll put a smile on your face every time you glimpse them.
I often wear a white top with black pants! One of my go-to formulas.
I’m not bothered by the white t-shirt, or women wearing a white top with black pants. Personally, I don’t like earrings, so I don’t wear them. I also don’t wear scarves around my neck in this Texas heat, especially with the heat index being 108 degrees today.
The only thing I disapprove of as far as what someone is wearing is when a person wears something too tight or too revealing in public.
But then I imagine some people must disapprove of my orthopedic shoes that I have to wear with almost every outfit. In summary, we shouldn’t judge, lest we be judged by others. With all the problems and hate in the world, I guess judging someone’s else’s fashion choices should be the least of my concerns!!
We all judge to some extent because we all have personal preferences. I’m sure many hate my hats but I wear them for me, not them.
I applaud people who can have no opinion. It’s a blissful way to live.
“Too often, we buy things for a lifestyle we used to have or wish we had. At this stage of our lives, let’s create a wardrobe that really works in our favor and makes it easy to walk out the door knowing we look great.”
This speaks to me l o u d l y!!
I’ve been in a rut with my clothes for a (too) long while. I’m 76, retired, an empty nester and realistically, only go out to church, women’s Bible study, granddaughter’s soccer games and grocery shopping! You have lit a fire under me now!! 😃
Awesome! The ladies here have lots of great ideas!
Last week, I attended a family member’s funeral in Sacramento (90 minutes west away). I wore a vintage black sleeveless knee length dress, knowing it would be hot (103) and flats, also had a short very thin sweater to cover my arms in the church & a wide brimmed vintage hat for the internment. Other family members wore everything from shorts, yes, shorts, to suits. When did funeral become accountable to wear beach attire?
I’m so sorry for your loss. Things have sure changed. Your outfit sounds wonderful.