The Three-Word Method To Find Your Personal Style
Honing your personal style saves you money, time, and angst if you’re anything like me. For example, if you put a perfectly lovely outfit together, but something feels off, it could be that the message your outfit is sending is not in line with how you want to look. If this has ever happened to you, it may help to know how to use the three-word method to find your personal style.
This concept has been around forever with varying numbers of words. I helped my clients narrow down their style using three words over 20 years ago. Tibi founder Amy Smilovik has been putting her spin on the three words style formula for several years on her IG channel. In 2016, influencer Chriselle Lim described it as her go-to way to put her outfits together. Stylist Alison Bornstein has recently added her interpretation to the discussion on her TikTok channel.
how does the three-word Method help you find your personal style?
Once you decide on your three words, they become the formula you use to create outfits and refer to before you add items to your closet. These three words describe not only how you like to look but also a feeling you aspire to. Knowing what will work seamlessly into your wardrobe makes it easier to put an outfit together that really feels like you.
How do you find your three style words?
Start with what you already own because it’s a good road map to discover the things you’re attracted to. Most people tend to buy multiples of what they love, and that’s a clue to your first word. Take the pieces that you always reach for out of your wardrobe and lay on the bed or hang on a rack. What do these pieces have in common? Are they structured? Floral or solids? Is the fabric woven or knit? Loose and flowy? Try to narrow down what these garments have in common. What are the silhouettes like, and how colorful are the fabrics? Find a word that describes these favorites.
It also helps to start a mood board on Pinterest and save images you’re attracted to.
If you choose a common term like classic or boho or sporty as your overreaching first word, dig deeper for more descriptive terms to modify your version of it.
Three-word method – your second word
Once you have your overall style word, look at your lifestyle to help choose your second word. So many of us buy garments for a lifestyle we aspire to rather than live. If your lifestyle is very casual, a wardrobe filled with structured blazers, floaty dresses, or fragile fabrics isn’t going to serve you well. Could comfortable be one of your words? How about easy or effortless, which could translate to pull-on styles without zippers and buttons?
Could buttoned-up or tidy be your second word? How about unique or striking? You’re looking for words that have feelings and meaning for you. How about whimsical, sweet, oversized?
There is no end to the words you can use to describe your style because this is very personal. Your version of classic or boho will differ from another woman’s because of how it makes you feel. For example, if you have many classic blazers and shirtdresses, one of your words could be structured or fitted.
Find Your third word
Your third word is about how you want to feel. Who do you want to be? This is the aspirational part of your style recipe and the most personal. Do you want to feel classy, pretty, or strong? Because this part is highly personal, asking your friends or family for advice isn’t helpful here. Keep digging and trying new words until it feels right. There are no rules, and you can use any words that resonate with you.
How to Use Your Three Word Style Formula
Your three-word personal style formulas will change and flow as your life, and you change. The play between these three style words makes your style unique. It keeps you from having a wardrobe full of boring pieces that don’t make you happy. When you want to add a garment to your closet, run it through the filter of your three words. Does it work for all three? If not, move on until you find something that does. Using this formula will help us all hone our style, buy less, and be happier with our wardrobe.
Brands you enjoy
The brands you like to shop can also be helpful. What words would you use to describe their esthetic?
Brands like Eileen Fisher and J. Jill are predominantly unstructured, soft, in neutral and subdued colors, relaxed, and unbuttoned. Talbots and Ann Taylor focus more on structure, color, pattern, and details. Ann Taylor is also decidely ladylike, which could be one of your words. Anthropologie is heavily creative, with patterns in structured and unstructured pieces. Fun, flowery, edgy, and textured come to mind.
The inclination to increase the number of words in your style recipe may feel irresistible, but it can also confuse the issue, and three ends up being easier in the long run.
You may also enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Where I am in this process
I love flowing shapes, asymmetry, drapey pants, and soft, unstructured knits, but that’s not what I reach for most often in my wardrobe. My body is quite structured, which may be why they aren’t worn as often as my bootcut jeans and white button-down shirts. My Pinterest board is filled with neutral outfits in simple, minimalistic shapes, so I’m mulling my words over and narrowing things down. So far, I have classic, easy, and polished…but they’re not set in stone because structured, simple, elegant, and minimalistic also appeal to me. I have more work to do.
What style words are you leaning toward that have feelings attached to them? Let’s start a list of words to help each other along this process.
Thanks for reading, and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
Hmmmm. I just went through my closet and pulled out all the things that don’t fit fit, things that I haven’t worn in the past 2 years, and things that made go “why on earth did I buy THAT!!?”. What I have left are formal and semi-formal dresses to wear when we go ballroom dancing or to the theatre, lots of Ming Wang knit shells, desses, trousers and jackets, an eclectic collection of colorful caftans, kimonos, and long vests in different fabrics, and white cotton broadcloth bloses and shirts in different sleeve and collar styles. There’s also a mid-thigh length brilliant red Calvin Klein jacket and high-waisted black trosers, and a white broadcloth shirt set that I bought at Macy’s that reminds me of my mother and grandmothers. So at the moment, I would say that my 3 words are eclectic, relaxed and nostalgic.
Good for you! I love your words. Iām cleaning out my wardrobe right now too and feel my words changing in the process.
I just found your site. I really like it and plan to read all of it. I have 14 turtle necks and I wear mostly black boot cut jeans. I sold men’s suits for years at Nordstrom and love the tailored look. But now I’m older 69, I found I need two looks: casual everyday and dressier for church. So picking that first word will take some time. Tailored might be one……
Welcome!!
Haven’ t had time to read the whole article yet but was wondering the make and style of the white sneakers you’re wearing with your jeans. You’re always a pleasure to read and see!! I’ll be back to read the whole thing.
They are Paul Green. Super comfy!!
I came up with easy, stylish and pretty for my first 3 words. Since I am new at this, I’m sure I have MUCH rethinking to do. I have a retired person lifestyle. Our area relies heavily on jeans, but I do get really tired of that look and feel. Thanks so much for introducing us to this way of thinking!
Love this topic Jennifer. I’ve thought about this before and always have trouble narrowing it down. I shop mostly at Athleta, Anthropologie, J Jill and Nordstrom. It’s not 3 words but after reading through all the comments I think I’m Relaxed with a Twist. I love cool jewlery, fun shoes, basically all accessories. I thought of throwing in Soft too as I LOVE things that are soft and cozy and I’m a soft summer so my colors are super soft. So maybe I’m Soft and Relaxed with a Twist.
Those are fun words!
Loved this exercise, really made me think about my clothes and the styles I wear! My 3 words are chic, striking and versatile! I love colour, many different styles and I love to style my outfits in unexpected combinations that are stylish!
Oh! Iām reading the 333 project. WOW, thought provoking.
This community thought process is so helpful. I have struggled for longer than I would be willing to admit trying to put adjectives to my style. this particular post really resonated and got me thinking again. (You delved deeper into the thought process) Recently what Iāve been trying to do is find pictures of outfits that just grab, in my gut, just grabs me and then try to describe the feelings that it evokes and from that Iāve been able to come up with descriptive words. when I went to write them down I discovered they were exactly the words that I had written several months ago. That was actually a shock and oh so encouraging. Trying to refine these now:
Clean/clam/simple/minimalist
Polished
Current
Confident
Comfortable
You know youāre on the right path! Clean, minimalist, simpleā¦ are they tailored or unstructured? Iām asking myself the same sort of questions. Glad youāre enjoying this process too.
This post really got to me. I never respond to blogs–well, I can’t say that anymore. I’m a retired 74 year old woman who takes care of her live in mother-in-law and occasionally my favorite (only) grandson. I am mostly at home, but like to look put together with shoes and jewelry. I have tried to consolidate the many words that come to mind in all three categories. So far this is my list
1. Natural–cotton/linen, J. Crew classic, solid colors, classic.
2.Put-together–solid, matching/coordinated colors, jewelry that matches the mood, comfortable shoes that state the style (my closet is 1/3 shoes).
3. Visible–a unique twist to my classic, unusual styling of a piece
I love that you drilled down past classic. Iām so glad youāre enjoying this too, Jandy!
Striking, Polished, Easy.
I am most attracted to the first two while shopping but my every day life is Easy.
How to upgrade that every day look for a hands on, hard working lifestyle?
Add leather work boots to the jeans and white tee shirt? But where to buy them???
Depends on the type of boots you need but Iād try Zapposā¦with their seemingly endless selection.
This was a fun exercise. My three: classic, ladylike, colorful.
Those are great! I love ladylike. It’s a great “feeling” word.
Striking, Polished, Easy. I am most attracted to the first two when shopping, but find myself falling into wearing easy around the house. I want to upgrade my every day look, but need hard working clothes for a country lifestyleāphysical work, outdoor work. What to do with jeans and a white tee? Maybe lace up leather work boots? Where do I find them?
They must work for your lifestyle, so I would start there.
I retired, Covid happened, my lifestyle has changed and my wardrobe is evolving. This is a great exercise! I’m trying to narrow down my words: classic, elevated casual, polished, ladylike, easy formula …
Soft – because my skin is sensitive, this is the feeling I crave when dressing.
Fluid – learned from reading the Fashion Feng Shui book Jennifer mentioned a while ago.
Simple – though I need “structured and tailored” for certain garments such as pants, prefer to keep things simple and unfussy.
I need clothes that help me get up and out, while feeling good. These 3 words really do describe my style and will help guide while shopping. Thanks for sharing this tip!
I LOVE your words, Ellen.
Probably an autocorrect typo: itās āTibi,ā not āTibby.ā Love Amy Smilovic! (another typo – and please free to delete this comment after fixing š
Lol! My spell check gets me in more trouble but also saves my bacon many times. Sheās great! Thanks