Monday Musings – Wise Women Era, and What Comes Next
This weekend was glorious. We went to Granville Island, which was too crowded to enjoy, and took two long walks in the forest. Those were just what I needed after the hectic few weeks I’ve had.
I didn’t wear anything interesting this weekend except an all-black outfit that, in retrospect, felt rather plain. I did wear my lemon drop colored tank but it barely showed under my sweater so it wasn’t enough to jazz up the outfit.
And you know what? That’s fine. Downtime is downtime.
Still, I’ve been thinking a lot about personal style, the choices we make as we get older, and how much room we give ourselves to change.
Last week, Angela left a comment that stayed with me. It was on my bathing suit post, which I’d found quite challenging to do because I’m very modest.
She wrote, “As I’ve stepped fully into my Wise Woman Era, I just don’t want that much of myself on display or exposed to the sun.”
When I read her comment, I thought, Yes! This is what I’ve been telling women for years. We get to make these choices simply because we can.
I’d never heard the expression Wise Woman Era before, and I was intrigued. Her comment sent me down a rabbit hole, and I spent hours reading about it and thinking about how well the phrase captured something I already believed.
I suspect many of us are already in our Wise Woman Era, even if we’ve never called it that.
To me, it means no longer feeling the need to explain every no. You know what you like and what you don’t, and you’re willing to act on it instead of smoothing things over for someone else’s comfort. Boundaries begin to feel less like conflict and more like taking care of yourself.
That part feels familiar to me. I know what I like, and I’m comfortable making my own choices. I don’t feel the need to justify them the way I might have years ago.
But the phrase also made me think about the parts of ourselves that are still changing. I don’t think becoming a wise woman means we stop questioning things altogether. If we did, wouldn’t we also stop growing?
Maybe the difference is that we’re no longer questioning our right to choose. We’re simply staying curious about what else might suit us now.
I’ve been thinking about this in relation to my style. I’m not the same woman I was last year, and I don’t want my wardrobe to stay exactly the same while I continue to change.
I still love the classics and I’ll probably always spot a beautiful neutral outfit and think, yes, that’s me. But lately, I also want more looseness, more interest, and more fun. More unique without leaning into eccentric…although that has it’s appeal too.
A few months ago, I spotted a ring that has been haunting me ever since. When I finally stopped to think about why I was so drawn to it, I realized it isn’t classic at all. It’s unusual, expressive, and artistic… not the sort of thing I would normally choose. Maybe that’s exactly why I can’t stop thinking about it.
Perhaps that’s part of my Wise Woman Era too. Not becoming a different woman, but giving myself more room to be the woman I already am. Or perhaps the woman I’m still becoming.
I’m still thinking about that, which may be exactly why I wanted to bring it here. I’m curious how you see it.
Have you heard the expression Wise Woman Era before? Has getting older changed what you give yourself permission to choose, in your style or anywhere else?
Reader Questions
Q – I will be attending my 50th class reunion in September. It will be held at a casual venue. Any recommendations would be appreciated.
A – Casual is really in the eye of the beholder. I would recommend you wear something slightly dressier than you think is appropriate, so you don’t get caught off guard and feel underdressed.
If you’re comfortable in a casual dress, this one would be nice with easy sandals or flats. This Nic+Zoe dress is also a great option. If you prefer arm coverage or will be dealing with A/C or cooler temps, this is one of my favorite 3rd layers to add. If you prefer pants, a soft chino is always nice, which can be topped with any blouse or sweater.
Q – I love your column and many of your style choices, but a lot of the clothing you feature is outside my budget. Would you consider including more affordable options for women living on a fixed income who still want to look stylish?
A – There’s a lot to consider here because women at this stage of life have very different financial circumstances. Some live on fixed incomes, while others have more flexibility to travel and spend on clothing. There really isn’t one typical budget.
It’s also worth distinguishing between the clothes I wear and the pieces I recommend. My wardrobe reflects my own lifestyle, preferences, and budget. I do try to share a range of prices, but I won’t recommend something simply because it’s inexpensive. Fit, fabric, and usefulness still matter.
My hope is that readers use my styling and advice as inspiration, then adapt it to suit their own lives and budgets.
Q – My figure has changed as I’ve aged, and I now carry more weight through my middle and hips with very little waist definition. I’ve been relying on tunics and untucked tops, but I’d like to update my look. I am petite. What styles do you suggest?
A – You don’t need to force waist definition, but I would move away from long, loose tunics because they can overwhelm a petite frame.
Look for petite tops that skim the body and end near the upper hip. Styles with a collar, a slightly extended shoulder, a soft puff sleeve, or subtle shoulder structure can help balance fuller hips. Side slits and open necklines will also keep the top from looking boxy.
Try straight-leg pants or gently bootcut pants, short jackets, and open cardigans. A column of color can create length, while softly shaped A-line dresses may give you definition without clinging.
The goal is not to hide your shape, but to create better balance and proportion.
20 years or so ago, on the western coast of Spain, I was so impressed with the Spanish grandmothers who were enjoying their beach time with the grandkids. (I’m assuming a lot, I know) None of them had the bodies they’d had when they were 30 or 40, and none of them cared. they were just having a good time in their bathing suits with no (apparent) thought of sagging body parts. That, to me, is another example of Wise Women Era. Carpe diem!
Exactly!!
Hi Jennifer I feel like I’m in my Wise Woman Era because I’ve recently decided to take one crisis at a time and put the rest on the shelf for another day, trying to let go of what I can’t control and attempting to think more positively as I age. Good for the soul and stress level. Truly wisdom comes with age. Enjoy your day, you fill my day with sunshine 🌞
It really does!
I am very petite and wear a PXXS or 00P in a dress. So some of us have stayed the same size all our lives. I still have trouble finding clothes. I do shop J Jill , Talbots, BRF online, Belk, anywhere I can think of ……..even Old Navy with my daughter. I may be wiser but not bigger……..I wish we had more stores to try on petite things as most have moved to online only. Talbots carries a 0P but not in the store. If you branch out and find other petite stores, please be sure to post! I love your blog!
I will let you know.
Wise Woman Era! Yes! I’m there, too. It feels so good to be at peace with myself. Thanks for this great idea. And, thanks for your wonderful column.
Another really fine post, Jennifer
I’m a bit jealous about being able to walk/hike in those verdant Pacific NW forests, as I grew up in the Pacific NW and always felt nature was all around.
Interesting topic. I’m finding that I am “unwinding” from my stressful professional life in my retirement, and as I clean out my closets, I can see how I was holding on to the image of someone I really wasn’t.
Thankfully, I’ve given myself a lot of time to really get into passing on hardly-worn clothes that don’t fit my current life. I have a much better idea of how I want to dress and have a much more critical eye on the cost of clothing and the impact on the environment, and my mental comfort level. Cost-Per-Wear is a terrific concept. My wardrobe staples now come from Columbia Sportswear, Patagonia, Tommy Bahama, and Eileen Fisher. Not that I don’t love a bit of shopping around ! Your efforts in working on shopping and wardrobes. as well as life in the Wise Woman Era is very much appreciated
I’m so glad it resonates for you Marlene. CPW is so important for me. Fast fashion doesn’t sit well with me because of the labor practices and cost to our planet.
I love the wise women era comment. Never heard it, but with wisdom comes confidence.
I agree that even if one’s budget is a lot lower we can still find lookalike styles that replicate what you show us. I love thrifting too and finding quality pieces. Classic styles span the eras and you can change up their look by adding a few new pieces. Now that I’m in my wise woman era I am really enjoying dressing in a less frumpy way and adding some reasonable cost jewelry to add a little pizzazz to an outfit. I feel like I must be doing something right because my friends compliment the things I’m wearing. When we’re older we dont need to have a large wardrobe so we can choose a few nicer pieces. When we’re at home for the day we’re more likely to dress in our comfy home clothes anyway. Thanks for showing me how to style what I already have in my closet. When I see an outfit you’re wearing and I have similar style pieces or colors I’ll pull them out and style them then take a picture and keep it in my photo gallery on my tablet so when I’m feeling brainless but need to go somewhere I can look through those pictures and choose what works.
Snapping a photo is such a great idea Marion.
Yes!!! So very helpful to keep a little gallery! Great idea!
Wise Woman Era is so nice, so refined compared to what Gen X would say (which includes F bombs!) Ha! I think the key thought here is that we’ve always been told, “Old people are set in their ways.” Not true! We are always and constantly changing! Wardrobe is just a manifestation of that. I think change is great and I embrace it! And yes, do whatever the eff you want with no excuses to anyone!
Agreed!
Hi, Jennifer: Here’s a little more explanation of the phrase, “Wise Woman Era.” The phrase is used as a contemporary empowerment tagline on platforms like TikTok, Substack, and podcasts, and pulls from deep historical and psychological roots: 1. The “Crone” Archetype: In psychology and folklore, the “Wise Woman” or “Crone” represents the third stage of the female life cycle (following the Maiden and the Mother). She is celebrated as a keeper of subterranean knowledge, life lessons, and spiritual guidance. 2. Traditional Folk Healers: Historically, “wise women” were village herbalists, midwives, and healers who held immense trust and social influence in pre-modern societies before medical fields were institutionalized. Ultimately, entering your “Wise Woman Era” means stepping into a leadership role over your own life and treating your lived experience as your greatest asset – which it is!!!
Yes, I did read that about the phrase. It’s just such a wonderful descriptor for this time in our lives.
I just love your blog; you are so authentic. I have the dress you suggested for the 50th class reunion…it is a lovely choice. However, the smocking does cause a bit of itching after a while wearing it.
Good to know. Thanks for the tip.
Jennifer
This was an excellent post. I love that phrase too! I think as content creator’s we try to offer price-friendly options that are as well made as possible in addition to those that might be more pricey but have a better CPW.
Thanks Cindy. Cost per wear is something I wish more women would consider!
I too, feel your clothes are way over my budget. I am in my 70’s. I love how you put your outfits together. I have only one dress and maybe 4 different pair of shoes. I would love to change my wardrobe, but I am a casual person. I love knit pants and cotton shirts. I am petite and overweight. Just wanted to share how I felt about your posts. Thanks for taking the time to help us all out. You are a beautiful person.
Thank you for being part of our community Sue. I’m so glad you’re with us.
Oh, I think you look very attractive. I might have swapped out a black purse for a different color, just to add a bit of interest, but you look very nice, as if you care, but as if you’re not trying too hard.
In reference to the ring that you like because it was distinctly difference and artistic…..I think that is you as I’ve referenced a few times in comments that I love your accessories (pins or scarfs) when you have something that comes from a specialty shop or you bought on your travels. I think you do have a knack (and eye) for that because it is you personally and that is something you can still do even as we get older.
I love unique pieces but some readers get frustrated because I can’t link to them. I’m glad to like to see them.
I just ordered the lovely pearl tennis bracelet, thanks for the tip. Also, they are offering 20%off site wide, which makes it even more appealing. I like the phrase Wise Woman Era, although I too had not heard it before. But I think I am living it myself. There are things that I do, or don’t do, now that are simply and clearly what I think are right for me now. No explanations necessary.
That’s wonderful. It’s a freeing time.
Hi Jennifer, I know you have had foot problems and so do I. I usually look for shoes with some kind of support these days, but The Rosamaria sneakers really caught my eye. Are they comfortable enough to wear all day? Say for travel? or really just a dressier sneaker for dinner out? Thanks!
I wear mine all day. I went up one size because my foot is wide and my orthotics fit!
Hi Jennifer,
When I saw your outfit today – wow! Loved the peeking tank top and linen shirt topper to add some textural interest. Understated, nicely put together and a gorgeous way to feature black. Thanks.
Thanks Mary.
Good morning Jennifer,
I have not heard the phrase Wise Woman Era before but I like it!
I do feel the conscious change in how I feel about choices I now make in all avenues of my life. How I am much more tolerable of some things and not others. Shifts in my choices for sure. Realizing very easily what may suit me as I am now- thank goodness!
I love your column and do appreciate all of your tips and treasures you share with us readers.
Great wisdom!😉
Thanks for being here Leslie. My readers are the heart of this blog.
Wise Woman Era… I love that. I’ve never heard it before, but I’m going to ponder that. Also, what size is your Tommy Bahama jacket? Very cute, and some colors are on sale now. Thank you.
I wear a small and I snug up the waist drawstrings to give it some shaping. When I want to button it closed, I just untie the knots.
I love this! Wise Woman Era as giving myself room to be the woman I am or the woman I’m becoming is going to be my mantra for the week.
It’s a wonderful feeling.
I’m wondering what you think of styles that fluctuate and resurface, especially regarding dresses. Keep or donate? For example, I have a dress with bell sleeves that I wore only once. Hard to know what is still fairly fashionable when not a trend anymore.
While I’m not much of a trend shopper myself, I see its value in helping an outfit look and feel current. However, if you love this dress I think you should keep it and wear it. It’s okay to look unique and often more interesting.