Monday Musings- Visibility, Confidence, and a Hair Update
On Saturday, we chatted about a very creative outfit a mannequin was modeling in a store window in Florence, Italy. Many of your comments resonated with me and got me thinking about visibility and confidence for women over 50. There’s no question that many older women struggle with visibility. Some combat that head-on by wearing dramatic, colorful, or highly creative clothing that defies anyone to overlook them. Others may not be that confident or don’t choose to draw that much attention to themselves. They thrive by flying under the radar and enjoy the lack of attention that comes with age.
What side of the fence are you on? Do you like to stand out sartorially, or are you more comfortable blending in? Have you always felt this way, or has it changed with age?
Spend or Splurge
We haven’t done a spend or splurge lately, so I thought it would be fun with a fall transition outfit.
Browns are popping up at many retailers this fall. I decided to mix things up by pairing brown straight-leg pants with a blue shirt, gold accessories, and a brown crossbody bag.
This outfit would also work with silver jewelry and sporty sneakers. I’d top it with a cozy cardigan when the weather cools off.
The splurge outfit comes in at around $1,494.00, and the save is around $222.00. Is the pricier option obvious to you? What was your tip-off?
Zuvi Halo Hair Dryer Update
This summer has been a rough one on my hair. It’s been shedding like mad for the last few months, so I’m doing everything I can to be gentle with it. Last month, I started using the Zuvi Halo Hair Dryer, which uses Infrared light instead of heat to dry your hair. Its negative ion technology helps seal hair cuticles, which increases shine.
The infrared light technology dries the moisture on the surface of your hair without drying out the inside. That means more moisture inside your hair, leaving your scalp and hair cuticles hydrated. That equates to gentleness, which my hair really needs right now. As promised, here’s an update on my progress.
I’ve been faithfully using the Zuvi Halo Hairdryer for just over a month. It takes a little bit longer to dry my hair, which I thought would annoy me, but it turns out to be a very good thing. My hair looks shinier and feels silkier than it ever has. Shine and softness make my hair appear healthier, and it certainly feels better, so I’ll be sticking with it. This hair dryer is an investment, so Zuvi has generously offered my readers a special discount. Use codeĀ Jennifer12Ā for 12% off your order here. (*You can also useĀ Jennifer5Ā for an extra 5% off if the Zuvi site has a promotion already.)
Look of the week
This look of the week nods toward fall with a cozy bouclƩ pullover, transitional booties, and a classic leather tote.
SĆFFT PEEP TOE BOOTIES – TRAVEL MUG
I had my first Pumpkin Spice Latte over the weekend. It was as overly sweet as I expected but it felt like fall. I can see myself wearing this look anytime because I love neutrals and gravitate to simple shapes.
Ulta Beauty’s 21 days of Beauty Sale is in full swing with special markdowns each day. What beauty and/or skincare products do you order on repeat? I’m working on a post pulling together the AWSL reader’s favorite products!
Thanks for reading and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
Your hair looks great!
I like the pumpkin spice lattes as well. I also think they are waaaaay to sweet. I buy a regular coffee with one and mix. Much better,
I prefer mine half sweet
Thatās a great idea!
I just recently stopped dying my hair and am embracing the gray with the help of my stylist. Your post comes at the perfect time because I’m feeling a bit vulerable
It’s not easy, so bravo, Mary!! Hang in there and see how you feel after all the color is gone. Keep us posted!
The pants and tank were the give-away for me. The ones in the save look just didn’t look as good. I did like the shoes and purse in the save look better than the splurge.
I’ve never wanted to call attention to myself even when I was younger. Perhaps that’s why now in my 70s I sometimes feel dowdy. I don’t often buy trends so seem to wear the same things over and over.
I have no idea which is the Safe and which is the Splurge (I think the top one is the Splurge) because none of the items would load when clicked on the links. I kept getting a 504 Gateway TimeOut message.
Your hair is looking great but it still looks blonde!
Our favorite diner has actually begun to put its Halloween decorations out today. Geez! It’s still August.
Halloween?? That’s so crazy early. My hair still looks blonde in different lights.
Never have been one who has wanted to intentionally stand out but know particularly when younger as was taller than most my age but even now just seem to, regardless younger generations tower over me. i.e.: Was and is still not usual when shopping for example I’m approached for my opinion by a stranger which use to drive my children crazy when/if they were with me as wondered why I seemed to be a magnet for such. The other day I was in Home Depot even and it happened …. lol!
As to your hair Jennifer, it certainly does look healthy. As for myself; I found switching to a different brush after washing has helped immensely. i.e.: When wet I now use a ‘small detangle’ hair brush for sectioning and comb through paired with a 100% Natural Boar Bristle Brush (Mason Pearson) for maintenance/styling. Also re beauty/skin care products, I can’t say honestly I have a favourite as always seem to be in an experimental mode when it comes to them.
Last but not least; do like the sweater in ‘The Look Of The Week’ and the lug soles of the loafer plus the fit of the rib-trimmed tank top were the ‘splurge’ give-away to me. -Brenda-
I have been thinking of getting a Mason Pearson brush because I’ve heard such good things about them.
Hi, I have always loved fashion and still do at 73. Also love jewelry and realize that as we age, to stay relevant, we must update our fashion choices. I love when younger people compliment my style choices. Living in the Northeast US, the seasons change quickly and clothes go out of style, even though they don’t ‘wear out’.
I love your taste in clothing and jewelry and look forward to reading your blog.
I’m so glad you’ve joined us. My clothes seldom wear out either which is why it’s more important than ever for me to buy pieces I will love for the long term.
I was completely wrong on the save or splurge!!!
It was harder than ususal this time.
We spend a lot of time in a certain seaside area in N.E. and Lilly P. is on the lips of every woman/girl of any age, if not on the lips, then on the hips (and shoulders) of most females, all ages, from the stroller to the AARP group!
This allows a certain boldness w/color and pattern and is expected in this particular area and it’s other resort areas of the like. No standing out in the bright colors and patterns b/c everyone is doing it! Come late Fall and winter, I am back to my neutrals, camel, gray, black, sometimes winter whites, which IS WHAT I do IF I choose to stand out in Winter (not often!) Unexpected ALL white in light wools and blends. All shades of white and cream can be put together (somehow!) such as cream jeans or dress slacks with a white sweater and cream peacoat and gold accessories, pearl earrings….So, that is about as bold as I get in the colder months in N.E.! I sneak peaks at all my Lilly during those cool months! IF I didn’t wear that brightness, in the warmer months, I would be the one “standing out!” š Depends on where you live!
S. M.
Excellent point! Where you live makes a huge difference in what causes you to stand out.
I dress for myself, the occasion and my mood, not someoneās reaction to me or what Iām wearing. We canāt control the behavior or others.
The two outfits in todayās post are both great! Thanks for the post. Iāve always like brown and Iām glad itās appearing for this fall.
As for my look as I age, I added a swath of bright red to my āarctic blondeā hair about 7 years ago. I did it after my hairdresser told me, when I went to get highlights, āChristine, people pay hundreds of dollars to have me dye their hair your natural colour.ā I had booked her time so I didnāt want to cancel, so on the spot I said āhow about bright red?ā and I havenāt looked back. I also like to wear a pop of colour either in a top or jacket/blazer.
How very fun. I tried a turquoise stripe several year ago but it washed out so fast it didn’t feel worth the effort. Maybe she used the wrong product on me?
Since April of 2022, I have been taking a scoop of Orgain Collagen Peptides daily in my morning coffee. My hair was getting very thin at the temples and forehead line. Now, the hair at the temples has filled in and my bangs are noticeably thicker. There is only one thing I can attribute it to the regrowth and that is the collagen peptides. Bonus: my nails have benefited as well!
I’ve been using collagen peptides in my coffee for about 2 years, too, and have seen the same great result. I also started a biotin supplement at the same time, so I wasn’t sure whether one or both of those was benefitting me.
It’s easy and effective. At 61 years old, I’m having the best hair of my life. Although the hair of my youth was always thin and wispy with lots of room for improvement. I just regret not trying it sooner.
I’ve had great results with my dermatologist regarding hair loss, with regular scalp injections. Depends on the type of hair loss, of course.
Beauty products I order on repeat: Ulta Poreless Face Primer (great stuff), Clinique Chubby Stick Cheek Balm in Amped Up Apple, and Jan Marini’s Physical Protectant, really a type of tinted moisturizer with SPF 45. Everything else varies as I search for miracles. š
I love your comment, Sharon. It often feels like we are searching for miracles.
Baby fine here also. I studied your āhairā story and purchased the Ryan Murphy product from Amazon. I must have gotten a bad one, but too late to return. It was like water, not gel, and smelled awful. Bought the Olaplex shampoo and conditioner and started taking biotin. No new growth yet. What else do you recommend? I have short hair and use a hot air brush every other day. Never could manage a dryer and round brush.
I am a big fan of using minoxydil and have found some success with it. I use the Rogains Men’s 5% liquid which never makes my hair greasy. I’ve also been told to try a laser hair cap so I am looking into which is the best one with good results.
I worked in retail for a bit, the well dressed person, always got better service, we also loved anyone smiling or amusing.
I appreciate both being seen, and not seen as the event dictates, but lean towards being seen.
Our personalities are so different, Iām not sure if age is that much of a factor, shyness/ boldness has no age, itās more of a personality trait.
Love both outfits!…Amazingly I have a lot of the components in my closet, never thought to put them together, just need some brown pants….Love the Bony Levy earrings, I do have some pieces , discovered this designer last year, well designed and priced…thinning hair is a pain, but your style is gorgeous, you do know how to work the best style….can’t wait for fall…have a great week!!!
Happy Monday, Nancy
In answer to your question in the first para, I say, “Neither.” I prefer to stand out by wearing chic and elegant clothing — I am never invisible but I am also never “look at me.” Regarding the hair dryer, infrared = heat. I think what the manufacturer is trying to get at is they use a lower level of heat than that generated by electric coils. And the splurge vs. save was given away by the shoes — faux leather — and the bag — cheaper looking hardware and design — and the bangle. This is a good lesson in the power of accessories!
Accessories can make or break any outfit!
I have no problem with standing out. When I was young, I enjoyed being the first to wear a trend, and now at 69 I love to add something dramatic to an outfit. I just purchased a pair of wide leg, faux leather ankle length pants and can’t wait for the cooler weather to put together an outfit with them.
As for beauty and skin care, I’ve been using a Neostrata cleanser and moisturizer since the spring and love it. I’ll need a new foundation soon – I haven’t worn much the last few years (I still wear a mask when I’m out) and my Laura Mercier is surely past the best by date, so I’m looking for suggestions for that. As for lipstick, my favourites right now are from Clarins.
Thanks Yvonne. Your new pants sound fabulous!
I think your hair looks beautiful. I’m jealous as my hair looked just like that before cancer. Now I keep it short and try to make sure it’s always cut to look chic. Short hair needs to be trimmed often. This time I could tell by the shoes which outfit was the splurge. Loved the outfit of the week! My friend thinks letting your hair go natural makes you look invisible. I don’t agree, I’ve gotten more compliments on my hair since after cancer I just kept it natural. I like to stand out in a crowd as looking classy and put together. I like to wear some trends that fit with my figure.
Thanks Rosemary. I like to stand out by looking classy and put together too! So mnay people don’t bother with their appearance which surprises me.
Of course weāre not going to stand out amongst all the beauty of youth. I have no problem with that. We all had our moment. Itās more important that you stand out to those you love and that is not based on how you dress. I ask, if dressing in a flashy or overtly sexy way gets you the attention you desire? Or are they looking on with laughter? If youāre a colourful or bohemian person dress that way because it makes You happy. At this stage of life we should all be comfortable in our skin.
I agree.
I like brown pants, and will be looking for some in petite size. I have a denim shirt I would like to wear with them.
I don’t dress for attention, but I think I stand out because I dress more youthful, wear make up, keep my weight down, and have a youthful hairstyle. I am finding that women over 60 in some of my social circles are letting themselves go by not dressing well, no makeup, old lady hairstyles, etc. I don’t wear clothes that have big print, loud colors, or way out there. I wear conservative clothes that fit well and stylish.
I feel like I am over dressed a lot of the time among my peers since a lot of them don’t seem to care how they look. Anyone notice this ?
Yup, I do and would prefer to appear overdressed than not take the time to look nice. When I look put together, I feel my best
Jennifer, your hair looks beautiful!
Thank you
On the topic of visibility, I donāt try to stand out, I like to be seen as a well groomed nicely dressed woman of a certain age.
The only time I feel invisible is at a department store make up counter. Trying to purchase lipstick, I waited for someone to notice me as they were all putting make up on teenage girls and didnāt give me the time of day.
My friends have experienced this too.
I have experienced that too. Itās so annoying I phoned the store manager after I left and made a point of sharing what happened.
I did too!
Oh my, your hair looks lovely! Iām definitely interested in the Zuvi dryer! I believe you have said, like me, you have fine hair. Does the dryer make your hair too soft to hold a style? Or do you use mousse/styling product as you dry? If so, which product, and what settings on the dryer? Thanks, Jennifer. I always enjoy your posts and learn so much!
I use always use Kevin Murphy styling gel on my damp hair, his Doo Over finishing spray and a short spritz of his Session Flex hairspray. Itās silkier with the Zuvi and so shiny! It feels and looks healthier which makes me feel better because itās so thin right now.
You had me going on splurge/save but I got it right. As usual, it is the accessories (the bag) that are the give away. Humans are very visual creatures. Looking nice, like you care what people think, just gets you better treatment. It is neither fair, nor in humanityās best interest to be so influenced by appearances, but that is the way it is. Leaning into it is in my best interest. I try to dress a bit more nicely than expected, neutrals with pops of color, often bright. Matching isnāt my thing, but I do carefully coordinate with a goal of looking intentional.
Iām always treated better when I take extra effort with my appearance, plus I feel better.
Are you still using Rogaine?
Yes, twice a day
You and your hair look great. My hair too has been shedding more. However, even before, if I used that brush of yours I would have no hair! I now flip my hair over and dry it, NO brush/utensil, till almost dry, but lightly damp. I then prefer to put in Velcro rollers if time permits, or gently use my big round brush for the ends. I get better volume than using my Dyson with big round diffuser (or any dryer). I am looking forward to hearing what your āhair dermatologistā had to say. I see my dermatologist next month and will discuss my hair. I never thought to ask her before. Thank you!
I find the Velcro pulls hair out too so my hairdresser warned me to be careful with them.
Iāve never been a fashion forward dresser. I worked in a conservative role in traditional organizations most of my career. Trust me, many fashion forward looks would have caused me to stand out, and not in a good way. My style was established on the conservative side and has pretty much stayed there.
What has changed is my interest in mixing things up. Iām becoming much more interested in color and accessories, both on the bold side. My casual ājeans, T shirt and blazerā comfort zone has become a bit boring to me. (These still frequently rotate in my wardrobe.) I find myself looking for more interesting options to spice this look up.
Thanks for sharing Susan
I dress to please myself rather than for attention, but since I lean towards flowy maxi dresses, kimonos or long cardigans and an armful of silver bangles I tend to stand out a bit. Iāve never felt invisible. On the other hand, in Southern California my style is not considered particularly outrĆ© so people take it in stride. Socially I am considered overdressed because others are often in tees and shorts but I donāt care (Iām just as comfortable as they are) and theyāve gotten used to me. š As for current colors, Iām an autumn and So Happy to see brown will be available! Itās such a cozy color.