Will You Still Need Me When I’m 64? (On the Topic of Anti-Aging)
Today is my sixty-fourth birthday. How the hell did that happen so fast? Today has me thinking about aging, making the most of the time we have, and how much I deplore the phrase “anti-aging.” I want to talk about pro-aging and the beauty of aging.
Last week I was approached by a brand (who will remain nameless) via my Instagram page, to try out and share what may very well be a lovely beauty product. And the moment I saw it was called an “anti-aging” face cream, I stopped reading. It was a hard stop. The phrase “anti-aging” is so offensive to me on a deep level. Do you feel the same way?
I want to look the best I can for my age, but I don’t want to lie about my age. I don’t want to anti-age. I am not ANTI-aging – I am pro-aging. When did we become a culture so obsessed with youth?
I recall always wanting to be older as I was growing up. To be older was to be cooler, more sophisticated, more interesting.
I’ll never forget the year I forgot how old I was. ALL YEAR I told everyone I was 38. I thought I was 38 deep in my soul. But then my birthday rolled around and I realized I was turning 38 and had robbed myself of my 37th year. Ha! Of course, I had tweenagers at the time, which probably accounts for a fair amount.
Now I am certainly a fan of products that can help soften the signs of aging on my skin. I’ve used Botox. I use Retin-A. I feel no shame about that. But it’s not because I want to deny that I am aging, or that aging is a dirty word or something we should hesitate or shy away from.
What a blessing it is to age – whatever that looks like for you. My mother died when she was nine years older than I am today. And on her deathbed, she spoke about regret that she had for things she had not done. And she was adventurous! But her time was cut short. Last year my daughter climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in honor of my mom, one of the dreams she couldn’t fulfill and carried a photo of her to the summit.
You often hear about people living in the moment. But that’s a hard thing to do. Not to mention this year, when we are all trapped at home (or in my case, currently in quarantine), and longing for life to get back to normal. And we can all feel our own version of disappointed, sad, and frustrated about the situation we find ourselves in with the pandemic, and the long list of other challenges happening in the world right now. But maybe this is indeed the best year for all of us to learn how to live in this moment. With the future so uncertain, we have to grab what we can and do what we love.
This is a great time to be a woman that is aging.
It is never too late to start over, to start a new health kick, a new lifestyle, a new relationship. We are only limited by our own fears, insecurities, and restrictions.
I started my own business in 2012. The year before, I could barely navigate my laptop! And these last eight years have taught me just how many opportunities are available to us – with the right amount of dedication and hard work.
Don’t allow anyone to dim your light, or limit your potential.
The truth is we are aging and it’s a great thing. We can be pro-aging and still do all we can to look our best. There is no expiration date on ambition, hope, and great style.
I love this article, and love your attitude. I’m 51, and I feel the same way you do. Enough with the obsession about being young! I am still reinventing every day and loving life. Good for you to have this focus!
I enjoy all of your articles, and love seeing the photos of your Mom and daughter. My Mom passed away in 2012, and I miss her every day. Our Moms help us define who we are!
Keep up the great writing and fashion tips, they are appreciated.
Happy Birthday! This will definitely be one you will never forget! Enjoy your time with your daughter, it’s a precious gift to have no distractions and just to spend time together.
This is the strangest year!! Thanks Joan
belated happy 64! I’m 10 yrs older already and never thought about anti/or pro aging since I read
this post. So clever explained . Now knowing the different feeling I am also for pro aging even if using anti aging products, which is nothing wrong about it.
Your mother was a great looking woman and it was touching to see her grandchild on the top of the Kili. I guess you have inherited her Genes because you look absolutly fantastic in particular
your smile (as I mentioned already in an other comment)
Thank you so much
Happiest of birthdays to you (yesterday)!
I enjoy reading your posts and seeing how you are so obviously comfortable and at ease and peace within yourself – your spirit, your look, your body.
Today’s post was so uplifting for me. I woke up and started my day feeling cranky and inadequate – for no reason at all. And this post did help me put so much of it into perspective.
I agree so wholeheartedly with you. I want to take of myself, my skin, but not in a way that I am fighting constantly with life that will go on no matter what my posture is about it.
I saw a mention above about “letting my hair go gray.” Every time I hear that it makes me so sad. Several years ago I decided I was going to stop investing so much money and time fighting something beautiful that was trying so hard to show itself to me. So instead, I decided to say I’d earned the right to wear my silver tiara. I use this any time someone mentions how afraid they are to “go gray.”
On to wardrobe issues – I have saved somewhere your post about a capsule wardrobe – which I love. Have you considered some type of chart or diagram or something where you can help address those of us who are perplexed about types of clothing for body shape?
Thank you so much for your posts and for the lovely affirmations!
Happy Birthday to you. One of my favorite quotes āDo not regret growing older. Itās a privilege denied to manyā. I am entering a new decade soon (60). I decided to let my hair go gray and wear my age proudly. I too think of how many years I have left ,as my mom died young nowadays(67). I enjoy your blog.
Happy birthday! What a wonderful message.
Happy Birthday! Your mother was a lovely woman, as are you! She would have been pleased at your daughter honoring her.
Happy Birthday to Both of Us —- Today is my 74th birthday, and I plan to continue to age gracefully, with vigor. I am fortunate to have good genes in terms of “looking my age.” But I am much more aware of a diminished lifespan ahead!
Happy Birthday Karen!!
Happy Birthday!!! You are gorgeous. I’m a year younger than you and I thought it was just me. Anti aging this and Anti aging that. It does come with a high cost. Not just to our bank accounts but our life’s journey. I wouldn’t give up a moment of the life that has shaped me or a moment of what is to come. God bless us all as we navigate our new journey. Thank you for sharing and lifting us up in this journey called life!
Lin
Happy Birthday Jennifer.
Remember, the best is yet to come.
Great post indeed! Happy Birthday Jennifer. Am 64 and landed a great job and selected over 55 applicants. They LOVE me. We can do anything with the ambition and a can-do-attitude. All the best.
Congratulations! Yes we can
HAPPY BIRTHDAY – Jennifer!
I just love aging/celebrating birthdays.
What a wonderful accomplishment your daughter did with her climb.
Recently I was in Victoria and when I went out to the hotel’s communal balcony a lady said – I think I know you. Lo and behold it was a lady I had worked with in the 70s – she left work in 1980. So I say to people I must be an ageless beauty considering she recognized me from decades ago! I’m 71 now. I do use a moisturizer at times and sunscreen. But it’s really genetics.
Enjoy your year!
Rosemarie, you must be taking care of yourself, and most important is that you have a great attitude, although like you said genetics has so very much to do with it. It is certainly wonderful to be recognized after all these years. I’ve had a few of those being recognized moments from years ago and it always makes my day. My 42 year old daughter was two when I knew that most recent acquaintance.
Happy Birthday, Jennifer! I couldn’t agree more with your stance on aging. Our culture teaches us that growing older is a curse, but if we let it, life shows us otherwise.
Jennifer, what a beautiful picture of your Mom. You look so much like her. Wishing you a very Happy Birthday and a year of good things.
Every birthday is a day for gratitude. Congratulations, and many more happy birthdays to you, Jennifer!
Happy Birthday! My Grandmother was the first “old person” I ever knew, and while she may have had wrinkles and thinning hair, she was the most energetic, vibrant person I ever met in my life. She was genuinely surprised when her health began to decline at the age of 91. Attitudes about aging have come a long way from a few decades ago and it’s because of beautiful women like you. All of us at any age should enjoy every day we have and live it to the fullest because every day really is a gift. (and if one’s idea of living to the fullest is reading a great book with a lovely cup of tea, that is perfect too.)
I hope you fully enjoy your special day.
A very happy birthday to you, and God Bless. One minute I was 36, then BOOM! Just turned 70 in April., like you, I think, where the heck did the time go?? I do have some regrets for things I should have, would have done, but all in all my life is pretty darn good right now. Lost my dad at 63, my mom at 77. Way too young and then I lost my younger brother at 69. Just my older brother, 83 and me left. I donāt like all the āanti aging ā rhetoric either. We are all aging but like one lady said it all depends how we decide to roll with it. Your mother was beautiful as you and your daughter are. Kudos to her for honoring her grandmother in such a significant and loving way, looking fir ward to your next inspiring blogš¹š¹šŗšŗ
Happy Birthday Jennifer! I love reading your blog every morning.
Your positive attitude helps me to start the day off smiling š
Thank you Tracy
Oh my gosh, I’m psychic! I haven’t visited your blog in awhile, and today you popped into my head and I thought, “I miss her! Let’s see what she’s up to!” Lo and behold, it’s your birthday!! So Happy Birthday to you!!
(PS, I wholeheartedly agree with your stance on “pro-aging”!)
Thanks Deirdre
I love Mom’s earrings! What a fabulous lady!
She was amazing!
Happy Birthday, Jennifer. Thank you for your gift to me when I discovered your blog. You have great info, special tips, challenging ideas for improvement.
I will be 80 in two weeks, but it seems impossible because I am blessed with good health and a precious family.
Enjoy your day and each day forward.
Blessings to you.
Thanks for being here, Audrey! Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday. I turned 78 in June and no one is more surprised than me that I’ve lasted this long. All the things I might have done had I but known but I kept thinking I was too old to try. Don’t fall into that way of thinking. Live life and celebrate now all the good things. Do something new, never stop learning. Like me, you never know. You could live to be a hundred. Do it now!
Happy Birthday, Jennifer! (That’s my daughter’s name!) I am 70. My parents both died in their mid-60’s. Mother, 65 and Dad, 64. So, I feel blessed to be 70.
It’s funny, when I look at old pictures of my grandparents and they were younger than I am now, they look SO old. We’re so fortunate to have so many products available, plus fun clothes (think Chico’s) that were not available then. Better skin care and hair care. You just have to take care of yourself, and I think we just lead healthier lives than previous generations.
Enjoy your time with your daughter!
Happy Birthday! I hope it is a grand and glorious day! I loved your post today and agree with everything you said. Iām so grateful I have reached this age(76) because so many donāt have that gift. My husband died unexpectedly at 57 and one of my heartaches is knowing how much he has missed. And one of my joys is knowing how much I havenāt missed.
I read your post today with tears in my eyes. With age also comes wisdom as exemplified by your words extolling us to be positive, grateful and proud to be who we are..at whatever age.
You have a beautiful soul.
Happy Birthday!
Thank you so much, Patricia xx
Happy Birthday Jennifer. I enjoyed your post today. I’ve learned many things through the years I’ve followed you and today was the best.
Thank you!
Happy Birthday, Jennifer! Cheers to you! šš„šš„š
Here here, weāll said Jennifer. Happy birthday š Cheers to you!
Happy Birthday, Jennifer! šššš
From a pro aging 72 year old.
My mother died at 45 and my oldest son died at 42. Life is sometimes short and always unpredictable. Enjoy today and love your loves for that is the best we have in this life. And look forward with hope to eternity with our Lord and the loves who went before us.
Bless you, Ann. That’s such a great reminder to live for today!
It is sad to see how many of us had moms that died too young. My mom was 71, but she had battled cancer for 4 years. I just turned 63 a week ago, and I admit that I fight this aging business as much as I can. But as long as we keep good health, thatās really all that matters, isnāt it?
Happy birthday to you! And no, I would never have pegged you as someone in their 60ās!
That is young. It really is sad! My mom died from a disease that is curable today.
Happy Birthday!! You are a beautiful lady. Thank you for the wonderful words of wisdom.
Enjoy everyday and love with all your heart!!