What to Wear to a Funeral or Memorial Service
Losing a loved one, acquaintance, or colleague is never easy, and attending a funeral, memorial, and wake can be a difficult and emotional experience. It’s a sad fact that the older we get, the more funerals we need to attend. When it comes to what to wear, it’s important to strike a balance between showing respect for the deceased and their family while also staying true to your personal style and comfort. Here are some ideas to help you select what to wear to a funeral so you’ll look respectful and appropriate while still looking stylish.
I believe we should be able to put together an outfit to wear to a funeral from what we already have in our wardrobes. These sad occasions often come up with no warning, and we need to be able to put an appropriate look together at a moment’s notice.
What to Wear to a Funeral or Memorial Service
Opt for Conservative Outfits
Funeral attire should be modest and conservative. Avoid anything that’s flashy, revealing, or attention-grabbing. A knee-length dress or a pair of dress slacks with a modest blouse is often a safe choice. Long-sleeved options are preferable, especially if the weather permits.
Do You Have To Wear Black to a Funeral?
Funerals typically call for muted and understated colors. Black is the traditional choice, but dark shades of gray, navy, brown, or deep plum are also suitable. These colors convey respect and solemnity without being too somber. The focus of a funeral is to mourn the deceased and show respect. Avoid bright colors or patterns that may be distracting or have a cheerful vibe.
Footwear For A Funeral
Funerals can be long and emotionally draining, so comfort is crucial. Avoid high heels if you’re not accustomed to them, and opt for comfortable, closed-toe shoes. If you will be going to the burial, choose footwear with block or low heels, which are more comfortable to wear on lawns.
Accessories to Wear To a Funeral
Minimalistic and tasteful accessories are best for a funeral. Avoid anything that makes noise when you move, such as a stack of bracelets or jingly earrings. You can’t go wrong with simple jewelry like pearls, stud earrings, or a delicate necklace. A scarf or shawl can add a touch of elegance and warmth. Carry a small purse or clutch with essentials like tissues, mints, and a small mirror. These items can be handy for discreet touch-ups or providing support to others in need.
Dress For the Weather
Check the weather forecast before choosing your outfit. Churches, funeral homes, and cemeteries can be cold. Bring an umbrella and dress in layers to stay warm and dry because many services also include an outdoor portion. A lightweight cardigan or jacket is easy to add or remove as needed.
How to Dress for a Funeral in Hot Weather
Black and dark colors absorb heat from the sun, so choose lightweight, breathable fabrics like linen, cotton, or chiffon. Sandals are acceptable if they are dressy and conservative. The key is to balance respect for the occasion with your comfort in the heat. It’s always better to err on the side of being slightly more formal and conservative.
/ SILVER HUGGIE EARRINGS
Things to Avoid Wearing to a Funeral
When attending a funeral, it’s essential to exercise sensitivity and respect in your choice of attire. While some of these seem obvious, I thought I’d point out a few things you should not wear to a funeral.
- Bright and Vibrant Colors: Opt for subdued, dark, or neutral colors instead of vibrant and flashy hues. Avoid clothing that draws excessive attention or appears overly cheerful.
- Casual or Revealing Outfits: Refrain from wearing casual or revealing clothing such as jeans, shorts, tank tops, or low-cut tops. Funerals are solemn occasions that call for more formal attire. Skirts and dresses should be knee-length or longer.
- Distracting Patterns or Logos: Stay away from clothing with loud patterns, slogans, or logos that can divert attention away from the solemnity of the event. Avoid overly fussy clothes you need to keep adjusting.
- Inappropriate Footwear: Avoid wearing flip-flops, sneakers, or any overly casual footwear. Opt for closed-toe shoes or, ideally, understated, closed-toe heels or flats.
- Excessive Accessories: Keep your accessories minimal and tasteful. Avoid excessive bling, oversized jewelry, or anything that might be considered ostentatious.
Most of us have pieces in our wardrobe that we can pull together to create a respectful outfit that’s appropriate for a funeral. If you lack a few pieces to complete yours, I recommend you add them to your shopping list so you are prepared.
Hello,
What color tights are appropriate to wear with a navy dress (in February)? Nude? Black? My Mom’s service is coming up. Thank you.
Sara
I’m so sorry for your loss! If you can’t find navy tights, I would wear black.
Thank you, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your reply.
I had to go to a funeral last summer on a 90 degree day. I chose a navy linen shirt dress with a breton stripe sweater tied over my shoulders. Interestingly, three separate women, including the daughter of the deceased, complimented my outfit saying it was the most weather and occasion appropriate thing they’d seen all day. I wasn’t going for style points, but it was nice to hear!
It sounds perfect!
My “rule” is to wear what I might wear to church. Fortunately, I have not had to attend a funeral since the middle of the pandemic (where it was all outside.) I do live close to a cemetery, and I see funerals happening all the time. I am amazed at some of the getups I see the guests wearing as they stand around the grave. I don’t know if it’s a California thing or what, but I have seen too many shorts and tank tops and flip flops if the weather is hot that day. People have their own idea of “respect” I guess. (On a related note, I see a lot of goofy stuff in church, too.)
Ditto, Kay
I agree with most of your posts and find this one most helpful. When Mom died she asked us to wear purple so we could rejoice with her entrance to Heaven.
It’s wonderful that she let you know what she wanted you to wear!!
Great post. Thank you so much for this.
I love your blog, but “funeral fashion” is probably the subject I would never have thought about. It’s very important to have appropriate clothing for all occasions, and your thoughts were very helpful. Yes, it is better to be prepared for what life brings. Thank you very much.
I’m glad you found this helpful, Carolyn
Jennifer, thank you!
You amaze me with the topics you cover on your blog.
You are the best and remain my favorite blogger! Carry on!
Thank you Mary Ann! You are so kind.
Great post, Jen. Keep in mind it is appropriate in some Asian cultures to wear white at a funeral. I hope folks wear red to mine, it’s my favorite color!
Please be sure to let your wishes be known about wearing red to your service!
Thanks for today ‘s post
I appreciate your thoughtful suggestions both for best choices and what not to wear.
Similar to Jo and yourself and not to sound morbid, I have always had an outfit or two (in more somber colors) with a funeral in mind and also ensured that my husband has as well. On that note; excellent guidelines Jennifer. -Brenda-
Thank you Brenda. I am not surprised to learn that you are prepared.
I think this post on funerals is very important, I’ve always worried that if anything happened to a close family member I would have nothing to wear I never see dresses in black that would be appropriate for my age I’m 68 so I am going to be on a mission to find a couple of tops that would go with black pants also a pair of shoes my feet give me so much pain these days I usually just wear sneakers. Thanks Jennifer for your post.
I’m glad this has been helpful.
Am I wrong to want people to wear bright, fun colors at my (someday) celebration of life service to honor my love of dressing in many different colors & patterns? I do wear black & dark colors to funerals but I like the idea of my friends & family wearing cheerful colors to celebrate the happy life I’ve led. Is this just too weird? I suppose everyone can choose to do what feels best to them.
It’s not weird at all. Be sure you make your wishes known.
I belong to The Red Hat Society and have been to funerals where a fellow member has made it known that she wanted her Red Hat sisters to attend in our “colors”–red hat and purple attire.
My body has changed with a thicker waist even though my weight is five pounds less. I would struggle to put something together that fits comfortably today. My husband would have to wear a nice shirt and tie as he is so much shorter and thinner than his dark suit. He wouldn’t consider getting a suit for one occasion. He is 82, very fit and slim. What do I do in this circumstance?! We live where cowboys dress in jeans, cowboy boots a white shirt and string tie to their own weddings. But if it were a situation somewhere else, he would probably refuse to go.
Thank you for your post. Unfortunately I’ve attended too many funerals in the past few years, and as a few have replied, it’s not the time to be looking for an appropriate ensemble. I’ve taken a page from the “royals” book to always have appropriate things to put together for the occasion. I’m a full figured lady and sometimes finding things in my size isn’t easy, so having something at the ready makes for less worry at a time when there are more important things to be thinking about. And I’m so with you about being thoughtful and conservative in these situations, to me it’s better to err on being more conservative. Your gracious descriptions in your post are wise and caring. Even though today’s subject is not something we love thinking about, it’s good to have your guidance.
I’d rather be more conservative too. Thank you Kathleen.
I have a question on this subject. I have been notified of 2 upcoming “Celebration of Life” events. These are being held 4-5 months after the death. What is appropriate for this kind of event? Would love to hear your thoughts. I’ve been thinking black pants with a white double breasted blazer that has gold buttons. Would accessorize with gold jewelry and maybe shoes. Wondering if that is too “happy” or showy or glitzy?? Thank you.
Celebrations of life tend to be less somber. I think your outfit sounds perfect. Formal yet friendly.
Sadly, I have seen some truly horrifying outfits at funerals recently (I will spare you the descriptions) and I am determined to not be that person. But this is a good reminder for me to check my conservative black dress to see if it still fits properly. Like Janet, I am more likely to go the black slack/dark top route, but I just want to be prepared. Thanks for your well written and varied topics.