Why I’m Going Gray
Happy Wednesday ladies. As the title suggests, Iāve decided to see whatās happening with my hair color so I’m going gray. I havenāt been happy with the color of my highlights and their tendency towards brassiness for many years, so about 6 months ago, I decided to go cold turkey.
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I canāt say Iām going just gray, because whatās growing in, looks more like an ashy pewter gray. My hairstylist tells me itās a combination of shades that includes some silver strands, ash blonde, and pure white. The overall effect looks darker in my bathroom lights and almost unnoticeable in other lights. Have you noticed the change?
My hair texture has definitely changed. I really miss the volume I got from coloring my hair. When you use bleach, it swells the hair shaft by opening the cuticle which adds volume. For a woman with thin, baby fine, poker-straight hair, thatās a big deal. It’s a lot flatter now too so I’m adjusting how I style it and trying to get used to the change.
Because I was a light blonde with highlights, I’m not dealing with a solid demarcation line where it’s growing. I am still dealing with the moth-eaten look and in some lights, I could be confused for a woman who has just given up. That gorgeous natural gray hair I envisioned just hasn’t shown up yet. I wonder if it will.
Natural brunettes would be hard-pressed to go gray the way I am without having their hair colorist make some adjustments. My stylist wanted to use a toner to help with the transition but I decided against it until I see what I have naturally.
I’ve got a ways to go before I see the full effect of my new, natural hair color, but I’m already changing my hair care products. I’m now using a purple shampoo every day and more conditioner but my hair is still not as shiny as it used to be. The reflective quality of the gray strands is quite different than highlighted hair.
Most hairspray also has a matte finish and I use it every day which makes my hair look dull. The shine products and glosses usually have an oily component to them which is fatal for fine hair. I did order a few things to try and will let you know how they work out.
In other news- we attended several holiday get-togethers last weekend and now that I’m letting my hair grow out, all I see are women who’ve done the same. I noticed something interesting at one event. The women who are maintaining their original dark brown hair, look older than the women who have lightened it or allowed it to lighten on its own. As we discussed earlier this week, our contrast changes as we age and that involves our hair color.
You might enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Many who are gray are wearing their hair in a pixie cut which is not a great look with my broad shoulders and square jaw. I’ve been looking for haircut ideas on Pinterest and Instagram, but for now, I don’t want to do anything drastic. One big change at a time is enough for me.
Now that I’ve started this, I’m anxious to get to the finish line. I’ve already decided that if I don’t like the results, I can always go back to the salon for color. Going gray is a personal choice each woman makes based on her lifestyle, upkeep of color, finances, and health concerns. It’s our privilege to go gray or not, and I encourage us to support other women’s choices.
How about you. Have you gone gray? How easy was the process?
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
Yes, I went completely gray at age at 55 and am happy about it. I did have to adjust my clothing and make-up but it was a smooth transition. I won’t be going back to coloring my hair every 6 weeks.
I think the color looks great, Jennifer!
Like you I have very fine hair, and have hesitated to let the natural color take over in part because I’d lose the volumizing effects of color. Hope you’re able to find some products that work for you!
What a great post! I went gray during Covid, and what a relief to skip the monthly color process. I noticed that my part was looking a little wide, and at my daughter’s recommendation started using the Multi-Peptide Serum for Hair Density by The Ordinary Hair Care. It really works. My hair is nearly white in the front, salt and pepper in the back. I’m still a “winter,” but look best in very saturated blues and greens — black not so much anymore.
Thanks for your daily advice. I read a number of “over 50” blogs, and yours is by far the most useful and enlightening.
I think you and I have very similar skin tones and possibly hair type. For the latter I wear a style as Susan (below) describes but may be even shorter in the back which I find extremely easy to keep. As to color; I do dye my hair myself and have for years (L’Oreal Preference Scandinavie) a light blonde but as I have gray coming in does not resemble what one sees on the box as more of a silver blonde. Products I use that have proven beneficial are that of the AG brand which actually Amazon now carries. (AG Hair Color Care Sterling Silver Toning Shampoo (its purple) as well as their Conditioner ‘Light’ Therapy.) On that note; I convinced a friend of mine who has much darker natural and coarser hair with streaks of gray to try the same products and she is so pleased with the results that she has decided to let nature takes its course and go entirely gray. -Brenda-
I have followed your “hair story” for quite some time vis a vis the thinning issue and products to try. Letting my hair go natural is the best thing I’ve ever done (despite a few issues.) After open heart surgery at age 78, necessitating a longer time between salon visits resulting in a demarcation line, I decided to just give it a try. My natural hair color was very dark brunette but I’d been coloring in various ways since my mid 30’s. At the time of surgery the color was a auburn shade and the length was quite short. My last color was Dec. 26, 2017, and the next time in the salon was 12 weeks later. I wanted to grow it out as quickly as possible so went with an even shorter hair cut (kind of spiked) and kept it trimmed until the color grew out in July. I didn’t like the fading color nor did I like the super short cut but I did love my natural color. It turned out to be white in front going to silver on top and kind of a silver/white mix in back. I did NOT enjoy the lack of body after the color was gone but did let my hair grow. Finally after about 6 months, there was enough hair to choose a style in late 2018….kind of a short bob…shorter in back than in front and layers on top help a bit to add body. It has now been 3 years since the style evolution and I’d still like more body but the current issue is that the color isn’t as white/silvery in front as it started. I’ve used purple shampoo and conditioner since the start and, for a while, we thought my hair had accidentally absorbed a tinted sunscreen. It didn’t seem to be growing out though so my stylist bleached that small area and lo and behold…the color didn’t change one bit!! What doesn’t bleach out???? So, I’m changing shampoo brands and hoping for the best. I also am losing more hair as time goes on and believe that has to do more with age than anything else. I now believe that the artificial color definitely made me look older and, like you, I see this in my peers who still color their hair but it’s what we each see in the mirror is our driving force. I’m on a fixed income and love having some extra dollars to use for other self care and, until the Pandemic, to go to Broadway every couple of months. So that’s my hair story. I’ve read all of the above comments and appreciate what you and others are sharing.
I went gray about five years ago for the same reason as you are. The hair coloring was becoming brassy and honestly, I was just getting tired of the upkeep. I did cut my hair shorter initially and used a gray highlight to keep it somewhat natural looking while it grew in. Since then I have had my hair in so many different lengths (especially during the height of the pandemic) . Now it’s about the same length I had for years. I have recently begun to put low lights in because my hair has become the same shade of silver with no depth. It looks wonderfully natural and I get lots of compliments. Hang in there. I think you will love it once the process is complete.
At the beginning of the pandemic, I decided it was a good time to just grow out my natural color. My hairdresser had been coloring it a medium blonde color using the “weave” technique, so the hair color was never on my scalp. She also had matched the “tone” of the color with my natural color, so I really never had that demarcation line.
I love it and get many compliments on it. The color is a silvery gray with darker undertones. My hair is fairly thick but very fine. It is also curly, and that has helped. I have been very please at how much shinier it is then when I colored it.
As a child my hair was very blonde, then it came in very dark brown, almost black. In my fifties, when grey came in I colored it back to the dark brown. Then I highlighted it. Then when I turned 60, I had all color bleached out. It came in a very light blonde. With Covid, I let it go natural. Perfect timing and I even learned to trim it myself. So the process was not as distressing as I thought it would be and I like my hair a lot. I especially like that a trip to the salon for A trim is about 30 minutes!. My hair is very white in front with white streaks against black in the back. Most people barely noticed the change. My hair is still thick and I keep it short and spikey. A good product with shine keeps it looking modern.
Glad to hear youāre embracing your gray! I let my hair go gray throughout my 50ās (now 64). My gray is more of a platinum gray versus salt and pepper or white. Iāve always had fine hair but a lot of it. Now it feels more fragile and flyaway and it takes more effort to get volume. A big round brush helps. I was using purple shampoo every day but found it to be drying so now I only use it once or twice a week. Iāve liked Hair Biology Shampoo and Conditioners. Iāve also had to adjust my hairstyle. For the first few years as I grayed, a medium length shag style cut worked just fine but in the last few years Iāve found that a layered bob gives more fullness. It definitely takes some experimentation with this graying process. Hang in there!
A friend did the transition during the lockdowns. She has since added some silver low lights to give dimension and some body to her new look.
I’m still colouring every 7 or 8 weeks. My hairdresser applies a multi colour process to my ashy dark blonde greying hair. I am 66 and might re asses after I turn 70.
Most of my friends and family still colour their hair. The odd ones who let the grey come in look a bit washed out unless they have brown eyes and warm colouring. Those people seem to look good with grey.
I’m not stopping!!š
I ditched the dye in my early 50s, about 13 years ago. My husband is a natural blonde with very little gray so I worried about looking older than him.
He was very supportive so I pressed forward and never looked back.
My natural color was dark brown and I dyed it every 2 to 3 weeks. Going natural was the most freeing experience.
I believe women look much lovelier with their natural color.
Mine is mostly white with silver streaks and is now shoulder length.
I get many compliments on my hair color these days!
Enjoy Shine and Smooth from Amazon, makes my hair shiny, I love it!
I quit coloring my hair 4 years ago and although I think it ages me a bit (Iām 67) , I wouldnāt go back to coloring at all. A lot of things changed, which Iām still getting used to, such as hair texture, hair care products ( my hair is silver and a lot of products give it a yellow tint), wardrobe colors and hair styling. Itās been an interesting, and sometimes frustrating journey, but it has been one of the most freeing things Iāve ever done. Iām now in the process of just letting it grow long to see where that leads. Iām thinking back to my hippie days of long hair that I can pull back into a ponytail. Why not?
Why not indeed! Try it
I am in the process of going gray also. My hairdresser is doing a great job of blending my white, silver, formerly highlighted hair.
A great product is Enjoy Shine and Smooth, I get from Amazon. I love it!
Donāt change your hairstyle, it is very flattering!
I have been grey now for about five years and now l am 57 l canāt see myself changing. It did take a while to fully except it as other women friends continued to dye their hair and l thought looked better than me in the process, but now l have reached a place of liking my look. I went to a hair specialist a year ago for thinning and bald patches and l take prescription drugs for that and multivitamins and it is helping. Part of my journey now is keeping it short in a bob cut and playing around with statement earrings for fun š
Your hair looks very pretty. I thought you had already gone gray.
My hair is a chin length bob, straight and fine, thinner on top than the sides. I have it slightly layered. I am 90% gray ,but color. there is no salt and pepper, mostly flat white/yellow grey. I am not sure when I will stop coloring. It gives me color around my face, and my hair body on top. I use Age Beautiful from Sally’s. I just do my roots and then pull it through the last 5 min. , the ends look highlighted. I use medium or dark blonde. My hair is not dry at all. Going lighter than what we had when we were younger is softer and more flattering.
I think shorter layered would work for me except I think it would lay flat and then I
would have to use curling iron on it all the time.
Several of my friends have gone grey, but to tell you the truth, most don’t look good. I think the hair style is a lot of the problem. Also not everyone’s hair is even or looks like the models online. I have heard that grey is hard to keep up , because if it is white, it tends to look flat and dull or yellow. I am sure the purple shampoo helps this.
I think yours looks good, and looks great on you. You have the blue eyes and coloring for it.
I too have toyed with ditching the highlights and embracing the gray. I have colored my hair for years, ever since I had a paycheck and some disposable income.
As I get older, I feel like our society has an ‘ageist cluture’ where we feel pressure to look younger, or not be taken seriously. During the pandemic, I have tried to focus on staying well by eating right and exercising regularly. How we are perceived matters not a wit when we are happy in ourselves and healthy.
I have a co-worker who calls her gray hair ‘her wisdom coming out’!!
I think you look lovely Jennifer and you inspire me daily.
Love you are sharing your hair journey with us. I have fine, medium blonde, straight hair like yours. I recently went a few months without touch up and found my hair is totally white on the top and front of my head while the back is a dark gray. Not the look I was hoping for. I decided to color it for the christmas holidays. Perhaps will try in the new year.
Thsnks for sharing.
The grey is wonderful! I’m a clear winter…fair skin, dark hair and dark eyes. At 42, I gave up on color. The recommended warm highlights dulled my complexion and the dark color looked artificial. At 55 my hair is so healthy, fine curls that don’t like being longer than chin length. (oh yeah, for how long I thought chin length curls were bushy….not with a good cut, much better then cutting them all off or having long stringy ones!) It looks different depending on the lighting and that’s okay. I’ve incorporated more blue-based clothing and pinker makeup. Personally, I think a great cut is more important than color. As our hair ages, a fresh cut can make loads of difference. Every 2-years I go to a different stylist….tell them my no fuss manner of doing my hair….and let them play. It’s funny how we “routinely” guide a stylist to the same haircut which if often the issue. We have preconceived ideas of the proper length, part or angle based on habit or our body shape. Many times the look is nearly similar, sometimes one subtle trim at the temples opens my small face, (5’8 and wear petite eye glasses, who knew!) A fresh stylist who is instructed on how much you’re willing to invest in care can offer several suggestions. Enjoy the journey!
What a great idea! I’m doing the same thing with stylists but only because I haven’t found someone who really knows how to cut my hair. Your curls sound wonderful.
We have the same hair colour, although I do have a lot of hair, very fine and straight as a pin. I stopped colouring it about a year ago, after many years of highlighting.
I use Keratase pink shampoo and conditioner. This has strengthened my hair and prevents breakage. I also use the complementary strengthening spray before I blow dry. I also cut my hair , after many years in a bob, it is now layered on top and shorter on the sides. I stopped using the purple shampoo as it dulled my hair. I think it is a great shampoo for women who have gray hair rather than the blondish shades.
Thank you, Brenda. I’m excited to try the pink shampoo. It makes sense that blonde/gray would benefit from a different shampoo.
I think you look terrific! It has been very nice to see women letting go of the high maintenance hair coloring since the pandemic. I gave it up about five years ago, and feel pretty good about having left harsh chemicals and maintenance behind. I do use a subtle purple conditioner once every other week to keep down the brassiness. Every wash seemed too often to me.
Hi Jennifer,
I think you will look beautiful with gray hair, you will have to see if you are comfortable with the look and
the texture and how you will be able to style it. Growing out is the challenging part, you will have to be patient. You can always wear a wig in the mean time. Embracing change is not always easy. Good luck to you.
Going gray was one of the most freeing things I have done.. Although I have worn jaw length for years, I too have let mine grow to below the chin and have found that to be very freeing as well. Very recently I have cut bangs and wear them straight down. Love this style and itās so easy. The straight bangs wouldnāt work if my hair was shorter because I have a square jaw.
Good morning Jennifer, I agree with so many of the comments in your post this morning. You look awesome and yes, there will be some significant changes and process of “getting used to” your new look. I am 73 and stopped doing reverse highlights in my hair in my early fifties! Originally I had beautiful auburn hair. I have white hair! I get lots of compliments but have worked hard at hair styles, makeup, and complimentary clothing styles. It wasn’t easy at the time but I have very healthy hair and now quite proud of my white hair! Sending encouragement! I read your posts daily and thank you for all the time you spend researching and shopping and posting to help the rest of us! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Hi Jennifer, I’m so interested to see how you get on with this. I have blonde highlights, only twice a year usually, and when they grow out I see a sprinkling of silver/grey among the natural dirty blonde (and yes, I have that line). I was just thinking the other day that I might skip the highlights next time they are due. I, too, have fine hair, very straight, and I’m also concerned that without colour it will be flatter than ever.
Good luck, please keep us posted on your ‘journey’! (I love the comments too, very inspiring and helpful!)
I went grey almost at the first sign of grey. It didnāt take long for it to turn silver. I love my silver hair and you will too. If it looks Ash right now you are blessed. Ash blondes or ash browns like I was, turn a pretty silver, everyone else gets brassy or an actual grey color. Itās our revenge for them calling us dirty blond. LOL
I just use a good shampoo and conditioner. The all in one. It is important to use conditioner to help the shine but a separate shampoo and conditioner weighed down my hair. Donāt use hair spray. Get a cut so you donāt need to style. Just blow and go.
Be careful with a daily use of the purple shampoo! My stylist recommends once a week because after a while the buildup will start to show and your hair will have a violet tinge. Unless that’s the look you are going for!
Thank you for the heads up. I donāt want purple hair
Ok, you do not EVER look like a woman who has just given up! I went “natural” during lockdown and have not looked back. Frankly, I do not miss the brassy look (particularly noticeable in photographs) and I get more positive feedback now on my hair color (or colors) than I ever did when I colored it. Same for friends who have gone gray in recent years–they are stunningly beautiful and actually look younger–just like you.
I decided to let nature take itās course 4 years ago when I retired! Best thing I ever did! Love my hair colour which is a silver, white combo! My hair is very fine and thinning but I have started to use a shampoo, conditioner, & treatment system that I actually think is working! Itās called Ethica! My hair does seem thicker! I do alternate with a blue shampoo from Loma to get rid of yellow! I do use Puff Me texturizing spray and Gloss Me hair serum but very little! And I think you look great and I didnāt really notice the change!