Helpful Personal Safety Tips for Women You Should Know
I like to think Iām on top of my game when it comes to protecting myself, but a recent event opened my eyes to just how easy it is for women to become victims of theft, assault, harassment, or worse. After I talked about this last week, AWSL readers came to the rescue with a list of helpful personal safety tips for women. I hope that their wise words about being situationally aware, along with some additional tips and security tools that I found while researching, will help you be vigilant, prepared, and equipped so that you can be smart and safe both at home and while in public places.
Several readers also suggested this Gift of Fear book, and I’m so glad you did. It’s eye-opening in so many ways. I think every woman should read it.
Tips to Protect Yourself at Home
I know many of us might be aware of our surroundings when we are walking alone at night in a busy downtown area, but what about when we are at home? I know I tend to relax and let my guard down when I am at our house, but researching this post reminded me just how many home burglaries occur annually in the United States (hint: it’s in the millions!). To be more specific, a home burglary happens every 30 seconds in the United States. This is such a wake-up call, but fortunately, there are ways to enjoy your home and feel safe and secure while still remaining vigilant and aware.
#1 Reinforce Window and Door Locks
Have you ever heard the saying that a lock only keeps an honest man out? Locking your windows and doors is a no-brainer, but it’s smart to protect your home from intruders by reinforcing window and door locks. Did you know that sliding doors and windows, as well as french doors, are notorious for being an easy entrance for burglars? Adding an additional security measures like these sliding door and window locks is an affordable solution.
#2 Install a Security System
Luckily even if it isn’t in your budget to have an expensive security system installed by a major company, you can find affordable and reliable security monitoring systems online. From cameras pointed at your entrances like these outdoor cameras from Blink to systems that notify you if your doors or windows are opened, it’s easy to add an additional set of eyes and ears to your home.
#3 Don’t Share Too Much on Social Media
Nothing makes your home a sitting duck quite like announcing to the masses when you are out of town. Instead, I like to share photos of a recent vacation after I return home. I also am very cognizant of sharing photos of my home exterior or images that contain any personal information like my address online. My daughter suggested I share photos after I’ve left a location, so that’s what I do now.
#4 Be Aware When Entering, Exiting, and Opening the Doors to Your Home
I try to be very aware of my surroundings when I’m opening an exterior door to my house because you never know when someone is lurking around waiting for an opportunity to gain access to you or your home. I always look through the peephole before answering the door, and Iāll even use our ring system speaker to speak to someone if I donāt want to open the door. When I return home from an errand or day out of the house, I pull into the garage and close the overhead door before unlocking my car and going into the house. Make sure to lock your car (especially if you have a garage door opener in your car!) and bring your car keys inside.
#5 Close Your Curtains and Blinds or Add a Window Film
You may think that “Peeping Toms” are a thing of the past, but they definitely still exist. Make sure you are closing your curtains or window blinds at night when you switch on the lights. If you have a large glass exterior door you cannot add blinds or a curtain to, you can add a privacy film like this to help prevent this disgusting invasion of your privacy.
#6 Hide Proof of Expensive Purchases
We’ve all seen the thieves on the news that snatch packages directly off of someone’s porch during the holidays. Did you know you can specify which door of your home you would like your packages delivered to (like a back porch or a side entrance)? You can even buy a special box to have your packages placed in so they aren’t sitting on your front porch or stoop catching a dishonest person’s eye. I also recommend not displaying empty boxes from expensive purchases. An empty television box sitting on the curb for recycling day is like an advertisement for a burglar.
Shop Safety Devices to Help You Stay Safe At Home:
Personal Safety Tips and Tools for Women in Public
As I shared last week, I was recently the victim of a car break-in where our window was smashed, and one of my favorite tote bags was taken from the floor of the vehicle. I was fortunate that I had my credit cards and cell phone safely with me, but many aren’t so lucky.
Even worse than car break-ins are the daily news reports of women being harassed, assaulted, kidnapped, or worse while they are doing mundane activities like exercising, running errands, or returning to their car from dinner. I hate that we, as women, have to put so much effort into returning home unharmed, but I hope that today’s tips and safety devices will help you stay safe and aware as you go out into public.
#1 Be Aware
Your eyes and ears are your greatest tools to help you stay safe in a public environment. Make sure your eyes are on your surroundings and not looking down at your phone. I love using my Airpods to listen to an audiobook or a podcast, but Iām situationally aware enough only to wear one earbud when walking outside. Limit your distractions and obtain a higher level of awareness. If you like to have an adult beverage with dinner or visit a brewery or bar on occasion, please be cognizant of your drink at all times or use a drink cover like this one if you’re in a crowded venue.
This includes being aware as you are leaving your destination as well! AWSL reader Cindy suggested looking into your backseat before getting in your car to make sure someone isn’t sitting back there waiting for you to return, and Yvonne mentioned parking near a light pole so she doesn’t have to approach her car in the dark.
#2 Be Prepared
Make sure your phone is fully charged. Inform yourself about current events and anticipate risks, like a large political rally, a road closure, or your tire going flat.
One AWSL life reader, Kim, says she makes sure to keep her car gas tank at least half full. This is a great idea and prevents you from having to stop at a shady gas station after dark or end up on the side of the road stranded with an empty tank. A great tip Lin added is to lock your passenger car door while you’re getting gas because it’s so easy for someone to open the door to grab your wallet or purse.
Several readers suggested if you’re going to be getting out of your car without your purse that, you should put the bag into your trunk before leaving for your destination so that nearby thieves don’t see where you are placing your belongings. If you are going to leave your purse in the car and not the trunk, don’t do what I did and leave it on the floorboard. Slide it under a seat or cover it with a jacket. This also applies to your purchases! I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard of that get their car broken into while they are shopping because their shopping bags were in plain sight.
#3 Let Friends and Loved Ones Know Where You’re Going
Whether you choose to let a loved one have access to your location or if you just check in when arriving and leaving your destination, be in communication with someone who will contact authorities if they do not hear from you by a certain timeframe. I would take it one step further and invite a friend or loved one to go with you! We’ve all heard of the buddy system and probably preached it to our children while they were growing up, but it’s a valuable safety tip that can help keep you safe as well.
#3 Equip Yourself
There are safety devices that a female can discreetly carry with them in the case of an attack. I like to carry a personal alarm on my keychain. This tool has a loud siren and a flashing strobe light to get people’s attention and to scare off the person with ill intent. AWSL reader Linlee says she carries a high-powered whistle around her neck. I like to carry a small can of pepper spray when walking the trails near my house, but it would be a smart addition to your bag when you are going anywhere alone, like a hotel or walking back to your car from dinner. Stun guns are legal in most states in the United States if you feel comfortable handling that type of tool.
If you’re staying the night in a hotel or an Airbnb, give yourself a little extra piece of mind with a tool to keep your door safely locked, like this portable door lock or this door stop alarm.
If you’re concerned about valuables being stolen, you can always place an Airtag or tracking device in a discreet location. However, I believe I would pass along the tracking information to the authorities rather than chase my stolen items myself!
#4 Leave the Flashy and Expensive Items at Home
Be subtle in what jewelry and accessories you choose when you’re out and about by yourself or at night. You don’t want to be wearing or carrying any type of accessory that is going to make a thief interested in you. In that same vein, be careful having an expensive camera around your neck as a tourist in a busy city or carrying a tablet or laptop where it can be seen by the public.
#5 Take Self-Defense Classes
If you are physically fit enough, I highly encourage you to enroll in a self-defense class. It’s absolutely priceless to be able to protect and defend yourself from an assailant.
Shop Safety Devices to Help You Stay Safe in Public:
Is there anything else you can recommend that I haven’t mentioned here?
Excellent post. Have now ordered a couple of the items you mentioned. Better to be prepared!
Stay safe, Edith, I agree with you.
Very helpful and informative post, Jennifer!
For places that I go regularly, I try to park in the same area (near the same light pole, on the same line of parking spaces, etc.) whenever possible. This keeps me from walking out the door of the establishment and looking around the parking lot for my car. I can head quickly for my car instead of wandering. Before I exit the store I put my keys on a stretchy band on my wrist where the “unlock button” is easy for me to reach and my arthritic hands don’t have to juggle unnecessary items. I also think about which shopping bag would pack the most punch if I had to swing it at someone – that one goes on my right arm or in easy reach in the cart. I lock the door immediately when I get inside.
Very smart, Melanie! I love these ideas. Thank you for sharing them.
So agree that awareness is the key to personal safety. That being said another means to curtail abduction is; in event that you find yourself in the need of a cab service it is best to prearrange, or ensure that prior to closing the vehicle door that it actually is one.
-Brenda-
Thanks for the tip re programming of door locks. I need to check if I can do it on my car. I never get into the car without checking if anyone is in the back. Iāve taught my kids (a son and daughter) to always be aware of whatās around them, what people are wearing etc. In case they need to report if something happens. Iāve also told them to never leave a friend on their own, if they need to use public toilets to always go together, have heard shocking stories of young children allowed to go on their own and been assaulted (in Australia).
I agree. That’s happened in the US too. I never let my children go into a public restroom alone.
Several of my nieces have had the same experiences in their local CA Targets as Lezlie. They were followed around in the store, and so they alerted an employee who immediately had security involved. Another time in the same Target parking lot a niece was followed by several men who she felt were attempting to abduct her. She raced to her car, locked herself in and as she drove away the men actually started banging on her car (too bad she didnāt run them over!). She drove to a nearby fire station, and the firemen called the police. Now the girls never go to Target alone. So very frightening, but thankful that they are always alert just as we should be.
She was smart and lucky!! That’s a very frightening experience. We need to teach our younger girls to be careful too.
Great post. Thank you for researching this and pulling it all together for us. One thing I would like to note is that you are modeling for us an important and positive response to your unsettling experience of having your car broken into — you took action to learn how to be safer yourself, and now you are sharing information and helpful products with all of us.
I want us all to be safe and aware. I’m glad this post was helpful
Thank you, this is a great post. I am a retired probation officer and am very aware of safety. Even in this day and age many women are too trusting and polite. Never let a stranger into your house. If somebody is at the door and wants help tell them, you will call the police to come and help them. I have motion lights around my house. A policeman friend said that my small, alert and yappy dog was a great deterrent as criminals are usually opportunists and will skip a house that has a noisy dog.
I agree, a noisy dog is a great deterrant.
Thank you, Jennifer, for excellent reminders. I feel more vulnerable every year, at least in part because my physical condition unfortunately doesnāt improve with age! I read an eye opening book several years ago called Left of Bang about a strategy used by the US Marine Corps. If we view an attack or crime on a timeline, and ābangā is the moment of that attack, then keeping āleftā of it means adjusting situational awareness to stay ahead of that point in time. For law enforcement and service members, that means different things than to a retired lady like me when out shopping, certainly. But as it is always more desirable to be proactive than reactive when it comes to safety, that metaphor has returned to my mind countless times. Unfortunately we can never outthink every danger. Trusting our instincts is crucial, but so is informing our instincts! Great topic, I really appreciate your insight.
I think our intuition is so important! We need to relearn trusting it.
I want to second the idea of keeping your gas tank at least half full. There are a number of scenarios where having enough gas to get away is critical. I am thinking of wildfires but really any emergency that requires you to get away is so important. I just read about dust storms in Arizona. Can you imagine needing to pump gas in a dust storm? Would the power be out at the gas station? Stay safe and best wishes for all of you dealing with this terrible heatwave.
Annie
Great point! Stay safe, Annie
I remember when Gaven DeBecker was on Oprah with his book the Gift of fear, way back in the day. I always told my daughter to trust her instincts, and don’t worry about being polite..I think generally woman our age are doing better about raising our kids/grandkids to have better boundaries and to speak their mind, instead of being polite at all times/situations..which was how I was raised ..
My mother was paranoid about everything. We lived in a fortress. We were not allowed to go much of anywhere in public. We lived in the dark. Fortunately, her paranoia did not pass on to me. (She was mentally ill, with a diagnosis and treatment.) If I had given her that book, she would have dissolved into a puddle of fear. Of course we should be aware and take sensible precautions, but living life in dread of some catastrophe that might happen at any minute is harmful. There must be some balance to allow joy into life.
I’m sorry to hear that Kay. It must have been so hard for you. I completely agree. We need to be cautious and aware, but needn’t live in fear. His book offers us insight so we can be aware and listen to our instincts.
I agree! But then it might be where I live. Iāve never felt unsafe in my neighbourhood/town. I donāt want to live in fear, either. It will make your world smaller if youāre afraid to venture out during the day or evening, nervous when you gas up, on edge while you walk, afraid to go to the mall or to travel. Then again, I donāt live in a big city or in the states, not to say Canada is any safer. I am aware of my surroundings while travelling. Pick pockets are rife in Europe and those to take advantage of your sex or frailty everywhere on the streets. I refuse to live in fear because that is no way to live your life to the fullest.
I agree. I think the best scenerio is to live with heightened awareness, not fear.
Jennifer, this article is excellent in every way and so timely! Thank you for the time you put into researching and writing up this information and for keeping us cognizant of such an important topic. I was reminded of so many safety tips, and that’s a GOOD thing! Plus, I learned a few more. I didn’t know, for example, that you can buy containers for packages that will be delivered to the doorstep to hide the packages from bandits until you return home or can retrieve them. I suppose that one day, along with our mailboxes, we will have a better-developed package delivery system, but until that time comes, it’s certainly something to think about….as is everything else you’ve mentioned. Blessings! ~Pam
I got a PO box because there are so many porch pirates in our area. Especially around the holidays
Thanks for this very helpful post. We have SimpliSafe and weāre told to have it turned on to Home when we are in the house and Away when we leave to shop or for an appointment or trip. Only turn off to exit or enter the house say to put out the trash bins. We just added another camera to our system to a blind spot we became aware of because of a vandalism in our neighborhood. Elders look like they would be easy gullible marks but we can be very careful and savvy about safety precautions. Thank you for some more information on this life saving subject.
I havenāt heard of that. Iāll have to look into it. I agree. Seniors are preyed on more because they seem like an easier mark.
Great ideas Jennifer. A security expert said to use a door jam in hotel rooms to prevent anyone entering uninvited. Our house is pretty secure, with 6 foot high fences on all boundaries, electric gates, an intercom system, burglar alarm, windows locks and a anti slash mesh security front screen door. Same for most of the homes in my street. As for personal safety, I feel pretty safe during the day walking around, but not so much at night. On a lighter note, my biggest threat at the moment is being swooped by magpies when walking as they can cause serious injuries.
A door jam is a great idea! Be careful of the birds š
I have an uncomfortable situation with a neighbor that moved in behind me a couple years ago. He drives very slowly past my house several times a week, nearly stopping in the road to look at my house. He also will come out into his backyard and just stand there for several minutes, looking at my house. Then he’ll peer around my bushes trying to see if I’m outside. He’ll go to his backdoor and turn and look towards my house again. It’s soooooo creepy. I could put up a wooden fence, but that seems not very subtle. Not sure how to navigate this. Any thoughts/suggestions?
Thatās not right. Donāt worry about being subtle!! Do what you need to do. His watching is creepy. Any suggestions ladies? I think Iād register a complaint with the local police.
That is SUPER CREEPY! Call the police. There was a man in our city who was doing this a couple of years ago. He stayed in the public street and didn’t venture onto the person’s property, and there wasn’t much the police could do, but if he’s peering around your bushes, then he is trespassing on your property, possibly stalking you, and I don’t know what else. I believe the police can take action in this situation. Again, super creepy. Prayers for your protection until you can get this resolved.
I hire a private investigator to learn all I could about him. And a PI can also offer advice on how to handle the situation.
Great suggestion, Donna.
Thatās so creepy. Iād also complain to the police. If nothing else, they might have some good advice about what to do and there would be a report on the books. Reading other comments about flashlights, I think Iād get a very powerful one & shine it in his face. Maybe even a laser. You could say you were playing with the cat. š¼
I agree, you need to do something.
The link for the book take you to a Nordstrom page.
Sorry, I fixed it. The book is here
Check out super bright mini-flashlights, sold under the Big Larry brand (available on Amazon). Good to keep in a car, as there is a āflashing modeā and the end of the flashlight is magnetic so if you have car trouble, you can set it to flash and mount it on your car. In a power outage, they are bright enough to illuminate an entire room, so would also be very helpful on a dimly lit street. I bought the first one when we were buying our Christmas tree 4 or more years ago, the man who owned the garden center said he gave one to each of his college-age daughters. I have since given them as gifts. There are now several variations on the product so you may have to scroll through some choices to get the one with the features you value most.
Thank you Sheila. I looked and can’t find it. Can you share a link?
I spent most of my adult life living in large cities, riding public transportation. One of my pet peeves is women putting their purses and backpacks down on the floor of a crowded subway or bus, and then losing focus. It takes one second for a departing rider to grab your bag and disappear into the station. If you must put your bag down, put your leg through the strap. This works standing or sitting, and is especially valuable in a crowded, standing-room-only situation.
Great point. I see women turning their backs on their purse often and it’s not smart
I don’t want to further scare people, but if you have skylights in your home, be sure the covers are bolted on. My aunt’s house was burglarized twice — the second time WITH an alarm system — because the thieves removed and entered the house through the skylights. If you go up on the roof and check, most covers can be easily pulled off. So, consider them additional windows and be sure they are locked.
Oh wow, I never thought of that. Thanks for mentioning it Bette
May I addā¦. Even when you are at home, keep your doors locked. I have heard of situations where a perp simply tried the door and walked into the house while the unsuspecting homeowner was there.
Yes! I always do. It’s just smart
I often gift The Gift of Fear because it is a lifesaver. When he wrote that fear is a gift so trust it, I realized how often women override their own instincts. I have sometimes felt a little fearful of getting in an elevator with someone or felt someone was following me in a dark parking lot. āOh, Sandra , donāt be silly?ā Yes, be silly. Better than robbed, raped, killed. I can live with dilly. Great book recommendation.
Iāve said that to myself too. We have to listen to our intuition.
Such a great book. I believe that everyone can benefit from reading it.
Good morning! And such good ideas for being aware. I am ordering the key chain right now as I park in a semi-remote lot when I work. I always park next to the street so my car has more visibility to others. Still, the lot makes me nervous.
One tip I’m sure you mentioned was to carry a cross body bag!
When I shop I only take bare necessities and keep the bag on even when I get in the car. There are so many parking lot thieves looking for an opportunity.
Thank you Jennifer for the very helpful and unfortunately necessary info!
Iām almost always using a crossbody bag now. They feel safer
I had been thinking about the additional door locks for a while and you gave me the nudge to finally get one~ canāt be too safe
Good idea!
Great information and a wake up call about how we take our safety for granted. The tip that surprised me was to look around you when opening your door at home. I know I’m too lax about that Thanks for all the wonderful info.
Great ideas! Itās always great to have refreshers about safety. I would add one more thing. Donāt leave tools outside. We had a door pried open by a thief who used a couple of screwdrivers that were left under a covered porch in the back of the house. We were fortunate that it was a kid who was looking for gaming systems and that was about all that was taken.
Great point! Ladders too
What a wonderful post, Jennifer! Thank you so much for sharing this important information. I will be buying 3 things that I didnāt know about. Thank you! Thank you!!!!
Iām glad it was helpful.
I have a couple of suggestions:
1. I programmed the doors of my car so that when I walk up, only the driver door unlocks. In my small city, several women have been abducted when getting in their cars by a male opening a different door and getting in. If someone is with me, I can easily unlock their door. (Car salesmen told me about the feature and it didnāt take 2
minutes to look it up & program it. I have a Honda.
2. I have given myself permission to report or even scream for help if someone is following me or bothering me in a store. As women, we were taught to be āpoliteā. My daughter in law was being followed by a man in Target in a good neighborhood. The man kept talking to her and talking to her kids. She called 911 from in the store. She went to the front checkout and told them what was happening. The police detained him outside. He had a past conviction for a violent crime.
I believe we have to protect ourselves and help others (especially young mommas distracted by little kids). We
Have to trust the sense that something isnāt right ā¦ no exceptions.
Jennifer, thank you so much for this post. It is so needed.
Iām so glad your daughter in law did that!! She likely saved their lives. Iāve told my daughter to do that with her car too. My husbands car is getting that programed next. I hate that his doors open the second you turn the car off.