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Monday Musings- Kindness Matters

Happy Monday ladies. I have many things on my mind this week, not the least of which is kindness. This past year has been a strain on everyone and many of us are showing the signs of stress that often sneak out of the little cracks in our composure. We all need to treat ourselves with greater compassion because kindness matters and that extends to the way we treat others.

power of kindness sign

You can’t know what someone’s life is like until you have walked a day in their shoes. Everything may look hunky-dory on the outside yet be a hotbed of pain on the inside.

My Saturday would you wear it posts are very popular with many ladies and not so much for others. I get it! That’s human nature. We’re not going to all like the same things. That’s why they make so many flavors of ice cream. But not liking something doesn’t give you permission to say something that hurts another woman’s feelings.

 

Working online has exposed me to more than my fair share of keyboard warriors. These are the folks who hide behind a veil of anonymity and strike out with their words. They’re the mean girls from our youth, all grown up to be mean women.

I admit I’m that person who has a hard time keeping her opinion to herself because…well…I know everything. Just ask my husband. But I always strive to temper my words and have compassion. I’m asking you to please do the same.

I want this to be a safe, supportive place for women to express their opinions. Some comments crossed over into hostile territory on Saturday and seriously offended other readers.

If you feel that strongly about something, get your own blog and spew your negativity there. Or better yet, head over to Facebook… there’s tons of negativity there.

I won’t tolerate women criticizing other women here on AWSL and that extends to their taste in fashion. Ladies don’t come here to be insulted by other women. If you absolutely hate what the mannequin is wearing and can’t comment as it relates to you, hit exit and go on to your next email. We’ll catch you next time.

I have never had to turn moderation on for every comment and don’t plan to start now. We’re adults and if you can’t play nice in this sandbox, go home.

The term old lady, grandma, and granny were tossed around in a derogatory way. I ask you, what’s wrong with being a granny?

Related – Why Granny Panties aka Full-Cut Briefs Are The Best Over 50

Just for the record, I am that (sometimes) sweet old granny who started her own business from scratch in my 50’s. I’m a solo entrepreneur who works upwards of 10 hours a day to keep it afloat and help support my family.

I go on cruises when I can, and if someone asked me to play shuffleboard, I would. I also played Bingo when we could. Does that make me inconsequential and worthy of derisive comments? Not in my mind and my readers don’t deserve it either.

I will be trying a new format here this week and hope I can keep the “mannequins” because I usually find it a lot of fun.

Take care of yourselves, be kind and most of all, wear what makes you feel confident, no matter what other people think.

xo Jennifer

 

 

 

 

 

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128 Comments

  1. Shari
    February 22, 2021 / 7:50 am

    Pandemic stress has me…and most ….. saying things better not said!
    Thanks, Jennifer for your reminder !
    It is a good practice to write a comment then PAUSE then reread it to see if it is kind and necessary!

  2. Lynette McClain
    February 22, 2021 / 7:40 am

    I’m New to your blog and am enjoying it very much. I normally dont comment and did not read the comments from sat. But your blog today was very well said. Sometimes we are too sensitive and interpret things in a negative manner. Easy to do when we aren’t hearing the tone of voice or seeing the body language of the commenter. I always try to look on the positive side, as I eliminated negativity back in my early 60s. Pushing 70 now, but 70 is the new 50 and blessed with good health, so not slowing down. Love the blog keep up the great work.

  3. Linda
    February 22, 2021 / 7:38 am

    Thank you!

    It is important to be supportive of one another!

    Attacking me or another because we thought an outfit was beautiful enough to wear just shows me how insecure you are in your own skin.

    We are all the flowers of the field here and as such, we are all beautiful no matter what we are wearing!

    We must support each other on our journeys and celebrate the differences as well as the. Similarities

  4. DEB
    February 22, 2021 / 7:35 am

    Well said and thank you for all you do!

  5. Barb
    February 22, 2021 / 7:34 am

    Thank you Jennifer for pointing out that certain terms can be hurtful to some readers. I am a “granny” and love fashion! Again, not all styles appeal to everyone. Age is just a number! Keep showings a variety of fashion. It is fun to see all the styles. Love your posts

  6. Gillian
    February 22, 2021 / 7:31 am

    I must admit that I haven’t seen the comments on Saturdays post. I very rarely comment on any subject but I agree with you about being polite to others. I am of the ‘if you can’t say anything nice,then don’t say anything at all ‘camp . If others are hurt by remarks then you are right to raise the issue. Thank you,I enjoy your posts, sometimes the clothes appeal to me and sometimes they don’t – if we all liked the same things,the world would be very boring!!

  7. Rhoda Clark
    February 22, 2021 / 7:29 am

    Jenifer, thank you so much for speaking out and reminding everyone, that our tastes are not always the same. I enjoy your mannequin posts. I always look at them and if it is something I would not wear because it doesn’t work on my body shape or just isn’t to my liking, I simply move on. Stress shows its ugly head in many ways. Please continue, we do enjoy your blogs.

  8. mel
    February 22, 2021 / 7:23 am

    Another person thanking you for speaking up. Yes, people are on a short fuse after a year of lockdown, but that’s a reason to be more kind than usual.

  9. Alison
    February 22, 2021 / 7:23 am

    Thank you very much. If it is one thing I have learned during this time and it is life is way to short and precious. You don’t know what someone else is going through and if we all spread kindness wherever we can, to whoever we can what a nice place this would be. Life is truly a team sport.
    On another note, keep the mannequins, I haven’t been in a store for a year and I live vicariously in that regard(shopping which I do miss although packages in the mail are a nice surprise too).

  10. Donna Hughes
    February 22, 2021 / 7:20 am

    Well said Jennifer! Your stance is courageous and what I believe demonstrates the meaning of grace and maturity, which are ageless constructs.

  11. Lori
    February 22, 2021 / 7:18 am

    Thank you for speaking up, Jennifer. It’s a shame some people feel the need to be unkind. We are so much better when we support each other and lift each other up!

  12. Cindy
    February 22, 2021 / 7:18 am

    Spot on.

  13. Linda L
    February 22, 2021 / 7:13 am

    Thank you for reminding us to be kind! My mother would meow like a cat when she would hear my sisters and I gossiping and I still hear her saying ‘if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all.”

  14. Laurie
    February 22, 2021 / 7:06 am

    I rarely leave a comment, but just wanted to say thank you. I try to live by my Mom’s words ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Love your blog.

  15. Mary Lou Hartman
    February 22, 2021 / 7:05 am

    Well said- thank you!

  16. Mary Ann
    February 22, 2021 / 7:02 am

    Thank you Jennifer! Your blog is my favorite of all that I subscribe. Can’t wait for your hair styling tutorial.

  17. Linda Jacks
    February 22, 2021 / 7:02 am

    Jennifer, The anonymity of the internet makes it easier for unpleasant people to spew vituperative thoughts, ideas and words with abandon. I’m in awe of anyone such as yourself who meets mean people and behavior head on. It’s a scary, dispiriting by-product of maintaining an online presence. You and your positive attitude are doing a bang-up job of showing us how it’s done with style.

    Thanks.
    Linda J

  18. Pamela
    February 22, 2021 / 6:54 am

    Jennifer, thank you for this blog today and your continued hard work. I was taught, many many years ago, that if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all !

  19. Sandy Baron
    February 22, 2021 / 6:50 am

    I believe most of your readers are 50+. Isn’t it a shame you have to remind ladies to be ladies. I see so much hate in life, be it politics or differences in beliefs. Respect for each other seems to be in short supply. Let’s use Jennifer’s blog as a safe fun place to see new fashion without leaving our homes. I enjoy the mannequins & your pictures in dressing rooms. Jennifer & I are built very differently but the things you wear together gives me ideas. I always check out the mannequins in the stores. Some I wouldn’t wear if they were free, but it still gives me ideas & a look into the trends for the new season. Let’s all be friends and help each other in these difficult times. Life is short.

  20. Carole
    February 22, 2021 / 6:44 am

    Jennifer
    Please don’t stop the mannequin post as I really look forward to seeing what’s out there👍 It seems in situations that a few will ruin it for the majority, don’t give them that power🙏 I’ve learned over the years that you will never pull a negative person up, they will try to pull you down.
    Thank you😘

  21. Marilyn Foster
    February 22, 2021 / 6:37 am

    Very well said Jennifer. Thank you!!!

  22. Debra
    February 22, 2021 / 6:36 am

    He, Jennifer:
    I am brand new to your blog (less than a week). I love seeing the clothes you choose and how you wear them. Real life is full of mean girls which is why I left my office job about 5 months ago and am in no hurry to go back to work. It seems there is always someone eager to tear a successful woman down. I am in my late 50’s and have grown quite weary of negativity from other women.
    I wear what I want when want. And for the record, I would rock that foil top and leggings! I love blue and gold foil!

  23. Judy Holmes
    February 22, 2021 / 6:35 am

    I quit reading the comments on Saturday so I am glad you addressed the unkindness. I appreciate every sentence you wrote in today’s posting.

  24. beth byrd
    February 22, 2021 / 6:34 am

    Thank you for speaking out and addressing the negative comments.

    I’ve enjoyed your blog for several years now and it is always such a positive place!

  25. Barbara
    February 22, 2021 / 6:33 am

    Jennifer and all, I apologize for my negative comment about Saturday’s outfit. I was not a mean girl nor am I a mean woman, but in this case I acted without thinking. Lesson learned. Thank you for reminding me that kindness is everything. I enjoy your posts so much and appreciate your work to educate us about style.

    • Susan B
      February 22, 2021 / 10:11 am

      Barbara, I for one would like to commend you for your apology. We’ve all said things without thinking it through and wish we could take back. I think it takes a bigger person to admit when they feel they’ve been in the wrong and apologize for it. It’s not always an easy thing to do.

  26. Susan
    February 22, 2021 / 6:28 am

    I always enjoy reading your column and think you have a great sense of fashion and have been inspired to life ‘my game’ and have incorporated several of your looks into my wardrobe. I did go back and read the comments from the Saturday blog and whilst some were certainly spirited, none of the comments were directed at either you or another person, which would be rude, but about an outfit on a mannequin. As for the terms, ‘granny and old lady’, were a young person to direct them at an older person, it is insulting, but not when used by older women who are generally having a laugh at themselves. I think most older women are frightened of being caught in a fashion time warp, which is why those terms are used? Because you are the antithesis of what is perceived to be ‘granny’ or ‘old lady’ , perhaps people commenting here just do not associate you with these terms, or are not directing them at anyone on a personal level?

    • Sarah
      February 22, 2021 / 8:31 am

      I agree, Susan, with your assessment of Saturday’s comments as “spirited.” They did not offend me. I always appreciate the different perspectives, whether or not I agree with them, but I certainly wouldn’t let them change my mind about an outfit I love.

      • Lily
        February 22, 2021 / 9:01 am

        Susan, couldn’t have said it better! When a blogger posts something and asks for comments I presume they want an honest opinion. It makes for really, really boring reading when everyone agrees. Who cares what an anonymous commenter thinks?

        • eileen
          February 23, 2021 / 7:08 pm

          I wasn’t offended either, I expect various opinions on a clothing item, that a manufacturer has made for the public.

  27. Leslie
    February 22, 2021 / 6:19 am

    I am a grandma …granny..and didn’t take offense to the comments. Everyone has their own opinion about styles and I wear what I like and makes me feel good, I’m sure others wouldn’t wear some things I do and visa versa. I don’t take it personally.

  28. Joanne Long
    February 22, 2021 / 6:10 am

    It’s funny but I feel empowered by age (69) to wear whatever I want. I’ve gone back to substitute teaching and the kids often ask “how long have you been teaching?” or comment on my white hair (long and curly). I feel that it is good for kids to see healthy independent elders. If women feel degraded or less free by age, it’s sad. Clothes can be fun! I was a bit silly this weekend. After a windfall and no shopping for a long time, I bought a metallic moto jacket and a pink top with writing on it . “You’re stronger than you think.” Will I wear it every day? Probably not. But it’s fun. Even old girls just wanna have fun😀

  29. Robin HM
    February 22, 2021 / 6:05 am

    So, the Would You Wear It – Foiled post, was, may I say it … Foiled. And spoiled.
    Mean people suck. You give clear directions that were not followed. Hugs!

  30. Carolyn
    February 22, 2021 / 5:58 am

    Good morning, Jennifer,
    I did notice more mean spirited comments on Saturday. Thank you for addressing it, even though I’m sorry you had to. We never know what is going on in someone’s life, but your comment about mean girls growing up to be mean women seems appropriate. Thank you for all the work you put into your blog. You are one of my favorites!

  31. Susan
    February 22, 2021 / 5:53 am

    Jennifer, you have my complete support. I am alarmed by the lack of common decency in this country, and i am proud of you for speaking up. I too wish to live my life without bullies. Well said!

    • Rita
      February 22, 2021 / 7:52 am

      I agree with Susan comments. Some of the Saturday comments made me cringe. Your blog today was spot on. Keep up the good work.

  32. Jane
    February 22, 2021 / 5:52 am

    👍👍👍👍❣️

  33. Gayle
    February 22, 2021 / 5:51 am

    Well said. Good for you.

  34. Lynn Vaughn
    February 22, 2021 / 5:50 am

    Good grief! I don’t read comments most of the time so missed Saturday’s conversation but want to thank you, Jennifer, for keeping your blog safe, clean and friendly to all! The lack of civility and respect and just good manners in our society astounds me. I hope and pray those things are not becoming an “old-fashioned”.

    • Jennifer
      Author
      February 22, 2021 / 6:00 am

      Civility and good manners will never be old fashioned in my book ❤️

  35. Meg
    February 22, 2021 / 5:50 am

    Jennifer – I recently found your blog and enjoy it tremendously. I like your honesty, humor and insight. It does amaze me how people feel that they can say anything because they are anonymous. My worry is that with kind of attitude (negative), their influence over their children and grands is indisputable, however subtle. Keep up the good work and rock on♥️

    • Jennifer
      Author
      February 22, 2021 / 6:01 am

      Welcome, Meg! So happy you’ve joined us.

  36. Dianne
    February 22, 2021 / 5:49 am

    Jennifer, thank you so very much for your message. Lately I am seeing more and more negative “nellies” on social media, but so much out in the communities also. I do understand all of us are still going through tough and for some unimaginable difficulties but as you said we do need to remember a smile is worth a thousand words and being kind to each other is so very important right now, let’s hope we can all do our best to promoted feelings of hope and goodness to each other.

  37. Janette
    February 22, 2021 / 5:49 am

    Very well said, Jennifer. I read your blog everyday, but rarely comment. Your content is uplifting and I love other women’s thoughts as well. Thank you!

  38. Paulette Levy
    February 22, 2021 / 5:47 am

    Important reminders…..thank you Jennifer.

  39. Rose
    February 22, 2021 / 5:47 am

    Well said!

  40. Celia
    February 22, 2021 / 5:46 am

    I’d like to think that some of those mean comments are because of the stress we are all experiencing during this pandemic. However, as you said, some mean girls grow up to be mean women, and they sadly can ruin the mood for all. As others said Saturday, I don’t always see details or realize points of view until others write about them, causing me scroll back to look at the garments differently. If someone is unkind, I tend to feel sorry for them because I figure they are dealing with sadness, and disappointment. But I appreciate your efforts to remind them that their comments are not appreciated.

  41. Yvonne
    February 22, 2021 / 5:46 am

    Well said Jennifer. Thank you for all that you do.

  42. Linda
    February 22, 2021 / 5:45 am

    Indeed!

  43. Ann
    February 22, 2021 / 5:44 am

    Well said, Jennifer. It is sad that there was a need for your post today, but we seem to live in a time when people express their thoughts and feelings with no regard for the feelings of others. The training to “Treat other people like you would want to be treated” seems to be a seldom practiced attitude now. So sad!

  44. Diane B
    February 22, 2021 / 5:44 am

    I am sorry that you even had to post this. It did upset me on Saturday such that I did not leave a comment and it is usually such fun to read the comments. I personally do not use much social media because it does have so many people who think they can say hurtful things to the person just trying to eak out a living and keep the rest of us entertained and connected. Do what you have to do to keep your spirits up and know that there are so many of us out here who thoroughly enjoy your efforts.

  45. Lashelle Rice
    February 22, 2021 / 5:41 am

    Well said Jennifer. I am new to your blog but thoroughly enjoy it even if the content doesn’t relate to or speak to me that day. Keep doing what you do!

    • Jennifer
      Author
      February 22, 2021 / 6:04 am

      Welcome Lashelle! I’m glad you you’ve joined us.

  46. Diane
    February 22, 2021 / 5:41 am

    Very well said, keep up the great work. Thank you.

    • Elsie
      February 22, 2021 / 7:31 am

      Thank you, Jennifer. I look forward to your “Would You Wear It” postings. Until I receive my second vaccination so that I feel safe going out to the mall stores, the Saturday postings help me see the latest fashion offerings. Also, I am a proud grandmother of four. Your postings are upbeat and provide a retreat from the current dreariness.

  47. Violet O'Brien
    February 22, 2021 / 5:38 am

    Sad that you had to reprimand grown women on how to treat others. Personally, if I don’t care for what a mannequin is wearing I just go on to the next item. We certainly don’t need nastiness in times like these, kindness and kind remarks can make someone’s day. You do a wonderful job and I truly enjoy your blog every day. Take care of yourself!

  48. Nancy
    February 22, 2021 / 5:37 am

    Thanks for the message.

  49. Terry
    February 22, 2021 / 5:35 am

    Very well said, Jennifer! I love your blog!

  50. Karin
    February 22, 2021 / 5:32 am

    Well said Jennifer. Thank you.

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